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Thread: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

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    Default How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Last night I had a guy who did a lapdance for the first time in his life (also his first SC experience as well), at the end he told me that it was "hollow" and "beautifully artificial", and that I am beautiful and a beautiful person, and good luck in life. Later on I kept thinking about that and made me feel really bad, I didnt know what to say, what would you say if someone said that to you?
    Also, I had a reg who brought in his gf and she was telling me that "there must be more to you", and just generally criticizing me and ripping me a second asshole. What do I say? I didn't want to be rude, cuz if they weren't customers I'd totally bitch out. I should have said no, there is nothing more to me, this is all it.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    /shrug

    Most of the people providing services wouldn't do it if it wasn't for the pay. Is it artificial that they put on a >> << face while on the job? It goes hand in hand with paying for something that the other person's enthusiasm is probably not going to be especially sincere.

    We're not here to make everyone else happy all the time. He chose to try the SC. Surprise surprise... it is not a fulfilling and deeply meaningful human interaction like an unpaid for relationship could be. He shouldn't go again if that is what he is looking for. Like if what he really wants is a home cooked meal with all of the sincerity, well, there is no restaurant in the world that can provide that.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    he told me that it was "hollow" and "beautifully artificial",
    ...those are his feelings not yours. Let him stay confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    "there must be more to you", and just generally criticizing me and ripping me a second asshole. What do I say?
    ...say you want to be more like her but you'd have to learn to unfairly judge stereotypes first and speak thru the second asshole she just ripped you.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    The first customer obviously had no idea how to enjoy a lap dance. If he was expecting to feel genuine affection or a deep and meaningful connection, a strip club is not the place for him.

    You don't have to tolerate verbal abuse from a customer in the club. Do turn bitch on a customer that decides to rips you a new asshole. There is no reason for her to get even one second of your time if she is going to treat you like dirt. Smile at her and say, "Well, this conversation is charming and all, but I've got to go make a couple of hundred off that guy over there. Ta-ta!"


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    Last night I had a guy who did a lapdance for the first time in his life (also his first SC experience as well), at the end he told me that it was "hollow" and "beautifully artificial", and that I am beautiful and a beautiful person, and good luck in life. Later on I kept thinking about that and made me feel really bad, I didnt know what to say, what would you say if someone said that to you?
    Also, I had a reg who brought in his gf and she was telling me that "there must be more to you", and just generally criticizing me and ripping me a second asshole. What do I say? I didn't want to be rude, cuz if they weren't customers I'd totally bitch out. I should have said no, there is nothing more to me, this is all it.
    People can come and say anything they want to say. Do not let it get to you.

    Love cannot be bought and it certainly does not manifest itself as a lap dance. So, it was childish for that PL to expect something deeper. I never had a lap dance and I do not need a lap dance to know that it is not for me unless it is given to me by someone who adores me.

    I would like to highlight the distinction between going to a SC with an expectation to receive love during a lap dance session AND wanting to win the heart and mind of a stripper like yours truly is attempting to do.

    On a separate note, I am sure there is a lot more to you than the actress (borrowing the term from JayATee) one sees in the club.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    /shrug

    Most of the people providing services wouldn't do it if it wasn't for the pay. Is it artificial that they put on a >> << face while on the job? It goes hand in hand with paying for something that the other person's enthusiasm is probably not going to be especially sincere.

    We're not here to make everyone else happy all the time. He chose to try the SC. Surprise surprise... it is not a fulfilling and deeply meaningful human interaction like an unpaid for relationship could be. He shouldn't go again if that is what he is looking for. Like if what he really wants is a home cooked meal with all of the sincerity, well, there is no restaurant in the world that can provide that.
    I, of course, completely disagree. I firmly believe that men ultimately pay for any relations with women. In the club the core of this reality is exposed, which is why the OP's customer was shocked and made those comments. So the OP could say it's no more hollow than most relationships.

    In denial about this fact? I dare any married man to announce to his wife that he's quitting his job to spend more time with his kids and be a great dad and that she should be the provider for the family.

