so, i get home from work today, and go walk my dog.
when i get downstairs, i notice something odd. two people in the hot tub. two people in the hot tub that happen to be fucking like bunnies. now, granted, i've done the hot tub sex thing.... it can be fun, but this is in the middle of a condo complex. so, i very quietly pick up my dogs' poo, bring it over to the garbage can, and get an idea.
here's where the asshole part kicks in. I also have to mention I was, and am, dead sober.
"YEAH DADDY RIDE HER HARD, WOOOHOOO MAKE THAT WATER SPLASH OUT, FUCK HER LIKE THE WORLDS ABOUT TO END, MAKE YOUR OWN WATER JETS, PORK HER PORKER HARDER DADDY HARDER WHOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! GET DIRTY WHEN YOU GET CLEAN!" This all while I'm swinging the bag of poo over my head like a lasso.
I've NEVER seen two people run away naked so fast in my life.
It's really a shame, I was about to grab my crotch and start singing Beat It.



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