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Thread: The Prolonged Effort

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    Default The Prolonged Effort

    So these guys who spend months and months or maybe even years on you and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars...not just for a happy continuing business transaction, but with the ultimate goal of fucking you.

    I know they are almost always much older and this is the only way they will get close to a hot young woman, but why? For those who have these kinds of regs, what is the psychology that keeps them coming and coming and coming, with the goal of coming, but never getting to?

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    For those who have these kinds of regs, what is the psychology that keeps them coming and coming and coming, with the goal of coming, but never getting to?
    More cum than are admitted to.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    My highest paying regs are lonely, lonely men that want nothing more than companionship. They're the ones who buy my time out for dances but never have me dance. They're the cuddlers, or the ones that just want to talk in the quiet of the private dance room. Would they say no if I offered to take them to bed? Probably not. But that's not what they're after. Ultimately, they just want to feel wanted. I give that to them. Even though they know they're paying for it, for the time they're with me, they're the most important thing, they get all the attention. I hang on their every word, I tell them everything they want to hear. It isn't always about sex. Sometimes a person just needs to be near another person.
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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    My highest paying regs are lonely, lonely men that want nothing more than companionship. They're the ones who buy my time out for dances but never have me dance. They're the cuddlers, or the ones that just want to talk in the quiet of the private dance room. Would they say no if I offered to take them to bed? Probably not. But that's not what they're after. Ultimately, they just want to feel wanted. I give that to them. Even though they know they're paying for it, for the time they're with me, they're the most important thing, they get all the attention. I hang on their every word, I tell them everything they want to hear. It isn't always about sex. Sometimes a person just needs to be near another person.
    Loneliness can be very hard to deal with for most of us. I recall a friend of mine telling me a story. He had a fight with his wife over the phone. He was away from the home working on a project at that time. His wife left home to live with her mother and left the dogs in a hotel. There was a long week end approaching and my friend felt so lonely that he flew all the way to his home to be with his dogs. He got the dogs out of hotel and they had lovely family time together. By the time wife returned from the mother's house, the weekend was over. So, it were those dogs who kept the poor guy alive and happy.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    So these guys who spend months and months or maybe even years on you and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars...not just for a happy continuing business transaction, but with the ultimate goal of fucking you.

    I know they are almost always much older and this is the only way they will get close to a hot young woman, but why? For those who have these kinds of regs, what is the psychology that keeps them coming and coming and coming, with the goal of coming, but never getting to?

    I wouldn't think that this is too common because you can buy it from another dancer so why would some guy spend thousands on a long shot. That just doesn't make sense to me.

    I suspect that a lot of customer harassment of dancers is just Customer Shit (CS). Passive aggressive behavior meant to annoy the dancers.

    Some sexual harassment is more of an expression of anger than it is a real effort to get sex. Anger may build up between a long time regular and a dancer just like any other "relationship" IRL so this sexual harassment is just an expression of pent up anger.

    I think that most old fucks or guys who are physically repulsive know that the dancer will never sleep with them for any amount of money so they harass the dancer for the fun of it. So, some of it is real, but I suspect that most of it is (CS).

    And like JayATee said, most of them just want the companionship. It's hard to believe that some old fuck is really serious about spending thousands of dollars to score with a certain dancer when he can find an extras girl in the same club.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveSmith View Post
    I wouldn't think that this is too common because you can buy it from another dancer so why would some guy spend thousands on a long shot. That just doesn't make sense to me.
    I believe it is the plausible deniability syndrome; a dancer really cares for a PL wile a prostitute is only in it for the money (PL thought process). Then again PLs have an attraction to a particular type and lose contact with reality. The SC is a blending of real life and prostitution; a blending where both dancer and PL can forget their positions and …

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    It's complicated and everyone is different. I'm sure some of the "PLs" (and I hate that term) think they're going to eventually fuck/date said dancer. But, there are plenty of cases where the customer just enjoys the fantasy of that ITC relationship only... and hell...some of them actually LIKE the fact that there's little "commitment" involved. Most of my long term regulars have been guys who like conversation and advise (sometimes I feel like a therapist). Some get dances, some do not. I highly doubt any of my regulars think they are going to fuck or date me, at least they don't -really- believe that. I'm not saying they wouldn't or anything, I'm just saying I don't believe it's always the driving goal.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Usually, the ones who are in it cause they want to fuck you (and think they actually have a chance) make it pretty obvious really early on. I have so many guys that will come in two or three times, and then start asking, "So what are you doing after work?" or, "So what are you doing Tuesday?" And I'm not really good at playing that game; I tell them flat out that I do not date customers. And the really priceless ones are like, "Oh, no, no, I'm not trying to date you. Jeez, can't we just go get coffee and hang out?" I'm always like, "You seriously expect me to believe that you just want to be friends, and you're not going to be trying to fuck me? Really?"

