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Thread: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

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    Curious Guest DeadlyDestiny's Avatar
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    Default Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    So I'm new to stripping, I've been working at my club for 3 months and I love it! Only thing is, my boyfriend hates it. He and I live together so he sees what I'm going to be wearing at the club, and he sees how much money I come home with, and he yells at me for it all. I guess I just want to know how many of you girls out there have a boyfriend/husband who doesn't care for your stripping and how to deal with it?

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    Veteran Member ohiogirl26's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    I am married & my husband doesn't like the whole situation. Basically, I am new back to dancing so we kinda agreed that I'll do it one month & then analyze the whole thing, like how much did i really make, how do i like it, how he is dealing with it, etc......

    Maybe you both could take some time to see why it isn't working with him & you can decide whether the money you've made is worth causing this many probs with him. NOW IF, you aren't set on being with him, then maybe just get rid of his ass. If you love dancing & are being independent & making good money, why loose all that for a guy that wants to yell at you for all that? So some choices to make here & things you both need to discuss.

    Hope it all goes well for you.
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    Senior Member KatjaMolotov's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Nobody needs to be yelled at for doing something that they love, and imo, I would throw him the hell out. But thats just me, I'm sure there are some ladies on here who have better advice for you. Btw, what does he want you to do instead of stripping? Alot of his anger seems to be fueled by jealousy, at the outfits other guys see you in and the money you bring home, and he may prefer you to struggle with no money at all then overdo him, if that makes sense. Nice to see another girl dancing in West Virginia though, what club do you work at?
    AKA: Kimber

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Well my boyfriend says hes ok with it but I know hes lieing. If he starts fighting about it I would just kick him out. I like dancing, I get to wear outfits I like, meet people, and make money without all the waiting and work taxes.

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    pssst, you still need to pay taxes. seriously. on a different note, there are guys that will hate it and there are guys that are perfectly fine with it. Unless your bf is paying your bills, he really has limited grounds for giving you shit. So either he'll learn to live with it, or he'll be out like a fat girl in dodgeball. and you quitting wont really solve the problem because to me, a guy thats that insecure and judgemental has bigger issues than just you being a stripper
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Quote Originally Posted by saphire123456 View Post
    pssst, you still need to pay taxes. seriously.
    Pssst I know, I mean waiting taxes, writing taxes, paper taxes, account taxes, taking 20% of your money to pay for cleaning the floor you walked on for ten hours, health taxes when you don't even get cover from them. Next time ask before thinking you know what someone is talking about. You have to pay taxes yes, paying bullshit taxes to take most of your money.. no.

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    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    My bf doesn't like that I do it, nor does he like the fact that I'm about to get a work phone, but oh well. I just tune him out. He doesn't yell at me, though. How stressful that sounds. How did you even get around "letting him" start at a club, since you said you've been there for 3 months? Did he think he could handle it and then find out it's too much? I would have a talk w/him and set him straight about things, and find out what really is bugging him, bc a "boyfriend hating stripping" is very vague. Is he jealous of your money? Jealous of other guys seeing you naked and being grinded on? Worried that someone he knows will go to the club and see you? Want "better" for your future? Not like your hours? Figure this out and go from there.

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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    My boyfriend hates that I am dancing still. He 'rescued' me from it, then the economy has almost tanked his business. We used to fight about it more, but now he tells me that i 'shouldn't apologize for being ambitious'. However, not gonna lie.... when I work more, he does get distant.

    I made a deal with him. He gets to see my outfits before I wear them to work. I also have him check my makeup before I leave to make sure it's 'guy approved'.

    Like I said, he doesn't like me still dancing, but he can't pay my bills, so he won't argue about it..... I can't wait until I get to be home with him every night though.

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Quote Originally Posted by sananeko View Post
    Pssst I know, I mean waiting taxes, writing taxes, paper taxes, account taxes, taking 20% of your money to pay for cleaning the floor you walked on for ten hours, health taxes when you don't even get cover from them. Next time ask before thinking you know what someone is talking about. You have to pay taxes yes, paying bullshit taxes to take most of your money.. no.
    Honestly, I thought the same thing she did. Your wording was very unclear. She's just trying to be helpful, so try not to get angry at someone for making a VERY easy mistake. She wasn't being a snob.

