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Thread: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

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    Default Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    I have discovered the source of Cyril's imaginary funding, and after some wheeling and dealing, arm twisting and knee breaking, was able to wrangle just over $500 billion in imaginary investment capitol for a new chain of strip clubs to open simultaneously nationwide. Some of this money is in the form of government bailout money, the rest from a private investment consortium. An additional $500 billion is availale in reserve for initial operating costs for the first 18 months if necessary.

    Even More Dreamier Girlier Girls inc., will distinguish itself in the industry in both it's operations and relations with clients, and with employees and dancers; as well as by introducing a completely new, integrated adult entertainment presentation to the public the likes of which have never been seen before.

    The plan at this time is to open facilities in every major population center with over 100,000 people. The clubs will vary in size depending on local population, with a model projecting 10,000 sq ft for every 100,000 people in the area, rounded up. The Los Angeles, CA club will be in the neighborhood of 1,000,000 sq ft., Las Vegas, NV will be slightly smaller at 500,000 sq ft as the heavy tourism and convention traffic is accounted for. The Portland, OR location will also be oversized vs the local population at 500,000 sq ft as we aim to overshadow neighboring Dream Girls (tm).

    The smaller clubs will have at least 4 seperate clubs within each club, each with a main stage and as many satellite stages as the square footage allows. Each area will be themed, Rock, Rap/Hip Hop, Goth/Alternative, and Country. Each area will have it's own DJ and sound system.

    But what will really set this club apart will be the interactive experience. Combining the best aspects of peepshows, showgirls, strip club, streaming video type products, escorts, and legal brothels into a single experience, customers and VIPS will be immersed in titillation as never before possible.

    Central to this project is our ongoing effort to standardize adult entertainment zoning laws, so-called "no touch" and prostitution laws, and other "decency" laws nationwide. $10 billion has been earmarked for this lobby and public campaign and results are expected to be favorable and quick.

    Once these pesky local laws are done away with, the grand opening will expose the public to an adult entertainment universe unlike any porn king has ever imagined. Entertainers designated for the various "levels" of entertainment will be available for order online, by phone, or of course, in person at the local club (or via the online ordering screens at each booth). $140 billion has been earmarked for the creation of Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls Delivery and Transportation Inc, a fleet of private jets, helicopters, semi trucks, delivery vans, buses, cars, and more. In addition to transporting VIP's to the club of their choice and delivering dancers to the clubs to perform, EMDGDGTI will offer traditional airline, bus, and taxi services - all staffed with lovely adult entertainers. EMDGDGTI will also have FedEx(tm)-style delivery services for both our merchandise for order and package delivery and pickup; who wouldn't want a lovely 5'6" blue eyed blonde in a barely-their thong and negligee dropping off their holiday packages?! The additional revenue from these services will likely outpace the clubs themselves, and are an important part of the model.

    Once operations begin, the corporate brand will be licensed for other franchises as well. Fast food and other restaraunts, hiar salons and beaty stops - even gas stations will soon have the EDGDGI logo and identity.

    We look forward to your valued input as we seek to engage the expert opinions available on SW regarding this endeavor. Imaginary stock options and even more imaginary monetary compensation will be offered to those whose feedback results in new product lines, services, or valuable advice.

    Thank you.
    Last edited by Almost Jaded; 07-29-2009 at 10:12 PM.

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    I think you are ignoring an under-appreciated market: Space-the Final Frontier.

    Could you possibly lease a portion of the International Space Station and enter a joint venture with Virgin Galactic for transportation.

    Maybe design a spacesuit for 2 for the ultimate "Space Walk Lap Dance"

    Can you get a friction dance in a gravity free environment?

    At least in space all the non-spending voyuers will be relegated to peering through the Hubble to get their free show.

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    See - now THAT'S the kinda thinking we need here.

    Dirty Ernie just earned himself an imaginary spot on the imaginary board. He get's an imaginary salary of $100 million per year and a 3% stake in teh company for his astounding idea. The existing board was overwhelmed by the foresight he showed and at their own failing to see this incredible opportunity.

    This has also opened up a new funding source, as we've alreasy brought our resources to bear and verified that we can get a dollar-for-dollar match from teh government to launch this concept. Recruitment of buxom beaties interested in becoming astronauts will begin forthwith. Given the knowledge that so many dancers are well educated closet (or not so closet) geniuses, we anticipate ready and exuberant response to this these new positions.

    With the anticipated revenue from near-orbit, lunar and soon to be martian operations, we were able to secure an additional $100 billion to launch this program, matched by the government in anticipation of EDGDGI moving the date up for new lunar exploration by a decade. We are dedicated to seeing the first permanent establishments on the moon and Mars be EDGDGI operations, and have set an aggressive 5 year plan for full implementation.

    With this oversight not to be duplicated, we are also launching EDGDGI Cruise Lines. Details to follow.

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    ...i didn't see any budget for sharks with lasers on their heads. Any chance for that?
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX View Post
    ...i didn't see any budget for sharks with lasers on their heads. Any chance for that?
    idea!
    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    ... The smaller clubs will have at least 4 seperate clubs within each club, each with a main stage and as many satellite stages as the square footage allows. Each area will be themed, Rock, Rap/Hip Hop, Goth/Alternative, and Country. Each area will have it's own DJ and sound system. ...
    Very good. I've had similar ideas as this too. Here's a minor tweak ... who says all of the clubs and facilities have to be under one roof?

    Think of Pleasure Island at WDW in Orlando, or a village retail center concept.

    You have a few main entrances into an enclosed themed area, and each themed club, restaurant, cigar bar, adult store, adult archade, theaters, etc. can be it's own building. Customers can pay a single cover to go into one club/facility, or they can pay a general cover for unlimited access to the entire complex.

    Construction would start with subterranean infrastructure linking all clubs under ground. This way the entire complex can be served through one delivery point, and dancers and staff can move freely from club to club as crowds dictate. A giant dressing room as well as other general offices and support facilities would be under ground.

    Above ground, the layout of the site would be like entering an adult fantasy land. Restaurants and adult shopes would line the perimeter and have direct access from the parking area for those customers who do not wish to venture further into the club/fantasy area. Also those structures would form a natural barrier keeping the rest of the complex hidden from view.

    Within the adult playground open air walkways would run from the various themed clubs. Open areas would have small outdoor bars/lounge areas as well as volleyball courts and BBQ pits for special events and parties. During Mardis Gra the walkways would allow the complex to have it's own little parade with customers able to throw beads down from the rooftop decks.

    Surly with your lobbying efforts and significant imiaginary funding, a complex like this will be able to open in every major metro within the next few weeks.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    As long as we are dreaming big, I think the establismeht would benefit from a kind of facility butler:

    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    This thread is so full of win!!

    I especially love the laser sharks and Tatoo ideas!
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung View Post
    ^^^ Right because instead of just offering helicopter service these clubs will surely want to have their own private air strip,
    Of course it goes without saying that the flights to the facility will be complimentary too high rollers, and that a private fleet of aircraft and crew will be kept on alert during business hours. Oh and of course topless stewardess service is standard on these flights. Just another one of Dreamier Girl's unique signature services.
    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    ... EMDGDGTI will also have FedEx(tm)-style delivery services for both our merchandise for order and package delivery and pickup; who wouldn't want a lovely 5'6" blue eyed blonde in a barely-their thong and negligee dropping off their holiday packages?! The additional revenue from these services will likely outpace the clubs themselves, and are an important part of the model.

    Once operations begin, the corporate brand will be licensed for other franchises as well. Fast food and other restaraunts, hiar salons and beaty stops - even gas stations will soon have the EDGDGI logo and identity. ...
    EMDGDGI Banking and Financial Services will soon be registered, chartered and availble to meet ones personal banking, corportate bankings, investment banking, insurance, risk management, investment, lending and financial needs.

    EMDGDGI Credit and Debit cards will be available with one's personalized picture of their ATF.

    EMDGDGI gift cards and traveler's checks make the perfect gifts for loved ones.

    EMDGDGI will also look into printing it's own currency as management recognizes that US currency will soon be worthless.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    In addition to EMDGDGI Delivery and Travel Services, along with an infusion of new capital from EMDGDGI Bank, we would like to also propose the following ...

    EMDGDGI Pharmaceutical & Personal Health Care centers will take on Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aide, Brooks, etc. Each store will also be staffed with a sexilly attired nurse to proviced basic health care consultations. In addition EMDGDGI Gyms and Spas with operate to provide health and well being services.

    EMDGDGI Personal Maid and Cleaning Service will be launched to provide specialized expert attention to your commercial or residential properties.

