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Thread: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

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    Default Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    It seems like many customers assume that women become dancers because they either have kids to support or are working their way through college. Both presume that there's a lack of "choice" involved- "I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing, but I have a mouth to feed/books to buy!"

    They ask me "why I do this kind of thing". When I tell them the truth- that I don't have kids and dropped out of college and am dancing merely to support myself and for no other purpose, they seem sort of turned off or... disappointed?

    They'll sit there and pry into my life to find out why in the world I would skip college (is it really such a crime to not have a degree?) and lecture me about my choices- "how long do you plan on doing this?? You're not gonna be that one old nasty 30-year-old stripper, right? I mean, don't you have any goals or aspirations??" (For the record, my goals and aspirations aren't career-related).

    Sometimes I feel like lying and just telling them I have a college degree or am working towards one. I get enough scrutiny for dropping out of college in real life, I don't need that shit at work too Why do they give a shit about my life anyway? I don't care about theirs.

    Why do we have to have a "reason" to strip? Why can't I just want to make money? Isn't that enough of a reason in and of itself?

    I never got these questions when I was a line cook in a restaurant making $10/hr. It should be even less of an issue now that I'm making at least twice that amount. Stripping is a job just like any other that I'll do 'til I get tired of it and then move on to something else, like I've done for the 10 years I've been in the workforce.

    Anyone else experience this?

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    ^^^ Not really. I do tell them I have a "proper" day job though. It's a lie, but it usually shuts them up. I've found they're more likely to accuse me of lying when I say I'm in college, actually.

    I do know what you mean though, and it is an attitude I hate. I see so many ads on CL from potential sugar daddies who say "I'd really love to help a girl who's in college!" Yeah, that's why you're here buddy, because you're such a philanthropist :eyeroll:
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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Yes I have. When I wasn't in school people would ask me all the time : "Why do you work here?" and I thought they meant that club but they meant why did I dance since I don't have kids/ school/ wasn't on drugs or giving bj's in the vip.
    Now that I am in school I don't work as often but one time many years ago it was really slow and I had a textbook out on the table (there wasn't really a dressing room to study in), this guy stuck a $100 bill in it, which was awesome b/c that place was such a dive you'd be lucky to make $100 in a night!
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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Quote Originally Posted by SerenaSin View Post
    "how long do you plan on doing this?? You're not gonna be that one old nasty 30-year-old stripper, right? I mean, don't you have any goals or aspirations??"
    "Nasty 30 year old stripper?" Seriously???? I'm going to be that "nasty 30 year old stripper" in about 6 months. And since when is 30 geriatric? 30 is young. 30 is hot!

    I don't get the ambition lecture, but I constantly get asked, "What else do you do?" or, "Do you have another job?" And I'd just tell them that no, I didn't. I think a lot of times, guys are just trying to make conversation with me, or they're genuinely trying to be helpful. And truthfully, I do a LOT of other things--these things just don't happen to be consistent sources of income right now. And I don't consider these things my customer's business.

    But yeah, it is frustrating. I mean, I don't go to my dentist and ask him if he has another job, and then say something like, "Oh, but it must be so gross and unfulfilling, looking into everybody's nasty mouths all the time. Why would you want to do that?"

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    I think it's ridiculous when the customers go "So what else do you do?" they don't even ask IF you have another job. Then they go "oh just this..." I'm like "yeah, I work five nights a week for eight hours on my feet, how would I have the time or energy for anything else?"

    I thought about saying I was studying because they do seem to like the idea they're helping. I was saving up for a trip the first time I danced and I think some guys justified it to themselves by saying they were helping me. I say I strip because it's fun and I like it which is the truth but most of them don't believe me.

    Surely if they thought I was just doing it to pay for University or whatever they would think I wasn't enjoying our dances and it would be a turn off? Or is this the difference between how mens' and womens' minds work? Women need to be turned on by thinking the man is turned on by her. Hmm.

    I think a lot of men just like to give out unsolicited advice to make themselves seem important. I have a degree and they're always like, "so why are you doing this?" Because I WANT TO. And if I didn't have a degree they'd be telling me I should get one. They have no business telling me what I should be doing.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Honestly the college thing is hit and miss. I dance because it pays for all my bills (I support myself) and my tuition bills, but when I tell guys they either get turned on by it and I've had guys tell me "I'd like to buy some dances to support your education" and guys say "oh, I want my daughter to go there..." and get totally freaked out.

    I hate that guys continually ask, why did you decide to dance? Why did you decide to be a doctor or a lawyer? $$$$$$!

