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Thread: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

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    Default Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Right now both women I've been seeing recently are dancers, one current (met in SC) and one former (company party). Before you start thinking I'm trying to be a player, please realize that I haven't known either of these incredible women for very long. Both are pursuing careers in law (my field as well), and there's a good chance that I'll end up in a long-term relationship with one of them.

    I'd like to have a deeper understanding of what it means to be a stripper. I've never dated anyone in the adult entertainment industry before. I used to enjoy an occasional trip to a SC, about 4 times a year, but suddenly exotic dancing is a major topic in my life. I'm fascinated but a little frightened!

    I've looked on Amazon.com and there are quite a few memoirs by current and former strippers. Any suggestions? Documentaries, films, novels, academic treatments, anything like that is great as well, as long as it's genuine and casts light on the subject.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Wherever View Post
    Any suggestions? Documentaries, films, novels, academic treatments, anything like that is great as well, as long as it's genuine and casts light on the subject.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Wherever View Post
    ... I'd like to have a deeper understanding of what it means to be a stripper. ...
    IMO this is a bad idea, as it will likely only lead you to form generalized opinions which may have nothing to do with these particular women.

    You mention that you're seeking a career in Law. Should I go watch movies like The Practice, Rainmaker or The Client? Should I watch shows like Law & Order, Alley McBeal, Perry Mason or Matlock? By watching these, would I be able to encapsulate you and be able to form an accurate opinion of your experience? Probably not.

    I mean, if she were a nurse or doctor would you start watching episodes of ER, Scrubs, House, Grey's Anatomy or General Hostpital to get a better understanding of her? I would hope not.

    Keep in mind tha most books and documentaries are produced in order to attract readership/viewership. They tend to look for a hook or a compelling story. You'd be hard pressed to find a documentary of a dancer who's just working through college and saving money for her future, while not being on drugs, not in an abusive relationship, etc. Or a book about a single mom who's dancing so she can earn enough to support her kids while still having plenty of hours to spend taking care of them.

    Heck, take a popular dancer movie such as "Dancing At the Blue Iguana". Every character has an issue (incest, abusive boyfriend, assassin admirer, pregnancy, drugs, etc.) Whenever I've watched that movie I joke to myself that the normal dancers are the extras (no pun intended) who are walking around in the background that we never even hear about.

    Even if you do find something to watch or read, it may be about a dancer in huge vegas club where contact is the norm, whereas the dancers you know may work in some small neighborhood bar that only does air dances.

    Take a look at the threads on this site, and you will see a variety of answers and feedback to practically every topic. While some are the same, there's usually at least one who sees things differently. Why? Because each dancer on here is an individual with her own experiences.

    My guess is that you're on this quest because you already have some concerns or some jaded opinions that you're hoping to either dismiss or verify. Best to just let them go. Don't let some outside reference influence your opinion of an individual. Open your mind and your heart and let them show you who they are and what they are about.

    Best of luck.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Read around here a bit if you want a good understanding. There are many different personality types on here and you'll see just how different each dancer is...kinda like regular women.

    Just ignore a few of the male posters that like to aggravate the hell out of us by insinuating all dancers are prostitutes (Hi there Earl! ).
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    ^Thank you for the specificity...

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    "How to Make Love Like a Pornstar" Jenna Jameson

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Wherever View Post
    Right now both women I've been seeing recently are dancers, one current (met in SC) and one former (company party). Before you start thinking I'm trying to be a player, please realize that I haven't known either of these incredible women for very long. Both are pursuing careers in law (my field as well), and there's a good chance that I'll end up in a long-term relationship with one of them.
    I think you are better off reading here and talking to your two women friends if you really want insight. Every book needs a publisher and every publisher wants a book that, quite frankly, will sell a lot of books. If you want the truth you are better off talking to real people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I think you are better off reading here and talking to your two women friends if you really want insight. Every book needs a publisher and every publisher wants a book that, quite frankly, will sell a lot of books. If you want the truth you are better off talking to real people.
    Yep, and trust me, my life is WAY too boring to sell books. No drugs, little alcohol, no late night parties, no blatant promiscuity. Boooring! Hell at one point I worked as an accountant by day and was in bed by 9pm every night I wasn't working. Now I'm just a boring PTA mom who works from home.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    How about "Strip City" by Lily Burana? Its an interesting memoir. Of course, she danced in very specific regions over a specific time, ending in the 1990's. Things are much different in other states, countries, and in our current time.