    I think this is one of the reason I don't have many regulars. I'm not good at playing the games.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    So these guys who spend months and months or maybe even years on you and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars...not just for a happy continuing business transaction, but with the ultimate goal of fucking you.

    I know they are almost always much older and this is the only way they will get close to a hot young woman, but why? For those who have these kinds of regs, what is the psychology that keeps them coming and coming and coming, with the goal of coming, but never getting to?
    I'll probably get burned at the stake for this but oh well...

    The best poor analogy I can give us that cake might sustain us, but it is the frosting that really turns us on.

    We can interact with each other of the same sex, or of the opposite sex when we are older, in an asexual way just fine. That fulfills a need for companionship on some level of course just as bread and water might keep us alive.

    But the other sex's sex appeal adds another level of excitement, the possibility of sex and all the multi-hundred year old drives that go along with that.

    Even if the sex part never happens, the man may still feel involvement in the conversation with her in a whole new way, a way that wakes core human feelings and physiological reactions he doesn't experience talking with other males (or even other women of his own age).

    Sometimes the trip is the exciting part and the arrival a bonus; even if he never arrives he might still enjoy the on-going male<->female sexually charged human interaction.

    And yes the part I'll get burned at the stake for by someone is coming....

    The physiological differences that make it more exciting are in part turned on because she is attractive and probably younger (since aging and attractiveness are deeply intertwined in what turns most of our genetic desire to have sex). It is super popular for people to deny this because there are exceptions. Then again some people have fetishes to cut off their own limbs too, but exceptions do not teach us about the norms. And the norm is rapidly being proven ... there are factors that across all cultures are seen as sexual and most often seen in youth (e.g., symmetry, smooth/clear skin, clear eyes, facial and body proportions, shiny hair, etc.) These are markers that tell our multi-million year old genes "good for reproduction". By the same reasoning, it is completely normal that a younger woman feels "eww gross" when the old ugly guy hits on her. She might talk to him but feel no sexual interest at all, even if he has money, charm and much else going on.

    That said... as with most things there are trade offs. In the long run the guy might be happier if he finds what he needs in other ways, with someone closer to his own age, but the desire in a man for sexually charged relationships can last a LONG time in life, well past the point where hot/young women find him attractive.
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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    My highest paying regs are lonely, lonely men that want nothing more than companionship. They're the ones who buy my time out for dances but never have me dance. They're the cuddlers, or the ones that just want to talk in the quiet of the private dance room. Would they say no if I offered to take them to bed? Probably not. But that's not what they're after. Ultimately, they just want to feel wanted. I give that to them. Even though they know they're paying for it, for the time they're with me, they're the most important thing, they get all the attention. I hang on their every word, I tell them everything they want to hear. It isn't always about sex. Sometimes a person just needs to be near another person.
    This was me for a while in the years before my marriage finally and mercifully imploded. I was lucky enough to find a few very beautiful and very smart dancers who understood exactly what you understand JayATee. Yes, I paid a dancer to keep her cloths on for about a year and the time we spent together was the best part of my week, every week for a long time...

    Your regulars are very lucky men...
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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Im sorry but if you are a man who has that type of money to spend, wants to make a girl happy, have a fun time and go home with no strings why not?? That is what a stripclub experience should be all about!

    Is it so hard to believe there are some decent guys out there who simply like to make a female happy, and have her companionship with no pressure? There are, believe it or not! Nothing wrong with that! If you cannot or won't partake, doesnt mean that the people who do are bad/psycho.

    Is it also so hard to believe there are people out there who know very well that their relationship with a stripper will take place inside a club only, regardless of the money, with no further expectations? I applaud the men who know that a SC relationship will exist only ITC. They know the game and are happy to have fun and go home when the night is over, with no strings.

    What is hard for ME to believe is there are so many customers who ARE DESPERATE and use the SC as speeddating, who dont understand we are here to provide ITC entertainment only and will not take no for an answer! Who won't even BUY dances or TIP if they don't get a phone number or a promise to meet. Who like to play headgames and say things to agitate us, get any kind of reaction even if it is a bad one, just to get our attention for without tipping.

    Id say the guy who spends thousands has the money and is simply out to have a good time, and the desperate type often needs help that a stripclub cannot provide!

