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Thread: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

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    Default Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Hi,

    I've been a member of these boards for about 3 years. I'm not really known here for I kept my activity down to an observer status while chirping in here and there. 'I remember a few years ago i came to this message board because I was curious about dancing. I'm still young and feel as if i'm already a veteran stripper in my own right. Of course I have nothing on the girls who have made careers out of this and have been working for 10 years+. But for the girls who aren't trying to make it a career (the dance through college or just to make some money), I feel as if I've been through it all.

    There are times when I felt as if I could do this forever. There are times I cried and wanted to die. In the long run do I regret it? No. My only regret is not taking advantage of it fully while I had my 3 year run.

    I started at a club with about 50-70 girls a weekend night. I walked in there at 19 years old, 90 lbs, flat, bra and underwear, tomboy, and definitely naive. Within 6 months I was one of the top girls. I did a complete physical transformation. Purposely gained about 30 lbs, got some curves, bought some boobs, went blonde, tan, and just became stripperfied. But I didn't realize that I was changing on the inside. After a year it was starting to lose it glam. I was still making money but it was getting harder with all the new girls. I was getting tired. Jaded, didn't want to go out there and even try to hustle. Lapping was boring. So a few of the girls turned me to prescription drugs. I started using painkillers to make it more fun. It was fun. But the habit increased and started to not be fun anymore. Long story short, i sobered up...went back to work and realized I can't do this anymore. Not sober at least. Being there was a trigger for me. I just didn't enjoy it anymore. So I'm done. You will not see a, I"M COMING BACK! thread unless I ever am homeless or have kids and they're starving. This I know more than anything else right now.

    So what's the point of this thread? I just wanted to share my experience of being in the industry and offer you young buck's my own personal farewell advice. Please take it as you will, but just know being a dancer has affected my life tremendously and I only want the best for you.


    Don't forget who you are. Try to separate your own persona with your dancer persona. I worked a lot and started only hanging out with my clique from work. Therefore I was always my dancer persona, which is like the real more, but more amped up, catty, bitchy, scandalous, and wild. And don't say maybe you're just a bitch, but becoming a dancer can make turn you into a mean, greedy, selfish person. I know this. I was "stripper", super stripper. Lived and breathe it. yeah it's cool when you can hustle other things in life like a free oil change, or flirting your way outta a cab ride..etc. But when it comes to hurting other people to get what you want, or sacrificing your morals to get what you want, please don't. It's not worth the emptiness you'll feel inside when you get it. My views of the world changed, the way I act change, my morals, ethics. I hope you guys are stronger than me and dont succumb to the temptations that surround being a stripper.


    If you need to do drugs or be drunk to be a stripper, you're not cut out to be a stripper. If you can't do it sober, then don't do it. Not saying for those girls who drink at work. But if you need to drink or do drugs because you know you wouldn't be able to make it through the day, dancing is not for you.


    SAVE YOUR MONEY! SAVE YOUR MONEY! SAVE YOUR MONEY!
    Yeah I became one of the top girls quick, but it's always going to be a decline in earnings as time goes by. I am leaving this club with 0 dollars to my name. I didn't save when I was doing good because I had the, oh i'll just buy it and make the money back at work. Well soon you do that for everything you want to buy, and soon you can't start making all the money back. My biggest regret is that I didn't save. I so fucking bad wanted to leave the industry with at least 6 figures in my savings account so I could laugh at everyone who talked shit about me being a dancer while I retired at age 35. Nope, lotta the money I made went to drugs and partying. I'm not even going to lie. Nothing to show for it but a pair of boobs, a room full of clothes and junk, and a whole lotta issues.



    If you don't want to do it, don't.


    If you do want to, do it.


    You're beautiful no matter what anyone says. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


    It's a JOB, not party time every night.


    If you're tired, keep going. There's always more money to make.


    Try to stay out of club politics. My group was very cliquey. we got our way with management. Picked on new girls and got them fired if we didn't like them. We were just mean and nasty. You may feel like you're untouchable, can do whatever you want, are the queen of the club...but you're not. For every one of you they fire, they can hire 5 more not so great girls to make up the money that the club would lose when losing you. You are replaceable.


    Have fun.


    Don't feel loyal to just one club if you're not happy. I stayed at my first and only club for 3 years. I was unhappy probably half the time. I KNOW I could have made more if I went to other clubs but felt a sense of loyalty to my manager, my friends, everyone. But trust me. There is no reason to feel loyal. The main reason they don't want you to goto other clubs is pretty much that's less money for them. thats it. Don't let mgmt treat you like crap. You don't work in some 1970's, pimp-n-ho, back alley, type of environment. You have rights.