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    Veteran Member Christyismyalias's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    And truthfully, I do a LOT of other things--these things just don't happen to be consistent sources of income right now. And I don't consider these things my customer's business.
    Nor is it their right to know. Why do they always feel entitled to have an opinion on our choices and why do I have to justify my life to some random person.

    Sorry i just get annoyed by all of that. The judgement and everything. I'm used to it in the real world, but you come into our club to look at me naked and you want to try and "figure me out"/pass judgement for my life choices? There's never a right answer. I'm in school but they don't believe me if I say that, so I lie to avoid the "Of course you are" comments.. I do other things and of course I have goals and a fulfilling life outside of stripping, but why must I go into that with you?

    I'm sure they are often just trying to make conversation, and when I can tell it's sincere I do open up about it, but I prefer to keep the conversation about them. B/c we get it so much it just gets annoying.

    I do think they all want to be the hero. If we have kids or come from a troubled past or are in school, they feel like they understand "why" we are there and they want to "help" us..

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    I am in college, and have been in college since 2003. I have my Bachelors, and am working on my MA. I am trying to get a job, and have told custy's this, and they dont believe me. They call me a liar, or laugh it off, or say, "trying to fulfill some sort of fantasy for me?" etc, etc. Some guys seem to believe me, and give me some sort of pity speech. Like, poor stripper, trying to pay for college, cant get a job.

    It's so annoying!
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Every time I say I am ( which is true) I get the "Yeah right, that's what you all say..." from the customer , followed by a a list of interrogating questions challenging my status of being in college or exact subject material I am studying. So most of the time I don't mention it unless asked.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    when they ask "are you in school?" i just answer truthfully "no". what i dont tell them if that i already finished school because the ones i have told in the past have hassled me about why dont i use my degree then or assume that im lying. so i'd rather just not mention it at all. of course then they start with other annoying questions such as "do you have kids?" or "why do you do this?"
    of course back when i was still in school they would often accuse me of lying or quiz me on what exactly was i studying. very annoying either way.

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    Senior Member shinysugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    i tell them i finished school. culinary arts. then tell them i would work not as a dancer if i got payed more for working in the kitchen. i hate it when they ask what else would i do if i couldn't dance. i don't fucking know!!! there i said it. its hard wanting or having a "real" job when your raking in more cash then you could anywhere else. i guess they just want to know what they're investing their money into, or they just want to put you down anyway they can to make themselves feel better. then you just rape their wallets for that. that's how you make yourself feel better. stupid assholes.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Quote Originally Posted by SerenaSin View Post
    They'll sit there and pry into my life to find out why in the world I would skip college (is it really such a crime to not have a degree?) and lecture me about my choices- "how long do you plan on doing this?? You're not gonna be that one old nasty 30-year-old stripper, right? I mean, don't you have any goals or aspirations??"
    lol whatever. I'm 30. Like you can't have aspirations at 30. Whoever said that must have been like, 19. They also probably wouldn't know 30 1/2 the time they saw it. Not to mention you can be 40+, stripping, looking great, and still have a healthy perspective on your goals. There's nothing wrong with "career stripping". I personally couldn't do it, but as long as you save and you know you can retire before you just can't physically do it anymore, who cares?

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    I find that customers who ask this are attracted to a woman who's got something more going on behind the curtain. Sometimes brains is like the cherry on top of a good looking sundae.

    I certainly am attracted to a person who is going somewhere interesting.

    And on the other hand, some customers are turned off by a dancer who is "too smart".

    Can't please everyone.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    I tell everyone up front that I have no intentions of going to college and that I honestly enjoy my job. I list all the benefits as to why I'm working. If customers ask me why I work here I ask them why they work for whatever job they are doing. It shuts them up.

    It's never deterred customers from getting dances with me.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    To answer the OP's orig ques, I think that it depends on what type of club you're in. Currently, I think that it's pretty well known that a good amount of dancers where I work are in college/have a college education/are pursuing grad degrees. Therefore, working there to be in college is a fairly normal occurrence. If you go down the street to the other club (if it's anything like it used to be), you might actually get more respect for being in college bc the girls there don't seem to be as intelligent (or have their lives together as much). Then again, as mentioned in another thread, it might be better to not appear as though you have any type of intellect to some customers.

    Myself? I don't work for respect. I work for money. As long as you follow all my rules, I don't care what you think of me as long as you hand over the money!

