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Thread: Ex trouble

  1. #1
    sessik86
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    Default Ex trouble

    My ex and I broke up 4 months ago. He still hangs around my friends that I introduced him too. I don't mind that but he is dating this girl and now is bringing her around. I haven't ran into them yet but it is bound to happen soon. I talked with him about but he just doesn't seem to understand. It is driving me insane. I feel like I want to kill both of them. Please help with any advice because I'm mentally going to lose it soon.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Shy_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex trouble

    I know it might be difficult to clarify right now, but what would you like him to do?

    examples:
    Not bring his girlfriend where you might be?
    Not hang around the friends you introduced him to?

    What was it you asked of him that he didn't understand? If you weren't specific enough, guys can sometimes not "get" it. He might have understood you were upset, but not clear on what you expected of him.
    -SG

    Love & Peace (& Doughnuts)

  3. #3
    sessik86
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    Default Re: Ex trouble

    i told him that i don't want her around but for some reason he has it in his head that he thinks its okay to bring her around when i'm at work. It upsets me because I feel as if I'm being disrespected and that I have to worry when hanging out with my friends that I'm going to run into them. When a guy and a girl break up doesn't the guy usually stop hanging around his ex's friends? It's not like we had mutual friends.

  4. #4
    Member elizabetha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex trouble

    Hanging out with your friends sounds kind of vindictive, maybe even creepy to me; maybe he's doing it to mess with you? I could be way off base and he just doesn't know what you want, like Shy_Guy said. I agree that you really need to talk him about it.
    "Women are incredible in groups together. Terrifying. Men have nothing on them."

  5. #5
    Veteran Member Shy_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex trouble

    When you say "at work," do you mean in the club, or other work?

    Stepping back and looking at the situation objectively: Has he become friends with these people? As in is his involvement with your friends unusual (aside from the new GF issue)?

    I would also say it is best to avoid thinking of what "usually" happens. Everybody has a different idea of what "should" happen and what the actual situation is. Deal with your situation. Telling other people what they "should" do is rarely effective.

    I see this developing two ways (so far)

    1. He is a jerk trying to rub it in your face. Being upset only encourages this behavior.

    -or-

    2. He has made some actual friendships with your friends and does not see them as "your" friends. He believes you have no basis to tell him who he can hang out with.

    In case #1, put on the best face possible, and he will tire of the game.

    In case #2, you may have to deal with the fact that your friends actually still like your ex.

    Have you mentioned this to your friends? They will have better insight. If they believe this is case #1, they can refuse to hang out with him.
    Last edited by Shy_Guy; 08-17-2009 at 12:10 AM.
    -SG

    Love & Peace (& Doughnuts)

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Ex trouble

    We cannot change those around us, we can only change ourselves. He's obviously trying to irk you, but don't let him! He THRIVES off of your discomfort, so don't waste your time worrying what HE'S doing & focus on YOURSELF - mind, body & spirit. I took spinning classes to sweat out my frustration, a mini vacation to clear my mind, and I pampered myself at the spa. Came back better than before! My confidence was high, my hustle was on & I banked every night I went in. Ex who? I was too busy handling MY business. Eventually, I did bump into my ex & his new gf. It was funny how she had to elbow him because he was drooling over me. I just smiled, wished them well & never looked back.

    Life is SO fricken sweet sometimes!

  7. #7
    sessik86
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    Default Re: Ex trouble

    Thanks guys. I already feel better after letting my frustrations out. Outside opinions are always better. I think I could deal with seeing her because this girl has some serious self esteem problems. I only met her once while my ex and I were going out. They work together. For a year while we were going out I knew she had a crush on him. Towards the end I lost interest in my ex and we grew apart. Right after that they started dating. It's been four months and they are not even boyfriend and girlfriend. He told me after we broke up that he was seeing somebody and that she wanted to go out with him but he told her he didn't want a relationship right now because he just got out of one. I think it's funny that this girl waited around for a year for my ex and I to break up and then afterwards they still aren't going out. I don't consider dating going out because you are still allowed to see other people.

  8. #8
    Member acw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex trouble

    Sounds a little creepy.

    Who called the Break-up?

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