    The woman on the other hand is very aware of this fact. Since you said gf and not fiance, I assume she hasn't coerced a ring from her man yet, which means you are competition. IOW, her man is spending money on you that he could be spending on her. Also, the OP probably made her feel very insecure thus felt that she had to cut the OP down. So the OP could respond is simular passive agressive fashion. OP should let her know she's an ugly pig in a polite way. Hell she could totally ignore her and just fawn over her man, she'd probaby storm out the club. LOL

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Strip clubs are full of White Knights and arrogant, judgemental misogynists (often the same guy by the way). Guys who think they have you all figured out based on the job you do or guys who want to try and save you from yourself . Just get as much of their money as you can and then ignore them. If you can get up in the morning, look in the mirror and like what you see that is all that matters.
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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by commanderadama View Post
    I, of course, completely disagree. I firmly believe that men ultimately pay for any relations with women.
    That's because you are a misogynist. Really, what women would want to be with someone who spouts this kind of garbage about them? Of course you have to pay.

    OP, when dudes say shit about us being fake at work, I always take it not as an insult, but as an attempt to let me know that he's perceptive and not a sucker. It's pretty pathetic and it should make you feel sorry for him, not for yourself.
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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by commanderadama View Post
    I, of course, completely disagree. I firmly believe that men ultimately pay for any relations with women. In the club the core of this reality is exposed, which is why the OP's customer was shocked and made those comments. So the OP could say it's no more hollow than most relationships.

    In denial about this fact? I dare any married man to announce to his wife that he's quitting his job to spend more time with his kids and be a great dad and that she should be the provider for the family. ... LOL
    I think you think that you've outwitted everyone by seeing women have wants that go beyond some child-like romantic notion of just wanting a guy for love and sex, no matter how much baggage he is otherwise.

    But eventually your own shock will wear off, and you'll realize it really has not been women promoting this fantasy, it has been us guys who basically want to have our cake and eat it too.

    Though I suppose if she is young and immature enough, or you are hot enough, you might find a woman who will sleep with you, love you, and not mind a man who is otherwise just baggage in life. But yea. Neither lasts though. Hotness fades, and the immature infatuation grows old soon enough. Eventually every woman in that situation would wake up and realize a loser for being a loser. Most men in their shoes would too, but I suppose there are some guys who really just want to be married a living real doll. As long as doesn't cost too much to feed her. We also refers to guys like that as losers. Just saying.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    When they get really bad about it and won't stop (I usually try to redirect the conversation first) I say something like "People who analyze and judge others are usually too afraid to look inward." I'm also a fan of "I find it offensive that we're only known enough X amount of time and you insist you know me well enough to analyze my life".

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    The gf of ur customer was jealous of you, he shouldn't have brought her there. The first customer is a moron and said that to hurt you, and he did. Grow some thicker skin because people will say a lot of hurtful things anmd you need to let them roll of your back.
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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    The women is obviously jealous and form what I have read women customers in SC are trouble.

    As for the man he could be telling the truth or he could be a man that does this regularly and knows how to passive aggressively hurt dancers. You should ask him how you could have made the experience better; businesses do customer surveys all of the time. The way he answers you will probably tell you which he is.

    You have to learn to compartmentalize and separate the real you from the club.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    I think you think that you've outwitted everyone by seeing women have wants that go beyond some child-like romantic notion of just wanting a guy for love and sex, no matter how much baggage he is otherwise.
    Kinda, I feel that women in the strip club are no different than women I meet in dance clubs or parties. I enjoy strip clubs because I can get what I want for as long as I want without having to pretend I'm interested in a LTR with her. If I didn't have phobia's I'd be a hobbiest, but STDs are a part of hobbying, I don't have any and don't want any. So when I want to actually have sex with a woman I have to feign interest in a LTR with her. I'm a good actor but one can only act so long. I can usually get rid of them with the "I'm OK with you gaining weight like you're OK with me quitting my job", line. LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    But eventually your own shock will wear off, and you'll realize it really has not been women promoting this fantasy, it has been us guys who basically want to have our cake and eat it too.
    Again, I completely disagree. It is women who want to have their cake and eat it too, literally. Their cognitive dissonance on this subject is the only thing that amazes me. Check out this thread for common hypocrisy on this subject. It's also a great example of consolation man.




