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Thread: Immediate "No"

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    Sad Immediate "No"

    So I work in Columbia, SC and I'm having a unique issue for me. Until recently I've been selling rooms and dances and not having huge difficulty doing it, so it's not my looks or that I don't know how to sell. I feel like if I can get a chance to talk to you I can sell you something. I've been going up to plenty of people so It's not like I'm not approaching people either. What has been happening recently to me though is baffling though. As soon as I walk up to guys, sometimes before I can even say "Hi", they say "No". It has happened just as I reach out and touch their leg or arm. I usually don't let things hurt my feelings, but after going through this for a few weeks now and being really broke it's starting to get to me. I've even just walked up given a big smile and put my boobs in their face and without them even looking at me they just say "nope'. I've asked to sit down with them ,"cause it's so busy in here" and they just say "no that's okay" with an attitude. Is this happening to anyone else?!? Any suggestions to get past this?

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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    I've been dealing with this sort of thing non stop lately. Haven't found a cure for it, just trying to ignore it and keep working.

    It sucks big time though!

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    hmm, ive had that happen. Sometimes i prefer it, because it doesnt waste my time but other times im like fuck, i feel like if i had a minute i could have warmed him up to the idea of spending money. I can see how it would be VERY disheartening if it happened repeatedly. I can also see it being very tempting to start getting attitude if this kept happening (ill be straight, if i had a night where this happened 3x in a row, the 3rd customer would probably get an insult). Here is how i would suggest handling this problem professionally:

    I would wear something that makes you stand out more than usual. Do your hair and makeup better than usual until you look super fabulous. Then walk through the club wiht your best slow sexy strut and try to make eye contact with the customers. Smile and wink to any customer who returns it. Then approach the customers who return the smile and eyecontact, especially those who return the wink. This is the easiest way to find customers who want to be approached. If walking through the club isnt working, do a very eye catching move on stage and make sure you make enough eye contact with everyone who notices so that they know you acknowleged them. I know a lot of girls on here hate clunking your shoes, but if you are seriously having trouble getting attention i think it is acceptable to do once per set, just dont abuse it. After making an noise like that make sure you gracefully move to something sexy so it doesnt seem super obnoxious. Make eye contact and smile to those who turn their heads and remember who they are so you can approach them after your stage set, even if they dotn tip you.

    I think after you find that once customer who drops a lot on you, you will get your mojo back. It sounds like right now your confidence has been hurt a bit, which is probably reflected more htan you realize in your approach. You dont want to come across as desperate. If you get a lot of immediate nos, i would go to the dressing room for 5 min, take a deep breath, primp yourself a bit, and give yourself a pep talk. That way when you go back out you are slightly fresher and since you have been MIA for a bit, you dont look unwanted or despearte when you approach the customers.

    Good luck!
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    Don't take it personally especially if you know you sell VIPs and what not.

    Guys seem like their in a pinch over money lately so I would expect to see that more...and a lot of girls being cut throat too.

    The guys I can deal with but the stupid girls who can't make money any other way are a drag. (End of rant. LOL)

    I just give them a smirk and walk away. If the timing is right I may say something like "wow you have poor manners." with zero attitude. Just pointing out a fact.

    Something like that coming from a stripper really stings.

    It's not about competing it's or being mean. It's about calling them out and turning their crappy game around on them. Smart people figure out that their game stinks and they don't do it any more. Dumb people keeping playing the same ol game thinking it's going to be different somehow.

    Sure people are entitled to a bad day but you can tell the customers who are just total duds to someone who is just having an off night.




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    Senior Member millions_of_peaches's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    It's likely guys coming into the club that can't really afford it. They don't have the balls to own up to it, so they just rudely shut down any advances.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    Quote Originally Posted by millions_of_peaches View Post
    It's likely guys coming into the club that can't really afford it. They don't have the balls to own up to it, so they just rudely shut down any advances.
    This is true. But if someone is rude to me, I'm just rude right back to them. The most times we get an immediate "no" is when the rednecks invade LV and that's whenever the rodeo or nascar hits.

