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Thread: Police on my phone

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    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Police on my phone

    So, I know I indulge my little sister a bit too much. She's 14 (thinks she's 20). She just called me at 12:15 p.m. and said " I have a problem, I'm at a party and the cops came and told me to call my parents, they said I could call you." So I got on the phone with the cop and convinced him to release her. I can't go get her as she lives near Tampa and I'm not going to drive 4 hours to pick her up but told them I was going to tell our Dad in the morning. I won't tell on her as long as she gets home Ok as she was only drinking beer, isn't drunk and didn't have any drugs on her ( I know she's a little young to be drinking beer but, it's not the end of the world). Am I an asshole or did I do the right thing?
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    wow momma, I have a fifteen year old sister, and if I got that phone call, I would have told the cops to let her spend the night in jail. I am a mean big sister though. It depends on your sister, I was really wild and bad so I have a zero tolerance policy for shenanigans.
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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    BTW, I'm not saying your sister is bad, I just know how I was at that age, if it was a one time fluke thing, then it would be cool and let it slide and not tell your parents.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
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    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    She wasn't drunk, I talked to her. I'm mad but she doesn't talk to her Mom (diff. Mom than me) and my (our) father is clueless, so I don't want her to cut me off too as I'm the only one that can relate to her. Honestly, J.D. I'm glad you said that because I feel like I didn't do the right thing. I just know that if she gets arrested she'll have real problems. Right now she's dual enrolled in HS and community college and she has a job so I feel like she's on the right track somewhat.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    Quote Originally Posted by Gia2608 View Post
    So, I know I indulge my little sister a bit too much. She's 14 (thinks she's 20). She just called me at 12:15 p.m. and said " I have a problem, I'm at a party and the cops came and told me to call my parents, they said I could call you." So I got on the phone with the cop and convinced him to release her. I can't go get her as she lives near Tampa and I'm not going to drive 4 hours to pick her up but told them I was going to tell our Dad in the morning. I won't tell on her as long as she gets home Ok as she was only drinking beer, isn't drunk and didn't have any drugs on her ( I know she's a little young to be drinking beer but, it's not the end of the world). Am I an asshole or did I do the right thing?
    A tip from a big sister.. Don't ever do that again.. My sis is four years younger than me and has been in trouble with everyone since she was 10.. I helpped her once and it ended up with eight years of getting calls in the middle of the night from cops.. They know my number better than the parents or gma.. I stopped helpping her a long time ago cause she started showing no respect to me or to herself... She was brought home by the cops once for drugs and while I was trying to convince them to not take her in she was cussing at me in front of them.. The only reason I got her out of it was threating her to the point she shut up..

    You say its not the end of the world for her drinking beer but it could be... She could get knocked up, drugged, raped, harmed, or muled.. I say even thought people say they can't all end up the same don't let her become like my sis.. first it could be beer but it could go worse..

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    OTOH when I was 15 I got so drunk I threw up at a party and embarrassed the hell out of myself. OK, one year older and a guy, so much less likely to be raped etc. Maybe it's different.

    But still they do tend to experiment with trouble at age 13-17 or even older. if she wasn't drunk or intoxicated it doesn't sound so bad to me, and 12:15 isn't all that late (OK maybe for a 14 year old I dunno).

    Hell in Daytona half the 14 year old girls are smoking crack and dispensing BJs like candy, it seems. I wouldn't raise a dog in that town.

    I'd say maybe you did the right thing but sit down and talk with her and see where she's headed with this.
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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    Apologies, but a quick point of clarification: Did the police release her after your call, or did they have to hold her until someone arrived to pick her up? If they released her, where did she spend the night, her friend's place?

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Gia, I don't disagree with what you did. You were looking out for your loved one, and I would have done the same thing. It's cool that she knows someone will be there for her. We should all be so lucky; however, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't learn our lesson.

    She should not think that just because you helped her avoid a night in jail that her crime has gone unpunished. She owes you, and big time. In exchange for your help and for not telling your parents you should give her a bunch of chores and tasks to do - ideally something that would take up an entire Saturday. Hopefully she'll appreciate knowing her sister was there for her, and understand that a little tough love from her sister is much better than the alternative.

    Best of luck!
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    I think you did the right thing. I don't think it was that big of a deal that she was at a drinking party- as long as she behaved responsibly and was safe. I cover for my little brother- thats what big sisters are for. I'd have a talk with her afterwards and make sure she knows to keep being safe, and that she's not into hanging out w a bad crowd or smthg, but otherwise i'd let it go. I think you'd have more influence on her as a confidante than an authority figure
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    as a one-time, first-time occurance, I think you did the right thing. However, is the type of behavior continues, then it is time to intervene and put a stop to it-let her spend a night in jail. Did you make it clear to her this type of behavior is not acceptable? If you haven't I would do so asap. Otherwise, she might consider continueing to go down a bad path and think you will still help her.
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung View Post
    Apologies, but a quick point of clarification: Did the police release her after your call, or did they have to hold her until someone arrived to pick her up? If they released her, where did she spend the night, her friend's place?

