Results 1 to 23 of 23

Thread: How to keep a guy around?

  1. #1
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default How to keep a guy around?

    My guy friend who is on the phone with me right now told me, "I better start learning to give good blow jobs or mixing it up somehow or a guy won't stick around long." Is this true? Can't you just be happy with one girl having a normal sexual relationship without trying to make it spontaneous and crazy?
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  2. #2
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,449
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 165 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    It's a fairly loaded question... but before any attempt at an answer, how old is the guy? The reality is everyone is different about what their priorities are, but age is often a factor in what people's priorities are.

    It remains a bit loaded because it could be interpreted as you mean "no exploratory sex ever" on through you really mean "can't we just have some nights where it's just us without it needing to be like a circus show?"
    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

  3. #3
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    My guy friend who is on the phone with me right now told me, "I better start learning to give good blow jobs or mixing it up somehow or a guy won't stick around long." Is this true? Can't you just be happy with one girl having a normal sexual relationship without trying to make it spontaneous and crazy?
    Well, every guy, every woman and every relationship is different. Your friend probably means well but you need to be true to yourself first and others second. Any relationship that succeeds or fails based solely on sex is not worth much to begin with.

    Do what works for you, in life and in the bedroom. It may work for some guys and not for others but, for me at least, faking it never works. By the way, spontaneous doesn't always have to mean crazy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  4. #4
    Veteran Member sexystephani's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Fresno Ca
    Posts
    469
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    I agree with Yoda it doesn't sound like this guy is worth keeping around.
    I feel that sex will come around when its right for the 2 of you.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    553
    Thanks
    110
    Thanked 42 Times in 37 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Girl i still dont see how you would have any problem keeping a man around. Apparently they arent getting to know YOU. From someone that has met you i would put that on the bottom of the list as to why to keep you around. You could have probably any good man you want and just the fact that he said this to you takes him out of that category.

    If it is that important to him, he doesnt deserve you.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    436
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Most heterosexual men want lots of sex with lots of women, nature designed it that way to assure survival of the species, so if a guy (for awhile at least) wants variety and excitement from just one woman - you need to give him what he wants. Odds are you wouldn't be attracted to a guy in the first place unless you subconsciously deemed him to be an alpha seed spreader type anyways.

  7. #7
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Lot of bs on this thread. Not giving blowjobs isn't a way to keep a guy around along with just missionary sex a few times a week.

    He will wander

  8. #8
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by Will Hunting View Post
    Lot of bs on this thread. Not giving blowjobs isn't a way to keep a guy around along with just missionary sex a few times a week.

    He will wander
    Wow it sounds like you're a pretty insecure guy. I'm sorry.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to J.D. For This Useful Post:


  10. #9
    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    2,652
    Thanks
    3,054
    Thanked 2,005 Times in 903 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Yeah, ignore the people who are agreeing with what your friend said. Blow jobs aren't everything. Sex isn't everything. I don't think I've ever heard a guy say, "Man, I really don't want to be with her, but she sucks a mean dick, so I'm still here." I think it's important to be sexually open with your partner, and to give just as much as you receive, but it doesn't come down to a simple matter of how much dick you suck. And if that's what makes or breaks the relationship, the guy isn't worth it anyways.

  11. #10
    Banned malayataylor's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2009
    Location
    in your head
    Posts
    3,398
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 803 Times in 500 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    Yeah, ignore the people who are agreeing with what your friend said. Blow jobs aren't everything. Sex isn't everything. I don't think I've ever heard a guy say, "Man, I really don't want to be with her, but she sucks a mean dick, so I'm still here." I think it's important to be sexually open with your partner, and to give just as much as you receive, but it doesn't come down to a simple matter of how much dick you suck. And if that's what makes or breaks the relationship, the guy isn't worth it anyways.
    I totally agree but a bj here and there helps...ha!

    Someone said because i didn't cook my man he wouldn't stick around...Ha..well i proved them wrong. A GOOD man will stick with an independent woman first of all. A man won't take you seriously if you don't take yourself seriously. A relationship based on SEX alone wouldn't last long. SEX (blowjobs) is just a temporary satisfaction. Let him love you for YOU..not because you can deep throat a 8in cock..GOODNESS!

  12. #11
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    My guy friend who is on the phone with me right now told me, "I better start learning to give good blow jobs or mixing it up somehow or a guy won't stick around long." Is this true? Can't you just be happy with one girl having a normal sexual relationship without trying to make it spontaneous and crazy?
    I subscribe to this philiosophy:

    Feed them: Cook 'em dinner once in awhile.
    Have regular sex wth them.
    When they go out with their boys, don't give 'em crap.
    If they are too drunk to drive, offer a ride.
    Don't be with someone you want to change.


    Seems to work.

  13. #12
    Banned malayataylor's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2009
    Location
    in your head
    Posts
    3,398
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 803 Times in 500 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I subscribe to this philiosophy:

    Feed them: Cook 'em dinner once in awhile.
    Have regular sex wth them.
    When they go out with their boys, don't give 'em crap.
    If they are too drunk to drive, offer a ride.
    Don't be with someone you want to change.


