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Thread: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

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    Senior Member Scarlette_Lucre's Avatar
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    Question How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    last night a female customer ran out of the club crying because she thought i was in a domestic violence relationship after seeing a bite mark on my arm while i was on stage.

    Her friend called me over and told me that she thought i was being beaten and forced to strip. I laughed it off of course, but she was quite upset about it and nothing i said could convince her otherwise.

    I'm not in a DV relationship my partner and i play-fight almost constantly and he bit my arm to get out of a bodylock i had him in leaving a rather impressive bruise.

    but it left me pissed off for the rest of the night to think that in this day and age someone is still holding on to the stereotypes pushed upon them by the media.
    ~Rule No#1: Never say anything to make you seem less attractive then you are!
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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    Hmmmm....now this is a situation I haven't run across....I couldn't imagine it's that common so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

    There are ALWAYS gonna be those people who give in to the stereotypes.....It's a matter of being cultured/having common sense/being aware or reality vs. tv that alot of people lack....and always will.

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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    I used to get that crap a lot. I'm clumsy, I bump into the sides of door frames and I've given myself several black eyes and bloody noses over the years just from bumping into things or falling down. I also lift weights and sometimes I get bruises from the gym. I once hit myself in the face with a 45 lb. plate, and sometimes I get bruises on my legs from deadlifting.

    Then I get "OMG, is he hitting you?!?" from some hysterical bitch because of it. I finally got to the point where anytime someone said that to me, I just told them to go fuck themselves and quit talking to them completely. People don't do that to me anymore.

    Some people are flat out convinced that every man in the world is a monster just looking for a chance to beat a woman. In our line of work, they're even more suspicious of it. I think it's more of a reflection on the accuser. I mean, really, do these women never get marks on them or get hurt unless they are being beaten by their boyfriends? I'd just write her off as a hysterical weirdo looking for attention.

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    Moderator Miss_McKenna's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    I've had that situation a few times too, it's so frustrating!!! Recently I had a bug bite on my thigh which I scratched at and made it worse. A guy I danced for was determined it was actually where someone had burned me with a cigarette and would not take no for an answer! Eventually I couldn't stand to be with him anymore because of his constant help and advice!!

    Peoples iz dumb!


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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    OMG! i thought i was the only one! I walk into shit constantly, even my BF is asking if I'm getting tossed around at work because he doesn't really realize how often I walk into shit.... Ooops!

    If it's too big or rough looking, i'd say cover it up. Personally, I end up with tons of bruises on my legs, and I just say I'm clumsy... Obviously, bite marks can't fall into that category. I'd say something smart ass, like, "What, you've never had kinky sex before? You should see how HE looks!" Normally, this will shut them up. However, some people have their opinions, and if it really affects you or customers ask you about it, just LAUGH. Roll your eyes and make a comment about how you think it's sad some people don't want to be adventurous in bed.

    Luckily..... No one asks about my bruises, save for my BF.... And he just moved his office to our condo, so I think he'll find out rather quickly how often I walk into shit - especially seeing as how I tend to be mouthy when it happens.

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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_McKenna View Post
    I've had that situation a few times too, it's so frustrating!!! Recently I had a bug bite on my thigh which I scratched at and made it worse. A guy I danced for was determined it was actually where someone had burned me with a cigarette and would not take no for an answer! Eventually I couldn't stand to be with him anymore because of his constant help and advice!!

    Peoples iz dumb!
    I went into the loony bin in high school, and they were all OMGWTF when they saw my mosquito bites.... Those bitches thought I was a cutter!

    ummmmmmmmm no.

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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    That would royally piss me off too The worst that ever happened to me was when I was giving my cat a bath (he's long haired ok!) and he stuck me with just one claw on the back of my shoulder. Well instead of looking like a cat scratch it looked like a gross bruise. I knew I should have covered it up but I didn't think it was a big deal. The fucking manager of the club pulled me aside and asked if I had been in a fight. I was like what? And he said the bruise on my shoulder looked like I had been shoved into a wall. Now, in my mind I KNEW that I should have lied about how I got it, because who would believe the TRUTH. But being me, I told him the truth, and said it was a cat scratch from giving my cat a bath. LOL even though it was the absolute truth I didn't even believe myself when I said it. It sounded like a lie. I mean, who gives there cat a bath anymore. And he said, Well it doesn't look like it! And I should have explained that it was more of a puncture wound from one claw, but I just shrugged and let it go. I figured it just sound even more like a lie the more I tried to explain it.

