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Thread: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

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    Veteran Member ohiogirl26's Avatar
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    Angry Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Ok, so I have already applied at a couple SC's and got shot right down.

    That kinda fucked with my confidence.....SOOO thennnnn......

    My hubby starts his shit with me. The other day I was going to try to have a conversation w/him about auditioning, and he's like..."Oh no, not this stripper bullshit again. I don't know you must have some sort of fantasy of being a stripper. I'm sooo tired of hearing about this shit".

    After he said all that, I told him I'm going to go audition at X, Y, & Z. He responds by saying..."Noone is gonna hire you. You have almost no experience. They want girls that know what they doing. They want girls that look good. Most of those girls are at least 7 or 8's. They don't wanna hire less then that."

    By then, I'm basically holding back tears because it hurt that he thought that lowly of me. So I screamed out...."Bitch I'm not a 7 or 8, I'm more like one fuckin hundred mutha fuc*a"

    He was acting like he thinks I'm like a 2 or 3, which realllllly hurt me. Also, I realized he thinks I'm nuts for wanting to do this.

    The last few nights, he has been throwing in little weight remarks, just to make me feel bad about myself. Tonight he actually called me "fat" & "fat ass".

    My self esteem & confidence is sooooo shot right now, I just feel like a piece of shit. I still want to audition & find a place to work. I know If I can hold my head up high & fake some confidence at first, I will eventually not have to fake it.

    I'm even MORE determined now than I was before to make it. I want to prove my hubby wrong & also I want to get my own esteem (&my own life) back again.

    Thanks for listening....

    right now I hate men. ARRGGG, I just want to get to the SC & take all there fuckin money!
    XoXo


    "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain


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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Why the fuck are you with this guy?

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    Senior Member ChoclatDiva21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    When I told mine I wanted to go back (albeit after almost 20 yrs), the 1st thing he said was I no longer had a dancer's body. I told him I'm sure ppl would rather see me naked than him lol. He than asked me to get naked so he could point out the areas I needed to work on...go figure. Anyway, I told him I really didn't need his advice on my body. I've been exercising & watching what I eat lately, because I know I needed to do that anyway. But you can't let him insult you & make you feel bad (or the club mgrs either). You are beautiful & sexy! Don't forget that. Tell yourself OFTEN & keep pushing!

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    Veteran Member ohiogirl26's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Very good question!! I've been asking myself that for 8 years. He actually is a decent guy most other times...I think he is just pissy about me wanting to dance so bad. When he should be happy I want to talk about it with him. But maybe I'm in a dreamworld. He's just not real thrilled with me being a stripper, & so he will say mean things to me to degrade me.

    Oh tonight, I was ready to pack my shit & go...I was sooooooo PISSED.
    XoXo


    "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain


    "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." Phyllis Diller




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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    whether he disagrees with you stripping or not, that is some fucked up stuff he is saying to you. thats great that you are taking it as motivation to try harder and suceed to prove him wrong. i hope you do pull it off.

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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    Why the fuck are you with this guy?
    Took the words right out of my mouth. Ditch this guy! You deserve a man who loves you and supports you ALL the time.

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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Why do you want to dance? I mean it's terrible right now, you can view on here about countless girls complaining about hardly making $$, going home negative, putting up w/ jerks. Are you doing it to prove something to yourself? If so dancing is not the issue, you need to work on your self esteem, and alot of the times guys at the club aren't boosting your confidence, they can kill it by belittling, etc. And if your vulnerable it's not a good idea to work in a strip club

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    Veteran Member ohiogirl26's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    ^^I want to dance because it's the only thing I have right now that makes me feel free. I love the fact of creating my own schedule around my schoolwork. And all in all, my hubby pays all the bills so anything I can bring in would be a bonus. I want to start setting small goals for myself & meet them....Just to know that I can do it.

    As for the assholes in the clubs, I'm not gonna be phased by them...I really think my skin is thick as shit.....I'm there for me, not those fuckers...I'm just there to get their money.