    Seems to work.
    Well said! But dammn i'm not a great cook but i try. He dosen't give me shit about it though, He is a really good cook.

  14. #13
    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Reality
    Posts
    1,351
    Thanks
    1,063
    Thanked 2,391 Times in 643 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I subscribe to this philiosophy:

    Feed them: Cook 'em dinner once in awhile.
    Have regular sex wth them.
    When they go out with their boys, don't give 'em crap.
    If they are too drunk to drive, offer a ride.
    Don't be with someone you want to change.


    Seems to work.
    That's a good philosophy.

    I'm just going to say, if you treat a man like an actual human being, you're going to be doing better than a lot of women right off that bat. One of the major reasons I have a hard time making female friends is because I can't tolerate the way they talk about their boyfriends and husbands. If these women heard their boyfriend saying the EXACT same things about them, they'd throw a bitchfit and dump him.

    Most of the guys my husband has worked with over the years dislike their wives. (Yes, I said most, and I meant it) They don't hate them, they just don't like them. It's not because their wife doesn't suck enough dick or even because she gained weight. It's usually just because she's a selfish bitch who constantly puts her husband in no win situations and over the years, it's made him bitter and resentful towards her.

    Staying in shape does help though. It really does, and the occasional spontaneous blowjob never hurts. I don't think you need to do anything crazy sexually though, just as long as you care about his needs too.

  15. #14
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,143
    Thanks
    48
    Thanked 259 Times in 191 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    My guy friend who is on the phone with me right now told me, "I better start learning to give good blow jobs or mixing it up somehow or a guy won't stick around long." Is this true? Can't you just be happy with one girl having a normal sexual relationship without trying to make it spontaneous and crazy?
    There's lust and love, and his comment is based more on the former than the latter.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  16. #15
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,449
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 165 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung View Post
    There's lust and love, and his comment is based more on the former than the latter.
    This was a good way to put it.

    The thing is it still depends on the person though, and everyone has their priorities.

    Your friend is projecting what he wants on to every other guy, and it is somewhat like someone saying women can't be happy if a guys dick is too small, or couples can't be happy if they are not into 3-ways or swinging, and etc. These are criteria that some people require in relationships, but it is easy for people to confuse their own lust/wants with some universal truth about what others need/want.

    The main thing is to figure out what you want, find someone compatible, and not waste any emotional energy on what others are looking for (as long as it is not directly harming us, or causing any major social damage, there are better ways to spend our energy).
    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

  17. #16
    God/dess
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,142
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked 1,112 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Can't you just be happy with one girl having a normal sexual relationship without trying to make it spontaneous and crazy?
    What is a "normal sexual relationship"?

    I've argued in several other threads that sexual compatibility is very critical in a relationship... This is not as simple as "giving great head"... It depends on a lot of factors:

    (a) you both want sex with similar frequence (i.e., every day vs. once a week);
    (b) you both have a similar level of sexual curiosity and tolerance (i.e., kinkiness factor);
    (c) you enjoy similar sexual activities (ie., "rough" vs. "tender", etc.);
    (d) you both indulge each others fantasies;
    (e) you both give sex the same meaning and priority (i.e., "it's just sex, we can live without it" vs. "it is central to our relationship - both physically and spiritually")
    etc.

    To some guys, blowjobs may be the best form of sex and they can't live without it... Other guys may appreciate a good blowjob, but are quite capable of getting by without it.

    My personal issue is frequency... I have a very high libido and need to have sex as often as possible... If I am in a LTR and living with her, one day without sex is a struggle, two days without sex puts me in a shitty mood and three days... I'm packing. My other sexual "must-have" in a LTR is fantasy role-playing... I'm just a playfull sort of guy... I need a woman that will dress in sexy outfits for me, indulge my fantasies and... I love lapdances... Basically, I love getting teased and seriously turned on before starting sex.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 08-20-2009 at 10:25 AM.

  18. #17
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Big D
    Posts
    90
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    That's a good philosophy.

    I'm just going to say, if you treat a man like an actual human being, you're going to be doing better than a lot of women right off that bat. One of the major reasons I have a hard time making female friends is because I can't tolerate the way they talk about their boyfriends and husbands. If these women heard their boyfriend saying the EXACT same things about them, they'd throw a bitchfit and dump him.

    Most of the guys my husband has worked with over the years dislike their wives. (Yes, I said most, and I meant it) They don't hate them, they just don't like them. It's not because their wife doesn't suck enough dick or even because she gained weight. It's usually just because she's a selfish bitch who constantly puts her husband in no win situations and over the years, it's made him bitter and resentful towards her.

    Staying in shape does help though. It really does, and the occasional spontaneous blowjob never hurts. I don't think you need to do anything crazy sexually though, just as long as you care about his needs too.
    This post and Mediocrity's are GREAT. Especially the part where if they heard their man talking about him the way they talk about him...