    Completely fucked up though. I should have just said I fell or backed into something or something, anything other than the actual unbelievable truth! I still feel stupid about it and I can't help but feel paranoid that the manager thinks I'm lying about being beaten lol. Sucks.

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    I'd just write her off as a hysterical weirdo looking for attention.

    Exactly what I was thinking. Drunk chicks are the WORST. They're always bringing the fucking drama.

    I've only had this happen once, when I was a newbie learning to pole dance and had bruises on the front and back of my knees. Seriously, it seemed like a stupid question even then. Yeah, my boyfriends beats me, but only on the knees? WTF?
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    You aren't going to change their mind. They walked into the club thinking they already know everything about us and what goes on. In our lives. They watch too many movies! If you want to hustle it, tell them you really want to leave him, but you need to make a thousand more dollars before you can! Lol. Otherwise, screw em. They'll never get it. For some, sadly, the idea that we are beaten and forced into stripping. Is part of the fantasy. Otherwise, why would they be in the club when they KNOW what's going on?!

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
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    Veteran Member MissMynxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    I feel your pain. Try explaining to someone you're not in a domestic violence situation when you have lash marks and fairly nasty bruising all along your back and boobs!

    I'm into BDSM - and I have the "gothy" look to go along with it, but I'll get a weirdo once in a while who is just CONVINCED that the marks I have aren't from consensual play. I use the whole, "What, never had kinky sex before?" thing - because it's the truth! And if you say it with the right attitude, people either feel stupid and shut up or start asking questions, which I could use to get them into a dance.

    She sounds like she was looking for attention or looking to reinforce her own negative stereotype of strippers. Ignore her. lol
    "The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
    ...sweet things alone are not enough. Seduce me with more fire."

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    i used to get this a lot. One time after a drunken night walking in a steelyard with crumbled concrete i ended up with a huge bruise that took up about 1/5 of my thigh and everyone asked "if my man was beating on me." And of course i used to reguarly get bruises on my legs from pole work.

    Using selfless tanner and bronzer and maybe some cover up helps minimize the appearance... if you are pale bruises show up a lot.

    you can accessorize to hide some stuff. I got a lot of bugbites on my legs when camping a couple weeks ago and wore knee highs to cover them up. You can also buy those punky sleeve glove things without fingers at gothy stores if you have a huge bruise. it might not be what you ideally want to wear, but sometimes its better to cover something with clothing than have a glaring injury showing.

    Here is a piece of advice for getting rid of bruises/hickeys etc faster: take a soft bristle brush and press and massage the bruise with the bristles in circular motion. It will hurt a little bit but its totally worth it. The idea behind this is it helps break up the blood that is under your skin which is causing the discoloration. Your bruise will go away much faster than it would otherwise.


    if there is no way to hide the bruise: if it looks like it could be from polework then remind them that you are grasping onto a solid metal object. or even you messed up on a trick and hit the stage. for a bitemark: i dont know, you were having kinky bisexual sex with your female friend and it got a bit wild? or if it doesnt look distinctly human, your cat bit you?

    If they keep being rude, just walk away. Unless they are spending on you its not worth the energy to convince you otherwise. Let them run out crying, at least if they leave you dont have to deal with their stupidity.

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    Featured Member Naida's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    My grandmother does this shit with me ALL the fucking time! Even when I don't have bruises or anything, she'll make up some sort of invisible injury that only she can see on my body. It's basically gotten to the point where I know when it's coming and say "you better not even open your mouth unless your stuffing a cock in it, because I already know your predictable, petty bullshit" (if you knew our relationship, you would know that this is a CIVIL response between she and I) Thank you so much for posting about this after she pulled this shit again this morning!

    Everyone else, I just tell the truth because the ones worth explaining it to know that I won't take shit off a man. Hell, I once came home with a bloody nose (from a tiny cut, not getting hit) and busted lip after getting into a play fight with my ex-boyfriend one morning. My mother and sister were concerned at first, then laughed when they found out what exactly happened. My grandmother, on the other hand, threw a shit fit at my mom "because you're defending the guy beating the hell out of your daughter". I nearly fell to the floor laughing when my mom said "You must not know her very well, because I'm scared to see what HE looks like if he pissed her off!"
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Featured Member babybambi08's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    OMG!! I thought I was the only one. I and so clumsy, I think sometimes- how the hell am I even a dancer. I always walk in the walls, more like door frames. I have bad vision and even with contacts and glasses I still have bad measurment judgement (im nearsighted).