    When I first began dancing, a few girls said their response to guys who gave an immediate "no" was something like "I was gonna ask if you'd like a blow job but with that attitude you can forget it!"

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    Being rude right back to them creates a lose-lose situation. Sure, they're being stingy w/the funds, but it IS their choice how to spend it. Just be graceful about their rejection. I like to say "hello" to everyone anyways, so I put a little reverse psychology into play w/guys like these.

    I smile, extend my hand & tell them something like "I know you weren't raised in a barn & I'm sure you were taught it's polite to at least say hello!" or "it's not like I'm asking you to marry me!" They end up laughing, we shake hands & exchange hellos, I tell them my name & bounce off. Now I'm in their head (in a good way) - all cheerful & positive, so that by the time I make my rounds again, they're so turned off by the other girls who were rude, that they can't wait to give me all their hard earned money! Works every time.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    deleted
    Last edited by bigbangburrito; 07-01-2013 at 12:17 PM.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    I can walk around and get told no by 3/4 the people in the club, but at least I talked to everyone and sold to a quarter of them, and it only takes one really big fat yes to make a lot of money.

    I don't dwell on the immediate nos and I don't take the time to make them feel good, I just nod and walk away.
    Yes, I'm real.

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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    ^^I had a spell where this seemed to happen a lot several years back. It sucks bad! Some guys would just yell NO at me before I got right up to them. One guy yelled and startled me so badly I damn near fell. I took a few days off and got myself in a better frame of mind and that seemed to help a lot. I'm not sure if I had a desperate look at the time or what?
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    Alot of times they mean : im not spending any money, no im not spending any money right now or , no your not my type.

    I chuckle and say "no what" no you cant believe you finally met me? Insert your own laughable yet flirty comment.

    Find out which no they mean. I sell to these douchebags alot-only when they mean no your not my type or No im broke is it a lost cause.

    But hey find out fast and then atleast it went down quick. If they say I only likeblondes, redhead etc...maybe offer to find one...if you think youll get a tip.

    This response is so common that i dont care.

    If the guy is really jerky respond back No what? you dont like women? you only come to sit for free and make our lives hell? Smile and laugh as you say this. I never appear upset when i jab at the custies i always let them know that their off behavior amuses me and is just OFF.
    I always tell these guys to "attempt to have an excellent night" with a huge smile.

    But on another note a custie is not a douche for telling you that he isnt going to spend on you, hes saving you time. Especially if he has another type of girl in mind. Just let them know its okay to say "No THANK YOU, im looking for something else."

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    I think its rude when guys respond with no, before you even ask them anything. Its happened to me before, and I generally just walk away. I thank them for saving me time, but there is a better way to turn down an advance and tell a girl you're not interested. Waiting until a girl opens her mouth to do so would be good for starters. I agree that you shouldn't be rude back, but poke fun of them in a funny sort of way like some of the other girls have mentioned here. Luckily this isn't a common occurence at my club.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    When I walk up to a guy, and say hello, and he doesn't say hi back I say, "Didn't ya momma teach you to say Hi?" I add other stuff behind that based on how I feeling. Like I might say, " I didn't say give me your wallet. I said hi. You can't speak?"

    I have they're attention after the momma thing, and most of them are sorry for being rude.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    I don't really understand why anyone is upset with being told no. I think they're doing you a favor by not wasting your time. For all you know, the guy only likes asians, or black girls, or blondes, or women old enough to be his mother, etc. I don't understand the attitude that every guy should be open to buying a dance from every woman in the club.

