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Thread: I feel like a bitch...

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default I feel like a bitch...

    This is kinda long. I apologize. I just need to vent and I can't vent to my husband... he won't get it.

    Ok, so I had a reg that came in all the time and was really cool in the beginning. He tipped me well, and seemed like a real sweet guy and it was fun to hang out with him. He's a biker, and Im into motorcycles and shit so it was fun. I gave him my number so that I could tell him when I was working and everything (he's the first and only custie I ever gave my # to and trust me he'll be the last). I was a little bit apprehensive about this, but like I said, he was cool in the beginning. I was always really happy to see him because he totally made the dead nights better. Things started to get weird though. He started calling or texting all the time, he stopped tipping me as much money, and started pulling the "I wanna meet you OTC" bull shit. He also started to ask overtly sexual questions which made me uncomfortable. I'm married, so this behavior doesn't fly. I also had concerns that he was actually stalking me (like ran my plates and knew where I lived and stuff based off comments he made). I let it go for too long (I admit it) because I was still trying to get money out of him, but once it became obvious it was out of control I started to pull away from it. Anyway, one night I did a dance for him and he started crying! I didn't know what to do. It was obvious though that he needed to stop being my customer because he no longer was just a customer in his mind. I happened to leave that night without saying goodbye to him (not on purpose) and he absolutely flipped. He called me literally half a dozen times in the space of 3 min. He would call, I wouldn't pick up, it would go to voice mail, and he'd call right back. This was the final straw. I texted him the next day and said this was completely unacceptable and to please stop texting or calling me. When I didn't hear from him for a week I thought he had understood. Then he started texting again, he's sorry, he understands why I'm mad and blah blah blah and would I be willing to meet him out for coffee so he could apologize. I didn't respond. I had nothing to say, and I certainly wasn't gonna meet him for anything. He came in tonight, saw me and texted me to find out if he could buy me a drink. I said no (I was also with another reg that spends A LOT on me - without being weird - so I wasn't about to walk away from him for someone that would just bring me drama). Then he asked if I'd as least let him apologize. I said he didn't need to. Then he asked if we could still be friends. I said we never were friends. He was a customer, and he can go on being a customer, just not one of mine. Then he practically cried to one of my friends that I was ignoring him and how bad he fucked up what could've been a great friendship.

    I know I did the right thing, I just feel bad. I mean, I had no other choice, and I wasn't an uber bitch, but at the same time I'm annoyed that I'm left feeling bad.

    Thanks for reading. I'm not even necessarily looking for any feedback here, I just needed to vent.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    Sticky, but it's best you were blunt and didn't string him along. customers need to know their place, I know it's hard for them to understand, we like them inside the club , but we are appalled at the fact that they want to see us OTC. Well, they can't help it, we are great actresses. Just watch yourself in case he becomes stalker, and drive straight to a police station if you think he's following you. Take care

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    Don't feel like a bitch u did the right thing cuttin him off he sounds unstable, I can just imagine how it started with u both bein in to the same things it must of made u more comfortable cos u were really sharing an intrest, just keep an extra lookout for a while but im sure he will go away , take care x
    xoxo

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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    doesn't your club do free personal invites.
    at my current club dancers can get cards that say You Were Invited By: x x x, then list of the days of the week and you can star which ones you work, then theres a space for comments, would be easier thn handing out your number and he an get in for free x

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    ^^ I don't hand out my number. I did it this one time and will never do it again.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    Nothing wrong/bitchy with being assertive & clarifying the relationship. And it's a good thing you did - he sounds unstable, so there's no telling what it would have escalated to. One guy freaked me out by hiring a private investigator to follow me (fucken prick!) - but that was the first and last time.

    Be safe & take care of yourself!

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    Featured Member *Jade*Love's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    I think you did the right thing. In this type of situation you need to be firm or else it can spiral out of control. Your safety is more important than anything! Good job for nipping this potential disaster in the bud and having the strength to put him in his place

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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    You absolutely did the right thing and I went through something very similar recently, so I will share that so you don't feel as bad.