    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    Though I suppose if she is young and immature enough, or you are hot enough, you might find a woman who will sleep with you, love you, and not mind a man who is otherwise just baggage in life. But yea. Neither lasts though. Hotness fades, and the immature infatuation grows old soon enough. Eventually every woman in that situation would wake up and realize a loser for being a loser. Most men in their shoes would too, but I suppose there are some guys who really just want to be married a living real doll. As long as doesn't cost too much to feed her. We also refers to guys like that as losers. Just saying.
    So you're defending traditional gender roles? Fine, but I reject them. Women are equal now, so get out there and be equal I say. Also why is a guy in the situation above, where the woman supporting the man, makes the man a loser, but if a man is supporting a woman she's not a loser?

    I think that both non-workers are losers and neither workers (men or women) should put up with a freeloaders. IOW, a non-working SO of either sex is a loser in my book.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by commanderadama View Post
    ...I enjoy strip clubs because I can get what I want for as long as I want without having to pretend I'm interested in a LTR with her.... So when I want to actually have sex with a woman I have to feign interest in a LTR with her. I'm a good actor but one can only act so long. I can usually get rid of them with the "I'm OK with you gaining weight like you're OK with me quitting my job", line. LOL
    You have a bit of a socio-pathic mindset no?. "I want what I want from others and that is my only interest." And that is fine, you basically don't like their company for anything but sex, but some people do actually like the other sex. We find them interesting. We enjoy being around them. We try to factor in their wants intermixed with our wants (aka, non-sociopathic mindset).

    Quote Originally Posted by commanderadama View Post
    Again, I completely disagree. It is women who want to have their cake and eat it too, literally. Their cognitive dissonance on this subject is the only thing that amazes me. Check out this thread for common hypocrisy on this subject. It's also a great example of consolation man.

    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=133733


    So you're defending traditional gender roles? Fine, but I reject them. Women are equal now, so get out there and be equal I say. Also why is a guy in the situation above, where the woman supporting the man, makes the man a loser, but if a man is supporting a woman she's not a loser?
    Evolutionary Psychologists and Socio-Biologists are exploring if gender roles are really just learned, or instinctive, evolved behavior. I'll let them research that. If it turns out the patterns are mostly evolutionary then your complaining about something which is bogus; just finding another excuse not to like women.

    I don't know too many men who want to be stay at home child-rearers, but it happens. If his gf/wife won't accept it then I'd be fine with him trying to find one that does.

    Maybe the problem is you just don't like women, and see them as having no value except for sex?

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post

    Maybe the problem is you just don't like women, and see them as having no value except for sex?
    Of course women have value beyond sex; there is cooking and cleaning.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    Of course women have value beyond sex; there is cooking and cleaning.
    << need a head bang emote

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    Of course women have value beyond sex; there is cooking and cleaning.
    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    << need a head bang emote
    Allow me...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    You have a bit of a socio-pathic mindset no?. "I want what I want from others and that is my only interest." And that is fine, you basically don't like their company for anything but sex, but some people do actually like the other sex. We find them interesting. We enjoy being around them. We try to factor in their wants intermixed with our wants (aka, non-sociopathic mindset).
    No that's not it. IRL I'm quite empathetic and I understand that there are some "good women" out there, sadly they are the exception not the rule.

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    Evolutionary Psychologists and Socio-Biologists are exploring if gender roles are really just learned, or instinctive, evolved behavior. I'll let them research that. If it turns out the patterns are mostly evolutionary then your complaining about something which is bogus; just finding another excuse not to like women.
    That is interesting, what Journals have you read about this in? I have access to them all at work.

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    Maybe the problem is you just don't like women, and see them as having no value except for sex?
    I like some women, for a short period of time. Friends say I just need to meet the right one, I think they're full of shit. I'm 40 and have only met two women that could hold my interest for more than a few months. One turned into a soccer mom (I despise them) and the other is still amazing but has a boyfriend. And there is the rub, lots of competition for the few amazing ones, thus I go to strip clubs and rent hotties.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    ^^^

    Com, perhaps your internet persona and real life one are quite different, but then chances are the same is true of many posting on this site including the women's posts you linked.

    To be honest I really despise sexism. To hate 50% of the other people on this planet, without which none of us would have been born to have these discussions is both ironic and incredibly egotistical (even dangerously so).