    Don't lose touch with your real life. All my friends became strippers, bouncers, and just other people involved in the industry. I could relate to them, I could network and get further through them, they understood how annoying it was to sit and listen to "normal" people's problems cuz they seemed so minute compared to yours.. I pretty much lost my social life. You leave a club and ofcourse you'll keep in touch, but not really. You've lost touch with your real life friends because you pretty much pushed them away. It's weird. It's like you got to start over again when you quit dancing. Rejoin society? I don't know lol.


    Okay, I guess that's enough. There's enough great advice all over these boards. I think dancing offered great opportunities for me. I just didn't take them all and got lost in the glitz and glam of the industry. What's next for xfatrabbitx? Well, i'm not entirely leaving the industry. I know yeah yeah. But hey, the job market is tough. I have half a degree, no experience in anything, and a 3 year gap in my resume for my work history. So I applied for a waitress position at an upscale club and already know in my heart I'm done dancing. I just knew the only place that I could get a job, no bullshit, hired on the spot for looks, and making money quick was a strip club. So i'll take baby steps, finish my degree, and then figure my next move there. I'm so sad to leave this part of my life, but so happy at the same time. Thanks for everything girls. and Good luck to all you newbies.
    Last edited by xfatrabbitx; 12-02-2011 at 03:21 AM.


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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    omg, thats long as shit, sorry

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Thank you for takeing the time to post this I am far from a newb but there is great adivice in there a lot of newbs should read. The only thing i will add is for the newbs to rember is that NOONE in the club is your friend i mean noone no matter how nice they are the will cut your throat in a secound i just can't say this enough.

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    Veteran Member Rayna Skye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Man i skimmed throught that and I thank you for the post. I know it will really help someone out.
    I started skimming towards the end. It's like 6 am here and I haven't been to sleep yet. I'll read it full out in 8 hours.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Definetly some good advice there, especially the part about SAVING your money. That attitude of 'Ill just make it back tomorrow night" can follow you even when you do quit. Only then, it will be, Ill just go back to club for a week and pay off that credit card debt". It's a horrible cycle. I have seen too many girls succumb to that.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Quote Originally Posted by xfatrabbitx View Post
    If you need to do drugs or be drunk to be a stripper, you're not cut out to be a stripper. If you can't do it sober, then don't do it. Not saying for those girls who drink at work. But if you need to drink or do drugs because you know you wouldn't be able to make it through the day, dancing is not for you.
    I've said this too many times to count! Good post!
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Thank you for your honest perspective and helpful words.

    I'm definitely not a newbie either but your advice serves as a reminder for me as to why I started doing this and who I really am (w/out the makeup, big hair, tall shoes, and stack of cash at the end of a good night); it's always nice to reflect on that but I don't as often as I probably should.

    I'd just like to add one more thing to your list of "what you have to show" for your years in the biz. (I'm assuming) you have a different level of empathy for others than most people in this world do. In this business, you deal with people from every sector of society and you see their vulnerabilities. Yes, me may exploit those sometimes but I'm sure you were a kind ear to someone (be it a customer or a fellow dancer) when they needed it at some point; you may have even given great advice (as you are now) to someone without even realizing the impact you were making.

    You also have strength and courage to have made a decision to do what you wanted to do (dance) when society tells us over and over again that it makes us lower than just about everyone else. You probably lost a lot of relationships in the course of your dancing career but you owned, and still own, your decision to stick with your decision. I believe that deserves respect.

    Anyway, I've written more than I expected to. I just wanted to say that your post has been a bright spot in my day and I hope others, especially the newer dancers, take your advice to heart; I am.

    Take care and good luck in your future endeavors!

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Great advice! I haven't worked a ton ( even though I've been a stripper for a year ), so I didn't feel the negatives as acutely as you have, but that's great advice. You aren't the only one using drugs to get through work. I have acquaintences with really boring jobs who report seeing coworkers high ( smoking weed or worse ) on the job. You shouldn't do any type of work where you need to numb yourself out - it's not just strippers who do this. People feel stuck and medicate themselves in other jobs too.

    Thanks for sharing.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    This is an awesome post! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is hard, really really hard to be a stripper, and so many people just don't realize how difficult the work is.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Yes, thank you for sharing that! I've only started dancing, off and on, and its caused some drama with the relationships in my life. I definitely have a "stripper" persona and then regular me. Its funny though how it affects different people. At the end of the night, all I want to do is soak my feet, shower, and curl up in bed. I definitely am not horny or turned on. Its the opposite for my best friend. She gets all riled up and ready to party! Anyways, thank you again for your advice.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Wow...I admire you for being so honest and brave enough to share such personal information with all of us. Such posts can seriously affect newbies (and others') outlooks on the business. Incredibly helpful reminders/insights.

    The biggest lessons--remember to save AND to be humble. Our lives may look exciting and glamorous from the outside, and getting told that constantly can make our heads big. However, we need to remember where we came from.

    The best way (in my opinion) to avoid changing in this business is to keep family/friends close who knew you before you started working. And if they start telling you something is wrong/that you've changed/ etc., this is the best indicator that the job is wearing on you.