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    I agree. A customer doesn't care if you're in college or not. I think its all about the chemestry and how the girl handles herself. Some customers are actually intimidated by smart women and some are drawn to less intelligent because they think they have a better shot at getting extras. And then you have the customers who give more respect once they see that you're not the type to allow them to say or do whatever they want to you.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    thanks for the responses ladies!
    I agree the "OMG 30 year old stripperz are gross!" guys are dumb as hell and indicative of how ridiculously youth-obsessed our culture is. I was just telling my friend the other day (I'm 24 and happen to have a lot of younger friends who make fun of me for being "old") that I can't wait til I'm 30, cuz I get hotter, smarter and more confident with each passing year Ugh I remember what I was like when I was 18... I would never wanna be 18 again o_O

    As an aside, one night a customer asked me if I had kids, and I said no, and he asked, "Why not??" I don't know why but that response made me wanna smack the hell outta him. What the hell do you mean why not?

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Quote Originally Posted by SerenaSin View Post

    As an aside, one night a customer asked me if I had kids, and I said no, and he asked, "Why not??" I don't know why but that response made me wanna smack the hell outta him. What the hell do you mean why not?
    I haven't had occasion to use it in the club, but my answer to everyone who's asked me that dumb question is "I don't like kids". Hahaha, I'm such a bitch.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Just tell them whatever you feel like they want to hear. Don't take what they say too seriously because I'm sure that they won't be taking what we tell them seriously either. Sell them an illusion which you think they'll be willing to buy and make that money honey!
    Last edited by bettyboop09; 07-03-2009 at 12:41 AM.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    I've grown to loath questions about my personal life. And it seems like EVERY guy in my club asks if I'm going to school and if so what for. I don't think it makes a difference what I say. The only thing that matters is how fast can I regain control of the conversation and lead it to a dance. If they ask why I dance I say it's because I'm a pervert exhibitionist, and I always get a laugh out of that one. Then it's really easy to lead the conversation to a persuasive sexy one.

    Oh and on a side note, 30 is the new 20! I look up to the strippers in there 30s. They more often than not blow everyone else out of the water, and look better too! I fully believe I'll be looking my best in my 30s and I'll be a better dancer.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Try to keep it light and fun. It should distract them from thinking about you being a "nasty 30 yr old stripper" (which is a retarded comment to begin with) and put them on the thought train they should be on: flirty entertainment. responses to "why are you here" that i use:

    "because you are here baby" (silly wink)
    "because at my old job, i got yelled at for drinking and being naked."
    "for the view, of course. How is the view in your office?"
    "i'm an exhibitionist and this is the way to do it without getting arrested"
    "because i am actively seeking to advance the cause of public nudity. You know, got to give back to the community."

    If they are really rude about it and get in my face about how its bad, the best solution is to walk away. However, sometimes my temper gets the best of me an i will respond with something like "well i have a 3.7 gpa and not too bad a university in mathematics. so yea, im not a complete retard." or "Well right now i have x$ in my garter. How much have you made today?" or "because i love lonely old losers like you spending your retirement funds on me." I usually try not to do this, but sometimes i cannot resist.

    Ive had guys give me more respect for being in college and some give less respect. It really depends on the customer. If you think you can read the customer well enough to tell him what would work best, then go for it. Although i dont like lying too blatantly because i cant always keep my stories straight. Its really best to try to change the subject. Men are typically easy to distract, especially by hot, naked women .

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Don't tell them you have a college degree because then they hate you even more and go "well why aren't you using it?"
    I usually respond back with "well most of my classmates are working at starbucks and barnes and nobles, i'd rather work here."
    Seriously they seem to think college degree= awesome job straight out of school, it's so obnoxious.
    If anything say you're still in school.

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    Senior Member tripletranny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    To be honest, who cares? This isnt an interview, this is a strip club. Next time someone wants to lecture you tell them anything you want, because quite frankly your too busy trying to make money. If i was stripping i couldnt give a shit what the custie thinks about my life.

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Respect?!?!?! I don't want their fuckin' respect! I want their money!!!

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Do custies give you more respect if they think youre in college?

    Quote Originally Posted by tripletranny View Post
    To be honest, who cares? This isnt an interview, this is a strip club. Next time someone wants to lecture you tell them anything you want, because quite frankly your too busy trying to make money. If i was stripping i couldnt give a shit what the custie thinks about my life.
    My thoughts exactly!! I would say that isnt exactly your business, but I can show you why pleasure is MY BUSINESS!!!

    If you're working as a cashier at mcdonalds would the custies in line ask u questions like this? Hell no lol! If they are being rude make em feel like the asses they are! If the intentions are good and they are just trying to find out more about you, keep it flirty and light for sure.

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