    The splitting of the sexes evolved because it works. You don't have to understand why and history is not obligated to provide an explanation to you, but it has worked over and over from the most simplistic insects through the most complex animals. That you are bored with the other half is fine but it doesn't make you a superior person. Indeed primates show little interest in each other except for procreation, after which they tend to settle into roles of child rearers and hunter/gather/protectors. Neato, but we are humans with large brain to body weight ratios. We are capable of rising above primate-like behavior towards each other.

    Yes, you're right. A lot of guys feel the way you do. But you won't get a hand clap from me for "being the least you can be" in life. I hold far more admiration for those who try to understand that the sexes need each other, and don't just exist to be used as tools for our own wants.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    Last night I had a guy who did a lapdance for the first time in his life (also his first SC experience as well), at the end he told me that it was "hollow" and "beautifully artificial", and that I am beautiful and a beautiful person, and good luck in life. Later on I kept thinking about that and made me feel really bad, I didnt know what to say, what would you say if someone said that to you?
    Also, I had a reg who brought in his gf and she was telling me that "there must be more to you", and just generally criticizing me and ripping me a second asshole. What do I say? I didn't want to be rude, cuz if they weren't customers I'd totally bitch out. I should have said no, there is nothing more to me, this is all it.
    You don't have to be rude in order to make her feel like an asshole. Personally I would've told her that I make more money and get more satisfaction from my job than she can ever hope to have. If it makes me a bad person in her eyes than that's her problem and quite frankly, if she has such contempt for strippers she shouldn't be in a SC. Then I would smile my most dazzling smile and walk off to go make my money.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    You don't have to be rude in order to make her feel like an asshole.
    Wow! I feel like I just had a zen moment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyril View Post
    Wow! I feel like I just had a zen moment.

    WTF is your problem????
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by commanderadama View Post
    I, of course, completely disagree. I firmly believe that men ultimately pay for any relations with women.
    By all means, explain this to me without making generalized statements and bringing up sexual stereotypes. Cause I've been in three long term relationships, and two of those relationships involved me supporting my boyfriend, paying for all his shit, paying our rent, utilities, and buying groceries by myself, filling my car with gas by myself (my car; he did not even have a license), cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, ironing, paying HIS cell phone bill (that was when I was still in high school and dating a 26-year-old), putting out, and loving him unconditionally. In return, one of the boyfriends stole a lot of money from me (I'm so in debt now that I had to move back in with my parents), slapped me around and choked me, forcibly took my keys from me on multiple occasions (as well as my cell phone so I couldn't call the cops on him), drove my car illegally (sometimes drunk), and cheated on me with at least five different women.

    Now, of course, I am older, wiser, and more confident in myself and wouldn't tolerate that kind of bullshit for a second. I started stripping long after both of those guys. My last long-term relationship was a healthy, 50/50 relationship, where we split all the bills, plus I did all the cooking and cleaning on my own because I enjoy doing it.

    So explain to me how those first two guys financially "paid" for anything.
    /end threadjack

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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Turn their game around on them:

    "You're absolutely right. Working part time making close to six figures is not very smart. Instead of doing whatever the fuck I want tomorrow like I normally do, I should buy an alarm clock and start looking for a J. O. B."




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    Default Re: How to respond to customers' attacks on what you do for money?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    Last night I had a guy who did a lapdance for the first time in his life (also his first SC experience as well), at the end he told me that it was "hollow" and "beautifully artificial", and that I am beautiful and a beautiful person, and good luck in life. Later on I kept thinking about that and made me feel really bad, I didnt know what to say, what would you say if someone said that to you?
    Also, I had a reg who brought in his gf and she was telling me that "there must be more to you", and just generally criticizing me and ripping me a second asshole. What do I say? I didn't want to be rude, cuz if they weren't customers I'd totally bitch out. I should have said no, there is nothing more to me, this is all it.
    "Think of this as entertainment that I provide for pay. Don't think of this as all I am or believe in. Perhaps you feel that way about your own work too."

    That is not rude or boasting, and it may get their brain to try to figure out what is confusing them. And if it isn't, you are not their psychologist.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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