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Thread: Bad experience left me scared of the freaks

  1. #1
    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Bad experience left me scared of the freaks

    Earlier this year I made the mistake of dating someone from the club. Not so much a customer, a friend of the owners who would sometimes end up working there for short periods of time. To make a long story short, he ended up being creepy and controlling, and very stalkerish when I ended things. He is no longer allowed in the club when I'm working due to some freaky behavior, but he still tries it and frequently has to be kicked out, which makes me anxious and freaked out all over again.

    So now I'm having a hard time dealing with customers that seem even the slightest bit creepy. And lately I've been getting a lot of the clintelle that tries to date me. I used to be good at the whole "I'd have to get to know you better!" thing. But now I'm actually a little afraid of leading these folks on.

    And it just so happens I have one coming in tonight. The last time he came in, and I told him I couldn't date him because I "just met him!"(after a string of dances) He happily announced that he'd be back on Friday (today) and we'd "get to know eachother better."

    I used to just let customers do this until they got tired of me and moved on, having realized I wouldn't date them. Now, warning bells go off and I worry about someone getting creepy and I just want to avoid these people. But I can't- they're everywhere, and I have to keep selling dances. It's slim enough right now as it is. Anyone have any advice for dealing with my nerves? Any advice on continuing to sell dances to these guys?
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bad experience left me scared of the freaks

    Honestly I know it's a shitty thing to say about people, but you kind of do need to string customers like this along in order to have regulars and keep up your money flow. I can def. relate to having a bad taste in your mouth after a bad experience but what are ya gonna do?
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Veteran Member bluelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bad experience left me scared of the freaks

    I would do what I have to do to feel safe again. If a custy makes me the least bit uncomfortable, I've gotten to the point of just moving on to the next custy. If you don't feel right you won't make the best money you could be making.

    Don't lead them on, just say you don't date guys there, and change the convo. If the keep insisting, they're a waste of time anyway, move on.

    Sooner or later you will feel more like yourself again. And that assertiveness you get is gonna make you feel empowered. You'll be on top of your shit again. Give yourself time babe.

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bad experience left me scared of the freaks

    I definitely disagree about leading customers on. Don't do it. If it means fewer regulars, fine. Your safety is more important than money. A good regular is someone who likes you because of you (married, boyfriend, whatever), not because they think they'll be able to fuck you.

    If you're getting alarm bells, trust them and just be kind but honest: I don't date customers, because I've been burned before. IT'S TRUE, and they'll know it's not them, it's your rule.

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    Default Re: Bad experience left me scared of the freaks

    I agree sometimes it is definately NOT worth stringing them along. Then they get fucked up ideas in their heads if you do so, may think there is a future with you and once they find out there isn't, they go beserk. I know camland is different, but I had a horrible incident happen lately with one of my cam customers. I didnt lead him on too much, never said I would meet him, but I did tell him I had feelings for him. This guy used to pay me alot of money a month but unfotunately I had to let him go. One day he was broke, couldnt afford shows, and when I said I could not give him a free show, he decided to take his anger out on me. He threatened me, my work, even said he Knew where I lived and to watch my back!!! etc. If you want to play with someones heart you better be prepared to deal with the consequences (if you break their heart). I know alot of regs have the idea in their head that if they see you long enough, they will eventually get to a friendship level and further. Unfortunately as someone else put it all regulars have a shelf life. It is great to have regulars, but you must draw the line somewhere. I am kinda glad I live in Vegas and do not have to deal with regulars too much.

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    Default Re: Bad experience left me scared of the freaks

    Quote Originally Posted by Otoki View Post
    I definitely disagree about leading customers on. Don't do it. If it means fewer regulars, fine. Your safety is more important than money. A good regular is someone who likes you because of you (married, boyfriend, whatever), not because they think they'll be able to fuck you.

    If you're getting alarm bells, trust them and just be kind but honest: I don't date customers, because I've been burned before. IT'S TRUE, and they'll know it's not them, it's your rule.
    I totally agree with this. A good reg will not want to step over your personal boundries and limits. They understand your relationship will be a club only relationship. If you draw the line and they try to cross over that line, they always will and will not make a good reg.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bad experience left me scared of the freaks

    Quote Originally Posted by Otoki View Post
    I definitely disagree about leading customers on. Don't do it. If it means fewer regulars, fine. Your safety is more important than money. A good regular is someone who likes you because of you (married, boyfriend, whatever), not because they think they'll be able to fuck you.

    If you're getting alarm bells, trust them and just be kind but honest: I don't date customers, because I've been burned before. IT'S TRUE, and they'll know it's not them, it's your rule.
    This is pretty much how I feel. I don't lead customers on, I don't date them, I've met a whopping total of 1 OTC (and my boyfriend has met him). I don't judge other girls who chose to do things differently, it's just not how I'm comfortable working.

    All of that being said, EVERYONE eventually gets a creepy/stalkery regular. Even if you are 100% up front and honest about your stance on the relationship going anywhere OTC, you'll still get one here and there. I once had a customer "turn on me" after a good 6 months of being a decent regular. He suddenly became a game playing, super jealous, and handsy asshole. He's actually the reason I almost never give out my phone number anymore. I started getting really snarky messages and texts from him. When I decided to completely ignore his calls and visits (I'd ignore him in the club) it got worse.. for awhile.

    I have 2 customers who can contact me by phone right now. That's it. I knew both for over 6 months before they got my number.

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