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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    my husband is fine wth me dancing, its very diffent here in the uk, no touhing, no extras, just air dacing and vip, no tipping on the stage(daning closeley to every guy with a dollar to tip!), he's chinese anyway but he's always thouht its just a job and its safe and legal x

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Quote Originally Posted by Otoki View Post
    Honestly, I thought the same thing she did. Your wording was very unclear. She's just trying to be helpful, so try not to get angry at someone for making a VERY easy mistake. She wasn't being a snob.
    I will call that to my fault, I wasn't angry when I typed that and I didn't mean to make it seem like I called her a snob. I just forgot again that the world isn't like the place I came from. I'm use to people asking hundreds of questions to a simple yes. I'm relearning to be more clear, I taught myself to be "simple" cause of all the questions and not having to repeat myself all the time.

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    My husband doesn't really like that I dance. I make sure to keep being VERY affectionate towards him. He also gets to check my makeup and hair. I don't let him see my outfits unless he asks cuz he would get even more jealous knowing guys are seeing me in such skimpy clothing. We also have sex regularly-never right before a shift, but that morning and later when I get home( can be after I wake up ). It makes him feel more secure.
    This compromise works for us and helps him deal with it. He loves me enough to control himself, so we hardly ever argue about it.
    He loves the $$ and that isn't a problem.

    It sounds like you need to work out some sort of compromise with your guy. Is he worth staying with if he is acting this way towards you? Do you enjoy stripping enough to stay with it? Is stripping a deal breaker for you and your guy?
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Quote Originally Posted by Otoki View Post
    Honestly, I thought the same thing she did. Your wording was very unclear. She's just trying to be helpful, so try not to get angry at someone for making a VERY easy mistake. She wasn't being a snob.
    thank you (end threadjack)
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    My boyfriend HATED it when I first started. But then I started taking him out to eat, buying him new fancy things, and even helping him with HIS bills he doesnt give me alot of shit...and when he does all I say is "Well if you wanna starve than ill quit" and tht usually shuts him up. If your the one paying the most in the relationship he has no right to say anything. Tell him to piss off.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Man...these guys need to wake up and get over themselves! Its just a job. Grow up boys! Thank god my husband doesn't even know the meaning of the word jealousy. I know many offices where a hell of a lot more hanky panky is going on than the strip club!

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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    My bf definitely was not stoked about it at first. In theory he's very open-minded about the sex industry but I think he was just scared about being with someone involved in it. He's gotten better and more supportive though. I think slowly getting to the point where you can talk about it openly, honestly and casually (just like he talks about HIS job) will improve things. I got into the habit of talking about it in that way to our roommates as well, so it seems less like some sort of shameful secret and more like a legitimate entertainment job, thus lessening the fear and stigma.

    Since my bf works during the day near our house and I work at night I like to take him out to lunch on his break sometimes- it gives us a way to spend some nice time together plus he gets a yummy free meal from someone who loves him, which helps him out cuz he doesnt make a ton of money at his job.

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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    it seems like your bf wants nothing to do with it. this s how i deal with that.

    i dont tell how much i made or what outfits i wear. instead, i get seperate outfits just for him. its important to let him know that its just a job and its just money. even if you love your job, dont let him feel like your choosing it over him. i leave work at work.

    you should talk to him abt it. ask what would make him feel better abt you doing it. maybe he is scared for your savety. then take him to meet the bouncers. just ask him.

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    Default Im MOVING TO UK LMAO

    Quote Originally Posted by cashing in View Post
    my husband is fine wth me dancing, its very diffent here in the uk, no touhing, no extras, just air dacing and vip, no tipping on the stage(daning closeley to every guy with a dollar to tip!), he's chinese anyway but he's always thouht its just a job and its safe and legal x
    I wish there were more clubs like this in the USA. I know the main reason why dancing caused probs with my relationship is my guy would be worried about me, constantly. The type of crowd that comes to Vegas often show their ugly side. I would come home with stories about confrontations and one time a customer ripped my panties right off of me. Who's man wouldnt worry about this and pimp-style management. Let's face it we dont get treated the best. I know of NO CLUBS (maybe besides nude ones) that have air/table dances only. IM MOVING TO THE UK J/k (but it is a nice thought)

    I think the bf is a bit jealous. He sees other men find you very attractive, but he must realize we do this for business, not pleasure.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Ugh, I would hate to have to put up with that crap. I don't know you would either need to quit or leave him. Either way, one of you will end up resenting the other. If you keep the job and he just learns to "deal with it" then he is just burying his feelings down inside even though he is not happy with it. If you quit, then you resent him for "making" you quit a job you liked. Either way I don't see this working out or being very healthy for your relationship. If it bothers him to the point where he is yelling at you, then you it will probably be the end of your relationship if you continue to dance. I am soooooo glad my hubby accepts that I dance.
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    First off THANKS to everyone who replied.

    as far as some of your questions go I'll do my best to answer them all.