    Best of luck!
    She went home. It wasn't that late so I'm sure no one figured anything was up. I appreciate everyones's input. I will let her know this was a one time "get out of jail free card" and that she can't count on me to bail her out everytime. I should have also mentioned earlier that she is going to 15 in two weeks, so kids will be kids.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    I think you did the right thing, Im sure she was scared..


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    Member Daisy82's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    I agree completely with you telling her that was her one time "get out of jail free" card. My sister was more of a trouble maker than me (she is 3 yrs younger) and i was legit and honest with her, because I still wanted her to turn to me, but I wanted her to know I was not going to cover for her or let her get away with things....

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    Senior Member etru's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    With all respect due to you, what you did was wrong. I am in the legal proffession. There is a certain segment of the population that, once they realize they can get away with whatever they are doing, will continue doing it. Look at Madoff. Under no circumstances back her up again. And “just beer” at her age? Keep your sis on the straight and narrow. Five years from now she will be thanking you. If you continue to bail her out, five years from now she will be cursing you. Best of luck.
    Last edited by etru; 08-03-2009 at 02:25 AM. Reason: typo

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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    as a one-time, first-time occurance, I think you did the right thing. However, is the type of behavior continues, then it is time to intervene and put a stop to it-let her spend a night in jail. Did you make it clear to her this type of behavior is not acceptable? If you haven't I would do so asap. Otherwise, she might consider continueing to go down a bad path and think you will still help her.
    I agree with papillonluvr here.My big sis's daughter went the same way & phoned her big sister most Friday nights when she got drunk in the local clubs.In the end big sis found out what'd been going on & an almighty row happened!
    What was prevelent at the time was the ammount of Roophy that was doing the rounds,90% of it supplied by the Paramilitaries over here to players.Best bet is give her a by-ball this time,after that a no go.

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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    It's something I would've done for my sis, indulgent or not. BUT... I'd be telling her the next time I get a call like that I won't keep it to myself.

    I always give ppl (that I give a shit about anyway) 1 get outta jail free card.
    Last edited by JayATee; 08-03-2009 at 10:32 PM.
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    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    I agree that you shouldn't have let your 14yo sister spend the night in jail. But you also did her a dis-service by not attaching any consequences to her behaviour. Jail is definitely too harsh, and maybe telling your dad wasn't the right answer, but it has to be something. Chores were recommended, having her volunteer is another, paying a "fine" to a charitable cause... nothing mean, but it has to be significant, or there is nothing to discourage her from doing it again.

    You said that drinking at 14 is not the end of the world, but in reality it could be the beginning of the end. If she has addictive tendencies or genes, she could develop and alcohol problem. If she is a follower she could find herself using much worse than alcohol. Someone made a good list of very bad nights above and all of them could happen to a drunk 14yo. You have a responsibility to protect her from herself, just as much as from jail or from your parents, and teaching her that it is "not the end of the world" is taking her behaviour much too lightly. It's a HUGE mistake to be drinking at that age and you need to impress that upon her with consequences that won't haunt her for the rest of her life before she learns on consequences that will.

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    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke View Post
    I agree that you shouldn't have let your 14yo sister spend the night in jail. But you also did her a dis-service by not attaching any consequences to her behaviour. Jail is definitely too harsh, and maybe telling your dad wasn't the right answer, but it has to be something. Chores were recommended, having her volunteer is another, paying a "fine" to a charitable cause... nothing mean, but it has to be significant, or there is nothing to discourage her from doing it again.

    You said that drinking at 14 is not the end of the world, but in reality it could be the beginning of the end. If she has addictive tendencies or genes, she could develop and alcohol problem. If she is a follower she could find herself using much worse than alcohol. Someone made a good list of very bad nights above and all of them could happen to a drunk 14yo. You have a responsibility to protect her from herself, just as much as from jail or from your parents, and teaching her that it is "not the end of the world" is taking her behaviour much too lightly. It's a HUGE mistake to be drinking at that age and you need to impress that upon her with consequences that won't haunt her for the rest of her life before she learns on consequences that will.
    Well she is more 15 than 14 and she def. takes after me in the fact that she is not a follower but leader of her clique (even though she's the youngest). I do appreciate all of the advice from you guys, even if you tell me I did the WRONG thing, I don't have kids and am actually new to being a big sister as I only met her 4 years ago! I def. see what you are saying about some consequences. Next time she comes down here, we'll have a talk. I'm not going to do it over the phone.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Senior Member etru's Avatar
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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    Gia – I like your posts and you seem like a really nice person. We who have posted have had the luxury of reflecting on this issue, a luxury that your did not have. We were not in the heat of the moment as you were. I hope none of us came off harshly. Keep an eye on the kid.

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    Default Re: Police on my phone

    Girl, you know I love ya.... But you need to tell baby sis that next time shit like this goes down, her ass is spending the night in jail. She needs to know she can't rely on you to bail her ass out anytime she gets in trouble. I can appreciate you wanting to be the big sis, but really..... She needs to make sure she has her own ass covered, rather than letting others cover it for her.

    This is EXACTLY what I would do with my lil sisters.

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