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Thread: Stress and $$$$

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    Veteran Member Shy_Guy's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Stress and $$$$

    I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday. She was telling me how she had a great night the day before, and her mom pointed out that she always makes money when she's not stressed about it. As in not needing to make X amount that night or having a big bill looming over her.

    We talked about it, and for her, that extra stress really seems to show up. Whether it effects her hustle, or it shows up in her body language, the need to make money sabotages her ability to make money.

    Thoughts? Maybe you're the opposite (the stress drives you more?)
    -SG

    Love & Peace (& Doughnuts)

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    I would agree with this. I think the goal though is to get to the point where you have at least a savings/checking account with enough to sustain you for a 6 month living period so you aren't so stressed from day to day.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Veteran Member Shy_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    ^ True, but things do happen. I was curious what effect that stress had an others. Does it make you into super-hustlers? Or does it adversely impact your earnings?
    -SG

    Love & Peace (& Doughnuts)

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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    This is another question which gets the typical SC response ... it depends.

    The job in and of itself is stressful enough. External pressures can tend to manifest themselves in negative ways which can then effect one's hustle.

    However, having a some pressure can also help one focus on the goal at hand and motivate a dancer to ask for one more dance when she might otherwise take a break at the bar or run off to the dressing room.

    The SC environment is fairly dynamic and things tend of eb and flow even over the course of a single shift. A customer, good or bad, early on can sometimes have a significant impact on ones shift.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    I agree that when I don't need the money, I tend to do better. Also though, when I go to work pissed off about something, I *always* do great. Always. It's wierd and always happens. Or if I *really really* don't feel like going to work. I tend to do very well as well. *shrug*

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    Veteran Member Shy_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung View Post
    This is another question which gets the typical SC response ... it depends.

    Actually, that's the response I'm looking for, the individual stories. Not looking for the One True Answer.
    -SG

    Love & Peace (& Doughnuts)

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    Whatever we're feeling at the time, we give off that energy - positive (refreshing to be around, more receptive & approachable) or negative (draining to be around, unpleasant & toxic to others).

    I've noticed that more people are drawn to me when I'm in a positive state of mind & I usually get the weirdos (or no one at all) when I'm ticked off. I understand that sometimes it's unavoidable to have to work when you're stressed, but take a few deep breaths, surround yourself with positivity & visualize your needs being met. The moment you stop chasing it, it will run after you.

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    Quote Originally Posted by Shy_Guy View Post
    Actually, that's the response I'm looking for, the individual stories. Not looking for the One True Answer.
    Well then, you've come to the right place....

    Most of my favs would say that they prefer to take a day off when they are in a crappy mood about money, the job or life in general. It just isn't always possible to do that however.
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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung View Post
    This is another question which gets the typical SC response ... it depends.

    The job in and of itself is stressful enough. External pressures can tend to manifest themselves in negative ways which can then effect one's hustle.

    However, having a some pressure can also help one focus on the goal at hand and motivate a dancer to ask for one more dance when she might otherwise take a break at the bar or run off to the dressing room.

    The SC environment is fairly dynamic and things tend of eb and flow even over the course of a single shift. A customer, good or bad, early on can sometimes have a significant impact on ones shift.
    agreed 100%
    times when i have had external money conficts (car accident right before work that needs repairs, cat sick and in the hospital) i have busted my ass an dworked harder and without breaks between customers. however when im stressed out over that shift being slow and not making money the first few hours of it, sometimes i develop grouchy body language or an attitude that the customers might be able to pick up on and it hurts my money making even more.

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    From my experience of such things, body language has a lot to do with it.

    We all subconsiously read it to some degree or another, so dancers (and customers) are continually broadcasting clues about their mental attitude. So if a dancer is stressed, she broadcasts it - and if she's feeling positive about herself she broadcasts it.

    Most customers want to think that that as well as the obvious financial motive, there's some degree of personal liking for them. So, a dancer that's stressed is not as likely to generate the appropriate body language as a dancer that's feeling positive about herself.

    I have occasionally taught dancers how to understand (and mimic) body language - I've often been surprised how much the resulting minor changes in their body language have boosted their earnings.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    The biggest barrier to success in any endeavour is the belief that you will not be succesful.

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    I would say Kylea has summarized the situation beautifully. But I would like to add my few cents as well.

    I used to be fiscally irresponsible when I was a young man. Meaning, I bought things that were way beyond my means. End result was a negligible bank account. So things would go great as long as I had the job. But as soon as the job was gone, I would be under tremendous pressure to get a new one. This created all sorts of problem for me. For example, I had to take jobs that I did not want; I could not negotiate the salary from a position of strength. Etc.

    Then I realized that this was not the way to be. And, I became what they call fiscally responsible. The interesting thing was it did not take too long to accumulate adequate revenue that would allow survival for a long time without the job. This opened my eyes and boosted my self-confidence. This newfound self-confidence reflected during the interview processes. I negotiated my salaries well. I made sure that I was only accepting the projects I would really enjoy working on. And stuffs like that.