    Not sure where the double standard comes from, but treating your boyfriend like a friend (as well) is also a good strategy.

    Most men do DISLIKE their wives, but if they didn't there'd be some EMPTY Strip Clubs!! So damned if you do and damned if you don't.

  19. #18
    Veteran Member dreamer1980's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    401
    Thanks
    197
    Thanked 89 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    1 fool proof way to keep your man:

    dont cheat on him!

  20. #19
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,449
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 165 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    ...They don't hate them, they just don't like them. It's not because their wife doesn't suck enough dick or even because she gained weight. It's usually just because she's a selfish bitch who constantly puts her husband in no win situations and over the years, it's made him bitter and resentful towards her.....
    The noway to win testing is ... epic lose ... <3 u
    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

  21. #20
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    That's a good philosophy.

    I'm just going to say, if you treat a man like an actual human being, you're going to be doing better than a lot of women right off that bat. One of the major reasons I have a hard time making female friends is because I can't tolerate the way they talk about their boyfriends and husbands. If these women heard their boyfriend saying the EXACT same things about them, they'd throw a bitchfit and dump him.

    Most of the guys my husband has worked with over the years dislike their wives. (Yes, I said most, and I meant it) They don't hate them, they just don't like them. It's not because their wife doesn't suck enough dick or even because she gained weight. It's usually just because she's a selfish bitch who constantly puts her husband in no win situations and over the years, it's made him bitter and resentful towards her.

    Staying in shape does help though. It really does, and the occasional spontaneous blowjob never hurts. I don't think you need to do anything crazy sexually though, just as long as you care about his needs too.

    You know, I've never thought of this perspective, but that makes so much sense.

    What's weird is that this is the second guy who has told me this. Both these guys are just friends, and we weren't talking about any specific guy I am/was seeing, but we were discussing my failed relationships. They BOTH said I should mix it up more sexually, like learn how to give a good blow job, and my relationships with men would last longer. I just don't get it. I guess every guy is different, and if they don't stick around they were never worth it....
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  22. #21
    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,520
    Thanks
    348
    Thanked 878 Times in 506 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    I think a lack of sex or variety can push a guy who normaly wouldn't, to wander, but no amount of great blowjobs or anything else can make someone stick around that doesn't want to. You can be a gorgeous, drama free, nympho, and if they don't want you, they won't stick around and nothing can change that.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

  23. The Following User Says Thank You to princessjas For This Useful Post:


  24. #22
    God/dess
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,142
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked 1,112 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    I think a lack of sex or variety can push a guy who normaly wouldn't, to wander.
    Probably, true,... but, again... I'll emphasize my point that it is really a matter of sexual compatibility, first and foremost... Maybe the guy has a very low libido, is content to have sex just once a week and doesn't care about variety. In some cases (a minority), it is the woman who complains that her BF or husband doesn't have sex with her as often as she wants it.

    Sexual compatibility is key; you cannot "act" or "pretend" to be compatible if you are not (e.g., by having sex every night, when you only want to do it once a week -- resentment, boredom and disappointment will be the end result). If you hate giving BJs, you might be able to do it once-in-a-while to indulge him, but not all the time... So don't date a guy that lives only for BJs -- you are not sexually compatible and are doomed to fail as a couple. We notice when a girl is not having fun in bed and it is a major turn-off, even if she is indulging us.

    Personally, I like BJs once-in-a-while, only as foreplay... A few minutes of BJ is enough for me and I'm moving on to sex... You do not need a Ph.D. in oral sex to please me. Sometimes, I even prefer an erotic massage and a good HJ. But, other guys want BJs all the time and climax that way.

    What the OP needs to do, is not worry so much about pleasuring an abstract concept of a man, but to carefully assess her own sexual preferences and what kind of mate she would be most sexually compatible with. Then, when she finds him, she can worry about rocking his world -- maybe with a BJ or maybe with a whip...

  25. #23
    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,520
    Thanks
    348
    Thanked 878 Times in 506 Posts

    Default Re: How to keep a guy around?

    I completely agree about sexual compatibility being of the utmost importance. After being stuck with a man who only wanted very vanilla sex 1-2 times a week for the last 10 years, I'm convinced that it can tear apart the foundation of a relationship. Plus it feels great to be able to be yourself without being judged for your kinks and preferences. Sooo much nicer than constantly tamping down your own needs and wants in an attempt to mesh with someone with different sexual desires or in my case a less sexual vanilla partner. Personally I can't imagine that trying to please a partner with a higher sex drive is any more fun, but ime that doesn't happen, the partner with the higher drive is just left frustrated and is made to feel badly for wanting more. Never again will I attempt a relationship when out-of-sync with someone.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

Similar Threads

  1. Another new guy!
    By subwoofer in forum Coming Out
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-19-2009, 03:14 AM
  2. Guy to Guy question about "Stripper Chat"
    By slims099 in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 08-19-2007, 01:35 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •