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Thread: If you don't want a dance...

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default If you don't want a dance...

    Could you please just say you don't want a dance? Not, "maybe later", or "not right now" or whatever else you can come up with to "not be mean to me"? I can handle a guy saying they don't want a dance a lot better than I can handle someone who is just wasting my time. Tell me you're not interested and I will move on and leave you alone. If however, you're enjoying the convo but still don't want a dance, then tip me for my time and I'll move on then as well.

    But please, for the love of god, stop thinking you need to tell me something other than no thank you.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
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    Featured Member gameover's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Sure, I'll bring this us at the next secret guy's club meeting, and make sure the word gets out to everybody. Consider it taken care of.

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    ^Attitude much?
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    I actually stopped using maybe later and not right now after coming on this board.
    No thank you has worked pretty well. Very few times do i have to say it twice.

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    Featured Member gameover's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    ^Attitude much?
    oh come on, wasn't it a little funny at least? guess I need to spring for a new joke book.

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    But please, for the love of god, stop thinking you need to tell me something other than no thank you.
    Most PLs don't know a SC is not like real life. If they did SS would not work as well.

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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    if a customer says he doesn't want a dance before i even talk to him, i'm slightly irritated because i wasn't coming to ask him for a dance anyway! sometimes i just wanna chat and have a drink and see where things go.

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    God/dess hockeybobby's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    When asked, I say "no thank you"...I also learned this on SW. But usually I will say within 60 seconds that I won't be needing a dance so she can carry on working.
    Jay, you'd get a prompt "hell yes".

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    How about "not tonight" ?

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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot View Post
    How about "not tonight" ?
    I would approach you again next time you came in then. I would take not "tonight" as in not this very night but maybe next time.


    Just say no thank you. All guys should just say no thank you if they are not interested in a dancer and never will be. Especially if you frequent the same club alot. When a guy says "no thank you" I never approach him again.

    When I get any other line, I will approach you again and again until you flat our tell me "No thank you"

    There is no other polite but direct way to turn a dancer down that works as well as "no thank you"

    Guys, just use it!!

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    ^ well, yeah... 'not tonight' means... 'not tonight'.... of course... and btw, I say 'no, thank you' all the time and it never stopped anyone from asking me again.

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    Featured Member goreantx's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Does it matter if they don't want a dance? Customers aren't obligated to want a dance from us. We're just there to find the customers that want our company. Besides, it's not US, the girl behind the glitzy dress, they don't want a dance from, it's our stripper persona. It's just a waste of energy to dwell on the "no"s.
    Yes, I'm real.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Quote Originally Posted by laurcon View Post
    if a customer says he doesn't want a dance before i even talk to him, i'm slightly irritated because i wasn't coming to ask him for a dance anyway! sometimes i just wanna chat and have a drink and see where things go.
    Well FWIW I remember one thing I don't like about SCs from going last night. The having to say no thanks 20 times after walking in before getting 1 drink.

    But the persistent dancer who wouldn't take no for an answer and said she just wanted to have a drink and chat did make a sale, so ... but my guess is she had either a reasonable intuition and knew I'd eventually pay her something (my compassionate nice guy side tends to do that) or she figured no real loss as the other customers had already been snatched up or had seats at the tip rail.

    Why not at least try with the guy who just walked in right? At worst it is a drink, maybe a tip; at a best a sale.

    I think JayATee is statistically right though. The majority seem to be happiest with "No thanks".. No matter what though you can't make everyone happy all the time.

    FWIW there are two parts to communication - the words, and how the words are conveyed. There is "No thanks" mean and No Thanks neutral and No Thanks nice and various subtle versions in between. I'm reasonably sure most mean they prefer "No thanks" nice or neutral
    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

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    Featured Member goreantx's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    But the persistent dancer who wouldn't take no for an answer and said she just wanted to have a drink and chat did make a sale, so ... but my guess is she had either a reasonable intuition and knew I'd eventually pay her something (my compassionate nice guy side tends to do that) or she figured no real loss as the other customers had already been snatched up or had seats at the tip rail.
    That's true; if it's slow or I think a custie has three digit potential, I'll sit down and crack jokes and feel him out by asking for a drink. If he likes me, he'll get one, and we're set; if he doesn't (or he is secretly broke and counting his $10's), he won't. Either way, it's easier to just not take it personal.
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    Veteran Member Shy_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Interestingly enough, I say maybe later because, *gasp* I haven't made up my mind yet and, really truly, maybe later.
    -SG

    Love & Peace (& Doughnuts)

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Anyone with proper business acumen will tell you that when you are in a business of selling, you will end up wasting time on occasions. It is simply unavoidable.