    I've found that when I'm starting to date someone, I will volunteer stories of being a stripper on my own. For the most part, it isn't all the interesting or exciting. But there are some definite doozies to tell. If one girl was an airdancer at a show club in Manhatten during the dot com boom, and the other lapdances at a dive in some podunk town now..their jobs may be quite different.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    I have read some very good scientific papers psychological aspects of stripping especially in the area of dissociation.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung View Post
    ...You mention that you're seeking a career in Law. Should I go watch movies like The Practice, Rainmaker or The Client? Should I watch shows like Law & Order, Alley McBeal, Perry Mason or Matlock? By watching these, would I be able to encapsulate you and be able to form an accurate opinion of your experience? Probably not.
    I mean, if she were a nurse or doctor would you start watching episodes of ER, Scrubs, House, Grey's Anatomy or General Hostpital to get a better understanding of her? I would hope not.

    Keep in mind that most books and documentaries are produced in order to attract readership/viewership. They tend to look for a hook or a compelling story. You'd be hard pressed to find a documentary of a dancer who's just working through college and saving money for her future, while not being on drugs, not in an abusive relationship, etc. Or a book about a single mom who's dancing so she can earn enough to support her kids while still having plenty of hours to spend taking care of them.
    ...
    My guess is that you're on this quest because you already have some concerns or some jaded opinions that you're hoping to either dismiss or verify. Best to just let them go. Don't let some outside reference influence your opinion of an individual. Open your mind and your heart and let them show you who they are and what they are about.
    Best of luck.
    I hear what you're saying, but whenever I'm interested in any subject I try to read as much as I can about it. When I was pre-law, I read countless books and watched countless movies, both non-fiction and fiction, about law school and different careers in the field, and hopefully gained some insight from it. But maybe there's not much out there of value concerning strippers. The current dancer is an immigrant from South Asia, and I've done a lot of reading about her home country. Look, I'm an infatuated nerd . . .

    But yeah, you're probably right, it's about time to stop the exotic dancing research and just get to know these two women.

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    Yep, and trust me, my life is WAY too boring to sell books. No drugs, little alcohol, no late night parties, no blatant promiscuity. Boooring! Hell at one point I worked as an accountant by day and was in bed by 9pm every night I wasn't working. Now I'm just a boring PTA mom who works from home.
    Your point is well taken, but...

    So far I have found one book that's illuminating (recommended to me by the current dancer): Flesh for Fantasy: Producing and Consuming Exotic Dance. It was compiled by three former exotic dancers who all now work in academia. It's essays are all written by former and current dancers and clients, and they seem to be high on honesty, and low on shock value. The book, despite it's dry subtitle, usually manages to stay grounded and real.

    And hopefully reading the sections by strippers in Paying for It: A Guide by Sex Workers for Their Clients by Greta Christina has made me a better SC customer.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    flesh for fantasy is crap. a bunch of grad students from sf 'self-ethnographing'. and note that they couldn't even find customers who'd use their real names.

    there is no decent writing about dancing and dancers, as all the writing is done by women who don't make much money in the work. there is one exception, but she was dancing because she had a chip on her shoulder about being lower-class and going to an ivy league school.

    anyway you shouldn't read up on a lady's profession just because she is a dancer. it's kind of creepy and weird.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lklucky View Post
    "How to Make Love Like a Pornstar" Jenna Jameson
    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    How about "Strip City" by Lily Burana? Its an interesting memoir. Of course, she danced in very specific regions over a specific time, ending in the 1990's. Things are much different in other states, countries, and in our current time.
    Thanks, I'll check those out.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by miabella View Post
    there is no decent writing about dancing and dancers, as all the writing is done by women who don't make much money in the work.
    An exception is "Baby Oil and Ice" by Lara Clifton. She was a working (and very bright) dancer who got together with a couple of photographers and documented the life of a dancer in pretty realistic detail. For example several of the shots are of chaotic and very messy dressing rooms.

    It didn't sell well - probably because it wasn't full of shots of naked ladies, but read it a few times and you got a pretty strong impression of what it was like to go behind the scenes with a working dancer.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    An exception is "Baby Oil and Ice" by Lara Clifton. She was a working (and very bright) dancer who got together with a couple of photographers and documented the life of a dancer in pretty realistic detail. For example several of the shots are of chaotic and very messy dressing rooms.

    It didn't sell well - probably because it wasn't full of shots of naked ladies, but read it a few times and you got a pretty strong impression of what it was like to go behind the scenes with a working dancer.

    Phil.
    Sounds interesting, but I wonder how much this British book would shed light on the American dancing scene.

    Quote Originally Posted by miabella View Post
    flesh for fantasy is crap. a bunch of grad students from sf 'self-ethnographing'. and note that they couldn't even find customers who'd use their real names.
    ...
    anyway you shouldn't read up on a lady's profession just because she is a dancer. it's kind of creepy and weird.
    I can understand your criticism of Flesh for Fantasy. But all the same you've got to love the sex-positive SF types, wish my city had more of that! And I guess (though I'm embarrassed to say it) I needed to be patted on the head and told that everything is okay by anthropologist former dancers. Maybe the current dancer understood that.