    I've worked with some dancers that I thought were repulsive. If I had entered the club as a customer I would've given them an immediate no to save them time and make them leave me alone. If you push the issue, be prepared for the answer, you might not like it.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    Quote Originally Posted by minalynx View Post

    I smile, extend my hand & tell them something like "I know you weren't raised in a barn & I'm sure you were taught it's polite to at least say hello!" or "it's not like I'm asking you to marry me!" They end up laughing, we shake hands & exchange hellos, I tell them my name & bounce off. Now I'm in their head (in a good way) - all cheerful & positive, so that by the time I make my rounds again, they're so turned off by the other girls who were rude, that they can't wait to give me all their hard earned money! Works every time.
    This has worked very well for me in the past. After hearing bitchy retorts from several other girls because they couldn't handle rejection, I've made my way back around the room and now they want to talk to someone who doesn't feel the need to insult their penis size or question their sexuality over a simple no.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    They probably can't afford to get a dance or nothing, do you see them getting dances with other girls or are they just rejecting you for some reason? Another reason could be that they just want a free show, get off on the dancers, but not having to spend any money on them.
    ME: Your done already?!? Frickin b*****!

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    I don't really understand why anyone is upset with being told no. I think they're doing you a favor by not wasting your time. For all you know, the guy only likes asians, or black girls, or blondes, or women old enough to be his mother, etc. I don't understand the attitude that every guy should be open to buying a dance from every woman in the club.

    I've worked with some dancers that I thought were repulsive. If I had entered the club as a customer I would've given them an immediate no to save them time and make them leave me alone. If you push the issue, be prepared for the answer, you might not like it.
    I don't think its just about being told no, its about guys saying no before you ask them anything, or when you are just walking over. I think its just basic manners to wait until someone asks for something before you say no. I don't think it is the rudest thing a guy could do but it is rude. I don't waste my time with these guys I just nod and move on. I do get what you mean because I would rather have a guy give an instant no, then let me sit and chat when he has no intent of spending $$ on me or at least buying a drink or tipping me. I've worked with girls I find repulsive too, but when you come to a SC you know you are going to get approached by girls you don't like. Thats really not an excuse to be rude, and saying no before I open my mouth is rude as is saying no when I simply head in your direction. Its like the guys who wave you off with their hand instead of responding. I agree that you should not give a bitchy retort, but poking fun of them a lil" can make them realize their being kinda rude. And yes I would not push the issue about "why" a guy doesn't want a dance with you, it is probably not the best idea to press it!
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

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    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

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    Last edited by bigbangburrito; 07-01-2013 at 12:17 PM.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    I prefer an immediate no to a time waster who acts interested, buys you a drink, wastes 10 mins of your time and then says no.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    Quote Originally Posted by bigbangburrito View Post
    Again, I think these guys are doing you a favor by not wasting your time. The ones that bother me are those who act interested and sit with you for twenty minutes and then back out when it comes time to dance.

    How do you react when a telemarketer calls you? Are you friendly and let them talk for minutes giving their pitch? Or, do you interupt them and tell them you aren't interested? If they then continue pitching do you then hang up? I imagine our customers are thinking this way. Pitch to those who want your product.
    This is a bit different than telemarketers and door to door salespeople, because you KNOW that when you come to a SC, you are going to get approached, and not every dancer that comes your way is going to be your cup of tea. If I'm just sitting at home minding my own business, then I am not 'asking' to be bothered by you and whatever your selling. If you don't want to be bothered by the strippers then stay the hell out the club. Be prepared to decline plenty of girls, don't be rude we are just doing our job. I agree a wave off or immediate no is better than a complete time waster, but that is not an ideal or polite reaction to have when a dancer approaches you. Once a customer politely tells a girl he is not interested and she still insists on hanging around, then I understand if he gets a bit firm. To say "NO" before I've said anything to you, is completely fucking rude. Typically a dancer is just going to say one line or two before she makes a pitch anyway. If a guy has to interupt a dancer to tell her he's not interested because she goes on and on and on and on, then fine. But most dancers say, "Hi, I'm ______ would you like some company?" Or "Wannadance" Or some other line where the custy can let her know it ain't gonna happen quickly AFTER she opens her mouth. There is just no excuse for rude behavior. I don't ask for dances in a rude way, so please don't decline me in a rude way. Thats just my take on it.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

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    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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  29. #21
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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    I get the whole not having my time wasted and agree. What I'm talking about is a huge club with 60 plus girls and about 10 of them made tip out tonight. 3 people sold champagne all night long. This isn't just one night either. 80% no's in some way is to be expected, but that's not what I'm dealing with here. It's the way we're being told no, the amount of guys doing it and this is an all of a sudden trend. It's not as if something changed about my looks that made me less their type than the week before this started so I don't think it's that blonds with big boobs are a less desirable type all of a sudden either lol. I have to be somebody's type, and we all have sort of a niche of custies that we know will say yes usually. Now imagine going in to work tomorrow and every guy just flat out says no. We have 50 girls complaining of the same thing if 10% are making money. It's gotten slightly better since the last post(people probably got rude to be honest), but still not to the point where guys will let you sit down with them. I get we're not all going to make a huge amount, but not even tip out is ridiculous. I'm talking about working over 8 hours and hearing this all night. I worked 9 hours and 3 people even let me sit with them. I wasn't unique. They let no one sit with them to try to sell them.
    I don't whine, I don't cry. I try everyone. However when this happens you can run through 100 guys quick. Actually now it's more like 30 customers and 60 girls which adds to the frustration when you see girl after girl have this happen to them.I've even tried sympathizing and saying "Well I just wanted to keep you from being ambushed by one girl after the next." I added up my money from last month when this wasn't happening and this month and my pay went down over $4000.
    A beer in my club is almost $5 and shots start at $7.50 (compared to $2 domestics and cheap college town bar liquor where I live) so I know they have some money to sit and drink that for 3 or 4 hours. I may ask the non drinkers for a dance, but unless they have some excuse for not even having a coke I've learned they really don't have any money and don't waste my time.
    PS Hope this makes sense

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    It sounds like they just don't feel like they have the money to spend. This is historically the WORST time of year for strippers in most parts of the US. The older guys with money are sending their kids back to school, paying tuition, buying clothes and supplies, finishing family vacations, etc. The younger guys are going back to college. Those in between have partied all summer and are broke for now.

    End of summer is a shit time of year for business in general. People just don't spend much money now. Add that we're in a recession and alot of people in SC are anti-Obama conservatives in a foul mood over him and his policies, and you've got a bad mix.

    The point is, it's not you. There isn't much you can do except ride out this crap time until fall kicks in and business picks up...after Labor Day at least.

    I would suggest taking a few days off to relax and get into a better mood too. If you're feeling frustrated and desperate, you project that at work more than you realize, and that only keeps the cycle going. Time off can do a world of good.

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    Featured Member goreantx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    Quote Originally Posted by pogocat View Post
    It's the way we're being told no, the amount of guys doing it and this is an all of a sudden trend.
    Sometimes it feels like you have to remind them that people come to strip clubs to get dances. I think they all read that stupid "how to date a stripper" ebook and are convinced they don't have to spend money.

    Still, there are guys out there who know the game. You just have to keep your chin up and keep fishing.
    Yes, I'm real.

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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    i went through a phase like this back when the economy was better and plenty of girls at my club made over 1k a night. just happened. made me miserable. one guy actually yelled. another pushed me over. seriously. pushed me. my gm explained that a lot (not all, maybe half) of guys who come to clubs are losers who don't know how to deal with women, or else they wouldn't be in a strip club paying for attention, and i guess it's true. but it was still pretty upsetting.

    it happens.

    right now, it's probably about the time of year.

    so, you said you've got the blonde/big boobs thing going. instead of going more glamorous, i'd recommend toning it down. the very least amount of makeup you can get away with. boring hairstyle. plainest outfit you've got. no jewelry. guys are weird. and when times are rough, i've noticed that looking less hot is better for money. guys think you're more real. they don't assume you've made a grand already. and yeah, they think you'll dance dirty.

    refer back to the thing my gm said. lol.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immediate "No"

    say yes and drag them to the back

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