    EMDGDGI Staffing Services will be ready and willing to meet your temporary or long term administrative staffing needs.

    EMDGDGI University will also start accepting enrollement for a wide variety of courses for degree qaulification, continuing education or personal skill development. Courses will be availble both online and in the class room. Evening and weekend courses also available.

    EMDGDGI Global Entertainment - publishing, music label and movie distributor publishing EMDGDGI News and EMDGDGI Magazine, providing cable/satellie TV acces, producing EMDGDGI TV, EMDGDGI Filims and EMDGDGI Radio programing, hosting the EMDGDGI Internet, and creating original EMDGDGI programing

    EMDGDGI Vacations - operating EMDGDGI Cruises and EMDGDGI Hotels & Casios around the world!

    EMDGDGI Day Care & Nursing Home Centers ... in line with the company's new philosophy:

    "SERVING OUR CUSTOMERS FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE!"
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    The place needs a gift shop still. Some place where customers can buy souvenir cups, key rings, and of course post cards should customers want to send little message to their friends and family chronicling their visits to Dreamier Girls.
    Last edited by xdamage; 07-30-2009 at 11:04 AM.
    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    It has been decided that the move to access the knowledge and experience of teh SW community has been the best investment of effort expended thus far. Note that many of the ideas expressed thus far are being implemented even as this is written, with major overhauls to many of the designs for the buildings, as well new business opportunities opening left and right.

    The board voted unanimously this morning that while everything previously stated will move forward in the U.S., EMDGDGI will be better served in the long run as independent nation-state. In a move unprecedented in the past but sure to soon be duplicated by Exxon/Mobile and Wal*Mart, EMDGDGI principles met in closed door negotiations with leaders from the U.S., China, the middle east, Russia, Japan, and Nigeria as well as several more independent investors. In a multi-pronged deal, EMDGDGI has purchased the U.S. national debt for pennies on the dollar. As well as obtaining several not yet to be announced benefits for U.S. operations, we were able to acquire Hawaii as part of the deal. The Republic of Dream Girls consitution is being drafted this week, the proposal that "I'm In Love With A Stripper" be the national anthem will soon be made official.

    Note that these new international deals have altered the landscape of the stellar operations somewhat, as the lunar and martian operations will now be settled as official RDG colonies.

    Much more to come, and we hope the same is true of all your fabulous ideas. We hope that the offers available to residents of RDG as well as the declining chance of the U.S.A. to exist at all in the next 15 years will be enough to entice many of you to become our first official citizens.

    Thank you.

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    P.S. - as the details of defensive military assets and strategies are still being worked out, an interim defense force composed of trained sharks with lasers on their heads are patrolling the waters around our new island chain. Please do not attempt to swim past the 3 mile mark until further announcements are made.

    Thank you.

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    lmao here, great thread

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    Thank you for your help thus far. The board is about to engage in a 3 day long summit during which they will be primarily incommunicado. Please keep the ideas coming, as we hope to have TONS of feedback when we sober up! Er - return!

    Have a fun and profitable weekend all you crazy girls you. And guys - don't be stingy. SOMEBODY'S got to be spending money! I'll do my part, you do yours, seeya Monday.

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    One last update. Things moved more quickly than anticipated, and EMDGDGI has taken over the world. Yup - the planet, the moon, and Mars are now run by strippers. And it's a better place for it.

    Once Dream Girls (tm) was shut down, there was really no stopping us... Those world leaders who would have stood in our way were no match for our wonderful entertainers charms.

    Cheers to peace in our solar system, and an end to stereotyping based on careers in the adult industry (since they are all tied to the adult industry now, and people who don't like it live on a reservation in what used to be Qatar, led by Cyril).

    Any additional comments are still welcomed, as there's no perfection in this mortal existance, and we're always looking for ways to improve.

    Thank you.

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX View Post
    ...i didn't see any budget for sharks with lasers on their heads. Any chance for that?
    Of course, silly.

    That's the room they send the customers to when they try to get away without frikkin' paying.

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    Default Re: Project: Even More Dreamier Girlier Dream Girls, Inc.

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung View Post
    in line with the company's new philosophy:

    "SERVING OUR CUSTOMERS FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE!"
    Don't you mean servicing?
    -SG

    Love & Peace (& Doughnuts)

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