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Thread: I have to leave my club... need advice

  1. #1
    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default I have to leave my club... need advice

    I've been working at my first club for about a month and a half. I have really liked it and become good friends with pretty much ever girl there and really close to a few. I've gotten along well with management and developed a good working relationship with all the managers and support staff. I've worked at a few other clubs but not for more than a night because I've liked the people and the atmosphere here so much... and thought I was liked and respected in return.

    Basically the manager working during my shift and all of the girls think that I stole $ from a girl when I did not. There was also a misunderstanding of me taking a girls keys because we have the same keys and they were by my bag-- I gave them back to her and told her what happened but my manager went through everyone's things looking for the $ and didn't want to hear what happened with the keys, just told me not to lie to him. I showed him my stuff and that I did not have the money but he clearly did not believe me, and told me I'm still able to work but that what I said didn't make sense. I honestly did not steal her $ and thought it was my key and I work there enough (6 days a week) and know everyone well enough that I'm angry I'm being accused of it. My closest friend there drove off with the girl who's money got stolen and basically left me out to dry while I was being accused (she pointed out the keys to me when they were by my bag).

    I'm really angry and hurt because the people at this club have been my only support after being cut off from my family in the past month. I've given them all my time and never come in late or left a shift early even though many nights I haven't made enough $ to pay the valet. I'm always the girl lending out her stuff, bumming cigarettes, and letting girls borrow my beauty products, I never use a baby wipe without asking first. I don't steal customers from anyone and I don't talk shit. I've had outfits, make up, and money stolen from me many times.

    I can go back there tomorrow and work but I know everyone is going to have heard about this and treat me like shit and be super cold and suspicious. I want to go back just to prove to myself I am strong enough to handle it but I don't feel like there's any point in making myself miserable when the club has been dead these last couple weeks and isnt by any means the best club here.. and theres really no way to ever clear my name from what's happened or convince anyone I didn't do it. I'm sure a bunch of rumors will be going around about me now that this has happened, and I'll be blamed for everything that ever went missing.

    So it seems like the best thing to do is to move on somewhere else and start over again which I really don't want to do but feel like I have no choice. What is the best way for me to leave the club? Should I tell the managers I'm not coming back or just not come back? I don't want to be shit-talked all over the place or have problems getting hired somewhere else.

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    Default Re: I have to leave my club... need advice

    What about just taking a break from the club and working somewhere else for a while? Then in a couple of months or whatever when things have blown over, come back. Explain to your manager you don't feel comfortable with being accused and are taking a little break. If he knows you work hard for the club, I think he would let you come back.

    Who knows, you might find an even better club in the process.

    There's not much you can do after being accused when everyone believes it was you. Time is really your friend here.

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have to leave my club... need advice

    Do you think taking a break will make things worse or better? And if I tell my manager should I call or go in?

    I feel like if I dissapear people will assume that I did steal the $ and am avoiding the club for that reason. But I highly doubt I will be able to make any money tomorrow with the bad vibe I know will be there. One girl not liking me is one thing but the whole club being against me is another. On top of that the girl who got the money stolen from her is one of the managers favorite girls and is new but started a couple weeks before me (she goes out to party with management and is dating a DJ). Do you think there is a possibility given that that I'll ever be able to work again without being hated?

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    Default Re: I have to leave my club... need advice

    Honestly I would say to cut your losses now. I'd basically go in and work another shift, then ask to speak to the manager privately in his office. Tell him exactly what you told us, that you didn't do it and you feel that you have put your best effort into the club but that you can't work somewhere where obviously there are trust issues. Tell the manager that you are going to go work at another club and that your really like everyone at the current club, but since they aren't returning the friendship and appreciation that you think it's best to take a break and go somewhere else where you are respected. Then say that you hope to return to the club when the time is right, and under better circumstances. Tell him that if he ever has problems and needs dancers to give you a call, otherwise you'll be back in a few months, when time has healed things a bit.

    P.S. Personally I'd also recommend that they put in security cameras so in the future they aren't wrongfully accusing innocent people.
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    Default Re: I have to leave my club... need advice

    this is similar to a situation going on at my club. but basically, when a group of friends are convinced you stole something, they're not going to let it go. logically id say stay away for a while and it'll blow over, but i'm trying to apply my situation to it.

    we think this girl stole from one of our friends. she could leave for a year, and come back and we'd still accuse her and taunt her. the only way for us to leave her alone or accept that she didn't steal would be if she stood up to us and made her point and proof on why she didnt steal.

    otherwise, the timid will get picked on. =/ it's immature, but it's a strip club.

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    Default Re: I have to leave my club... need advice

    Look your biggest mistake is believing the people in the club are your "friends" NOONE in a strip club is your friend. Im sorry to be so blunt and honest but im trying to help you. I am nice and friendly to the girls in the club i talk to them in the club only and never get to personnal. You should never mix you real life with club life. Being overly nice and lending your stuff and basicly being a doormatat for the other girls is not worth you effort. I am by no means an ice queen but i am not a doormat. You need to understand that the reason every girl is there is money not friends. Clubs have there cliques and it can be fun to be a part of them but don't invest to much of yourself into being a part of the "clique". Rember the club life is kill or be killed. Trust noone and respect everyone.

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    Default Re: I have to leave my club... need advice

    ^^^^ Very good advice to give a noob! If you like your club stay, leaving makes you look more guilty. If you really want to go somewhere else then look for a bigger and better place and good luck!
    XoXo Gia
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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have to leave my club... need advice

    I'm definitely leaving this club. There is so much bullshit going around, the girl who looked like she backstabbed me says they fired her because they told her they thought she stole the $ and wouldnt let her go inside the dressing room to talk to me. Another girl is convinced that the girl never lost the money in the first place and it was a set up, which doesn't seem that far fetched because after going over the details today a lot of shit does not add up.

    I'm not a doormat-- if I lend my stuff I expect it back before the shift is over and if I bum someone a cigarette I expect them to bum me one the next time I'm out. But I am definitely one of the nicer girls and just the type of person who makes friends with everyone I work with. This job has just been difficult for me to get used to because the enviroment is so different from any other work enviroment I have been in. I'm used to working a job where I have to keep a schedule and if you're late you're fired, and people are not trying to fuck you over constantly and steal from you and backstab you the way strippers do. Obviously that's going to be anywhere but in clubs it seems like it's x1000. I feel like I'm in middle school again but with more drugs and less clothing.

    But I have definitely learned my lesson from this experience. Most of the girls that work at the club are in this "clique" but theres a couple who just keep to themselves and don't really interact with the rest of the girls. I used to think they were just unfriendly and kind of bitchy but after this mess I can see they've just been doing this longer and don't want to deal with all the bullshit.

    But anyway I basically decide fuck them I do not want to deal with all this bullshit and drama nor do I want to be disrespected and treated like a criminal so I didn't go to work. The manager (he's an assistant manager not the gm) called me and left a voicemail telling me he wants to know why I didn't come in and apologize for the way he acted last night and can I please work tomorrow night. I'm debating if I want to go in, I really the need the $ and it's not like I can audition and work anwhere the night of at a new club and I haven't gone to the others I worked at in so long I know they'll give me shit for turning up out of the blue on a Friday. I just don't want to deal with the bullshit from the other girls, although now I don't even know who's blaming who for the money being stolen (if it even was). I know it will be busy though so I guess I can just go and keep to myself and talk to any guy sitting there no matter how much a time waster he is.

    But I've got four other clubs I'm interested in so Monday I will be off to audition at them and hopefully get hired.
    Last edited by audrey_k; 07-10-2009 at 01:31 AM.

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