    Thank you, xfatrabbitx.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    When I read the title of your post and the first several words, I was like "oh no, this is totally gonna scare me away" because I haven't started dancing yet. But I was totally wrong. I'm sooo glad you shared that. Seriously, I mean reading this post will literally make a difference in my life, maybe a big one. So I just wanted you to know that.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    this is exactly how i feel! i could have written this...although ive only been dancing for half as long, i still need to push thru for a couple more months at least...and adderall instead of the prescription painkillers.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    so dont do as you do, do as you say?

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Wow,

    Thank you guys. I didn't think anyone would really pay attention to another i'm retiring thread, but i'm glad that I actually helped some people. It really feels rewarding to know that i've helped get a few newcomers through the door on the right foot. And honored to have a few veteran girls thank me too. Best of luck you guys. =)

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    I love love LOVE this post! I've been feeling very introspective about dancing recently, since another member posted about retiring due to unhappiness and I realized that while I do still want this job, I empathized with a lot of what she said.

    There is definitely a lot of things that come with a job that you don't see until you've got some stripping time behind you, and no matter how much you read about them, its hard to understand until you get there. There's definitely times I find myself putting my stripper life before my real life, and when I catch myself doing it, it freaks me out. I'm not a career stripper and I don't want to lose who I am in favor of my stripper persona.

    And the saving money part - ARGH!! I've been stripping for a year and I have nothing to show for it - when I did my taxes in April and say what I'd made Vs what I still have, I cried. I'm starting afresh with that, saving my money, rading Dollar Den and keeping tabs on what I buy.

    Anyhoo.... thanks for the great post, and I hope life goes well for you Rabbit!


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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    I totally relate to everything you're saying and I'm glad you made this post. Especially the saving money part, so many girls are bad about that. I know I was and I regret it so much. I am also just entering the "normal job" world, though not of my own choice, and it's pretty strange. Especially because I moved back to my home town where everyone knew me before I left and started dancing.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Great post...I took a couple years off to go to a "real job" that I hated. After getting laid off around Christmas, I finally talked myself into dancing again, but it took me a good 6 months before I took the plunge. I remembered how hard it was and wanted to make sure I was ready mentally for the challenges it brings.

    Along with the drugs and drinking bit, don't forget to take care of your body in general...be careful doing pole tricks or floor work...while it's great cardio, your knees will take a beating. You may have a nice retirement, but if it even hurts to walk, that sucks too...lol.

    Also, what you said about the 3 year gap in work history...never underestimate the power of a crappy part time job. Even if it's at a bar as a cocktail waitress 1-2 days a week or running a cash register at the grocery store...hold little jobs like that that won't take up a ton of time in addition to your dancing...this way you always have declared income in the eyes of the IRS and you have something to add to your resume if any questions come up by potential employers.

    Again, great post...thank you. It's always good to hear straight talk about this job. I wish more people that were skeptical of what we do could see stuff like this. I think sometimes they forget that we are real people instead of just sexy robots...lol.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    One of the best posts I've ever read. So true and definitely something newbies need to know. I especially like the part where you mention about having a real life and I always stress this to anyone wanting to become a dancer. I've always been on the mindset that dancing should be separate from anything else. When I walked in the club I became my wild persona. When I walked out I became very quiet again. I rarely became friends with anyone I worked with, though I was friendly with most people I worked with. Also strongly agree about the drinking/drugs comment as well. Never got involved with that, but knew many who did. It ruined their lives.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Well, you started out really Tiny, and I'm trying to loose about 50 lbs!!! LOL


    Seems now that stripping has gone mainstream more strippers are talking about the tole it has had on their lives ( both positive and negative). I want to thank you for that.
    I read the importance of saving everything, treat it as a job and not a social experience, and only work in places where you feel good about yourself ( otherwise work will be hell).

    I realized I had to create my own boundaries in this business if I wanted to keep my sanity, such as making sure I have a career ( and my degrees) outside of stripping and have my own independent life ( my own car, place, etc). NOT drinking alcohol or taking substances, growing a strong backbone. Learn to turn down anyone, but also persuade anyone. I think a good stripper doesn't have to sell intercourse, mostly a good visual view ( which means limited prostitution work).


    I only want to strip part-time as a way to build an emergency fund and pay down debts anyway.

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    Hey, it was good to see that someone has a few of the issues I have had too... especially with the painkillers, I am still on/off of them and I know how amazing it can feel to be on... but its a fake happiness. I am just glad to see an honest, to the point statement on here to show that this job isn't as glam as it seems on the surface. Hugs
    add me on twitter: kyrahfoxx

    r.i.p cunto couture, you were dead before you even began. figs.

    and go vancouver vixens. har har

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    Default Re: Hanging up my shoes, new girls read please

    3 months clean baby.. =)

    i'm JUST now starting to feel semi-normal..but it gets easier and easier everyday

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