    I don't know but you guys ever hear about people making you feel so bad & talking shit, that you just want to WORK HARDER & HUSTLE MORE to show them up. That's kinda my attitude right now. I wanna go in, bust some balls, come out with some money & shove it up my hubby's ass. (LOL, ya i'm a little bitter tonight).
    XoXo


    "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain


    "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." Phyllis Diller




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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Maybe I'm in the minority here, but dancing gave me self esteem and confidence. I don't regret it at all, except for the occasional bad experience. But for the most part guys are giving you money to be beautiful and entertain them, whether that means grind cock or shower your with VIP money and gifts. I wouldn't change any decision I've made towards dancing. Lately things are changing for the worse, but keep your head up because I'm noticing they are gradually getting better. It's up to us to set the standards for what is acceptable or unacceptable, and work hard instead of being lazy and bitching. Know that you ARE worth 3-5 hundred dollars an hour in VIP. Hello? A beautiful naked girl on your lap entertaining you for an hour, that's a steal! I understand that sometimes the complete lack of customers makes it impossible to make money, but you have to evolve and roll with the changes. Take a break, take up erotic maid service, camming, or just take a work trip (my favorite thing to do if I'm stuck in a rut)

    As far as your b/f, fuck him. You have to take care of YOU first!
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Senior Member lovelife's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Sounds like your husband is just trying to put u down so that you just give up.. I think that he's afraid that you will get more confidence and self-esteem, make your own money, and then leave him or even find someone else...

    Specially since he pays for everything.. he sounds like he has u under his thumb and he doesn't want to give you up...

    I think you should go for it.. even tho Ohio really does suck (I'm just assuming from your name) for dancing with all of the law changes.. just do it.. maybe you will see just how much of an ass he seems like and start being more self reliant..

    Good luck girl!!

    Ps. Worse comes to worse you could always do camming... it's also set your own schedule and stuff.

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    Veteran Member bella du jour's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Why bother stripping if you don't need to? It's a terrible time to get into the industry, it's obviously not gonna help your relationship any, and all your bills are getting paid! Stripping isn't just about looking pretty and feeling sexy, and it's not a hobby- it's a job like any other job. True, some nights it pays better.

    Don't be fooled by stripperweb, 1 in a hundred strippers are as smart, classy, and clean as the girls that post on these boards. Reality in the club is very different...

    Just my two cents.




    All about my boobs...

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    Senior Member Evan86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by bella du jour View Post
    why bother stripping if you don't need to? It's a terrible time to get into the industry, it's obviously not gonna help your relationship any, and all your bills are getting paid! Stripping isn't just about looking pretty and feeling sexy, and it's not a hobby- it's a job like any other job. True, some nights it pays better.

    Don't be fooled by stripperweb, 1 in a hundred strippers are as smart, classy, and clean as the girls that post on these boards. Reality in the club is very different...

    Just my two cents.
    exactly.

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    Veteran Member ohiogirl26's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Now that I went back & re-read my post about whatever I make is a "bonus"....

    Yeah he does pay all the bills, BUT he holds that over my head alot, so therefore I guess whatever I make I would start to pay down my credit cards or even start paying on some of my school loans. I dunno if I'd consider that a "bonus"....but it is what it is.

    Also, there are times when we are flat broke & have another week before payday again, so any extra cash I'd make would help out in that department too.

    I just wanted to clarify myself, cuz I didn't want to give the wrong impression as if we are so well off...we're not. Bills are paid, yes. Extra money, no.

    I have had many, many "regular" jobs before & hated every single one of them. I hate the routine, boring ol' same shit everyday. That's another reason I wanna work in a club.
    XoXo


    "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain


    "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." Phyllis Diller




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    Senior Member ChoclatDiva21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by bella du jour View Post
    Why bother stripping if you don't need to? It's a terrible time to get into the industry, it's obviously not gonna help your relationship any, and all your bills are getting paid! Stripping isn't just about looking pretty and feeling sexy, and it's not a hobby- it's a job like any other job. True, some nights it pays better.

