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Thread: Private Party Rants!!!!

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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Angry Private Party Rants!!!!

    So last night was my first ever PP through my new agency, which I really can't say enough great things about! Anyways, we show up and it's a bunch of young good looking rowdy frat boy types. Whatever. We inform them in the beginning that we have a ton of ones to sell, and nobody bites. That was the first sign of cheapness. Then, we begin a double dance for the bachelor, all the while getting PELTED with balled up ones. Degrading yes, but we're still hopeful for big tips during the games.

    It all went downhill from there. We proceeded to lay the bachelor down while we searched for hidden ones in his clothes, eventually exposing his ass, then spanked him. Well his friend decided to grab the whipped cream bottle and shove it up his and spray whipped cream. The bachelor was drunk and pissed. Mob mentality set in and all the guys started hooting and hollering degrading crap. They had a porno playing, and one guy was like, "Wow, at least the porno is interesting" Shut up dude. At that point, nobody felt we were worth tipping, so one guy grabbed the belt and spanked the other dancer with it while she was bending over collecting money!!!!! Not cool!

    We tried to salvage the night by selling dances and whipped cream body shots, but nobody wanted to pay. One guy almost ripped 800 cc's off the dancer's chest, and another was snapping pictures of us off his phone, I snatched that shit out of his hand so fast! The grand finale was when a drunk guy comes out with two shaken up bottles of champagne and proceeds to spray us down head to toe at close range. The party was over at that point, and it had only been 30 minutes.

    I informed them that that was all we can take, and to pay up our 100$ each so we could drive an hour back to Dallas. The guy says we are not worth it, and he's not paying. Well, much pleading later, I got our money. He causes a scene saying he's going to call my boss and report me, asking my name. Sure buddy. She's an ex dancer and she's going to laugh in your face!

    Anyone else deal with something similar? How do you deal when PP's get out of hand???
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    I am so sorry to hear this. Talk about a terrible orientation to bachelor party dancing. First off, ALWAYS get the money upfront. When I danced, I had the bouncer (or me) get the money upfront because of things like this. Did you take a bouncer? Very important. I'm surprised you had problems with frat boys. I always had good luck when I did one for them. Then again they sound drunk and booze, guys and strippers doesn't mix.

    I had a situation that sounds like that. Most of the parties there's one jackass. Usually his friends keep him in check. There was one party though where everyone was nasty. It also turned out to be the only party I only took a friend and not a bouncer. Stupidly, I assumed the guys would be decent because they sounded nice on the phone and were cops and firefighters. First, I get there and they wanted a discount because the other person never showed up (they booked two dancers but the girl I hired never showed up). So I gave them a discount. Then I sat the groom in the middle and did a dance for him. They started throwing mushrooms at me. Then they started throwing other things. Not money though and they didn't want to tip, buy dances, buy whipped cream shots or anything. Then one guy starts calling me names and threatening me. I hurried up getting dressed and couldn't find my panties. I asked them to return it but they refused (and started threatening me). I ended up running out of there half dressed and got dressed in my friend's car. I was gone within a half hour.

    I've done hundreds of parties, and this is the one bad one. A few were cheap tippers at other parties but not nasty. I had other parties where there were nasty people but the majority were nice. This is why I always tell dancers to bring a bouncer. Most of the time you won't need one, but the time you don't bring someone is when you have problems. I've also had the issue where a guy tried to take photos but the bouncer kindly reminded him that's a no no and he stopped (or I would have left).

    I think you dealt the best you could. One rule I always had when I hired dancers was if the party gets out of hand get out as soon as possible. They aren't paying for the dancer to be abused (unless they are specifically but that's another issue). Safety comes above all else. Money can be replaced, you can't. I remember one dancer I hired had a issue like you when the guy called to complain. I took her side and almost always would because I know how guys sometimes act.

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    Veteran Member Ava Adele's Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    ok. this is what happens when complete controll is lost of the party.
    i have had some parties get out of hand, and its happened when ive had a absence of a bouncer or two. did you have your bouncer or driver there?? if not, next time take one they are so worth it just for the presence alone. having a big guy there is a plus but he doesnt have to be huge to scare them.
    as far as the pictures go, i try to keep that under controll, but these days with camera phones and such, its a real pain in the ass trying to get everyone to stop.
    also, always get your money up front ...always. alot of men are cheap bastards and will express such at such opourtune times.
    i had a party get out of hand once, i didnt know there wouldnt be a bouncer till the last miniute, cuz i thought it was the other girl taking care of it. even with two of us, there was a discrepancy on how much they owed us, and it turned into being sorely disrespected and she even had some guys throw things like beer, spit and god knows what at her car. after that, it was bouncer city for us. if a big dude was there to stop it, i bet you a million they wouldnt have pulled that shit.
    i also had a bunch of men not tip but twenty dollars between me and the other dacer, try to groupe us and then have the balls to ask us for a girl on girl show....we left after thirty miniuts.

    i guess general theme is every party will be diffrent. ive had parties where ive had a blast, and everyones made money and ive had parties where i walked out feeling nasty and degraded and seiously contemplated leaving the industry all together.
    just try to show with a bouncer next time, if you didnt this time of course, and be patient. theres alot of money in private shows, unfortunatly this day in age..its just not every show.

