I've always had say a couple nights a month where I don't sleep well. I foolishly thought this was "insomnia". Well, I had no idea how bad it could get. I have slept like 2 or 3 hours total (and not consecutively) for the last 10 nights. I take that back, there were two nights I slept 4-5 hours because I took ambien. I went to the doctor Tuesday and that's what he gave me samples of. He also said he could call in a prescription for trazodone if I wanted... or more ambien. Unfortunately by the time I realized I probably want to try the trazadone, it was Friday and the office was closed. So, now I'm screwed till Monday. I have 1 nights worth of ambien left so I will probably take it tonight (since I didn't take it last night.. and didn't sleep) and hope for the best tomorrow night.
I don't understand why my body/mind is doing this to me. I don't want to become dependent on pills, but I don't know wtf to do anymore. I tried cutting out caffeine, I tried tylenol PM, I tried valerian, I tried melatonin, I tried "positive sleep habits". Hell, last night out of pure frustration I even tried smoking weed till I passed out... but no luck. I'm tired as fuck and I still just lay there and lay there. If I do manage to fall asleep I wake up with a jolt in like 30 minutes to an hour, and then I'm up for hours more.
I missed 3 days of work and the 2 that I -did- go I was a basket case. I don't like the way ambien makes me feel the next day, but i'm desperate. I can't even go out and have fun this weekend because I'm so anxious and exhausted.
>_<
Sorry for the rant. I just needed to get it off my chest.



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