    Don't be fooled by stripperweb, 1 in a hundred strippers are as smart, classy, and clean as the girls that post on these boards. Reality in the club is very different...

    Just my two cents.
    Mayb she doesn't need the money for bills, but like me, she needs her OWN money. In my case, yes, hubby pays all the bills, but I'm generally SOL if there's something I wanna do that he's not interested in. And we really don't have much of a realtionship anymore. I'm just trying to get a nest egg going for my impending departure from his evil ass. If I were to only clear $50 a night, that would be fine- it's just goin in the bank. So, if that's the case, stripping may not be a bad idea,not if she's not tryin to make LOTS of money right now.

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    Veteran Member ohiogirl26's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    ^^^Yep, anything I'd be making would go towards my bills, then if I had anything left at all, it'd go into the bank. I am not trying to get away from my hubby (yet), I actually would like to help him pay some of our house bills, it'd make me feel more worthwhile & like I was actually contributing. Yes, if I brought home $50 a night, that'd be fine by me

    Choclat--Good luck building your savings & getting out! Sounds like you know exactly what you want & that's an admirable trait!
    XoXo


    "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain


    "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." Phyllis Diller




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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    I agree with Bella DuJour in a way- the reality of stripping is VERY different than what I expected. I've worked in offices, in restaurants, in sales...normal, "straight" jobs where people respect each other for the most part (or at least display professional courtesy to one another)... but this is the first job where I've had to deal with lots of drunk and otherwise intoxicated co-workers, where I've been vomited on, where I've had to worry about crossing the wrong girl and getting my ass beat or my shit stolen, or had customers grab my pussy or smack my ass/touch my breasts without my consent, where I've come home and fallen asleep at 2, 3 or 4 o' clock in the morning reeking of cigarette smoke... Now I'm not saying it's all bad or I don't have fun some nights, there are definitely cool things about the job (especially the $$), but I thought I'd be gracefully twirling on poles while getting showered with money all night!

    But ChoclatDiva21 also makes a good point- you should have your own $$! Or else you'll be stuck with this dude forever, for fear of ending up broke and on the streets, or being so used to your standard of living that you're afraid to change things.

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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Go in and try it, the only way you will know if you like it is to go to a club and do it! You know your husband is wrong right? It is very easy imo to get hired at a club and you don't have to be a 7 or an 8. Just dress sexy and smile!

    also, I had very little self esteem during the 3 years I danced. I am just now (after a year break from dancing) experiencing self esteem for the first time in my life. I just faked my confidence the whole time while dancing and you can too.
    "I wear tight clothing, high heel shoes
    It doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute" En Vogue

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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Maybe I'm in the minority here, but dancing gave me self esteem and confidence. I don't regret it at all, except for the occasional bad experience. But for the most part guys are giving you money to be beautiful and entertain them, whether that means grind cock or shower your with VIP money and gifts. I wouldn't change any decision I've made towards dancing. Lately things are changing for the worse, but keep your head up because I'm noticing they are gradually getting better. It's up to us to set the standards for what is acceptable or unacceptable, and work hard instead of being lazy and bitching. Know that you ARE worth 3-5 hundred dollars an hour in VIP. Hello? A beautiful naked girl on your lap entertaining you for an hour, that's a steal! I understand that sometimes the complete lack of customers makes it impossible to make money, but you have to evolve and roll with the changes. Take a break, take up erotic maid service, camming, or just take a work trip (my favorite thing to do if I'm stuck in a rut)

    As far as your b/f, fuck him. You have to take care of YOU first!
    I admit I didn't read the rest of the thread. I stopped when I saw this. JD you are not alone. There was an article in Cosmo a few years back "How stripping saved my life". It was about a girl who got out of an abusive relationship by dancing. I'm really bad at finding stuff like this online but nmaybe someone else can find it.