    #1 My boyfriend came up with the idea of me stripping. HE even went to my audition and was completly happy the first 2 weeks. then he got jealous.

    #2 he doesn't like seeing my outfits, and I dont wear alot of makeup or do my hair fancy for work. I have that whole naturally pretty thing going for me so at least he shouldn't be mad for me looking like someone I'm not.

    #3 I'm the ONLY one who pays the bills. he doesn't. Rent is $700/mo + utl which are around $150. He doesn't ahve a car. So I pay for gas when he needs to get to work. I pay for groceries, food when we go out (if ever) and anything he needs inbetween what he doesn't make at work.

    #4 I'm 21. I dont want to marry for a loong time. and I don't want to marry him. so It's not worth it to quit stripping just because he doesn't like it.

    Lastly, my biggest issue isnt' him yelling (although him degrading me all the time really pisses me off) it's him puttin gholes through doors, walls, and the occasional choking me out when he get drunk/mad enough.

    What can I say to him to 'calm him down'?? to give him another outlook? his biggest thing is that he's the one who told me to do it..he says I've changed and act like i'm too good for him...he says he thinks i'm going to meet someone there and leave him for that guy...

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    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Hmmm, I don't even know where to start. Choking you and breaking things is unacceptable. My boyfriend would get a little ticked off in the beginning when I would come home shitfaced but idont drink now so were fine. Alcohol cancause problems in a lot of peoples lives. Does he drink every day? Why isn't he contributing to the household? Like, where does his money go?

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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Oh hon...... You've got a ton of red flags popping up with this guy here. He damages walls and chokes you out occassionally when he's angry and or drunk? You say you don't want to be with him forever, so clearly you know yourself.... It really sounds like he's a dead weight that treats you like shit. You don't depend on him for anything, why do you let him say shit like this to you?

    My heart is breaking for you right now. I've been in situations like this before, and I know it's hard because you care about them so much, but....... Honey, please. Think of yourself first, he's showing violent tendencies and he's emotionally abusive. Things are NOT going to get better, and I don't think you're totally happy here.... Now, I am assuming things here, so take it with a grain of salt. I honestly think you should cut your losses with this guy. If you're changing and acting like you're 'too good' for him, it's because YOU ARE.

    I don't think it's right for ANYONE to be with someone that acts the way he does. Stripping or not. How long until he graduates from putting holes in a wall and choking you out until you end up having the shit beat out of you, or worse? This guy is TOXIC, run run run as fast as you can. It doesn't matter if he lives with you, boot his ass out. He's mooching off of you, and he's got some scary red flags about abuse popping up.... Better now than later, after something bad happens.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Deadly : This is the 3rd or 4th post I've read on this board about men who are not paying their share of the bills. How can you possibly be attracted to someone like this? I just don't know how girls do this . So I guess I'm asking ( in a nice way ) ..... how on earth does your attraction for this guy stay strong when you can't even do something so BASIC as being productive and earning money ? Oh wait ..... I re-read things............ he does work. Why can't he split the bills with you then ?

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Quote Originally Posted by DeadlyDestiny View Post
    Lastly, my biggest issue isnt' him yelling (although him degrading me all the time really pisses me off) it's him puttin gholes through doors, walls, and the occasional choking me out when he get drunk/mad enough.

    What can I say to him to 'calm him down'?? to give him another outlook? his biggest thing is that he's the one who told me to do it..he says I've changed and act like i'm too good for him...he says he thinks i'm going to meet someone there and leave him for that guy...
    girlfriend, you got bigger fish to fry than "my bf doesn'y like my dancing" he needs to GO. you deserve better than that.
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Living with a boyfriend while stripping.

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    Deadly : This is the 3rd or 4th post I've read on this board about men who are not paying their share of the bills. How can you possibly be attracted to someone like this? I just don't know how girls do this . So I guess I'm asking ( in a nice way ) ..... how on earth does your attraction for this guy stay strong when you can't even do something so BASIC as being productive and earning money ? Oh wait ..... I re-read things............ he does work. Why can't he split the bills with you then ?
    I was wondering the same thing myself.

    I was also wondering why she finds someone attractive when they think choking her is appropriate. Drunk or not, that fucker should be in jail for assault. Fuck that.

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