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    Veteran Member DancingDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    OMG what losers *hug* Im sorry you had to go through that. Iv never done any private parties because Im scared of shit like this happening. Definantly bring a bouncer next time!

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    wow.. all that for a hundred bucks? that sucks! I feel like you manager should have screened these guys first.. I have only done a few PPs but all but one time the people were screened by management who got the money up front.
    The only other time it was for a friend of the other dancer and she made sure the guys paid first and behaved themselves with me (I was a newbie at the time).
    Hope you can laugh about this crap later.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    You're going through any agency and all you get is $100? Do they pay more to the agency that you get a cut of? And how much does the agency get? That's an awfully low price, when I did parties on my own it was $250 per girl for an hour.

    Sorry you had such a bed experience, why didn't you have a bouncer? Does the agency not supply one? A good bouncer would have helped with the situation. mine would always get the $$ up front, explain the rules, pick up $$, and get on anyone that got out of control if the dancers weren't able to handle it. (luckily that never happened).

    In the future, always take a bouncer with you.

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan-Va View Post
    You're going through any agency and all you get is $100? Do they pay more to the agency that you get a cut of? And how much does the agency get? That's an awfully low price, when I did parties on my own it was $250 per girl for an hour.

    Sorry you had such a bed experience, why didn't you have a bouncer? Does the agency not supply one? A good bouncer would have helped with the situation. mine would always get the $$ up front, explain the rules, pick up $$, and get on anyone that got out of control if the dancers weren't able to handle it. (luckily that never happened).

    In the future, always take a bouncer with you.
    I get 100$ per hour just to show up, then I work on tips. I am really aiming at getting at least 300$ per hour after tips, which is MUCH better than going into work, paying a house fee, going on stage, blah blah blah. I charge for EVERYTHING (20$ dances, 10$ body shots, and eventually me and my friend are going to charge for a baby oil blow up pool show), so yes, it can be very lucrative, more so than charging a flat rate (if you know how to hustle for tips). I think the agency takes about half, and when I called around, all the agencies were around the same. There was one that only gives the girl 75$ an hour!

    I am on my own as far as security, but they guys ARE screened. They can't call and order a stripper like they order a pizza, they have to do it enough in advance for safety purposes. There's an ex floor guy I might just call up and pay like 50$ per hour to drive me around an keep everything in order. I'm still learning by trial and error!
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Veteran Member taylormadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    JD: I am glad you made it out of there safe. It sucks to have had such a bad experience with a private party.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Will the agency let you bring your own security? Even if they are screened, anything can happen, as with your experience. Do you know anyone that could bounce for you? My bouncers got a flat rate of $50 per girl but would get more once we were done. I should have stated that the fee was $250 per girl for an hour plus tips, not just a flat rate of $250. If the guys were tipping well we'd stay more than an hour, if not we were out of the when the hour was up.

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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan-Va View Post
    Will the agency let you bring your own security? Even if they are screened, anything can happen, as with your experience. Do you know anyone that could bounce for you? My bouncers got a flat rate of $50 per girl but would get more once we were done. I should have stated that the fee was $250 per girl for an hour plus tips, not just a flat rate of $250. If the guys were tipping well we'd stay more than an hour, if not we were out of the when the hour was up.
    Sigh. I do have a guy who could bounce for me, but 50$ per girl plus tips? That's kind of alot, don't you think? I mean, I really don't know, I'm new to this, and I definitely need a bouncer, but I'm just comparing to what I know they make at the club. $250 an hour PLUS tips, that's awesome! Unfortunately, that's just not the going rate around here.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Sigh. I do have a guy who could bounce for me, but 50$ per girl plus tips? That's kind of alot, don't you think?
    To ensure my safety, I don't think it's a lot. I look at it like this, $50 off the top to my bouncer so its $200 hundred for me to walk through the door.

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    I paid my bouncers $50 an hour (plus gave them a portion of the tips generally). Sounds like a lot but not really. Then again $100 hour sounds awfully low. I started at $200 and went up to $250. I paid the bouncer $50 and took $50 and the dancer got the rest. I was recently approached by an agency to do a party for $100 (and provide my own bouncer), while the agency took $150 off the bat. Turned it down because that's a rip off.

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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    ^^^ I sent you a PM!
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Got it and responded. If you have other questions don't hesitate to ask. I don't mind giving advice because I don't want to see others go through the things I did.

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    not sure if i should have read this with my first private party coming up

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    Senior Member Luna Louise's Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Wow. Fuck that. I know the scene all too well.

