Ok so last week i called and asked my local Deja Vu when to come in for an audition, and everything i needed. I was told 9-12 at night, and given a small list. What type of thong, pasties, etc. My local one is a no contact, thong, and pasties required type place. I did my nails, got the stuff i needed, outfit, shoes, everything.
Monday night i go there at 10:30 with my bf in tow for support. I tell the bouncer im there to audition, and he tells me ok, but the bf cant come in with me. I have to do it alone. I was really sad, but with him walking in with me i was ok. Im pointed in the direction of the manager by the bouncer. I go talk to him and he tells me it's too late that night, the girls are already on their rotation, and i should come back tomorrow between 8-830. I say ok and tried not to look to disappointed, and walked to go out where the bouncer just gives me this look like "what just happened, why u back so soon?" I tell him he told me it was to late tonight. The bouncer told me to for sure come back, that i will get hired. I go back out to the car, and get the same look from my bf of wtf, and i tell him what happened. The bouncer had come out to get something for one of the dancers, and so my bf asked him if he thought i would get hired, or if it was worth even coming back. He said for sure they would hire me, just come in another night. That he didnt know why he turned me away to begin with.
So Tuesday i get all ready again, and im so nervous. Way more than last night cause i know im alone. We drive there again, and i get out to go in. I get halfway to the door, and i chicken out. I go to the drivers side and tell him i dont think i can do it. He basically said we need the money, we're vested in this, and blah blah blah. Nothing supportive. I know he's frustrated with money now too, so i cut him some slack, but i really needed words of encouragement, not a guilt trip. This morning though he was really nice, and talked to me about it. But said he's not going there a bunch of times just for me to leave again.
I want to do this, i want the money, i dont know what my problem is. Im not insecure with my body, i used to dance for cheerleading and dance team no problem in high school. I dont know if it's that i think ill freeze, or what. Someone please help. Anyone do this before?


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but next time i go i'll make sure its the first thing i do it looks like fun

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