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    Then again PLs have an attraction to a particular type and lose contact with reality.…
    I do agree with earl on this. This can and does happen to alot of men with camgirls, dancers, and porn addictions in general. Some people are simply out of touch with reality. In this case, I could no longer take the money from the poor old man with issues. I'd have to let him go. I have had this situation happen before. Reg that I NEVER lead on wanted me to pack up and move across country to live with him, said he loved me, every time I mentioned how much I wanted to move out of Vegas there was always an offer to move in with him. Keep in mind he is a complete stranger to me OTC, I did not know him well and I would never move in with a complete stranger, esp him. I didnt ever meet him on the outside, call him etc. He had issues! I made it very clear from the beginning I dont meet OTC. He would constantly tell me he dated an dancer, too, so I always assumed they met in the club and took the relationship to the outside. Hence why he believes every dancer he likes will want to do the same, move in with him, etc. He was so out of touch with reality, I had to let him go. I knew he had much deeper issues and could no longer put myself in a situation that could only get worse.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    I'll probably get burned at the stake for this but oh well...

    The best poor analogy I can give us that cake might sustain us, but it is the frosting that really turns us on.

    We can interact with each other of the same sex, or of the opposite sex when we are older, in an asexual way just fine. That fulfills a need for companionship on some level of course just as bread and water might keep us alive.

    But the other sex's sex appeal adds another level of excitement, the possibility of sex and all the multi-hundred year old drives that go along with that.

    Even if the sex part never happens, the man may still feel involvement in the conversation with her in a whole new way, a way that wakes core human feelings and physiological reactions he doesn't experience talking with other males (or even other women of his own age).

    Sometimes the trip is the exciting part and the arrival a bonus; even if he never arrives he might still enjoy the on-going male<->female sexually charged human interaction.

    And yes the part I'll get burned at the stake for by someone is coming....

    The physiological differences that make it more exciting are in part turned on because she is attractive and probably younger (since aging and attractiveness are deeply intertwined in what turns most of our genetic desire to have sex). It is super popular for people to deny this because there are exceptions. Then again some people have fetishes to cut off their own limbs too, but exceptions do not teach us about the norms. And the norm is rapidly being proven ... there are factors that across all cultures are seen as sexual and most often seen in youth (e.g., symmetry, smooth/clear skin, clear eyes, facial and body proportions, shiny hair, etc.) These are markers that tell our multi-million year old genes "good for reproduction". By the same reasoning, it is completely normal that a younger woman feels "eww gross" when the old ugly guy hits on her. She might talk to him but feel no sexual interest at all, even if he has money, charm and much else going on.

    That said... as with most things there are trade offs. In the long run the guy might be happier if he finds what he needs in other ways, with someone closer to his own age, but the desire in a man for sexually charged relationships can last a LONG time in life, well past the point where hot/young women find him attractive.
    This is WELL said!! It's a symbiotic relationship, money for looks. May/December for Grant/Franklin.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    So these guys who spend months and months or maybe even years on you and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars...not just for a happy continuing business transaction, but with the ultimate goal of fucking you.

    I know they are almost always much older and this is the only way they will get close to a hot young woman, but why? For those who have these kinds of regs, what is the psychology that keeps them coming and coming and coming, with the goal of coming, but never getting to?
    So far, no dancer has said they've run across these older regulars who pester them for months or years for sex. The ones who've responded said the older regulars wanted companionship. Have dancers you've known told you they get pestered for months and years for sex from an older regular and why didn't these dancers put a stop to this annoying behavior? How did the pestering transpire? Did the regular ask on every visit or every few months? Was it a serious request or just SC banter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    I believe it is the plausible deniability syndrome; a dancer really cares for a PL wile a prostitute is only in it for the money (PL thought process). Then again PLs have an attraction to a particular type and lose contact with reality. The SC is a blending of real life and prostitution; a blending where both dancer and PL can forget their positions and …
    Earl_the_PL, <<< I couldn't resist, the OP was talking about older regulars who pester the dancer for sex. The OP made no mention that the customer believed he was in a real relationship with the dancer (PL syndrome). A lot of customers pester dancers for sex but they wouldn't be classified as a true PL who thinks he has a real relationship with the dancer.

    A true PL would probably ask the dancer for an OTC relationship before he'd get to the sex; after all, he's "in love."

    There are exceptions to the rule, though.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    This was me for a while in the years before my marriage finally and mercifully imploded. I was lucky enough to find a few very beautiful and very smart dancers who understood exactly what you understand JayATee. Yes, I paid a dancer to keep her cloths on for about a year and the time we spent together was the best part of my week, every week for a long time...

    Your regulars are very lucky men...
    I'd like to think I bring some happiness to their lives. They need/deserve it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveSmith View Post
    So far, no dancer has said they've run across these older regulars who pester them for months or years for sex. The ones who've responded said the older regulars wanted companionship. Have dancers you've known told you they get pestered for months and years for sex from an older regular and why didn't these dancers put a stop to this annoying behavior?
    Yeah, that is what inspired the question. I was sitting with 2 dancers, one of whom I knew well. She was telling the other about her regular who was as she called it "at the end of the road" -- where they will stop coming/being a regular if they don't have sex. She said it happens with most regulars. Both acted like it was a common and known thing.