    I am def. in the same boat. I grew up in a shitty blue collar town where people gossip and talk shit and don't have shit but mouths to feed and dancing got me away from that even though in their eyes it made me a "whore". You know what? Fuck them. I have a degree and friends and a good family and a future and most of all, a life I enjoy!

    Yes the clubs do suck right now. Either it will come back around or the $3 hookers will take over but at least I am able to make my own way.

    OhioGirl, I don't think you have low self esteem. I think you are having a bad day and I think that your husband is either in a momentary shitty mood or a douche. I hope it's the former.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Thumbs up Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    OhioGirl, I don't think you have low self esteem. I think you are having a bad day and I think that your husband is either in a momentary shitty mood or a douche. I hope it's the former.
    Yeah, you may have a point here. My self esteem is shaky right now to say the least....but I have always been a confident girl until more recently. And yes he becomes in a shitty mood when I talk of me stripping. I just told my best friend about how hubby reacted & she's like "Can you really blame him? He don't want you out there dancing for men naked." I dunno, I guess there are both sides to the story, but even if he doesn't support me doing it, at least hear me out about it. Ya know, I'm trying to tell him it'll take some financial burden off of him.

    All in All, I need to get a magical shot of self esteem, so I can get all dolled up, walk into a club, audition, & get the job. That's all I want
    XoXo


    "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain


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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    i saw your pictures on the picture posts threads, you look great! What the hell is your husband talking about? No matter how he feels about you stripping he has no right to talk to you that way. I mean, how would he feel if you started talking shit about his dick size or something? A husband is supposed to be supportive of you as a person.

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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by ohiogirl26 View Post
    Very good question!! I've been asking myself that for 8 years. He actually is a decent guy most other times...I think he is just pissy about me wanting to dance so bad. When he should be happy I want to talk about it with him. But maybe I'm in a dreamworld. He's just not real thrilled with me being a stripper, & so he will say mean things to me to degrade me.

    Oh tonight, I was ready to pack my shit & go...I was sooooooo PISSED.
    ... can I dump his ass for you?

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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by SerenaSin View Post
    I agree with Bella DuJour in a way- the reality of stripping is VERY different than what I expected. I've worked in offices, in restaurants, in sales...normal, "straight" jobs where people respect each other for the most part (or at least display professional courtesy to one another)... but this is the first job where I've had to deal with lots of drunk and otherwise intoxicated co-workers, where I've been vomited on, where I've had to worry about crossing the wrong girl and getting my ass beat or my shit stolen, or had customers grab my pussy or smack my ass/touch my breasts without my consent, where I've come home and fallen asleep at 2, 3 or 4 o' clock in the morning reeking of cigarette smoke... Now I'm not saying it's all bad or I don't have fun some nights, there are definitely cool things about the job (especially the $$), but I thought I'd be gracefully twirling on poles while getting showered with money all night!

    But ChoclatDiva21 also makes a good point- you should have your own $$! Or else you'll be stuck with this dude forever, for fear of ending up broke and on the streets, or being so used to your standard of living that you're afraid to change things.
    OMG! You poor girl! Someone actually vomited on you?? Wow

    But I agree with all the other stuff; you gotta watch your $$, make sure you don't piss certain people off (just in case, my combat skills are up to date) and the customers will try to touch you in ways that you don't like.

    About the gracefully twirling on poles while being rained on with $$: I'm taking pole lessons. I'm the only working dancer in the class. The instructors and students think that's what happens and think that 'running your hands through your hair" is the big sexy move

    (I would love for them to come visit me in one of the more 'ghetto' LA clubs I work in).
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by ohiogirl26 View Post
    He actually is a decent guy most other times...
    Hon you deserve more than a "decent" guy ALL the time.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    I could see how a husband might have a moral problem with the job and not want his wife to do it, but telling her she's too fat to do it?! I'm pretty sure this isn't the start, nor will it be the end of his abuse.

    You're screwing yourself over by staying with this guy.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to get hired w/no self esteem?

    And why the hell would you be married to someone who doesn't see you as a 10?!

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