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Thread: Asking for Handouts

  1. #1
    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Asking for Handouts

    Did I miss the memo where anytime someone dies, their family members are expected to set up a paypal account and collect donations? I'm really disgusted by this practice. I heard that someone's husband died on the site I write for so I popped into the forums there to offer my condolences and they're asking for handouts.

    I'm sorry but WTF? This is not a young couple, why didn't they have life insurance or savings. The guy has been sick for some time, he's not a 22 year old who just randomly keeled over.

    I think what really bothered me is the amount of people who posted to the thread with comments like "I think everybody should be able to write a few extra articles to donate money."

    Yeah, all 20,000 writers on the site should send this lady 30-40 bucks because she deserves to be filthy stinking rich... ugh... It's never enough to just say "I'm sorry for your loss" anymore you have to ignore the outstretched hand and expectant eyes and the catty remarks from other people who think you should "just give her some money, she's sad!" Fuck that noise.

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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    Why the fuck would she be entitled to any money? I'd understand if she desperatly needed it for the funeral, but this? Nah.

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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    What happened to cooking a dinner for them if they were your friends and just saying "Sorry for you loss." to acquaintances?

    When my mom's identical twin died last year we certainly didn't do this. People sent flowers and a couple of sandwhich trays and I think her Daughter got a Lasagna and a bunch of cards. Appropriate condolences imo.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Featured Member vmurphy252's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    ^Yeah, never really saw this when my parents died. Meals for a wake, that kind of thing, yeah, but don't recall getting any cash. Maybe they'll start having a "death registry" to go along with weddings and babies?

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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    If I felt the urge to give my condolences with money, I would do so on my own, NOT because pepople got their grubby paws out. Ugh!

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    Featured Member pixierocksonthepole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    That's so rude. It's asking too much when you should've been prepared, it's not like its some phenomenon that people pass away. Prepare.





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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    I don't know. I think if people are really in need, it's an ok thing to do. If they had fallen on hard times shortly before the death- lost their jobs, lost their savings, had been living paycheck to paycheck and really cannot afford a simple funeral, then people in that situation shouldn't be made to feel shamed for asking for a little help. I don't know the specifics of the situation you're talking about, but it sounds like that's not the case.
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    Veteran Member justifymylove's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    In my family we have an understanding that instead of spending money on flowers you can make a small donation, which would be put toward a charity for the sake of the deceased person (either a charity they supported, or say the Canadian Cancer Society.) It's never a requirement though, it's just preferred over elaborate flower arrangements.

    But this situation is weird. They want money... just because?

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    This seems to be a new trend, and it's really disgusting to me.
    "My husband/wife died. So please donate to this fund that goes to me because you feel bad."


    If they need it, it's one thing... but a lot of the time... it really doesn't seem to be the case.
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    Default Re: Asking for Handouts

    Is the family of the deceased the ones asking for money? If that's so, that's just wrong. I know that a death in the family can cause financial strain, as well as the emotional toll it takes on the family. But I think if someone other than the family asked for donations that would be OK. One club I worked at used to do fund raisers for people when they had a death in the family, but the family of the deceased never initiated this, it was friends that decided to do it for them to help them out.

    I personally can't imagine asking for money in that time. When my Dad and Sister passed away this was the farthest from my mind, my mom and I asked for nothing. We got a lot of love and support, and of course a lot of food. Asking for a donation to a charity of the deceased is perfectly fine, but asking for cash out right is tacky, it's like asking for cash for a wedding present to me, in bad taste.

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