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I am soooooo mad at myself. On Saturday night I contacted my ex boyfriend. We havent been a couple for THREE years. Our relationship itself lasted 5 years.
I have kept in contact here and there with him. He will email from time to time or call to check in. He was engaged but called off his wedding about 6 months ago. He was still with the girl however,. they were trying to work things out but the actual wedding itself was cancelled.
We met up for a drink a few weeks after the cancelled wedding. HUGE MISTAKE. I took one look at him and really missed him. I ended up crying and he got upset because he knew he shouldnt of asked me to hang out and he didnt know what his intentions were at the time. We stopped contact after that night.
I am so mad though because I got so drunk saturday and i called him and left him a voicemail.
It wasnt a declaration of love or I miss you. It was somewhat sexual. I recall saying I had just broken up with my boyfriend, and that I was thinking about him that night cause we always used to spend the 4th of july on his boat and then I went into say that i really wish we had just slept together that night we had hung out because no matter what we would always have undeniable chemistry.
I am so embarassed. I cant believe I called him.
Truth is, I will probably always love him in some way.
But I am quite fine without him now!!
I dont know what to do because he called me today at work. Not even my cell number but my work number.
I happened to be out of the office, so my co worker said that he asked her to tell me to either email or call him.
I am so mortified. I was hoping he would just ignore my call or realize I was not sober when calling. This was Saturday night that I called so its now wednesday I was pretty sure after sunday that he was not gonna reply and i felt RELIEVED. But now he has. I am thinking of just telling him sorry, and to disregard my message.




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