    You cannot guarantee that each of your overtures will result in a sale. In this life, you win some and you loose some. You build relation with people first before they become a steady source of income for you. You have to establish that rapport with them.

    It is almost never a good idea to appear petty or greedy when you are trying to sell something. It will turn the potential customer off. If you want his money, talk about everything but the money. The customer will start to trust you right away. Once the trust is earned, you are in for making some money.

    A right flirting technique can transform your overtures into guaranteed sales.

    Therefore, I think both PLs and strippers should be responsive towards a little chitchat.

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    I wish customers who don't want dances from ANY of the girls and aren't tipping either would go to a regular bar and stop being cheap asses watching the 'free' stage show.

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    ...i dont get "asked" exactly the way i want so she doesn't get my response exactly the way she wants.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Shy_Guy View Post
    Interestingly enough, I say maybe later because, *gasp* I haven't made up my mind yet and, really truly, maybe later.
    If that's the case, I would suggest you say something to that effect, rather than just "maybe later" because we hear that phrase so much many of us assume it means "no" and won't bother to come back. If you're really interested, you could say something like "I'm still deciding so I may get a dance from you later." That will tell me that if I'm not too busy I should come back later.

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    ^ Would you honestly hear that any different than just another version of "maybe later?"
    -SG

    Love & Peace (& Doughnuts)

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Quote Originally Posted by laurcon View Post
    if a customer says he doesn't want a dance before i even talk to him, i'm slightly irritated because i wasn't coming to ask him for a dance anyway! sometimes i just wanna chat and have a drink and see where things go.


    These guys annoy me too, but not as much as when I first started dancing. Sometimes I will say something like "wow slow down there! I was just going to ask your name!" and a couple times I've gotten dances from them. I think some guys are just not wanting twenty "wanna dance"s and can be won over. Some of them are just not interested in dances or dances from me, for that I thank them for bein curt because it kind of stings but at least I'm not wasting time.

    Quote Originally Posted by goreantx View Post
    Does it matter if they don't want a dance? Customers aren't obligated to want a dance from us. We're just there to find the customers that want our company. Besides, it's not US, the girl behind the glitzy dress, they don't want a dance from, it's our stripper persona. It's just a waste of energy to dwell on the "no"s.
    This is not the point of her post. Customers are not obligated to want dances from us, but it would be nice if they could just SAY so so we could move on and not waste time on them.

    I get dances from a good percentage of the "maybe later"s so I feel like it's worthwhile going back when I get them... so I do. And it's really annoying and a huge waste of my time when the guy obviously had no intention of buying one.

    But I would think from the customer perspective it would also be less irritating to not have the same girl you're not into coming back and asking you again. So if you're really scared of saying no to a woman, use the SC as practice to say no OTC, cause we are big girls, we can handle nos, and wasting our time pisses us off a lot more.

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Tell a stripper "no" right away and she might get mad. Tell her "maybe later" or some other bs and she'll think you're a spineless timewaster. There's just no way around it, in my opinion. I just try to read people as best I can but this isn't always foolproof either.

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    Featured Member minnow's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Shy_Guy View Post
    Interestingly enough, I say maybe later because, *gasp* I haven't made up my mind yet and, really truly, maybe later.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    +1 here. I recall seeing another thread/poll whereby the majority of customers didn't want to be pounced on right away, and preferred "settling in" for a while (10? 15? 30?- whatever) minutes prior to purchasing dance. If a patron does buy multiple dances, they don't always want to jump right from one to another, or buy a continuous stream of dances over the course of a visit. When you(dancers) go to a mall, do you buy/reject the 1st item salesperson shoves in your face, or do you look over several items first? Same here.

    If a guy did say "no" right away, would you "blacklist" him with other dancers? (See that guy over there- he's a cheap SOB). Ultimately, its a numbers game. On a (I'm guessing) "average" 15-20 dancer shift, over the course of a 1-2 hr club visit, I may get dances from 1-3 different dancers. So, that works out to roughly 80-95% of dancers getting a response other than "yes" from me.
    I'm right 96% of the time. I don't sweat the other 5% .......................

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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    Thanks Audrey. You just saved me the trouble.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you don't want a dance...

    I thought this thread was about the guys who say "maybe later" and then get pissy when you come back later.

    "Maybe later" means exactly that to me, and I will come back later. If you want to get rid of me then say no thank you, otherwise I will continue to come back to you and happily ask you if it's later yet on each round of the room I make. I come back more often to the men who give me nasty attitude yet don't have the balls to simply say "No thank you" because they amuse me, and I'll often get a dance from a guy nearby who has been watching that "asshole" be rude to me when all I did was try to show him a good time.


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