    Always get your money first. You showed up, get fucking paid. Wanna be a dick about paying me?? Peace out. Don't let them try that half now and half after shit either. Red Flag. Guys will always try to get out of paying you later.

    You should not have been sent to a frat party for your first show. You def weren't ready for that. 1 in 20 frat shows go well and all of them are in dirty ass houses.

    I never take a bouncer to PP's unless its a college show. It's just not safe. You need someone looking out for the camera phones, slapping, sneaky touches, taking your shit, taking your tips etc. There is just too much going on and too many retards to deal with on your own. I took a bouncer for years before ever doing parties without. The company did not set you up with someone or recommend something? That's not good.

    The pp industry is slow right now so there are more "shitty" shows like the one you did. Shitty guys, no money. In my opinion not even worth the humiliating experience. Your agency shouldn't be setting you up with stuff like that. Don't get discouraged though, pp's in general are a lot of fun with minor annoyances. Don't be afraid to turn down what seems like a weird set up. It probably is. The company will always want to downplay that to you because they want their commission.

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Louise View Post
    Wow. Fuck that. I know the scene all too well.

    You should not have been sent to a frat party for your first show. You def weren't ready for that. 1 in 20 frat shows go well and all of them are in dirty ass houses.

    I never take a bouncer to PP's unless its a college show. It's just not safe. You need someone looking out for the camera phones, slapping, sneaky touches, taking your shit, taking your tips etc. There is just too much going on and too many retards to deal with on your own. I took a bouncer for years before ever doing parties without. The company did not set you up with someone or recommend something? That's not good.
    I must have been lucky because I've had luck with college guys. Then again most of these parties took place before heavy drinking, and never in a frat house.

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    JD, you are gorgeous and intelligent. What are you doing working for someone else? Put yourself an ad in the paper, make a flyer and get your own thing going. Agency fees are for the birds! Someone should be paying you agency fees, hehe.

    A few years ago before I returned to the clubs, private parties were my primary source of income. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have done things so differently. I'm sure I got ripped off all the time by the girls I hired. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. It's just the BS that comes with this particular type of dancing.

    I never went to a party situation like that without a bouncer. I have a bouncer, who is obviously someone I know and trust, and who can probably kick the ass of anyone there, unless they've got like, the Incredible Hulk on PCP stashed in a closet or something. I also always had him collect the money UP front, that way, WE remained in control of the situation, and if WE didn't like how it was going, or if we started to feel they weren't tipping enough, we already had our base fee, and were out the door.

    I've discovered that guys are lot more respectful and cooperative when they have to pay before they even have a chance to see what they're getting. Then they really want to feel like they're getting their moneys worth, once they've plunked a couple hundo in your hands right off the bat. Then they have to trust you to stick around. Whoa! How the tables have turned! If the guy in charge of the party doesn't want to pay, that's fine for me too. I can take my girlfriend, and my bouncer and head to the next booking - and they'll just not have any live entertainment.

    It's hard to get the money up front, but I'm not going to lie to you girlfriend, you're not there to be taken advantage of in any way. You're almost always at the disadvantage when you're not on your own turf, or in a familiar setting. If some shit pops off, trust and believe they'll use that little fact to THEIR advantage. There's a reason why prostitutes ask for their money up front. I'd suggest trying it sometime.

    You can get a vibe about what most people's intentions are after you get there and introduce yourself. Myself, I'm just an asshole anymore about private shows because I've been where you are and I've gotten screwed over by performing at private parties. Yanno, there's not a whole bunch of things I give a shit about, least of all a frat-boy bachelor party where the expectations could be anything, but I'm doing this for the money - not my health. So when someone tries to get over on me, it's bye-bye classy lady from the club, hello GANGSTA.

    Everybody has their own style, and their own ways of handling things, but if you always know that you're gonna be working with the same girl every time you get to do a party, maybe work out an arrangement with her to follow a set course of action if things at the party aren't going as planned. But I think the biggest thing is exercising more control over the party environment. Yes, it should be fun, and yes you're there to entertain. But you're also providing a service, for which they've agreed to compensate you. Payment should be a no-brainer.

    Good luck, and I hope you do well on the PP scene!

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by traceyb View Post
    not sure if i should have read this with my first private party coming up
    This is exactly where you SHOULD be, Tracyb. You need to know that it's not all sunshine and daisies on the PP scene. This is, however just an example of a bad PP someone had the misfortune to be set up with. They aren't all like this, but some of them ARE. Be prepared to deal with both, IMO.

    Cheers, and good luck!

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    Featured Member mild2wild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    Are you working in Australia?

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    Default Re: Private Party Rants!!!!

    I know there are probably good and bad with any situation, but reading all the posts in this thread has me seriously reconsidering my plan to work a private party this weekend. It'll be my first and I'm kind of letting a friend of a friend (who's been doing this for some time) run the whole thing and I just show up.

    But at the very least, tomorrow morning I'm calling her and finding out if we have a bouncer lined up, that's for sure!

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