    I gave a customer my number a few weeks ago, because he took me to VIP, was very good to me, seemed like we had a lot in common etc. He came in a few times (he was from Seattle and was in LV for a week.) no issue. Cool right?

    AS SOON AS THAT MOFO GOT BACK TO SEATTLE, the drama started. Texting me like "You should come out, I have a club within walking distance of my place." Blew it off in a sweet manner. Then he started bribing me with "If you come out to San Diego with me on my business trip, I'll make sure your school gets paid for. I need someone to spend my money on." Shut that down with saying I couldn't leave the city due to classes and if I missed any it would look bad on me.

    Like you, I let it go on too long. He would text me when he was drunk saying he wanted me to pee on him (????) because he had poor self esteem, asking me if I liked girls (and called me boring when I said no), and that I should come to the beach because "Nothing makes me harder than the smell of coconut oil and bikinis."

    I lost my shit and told him not cool and to never contact me again. He asked if we could still be friends, like your dude did, and I said the same thing you did: We aren't frieds, you're my customer.

    Dude acted all pissy pants like he was just SO DAMN BROKENHEARTED. I didn't feel bad, and neither should you. Guys like these are lonely, and needy, looking for someone to cling onto because they have shitty self esteem. And that isn't the fault of anyone but them.

    Good luck and hope he doesn't continue to be a total freak show.

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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    Omg!! I used to be a dancer (never really had a custie with stalker tendencies) but I have a few of these guys in cam-land and I am so glad it is online only. It creates that barrier although they still do want to meet you. I have one who mentions me moving in with him across country lol! The fantasies some men will create in their heads are insane!!! I always wondered how I would handle a reg. gone bad in the club. I lay down the law straight up with my cam guys too. If they bring up meeting I say I am sorry but I can't. Whatever they want to think (in their heads) from that point on they can, and this is not considered you leading them on. Always remember that. You made boundaries from the get-go, and he decided to cross those boundaries (in his head), as "raising kane" as that sounds.

    Seems once you contact these guys in any way shape or form any of these guys cam or strip club related out of the club or (when you are off of the website you work on in my case), they take it as a friendship. This friendship can go sour fast, unfortunately

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    "Breaking up" with a customer is hard. I've had to do it a few times and it's a pain in the ass. As they others have said, you handled it well.

    What's you clubs policy on having people barred? If he continues to bother you at work could he be barred from the club?

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    ^Yes. If the problem persists it will be taken care of. Atm though he's simply bad mouthing me to anyone who will listen. He's no longer harassing me though.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    ^^^ That sucks Jayatee. I had an experience with someone I dated recently. We dated for about a month in Jan/Feb, during which time it got weirder and weirder. First he started trying to tell me when to go to work. Then he started saying he didn't want me moving into the living situation I was planning, and that he wanted me to live with him instead (after 3 weeks?!) When he through a jealous fit over finding out about someone I'd dated months BEFORE we got together, that was the final straw. I told him it was over, that he made me uncomfortable, and to never contact me again.

    It didn't stop him. He kept emailing, texting, sending letters, weird packages, calling, coming into the club and waiting by the dressing room door. I finally had to have the managers at the club tell him he wasn't allowed in when I was working. He still tested it, and had to be kicked out. And he kept contacting me. I finally just decided to start deleting his emails unread.

    And just today, some douchebag from this site (a long time regular) threw a hissy fit on my public comment page when I asked him to not PM me (Seriously buddy- Fuck you and Fuck off.)

    You weren't a bitch. He took it to that level. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Some people just can't handle being told to go away.
    Last edited by Elvia; 07-04-2009 at 06:58 PM. Reason: edited to be more insulting.
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    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Veteran Member Oksana23's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    I have sometimes given custies my email, but never my phone number, but I will read this thread again if I feel tempted to do so anytime soon!
    Can't help it, I'm a born....[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like a bitch...

    Quote Originally Posted by Oksana23 View Post
    I have sometimes given custies my email, but never my phone number, but I will read this thread again if I feel tempted to do so anytime soon!
    Yeah all the threads lately about giving customers email addresses or phone numbers just make me cringe.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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