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    Default asking out a stripper

    ok i know how this sounds but i recently went to a stripclub, had some drinks, a good feed and a great show, i then got a private dance from one of the girls. she was really great to talk to had a good personality and we just chatted for a good hour about everything, work, cars, movies, food just everything. im sure this is all part of the job to draw guys in but anyway. i cant seem to get over her. shes not the 1st women ive seen nude or anything and its not just cause shes beautiful, i can get her out of my mine. now shes my age so im not some 80 year old guy sussing out 19 year old guys. i really feel like going back and asking her out or giving her my number or something im not talking about stalking her or sex i just want to get to know her as a person. would this be ok or just stupid????

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Hell ,why not? it will satisfy your curiosity, and you'll never wonder "what if", but don't take offense or be surprised if she says no because she was just"working" or if she tries to pursue you as a customer for ITC.

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Go back. At least take her for another dance - you did enjoy it right? At the END of the dance discreetly give her your card and tell her you would love to take her out and get to know her better, but no pressure.

    I can't stand it when guy ask in the middle of a dance or just come in to ask. She is at work. If she is sitting there with you she is not getting paid. She might like you too but at the end of the day she has bills to pay! If you ask in the middle of the dance and she wants to say no, she will feel awkward. I also much prefer the guy to give me their number instead of asking for mine.

    Remember we get asked out several times each shift. But yes we do sometimes think you are hot and want to go out with you! So good luck!

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    Senior Member leyah's Avatar
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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    I say let it go. A dancer is always being asked out at least once a day, and its annoying as hell. Besides if she dates you she would be mixing business with pleasure and thats never a good idea. And the fact that you visit strip clubs in the first place don't create a good first impression with someone you are trying to date. Be careful if you decide to ask, you dont want her to start avoiding you everytime you come in the club. so if you really want a friendship, I would try building one as a customer of hers.

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Probably a bad idea, but ya never know. The worst that can happen is that you will spend all your money, have your heart broken, and face public humiliation as a pathetic loser being played by a heartless stripper.... on the other hand, maybe you guys will fall in love and get married and live happily ever after. We've seen both extremes around here multiple times.

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    Veteran Member SteveSmith's Avatar
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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    That good feeling (crushy feeling, ie, strip club crush) you have for this dancer is very common, it'll fade in a few days if you don't see her anymore.

    Dancers are like Venus Flytraps. The Venus Flytrap emits fake scents to lure insects close enough to devour them. The dancer uses fantasy and emotional intimacy (fake scents) to devour you. j/k

    The odds are small that she'll go out with you, but I'd ask for the hell of it.

    What the dancer is making you feel is why many customers go to the strip club so don't think it's anything more than fake scents that are attracting you to her at this point.

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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Please don't! It's annoying to dancers and if you are a nice guy, you'll just get your feelings hurt. Strippers provide a fantasy, the intimacy you may feel isn't real. In reality, the girl you met at the club, may not even really exist. Many of us have vastly different work personalities.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Is it Monday already?

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    If going out with her and no longer buying dances from her is really what you want, just ask her. But be prepared to find out that her only interest in you is as a customer. While some of the posts here imply asking might irritate her, if she wants to see you IRL, she won't be irritated. If she doesn't want to see you IRL and this irritates her, so what, take comfort in the fact that it is better to find out sooner than later that this is the case.
    Last edited by bem401; 07-13-2009 at 12:02 PM.
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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    I would say don't. More than likely it won't end well. I also find it annoying when guys ask me out. If she is pretty and provided you with great dances as well as conversation, then it sounds like you got your money's worth. Leave it at that.
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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Well did she sit and talk to you for an entire hour? Or did she just stop by every once in a while for 10 mins? She might have enjoyed talking to you and saw you as a "safe zone" to park at your table when she wanted to still survey the room but not look like she wasn't alone and undesirable. I could be wrong but some nights I will find my "safe zone" guy. My advice is to go in a couple times and just talk to her and see where it leads. I agree with what the other girls, I get asked out ALL THE TIME and it's really annoying. Don't bother with giving her your phone number either, it will just get either lost with the other numbers she aquired through the night or be put in the trash.
    Angelina

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Not to be mean but this was a business transaction not a love connection. We get this ALL the time. I'm willing to bet you're new to the scene. Either way she's not interested. What you guys never ever seem to understand is that this is our job. We aren't interested in you we are interested in getting paid and we talk about and tell you whatever we need to in order to get us the most money. This isn't some magical connection with your soul mate. We are actresses. It is our job to feed you lines and make you feel good while we take your money. If you go back would she be happy to see you? Of course. She made money off you. If you give her your number will she smile and act all excited? Maybe. Will she call? Probably only to tell you when she works next if at all.

    So in short, you have a stripper crush. You'll get over it.
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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by caleb View Post
    ...just stupid????

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    If you wanted advice about asking out women in general I would be more likely to help you. I don't think all dancers can be clumped together like that.

    If you can afford to go the club and spend money on her than you can see her there. There is nothing in your post that makes me feel like she shared some "magic connection" with you.... I think u fell for some ss my friend, and any "dates" between u and her will probably take place itc and on your dime.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    I have had many a stripper crush in my day, and that's what I call them, and that's what they are. I tell my SO and/or friends "Oh crap, I've got a new stripper crush, better start budgeting for it", lol. I'll be her regular for a while until she quits the club or I decide I'm over it.