    As far as me being "creepy and weird," hopefully I only come off like that in this anonymous setting. They haven't run away screaming yet!

    I think verfolgung and KiwiStrawberry Splenda are correct, this forum does seem to be my best resource for accomplishing my quest. Though it would be way too creepy and weird to mention the fact that I've logged onto this web site to either woman.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    ^^their self-absorption isn't sex-positive, just silly.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Why don't you just treat them like women instead of strippers?

    My last bf was a lawyer. I knew he had a stressful job. Strippers have stressful jobs. That's all you really need to know.

    Sometimes things that get over analyzed don't need to be.

    I still don't know what it's like to be a stripper. I go to the club and leave with money for being a woman.

    Can't say even being a stripper I've ever had a desire to watch Zombie Strippers. Just FYI.




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    Veteran Member Lklucky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    I'm going to disagree with the people who don't think stripping is any different than other careers; there's definitely an element of vulnerablity when you have your clothes off and are presenting yourself in a sexual way for money. It's almost ALMOST a form of denial to say it's like any other job. side note: I really think that only actual dancers should be answering this question, why on earth are there male members commenting here?

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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    ^^^ Lklucky, please understand that my post in particular was not trying to say "stripping" was no different than other industries. My point is, doing research to gain a general understanding on a topic is one thing; however, watching videos or reading books about a profession in the hope of gaining some insite about a particular person is something different. If research is the course the OP chooses, he should be aware of the dangers of possibly being misled by his findings. My suggustion was that the better course is to simply let the person reveal themself, rather than relying on some third party reference material.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lklucky View Post
    I really think that only actual dancers should be answering this question, why on earth are there male members commenting here?
    To the OP you don't need no stink'n books; after you date dancers all will become manifest.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    i've read both jenna jameson's "how to make love like a porn star" and diablo cody's "candy girl". IMO, they were both entertaining, but i felt like diablo cody's memoirs represented several aspects of the industry that most people with "normal" jobs don't really understand. for instance, the burnout. we've all been there. diablo cody went into exuberant detail, outlining the cause and effect of her burnout period in a way anybody could understand. i felt that jenna's autobiography described a very different experience - one highly successful that resulted in a hollywood porn career. not all of us are so lucky.

    i dont know. i prefer the realistic version myself.





    there's a link to purchase the book, or read a description about it.


    -kaydence love

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    "Candy Girl" is an AWESOME book, and Diablo is a great writer. Was one of the two I was going to recommend.

    The second is "Stripped" by Brent Jordan, - excellent in every way; every dancer I know who's read it loves it and I did as well.

    Both of those fit the bill as exactly what you're asking for and are highly recommended.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lklucky View Post
    I'm going to disagree with the people who don't think stripping is any different than other careers; there's definitely an element of vulnerablity when you have your clothes off and are presenting yourself in a sexual way for money. It's almost ALMOST a form of denial to say it's like any other job.
    That makes sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by kaydence View Post
    i've read both jenna jameson's "how to make love like a porn star" and diablo cody's "candy girl". IMO, they were both entertaining, but i felt like diablo cody's memoirs represented several aspects of the industry that most people with "normal" jobs don't really understand. for instance, the burnout. we've all been there. diablo cody went into exuberant detail, outlining the cause and effect of her burnout period in a way anybody could understand. i felt that jenna's autobiography described a very different experience - one highly successful that resulted in a hollywood porn career. not all of us are so lucky.

    i dont know. i prefer the realistic version myself.





    there's a link to purchase the book, or read a description about it.


    -kaydence love
    I'll check that out as well. I haven't read the book yet of course, and don't know why Candy Girl burned out, but I don't know how y'all do it. Just two hours of speed dating and I'm spent.

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    "Candy Girl" is an AWESOME book, and Diablo is a great writer. Was one of the two I was going to recommend.

    The second is "Stripped" by Brent Jordan, - excellent in every way; every dancer I know who's read it loves it and I did as well.

    Both of those fit the bill as exactly what you're asking for and are highly recommended.
    Thanks. I've got quite a long reading list to work through!

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Wherever View Post
    Just two hours of speed dating and I'm spent.
    Dancers are not there to date they are there to hustle PLs. Totally different objectives and mind sets.

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    Default Re: Best books, documentaries, etc. for better understanding of dancing and dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnytwoshoes View Post
    I have read some very good scientific papers psychological aspects of stripping especially in the area of dissociation.
    I would be very interested in reading those as well. I've been trying to search through medical archives for any psychological studies done on the psychological tolls of being a stripper and the effects, but I've yet to find any that really pertain to the topic.

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