    I have tried the kinky sex, it never works.
    My knees are always bangged up, and I BARELY ever do anything on my knees(such as floor tricks!! not BJS) and everyone always asked about them.
    I finnnally got rid of all of them and I did booty shake for like ten sec on stage, that was it. and the next day.. ALL brusied AGAIN!!!

    Some guy thats a good customers always was says your bf still beating you, and I get fucking pissed but he spends money. He says "dont lie to me, Im not your mother!"

    I seriously wanna punch him in the face.
    And If I was being beat, or I was just in to S&M - its not your fucking BUSINESS!!!!
    AHHH - that felt good lol


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    Veteran Member misspthesweetesttaboo's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    i get shit from custos about my burn marks that i receive from their stinky ass cigarettes!
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    I used to turn that situation around on the customer when a guy would comment on my bruises. I'd say that I was taking taekwondo and I had a belt challenge just the other day. Then I'd follow up with "You should see the guy whose ass I kicked if you think I look bad."

    That would usually shut them up. It has a double benefit of the guy not trying to push my boundaries in a lap dance, as well.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    ^^^ Genius, Paris..consider that stolen. Thank you very much!!
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    Senior Member Tonya's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    I use to get that a a day job. I was dating a guy in law enforcement. I'd be on the phone with him like yeah I'm going to xyz today. And he'd tell me about something going down there or someone who did something crazy they were looking for near there. So, I'd say I'm not going. This happened a few times. That's all my co-workers would hear and they talked about me, like poor girl, he won't let her do anything.

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    Veteran Member M3wlove's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    "Yeah, my boyfriends beats me, but only on the knees? WTF? "

    i think elvia said it, thats hilarious ^

    i like what paris said, that seems a great way to shut someone up. has anyone ever pretended they DO have marks from fighting/abuse? not to the management or to girls asking, but to the customers. like, "yeah i dont wanna talk about it." :pulls stoic face/ sad face:
    id figure theyd either a) try to be slick and say some line like, you can talk to ME, b) pretend to understand and be quiet, or c) tip you out of pity. unlikely but possible?

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    Veteran Member Alexis81's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    All the club regulars and dancers have seen me fall off the stage, walk into walls, crash into the pole numerous times so I no longer get that question
    Alexis



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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    When I first started, I was doing some floorwork and accidentally sat on the tip of my heel (I'm double-jointed, so this isn't unusual for me). After I got home, I looked, and I had this absolutely enormous purple bruise that was maybe two inches in diameter right in the middle of my left ass cheek. It stayed for maybe two weeks, and I would try to cover it up with makeup, but it did no good...and booty shorts wouldn't really cover it up, either (at my club, it's just topless, and you're not required to strip all the way to your G-string). Customers would see the bruise, and get all serious and ask very ambiguously, "Are you okay?" But on the bright side, they tipped me a lot that week, lol.

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    Featured Member babybambi08's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    the other day I was going to sit and play with my kids and I didnt see this baby stroller behind me and I sat on the handle of it, but the worst it wasnt like my butt crack it was more like in between the leg bone and the end of my pelvic bone (i guess) OMG it hurt so bad!! I screamed in pain and now I have a big brusie like under my leg, butt area.. It looks horrible!


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    Featured Member Naida's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    Quote Originally Posted by M3wlove View Post
    has anyone ever pretended they DO have marks from fighting/abuse? not to the management or to girls asking, but to the customers. like, "yeah i dont wanna talk about it." :pulls stoic face/ sad face:
    id figure theyd either a) try to be slick and say some line like, you can talk to ME, b) pretend to understand and be quiet, or c) tip you out of pity. unlikely but possible?
    No offense, but I think that's just a low tactic and insulting to women who really are abused.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Senior Member shinysugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    it was always the other way around for me. my ex always thought the customers were hurting me. but then again there was 1 time i fell hit my right knee on a table in the middle of a lap dance. i had to get 3 1/2 layers of stitches. 19 on top, it was horrible. the whole story and pics are on my myspace if your curious.

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    Veteran Member M3wlove's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    im sorry, i didnt think it would be offensive. in real life, hell yes, i'd think thats a horrible way to get attention. but when its drawn to your attention by someone who wants to believe in a warped stereotype then hell, let them, just dont let them waste your time. if there are way more effective and graceful tactics of getting someone to drop the subject, then thats even better.

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    Senior Member shinysugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you convince someone you're not being beaten?

    you could play the victim and claim youre dancing to save up money to get out of the relationship but he keeps taking it ect. ect. ect.

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