    She said he could go, she can always easily replace him.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I'd like to think I bring some happiness to their lives. They need/deserve it.
    See this is a cool way to look at it.

    I never went often, rather stress would add up for 6 months and then I'd go forget about life for a night. Life for many of us is complex, busy, full of mixed pulls. It is easy for it to add up until we feel like exploding from the stress of it all. The attention of one beautiful woman can make a dramatic difference, months of stress ... poof...gone... in a way that we probably cannot put into words. We're fortunate to live in a country where we have the option to take our minds off real-life (even if it is just for a short while) in the unique way that SCs provide.
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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    i'm not surprised "both acted like it was a common and known thing" because it is, and its why the balancing act factor is so crucial to keep it rolling as long as possible.. Regs most times have a certain shelf life, however the "wannna-fuck-her" types are probably far easier to string along than the "wanna-love-her" type RILs. Smart dancers know when to bail.

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I'd like to think I bring some happiness to their lives. They need/deserve it.
    Absolutely true! You would be surprised how much a guy's looking forward to spending some quality time with an ATF can improve his outlook on other parts of his life.
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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I'd like to think I bring some happiness to their lives. They need/deserve it.
    I think if I was lacking for companionship, I'd feel worse knowing I was paying for it, but that's just me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    I think if I was lacking for companionship, I'd feel worse knowing I was paying for it,
    Clearly you missed most of the point here BEM.

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    but that's just me.

    Thank goodness, otherwise most of the girls you go to see would have to do something else for a living...
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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Hmm... I look at it like say recreational drugs; it is a vice. You might say you use drugs for entertainment (i.e., similarly not for companionship). You might say you use them to temporarily ease over some type of emotional pain (i.e., for some temporary companionship).

    As anyone wishes, because each person's life experience and genetic background is different, chances are we would behave no different if we were in their shoes.

    It is a reasonable to be concerned when someone is addicted to a vice, and probably those using a vice to ease over pain are more likely to become addicts, but even addicts often get over whatever addicted them, and move on.

    The SC vice is not a lot different. Nobody needs to go SCs just as nobody needs recreational drugs, but different people do so for different reasons that are right for them.
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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Clearly you missed most of the point here BEM.
    No I didn't. My point is that if the best part of my week was the few hours I got to spend with someone I had to pay to hang out with me, I'd feel that much worse the rest of the week.


    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Thank goodness, otherwise most of the girls you go to see would have to do something else for a living...
    The notion to stop doing dances is as often theirs as it is mine. Yet, we remain friends IRL and in many cases, I know their families. The dances just no longer work. Funny, most of those girls have admitted to me they wouldn't pay someone to hang out with them either. I place no time demands in the club on any of my friends who work there ( nor would I ever consider doing so ). And none of them ever feel guilty when they don't have time for me ITC ( nor should they ).
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    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    No I didn't. My point is that if the best part of my week was the few hours I got to spend with someone I had to pay to hang out with me, I'd feel that much worse the rest of the week.
    I got your point BEM. My point was that you clearly don't understand the motivation of guys that go to clubs looking for some company and are willing to pay for it.

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    The notion to stop doing dances is as often theirs as it is mine. Yet, we remain friends IRL and in many cases, I know their families. The dances just no longer work. Funny, most of those girls have admitted to me they wouldn't pay someone to hang out with them either. I place no time demands in the club on any of my friends who work there ( nor would I ever consider doing so ). And none of them ever feel guilty when they don't have time for me ITC ( nor should they ).
    Sounds like you are defending yourself against an accusation that I didn't make BEM. I understand that your relationship with a particular dancer or group of dancers may not include paying her for time or buying dances and I honestly don't care. That is between you and them. My point was however that someone has to spend money in a strip club or there would be no strippers...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: The Prolonged Effort

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I got your point BEM. My point was that you clearly don't understand the motivation of guys that go to clubs looking for some company and are willing to pay for it.
    You're right, I don't, but that was pretty much what I posted anyhow.


    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Sounds like you are defending yourself against an accusation that I didn't make BEM. I understand that your relationship with a particular dancer or group of dancers may not include paying her for time or buying dances and I honestly don't care. That is between you and them. My point was however that someone has to spend money in a strip club or there would be no strippers...
    If it sounds like I am defending myself, it is because you specifically referred to me and the dancers with whom I am acquainted when your point was a more general one, that someone has to spend money or they'd be no strippers. Fine, no argument, but perhaps you should have said that initially since, as you say, my relationship with them is between me and them. just as your relationship is between you and your dancers. I think part of the problem is that, in many cases, we are talking about some of the same dancers.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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