    Once you achieve a high level of confidence then it becomes very easy sometimes to show arrogance. I would like to narrate a story to make this point. I went for an interview. I walked tall. I talked slowly. I was doing everything right from the perspective of confidence. I was smiling. I was joking. Things were moving great. I was leaning back on my chair. Relaxed. As if I were talking to people in a lounge. Then I put my left feet on the table. Very quickly, I realized that it was a bad idea because it was a professional meeting. So be confident and yet respect other people’s comfort zone. It is very important to not appear obnoxious.

    The battle does not end with mastering the behavioral characteristics. Next challenge is to learn to motivate yourself even when your belly is full. Meaning if a potential client calls you when you are lounging in a resort, you should spring into action right away. It will take only a few minutes to take a call or respond to an email but these things will ensure that you have plenty of work when you return from the vacation. So, maintain a disciplined outlook about your profession.

    Once you have created a smooth path, you will need very little work to keep the things moving for you. However in the beginning, it does require discipline, hard work, intellect and a burning desire to excel to reach there.

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    Quote Originally Posted by Shy_Guy View Post
    I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday. She was telling me how she had a great night the day before, and her mom pointed out that she always makes money when she's not stressed about it. As in not needing to make X amount that night or having a big bill looming over her.

    We talked about it, and for her, that extra stress really seems to show up. Whether it effects her hustle, or it shows up in her body language, the need to make money sabotages her ability to make money.

    Thoughts? Maybe you're the opposite (the stress drives you more?)
    Stress makes me a shitty earner. That's why now I like to pay clumps of my bills months in advance (like 3 months rent or something) and save 25% of what I make every night. I'm not a good scrambler.

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    Stress really kills my money.
    When I need to make it... I never do if I'm stressing over whatever it is I need it for.
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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    I definatly make more $$$ when I've had a good day, and am happy and excited to be making money.

    If I'm thinking about quotas or if Im preoccupied with something that happened earlier that day, my wallet feels it at the end of the night.


    My mood factors into it more than if its a Monday (slow night) or a Saturday (best night at my club).

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    If I feel a "pressure" to go to work, from a bill looming over me or a bad day, a fight with a friend or AJ, I always do AMAZINGLY SHITTY. I mean horrible. I usually don't even make house. That was a huge factor in my decision to go back to dancing - if I don't feel like going, I ain't stepping a toe in that club.

    On the other hand, if I'm feeling good and like I just want to "have fun" and kick back, I do great. I think with my personality type the customers and other girls can tell I'm just not feeling it. The fact that I tend to ooze my emotions out of my skin can be a good thing sometimes - but when I'm stressed or grossed out or whatever, it can really be harmful.

    Just my 2 cents.
    "The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
    ...sweet things alone are not enough. Seduce me with more fire."

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    I'm the same way MM. If I'm having a shitty day and am in a horrible mood, I have a really hard time making money. Which, of course, can easily make the problem worse, because I'm then keenly aware of my bad performance and that makes me feel even worse and it all just snowballs.

    Unfortunately, all the clubs in my area have schedules. So I can't always just go in when I'm having a good day. So, I found a way of dealing with it. When I'm really feeling in the dumps, and have to go to work, I just tell myself that I don't care about making money today (we don't have much of a house fee, just a 10%tip out, so that helps). I just tell myself I'm just going to have a blast, like I'm going clubbing. I just enjoy putting my outfits together, getting a few free drinks, stage dancing to good music, and hanging out with my friends. I just keep telling myself money doesn't matter tonight, so I let myself off the hook for not making any. It always helps me turn it around, and because I'm so free of stress and just focusing on having fun, the money starts coming again. It usually turns out to be an average night at least, despite not hustling very hard, and sometimes they've turned out to be awesome nights.
    Last edited by Elvia; 09-17-2009 at 04:09 PM.
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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    When i'm worried about how much I need to make, it shows, no matter how hard I try. I always make the best money when I am not thinking about needing a particular amount.

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    Default Re: Stress and $$$$

    This is absolutely true. I am fiscally responsible but when my father was in the hospital it destroyed my hustle to the point where I was leaving with half to a quarter of what I normally make. This in turn has left me financially uncomfortable, as in I hope to god my car doesn't break down or that one of my cats get sick because that would mean I'd have to drain the savings I have been working very hard to put together. So while my hustle is now better it still isn't back up to par. Basically, the problem lingers on long after the initial stressor. I ended up choosing to take a few days off with my love despite losing money to recharge my batteries because I know that it isn't really a loss in the long run. I will make up that money and more tonight and next week because I'm centered again. My game is back on! I would rather work smarter than longer, if that makes sense... I can make more on one night when my brain is in order than on three days when I am scared and stressed.

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