    If they ask for your number first and put it in their phone - or the really tricky version, put their number in your phone and then call theirs so they have yours - it's a play to keep you interested, you will soon find they are only texting you with when they work and want to see you SO BAD - but your calls when she's off aren't answered.

    In my experience, if they're interested in seeing you OTC when they meet you ITC - it DOES happen - the girl will give YOU some contact info and specify that they want to see you outside the place. Maybe get your number too - but the cincher is that it was their idea, and that they actually follow through and set up a date when they're not working. And that's a rare case my friend, lol.

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    but the cincher is that it was their idea
    Nuff said----------go see her in the club, spend money, treat her nice, and if she truly falls for you or just wants a hookup, she will tell you. Your goal should be to enjoy yourself. Dont stress about whether or not she is really into you. Enjoy the game or dont play. Have FUN above and beyond anything else....leave the rest to chance. I personally love the mind fuk especially if it follows me for a few days until i wake up from it. Too bad they dont get paid for those days tooo

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by leyah View Post
    I say let it go. A dancer is always being asked out at least once a day, and its annoying as hell. Besides if she dates you she would be mixing business with pleasure and thats never a good idea. And the fact that you visit strip clubs in the first place don't create a good first impression with someone you are trying to date. Be careful if you decide to ask, you dont want her to start avoiding you everytime you come in the club. so if you really want a friendship, I would try building one as a customer of hers.
    Pretty much.

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Why make it complicated and awkward?... and ruin a potentially great dancer/custie relationship?... Just enjoy that you can see her when you want (assuming she's not changing clubs in the near future) and have a great time with her... Become her regular... If you're lucky, she might like you (I didn't say "love", I said "like"...)

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    If you can't get a date with a hot twentysomething in a normal bar, you're not going to have any better luck in a strip club!

    BTW hitting on bartenders and waitresses in regular bars isn't a good plan either.

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Caleb,

    I am not a playa by any stretch but allow my to indulge. I am a theorist by nature, so may be I can use this gift to chart out a course that you can traverse. This however does not guarantee anything.

    Let us start.

    Your object is a stripper. What are her attributes?

    - She dances for money
    - She pretends to make love to you for money

    These attributes of a stripper can be very demoralizing for a tender young man who is in search of his Juliet. It is understandable. Your brain is telling your heart to stay away from her because she may just be after your money. Well that is her job. So, we cannot blame her for that.

    But a stripper derives herself from a woman. What are the attributes of a woman?

    - She wants to fall in love
    - She wants to get married
    - She wants kids
    - Etc.

    At this stage, you need to find out how much of those attributes of a woman are still there in the stripper. Because, it is possible for a stripper to to suppress the attributes of the woman over a period of time.

    Does she want to fall in love?
    Does she want to get married?
    Does she want kids?

    Once you solve that then the next challenge is to find out following:

    Are you the man she wants to fall in love with?
    Are you the man she wants to get married to?
    Are you the man she wants to have kids with?

    If the answer is yes, then the mission is accomplished.

    If the answer is no, then the mission was a failure. But, you tried. No one can blame a man for trying.

    I wish you all the best!
    Last edited by Cyril; 07-13-2009 at 08:48 PM.

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    THIS... Will be interesting.

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    A good way to tell if a stripper is really into you is to stop buying dances from her. Don't be a total deadbeat, but keep your spending under $10 each time...if she still is into you then you can hook up but if she only hangs around you after you spent money you are nothing but a tool. Also asking for her number is a sure sign...if she does not give it to you (sorry but I don't have a working phone right now, I need to get my bills paid) then she does not care about you.

    I did find it interesting once when a stripper did the "stalking" and added me on her facebook (we had a mutual friend). The only drag is that I was not attracted to her so I never bothered trying to ask her out.

    Get real though...any hot stripper already has plenty of men chasing her around...

    It is pretty easy to get over a stripper...just go to a different strip club (or even the same one) on a very busy night (saturday or friday night) and pick out one of the other hot girls and buy a dance from her. You'll get over the first stripper pretty fast.

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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    A good way to tell if a stripper is really into you is to stop buying dances from her. Don't be a total deadbeat, but keep your spending under $10 each time...if she still is into you then you can hook up but if she only hangs around you after you spent money you are nothing but a tool. Also asking for her number is a sure sign...if she does not give it to you (sorry but I don't have a working phone right now, I need to get my bills paid) then she does not care about you.
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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    i also wanted to confirm that i can talk witha guy for hours about cars, food, movies, music , life...etc.and your reaction is the standard one i recieve after spending some (paid for) time together. its not magic, you did not click. the conversation was a practiced and proven one. Granted i do not have the same conversation with every single guy, but the results are usually similar- they leave with a lot less money than they came with. and ps. strippers aren't exactly shy- if she liked you =you would already have her number
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: asking out a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    If going out with her and no longer buying dances from her is really what you want, just ask her. But be prepared to find out that her only interest in you is as a customer. While some of the posts here imply asking might irritate her, if she wants to see you IRL, she won't be irritated. If she doesn't want to see you IRL and this irritates her, so what, take comfort in the fact that it is better to find out sooner than later that this is the case.
    I would say if you ask her out and she says no, tip her $20 and say "thank you for not leading me on" or "thank you for being honest" or something like that.

    That way, you show that you understand and appreciate that you just hit on them at work, and want to soften the blow of irritation

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