Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: "Going Public"

  1. #1
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    815
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 43 Times in 31 Posts

    Default "Going Public"

    Obviously, dancers in general, and dancers on this board, are all over the place on the question of who knows about their job...some keep it secret from just about everyone, some are open with just about everyone, and everything in between.

    What about making a transition from closed to open? Does it say anything about the progress of your life? My friend whom I've known for about 3 years has gone from (at the beginning), her best friend not knowing, her family not knowing, she being very cautious about what she did and who knew.

    Now, her friends all know, her mom knows, her fb page is full of clear references to her job, most of the "friends" she talks to on there are club-related (both co-workers and customers) -- she's clearly "out of the closet" to anyone who's paying attention.

    To me, this is quite a transition in 3 years. It can mean 2 major things, one positive and one negative - and probably both. What did it mean for you as you went more public?

    1 (positive) - she is more comfortable with who she is and what she does, she owns it and doesn't care who knows

    2 (negative) - it undoubtedly forfeits some chances of being fully in mainstream society -- something she always said she wanted to do. Like multiple facial piercings or lots of tats or having porn on the internet or whatever, being an open stripper is an alternative lifestyle that is going to close a lot of doors for you (rightly or wrongly).

  2. #2
    Veteran Member spyder's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2009
    Location
    at the end of a rainbow
    Posts
    246
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked 53 Times in 42 Posts

    Default Re: "Going Public"

    i went in the opposite direction, from being very open about what i did to now not telling anyone i'm not close to. When i first started out i would tell whoever asked me what i did for a living, and the responses were something else. Guys would light up thinking "Stripper! She must be easy!" Girls who had been friendly toward me would suddenly avoid me, or start slut rumors, or decide i was out to steal their boyfriends because they'd had the previous response. I'm proud of what i do but other peoples' reactions are not worth the trouble of proclaiming it. Plus i've had several stalkers over the years, so i'm pretty secretive about all facets of my life. If you've been in my life for awhile you know, otherwise it's none of your business.

  3. #3
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,066
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked 1,844 Times in 779 Posts

    Default Re: "Going Public"

    ita w/ spyder.

    i do not think anything positive has ever come from me telling someone i'm a dancer. it's better to simply keep it to myself. i suppose that's why i am spending more and more time on this site. there are issues that other people don't understand and i do not have the energy to defend my decisions all the time.

    people feel VERY strongly about the sex industry, and i don't see the point in exposing myself to ridicule, stigma, potentially violent situations. no, thanks.

  4. #4
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    In your nightmares...
    Posts
    4,861
    Thanks
    1,334
    Thanked 2,291 Times in 1,133 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: "Going Public"

    I can't "go public". It would fuck my life up in ways I can't even begin to comprehend. But Im jealous of the girls who can.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  5. #5
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    1,128
    Thanks
    96
    Thanked 43 Times in 21 Posts

    Default Re: "Going Public"

    on the one hand i think that anyone who would have a problem with my job or any life choices can go fuck themselves. seriously i dont need them in my life if they're going to judge me or treat me differently based on that.
    on the other hand, i wouldnt want anyone to assume that i have a lot of money or nice things and mug me or break into my house based on this assumption. so i kinda have mixed feelings and kinda keep it on a need to know basis. of course my family does know though.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Western NY
    Posts
    79
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: "Going Public"

    Right now everyone at my other job knows (some who won't shut up about it, which would be OK if they'd save it for the back room and not blurt it out in front of customers) and a few other friends who have no ties to my family.

    I am not ashamed of what I do, but I know what it will do to my dad when he finds out, so I want to be absolutely sure I'm going to stick with this before I open that can of worms. When the time comes for my family to learn about it, I want it to come from ME and not some asshole going behind my back.

Similar Threads

  1. "Hun," "Baby," "Darlin'" and other endearing terms
    By Chicagoeditor in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 10-29-2013, 04:02 PM
  2. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-24-2012, 05:34 PM
  3. Replies: 25
    Last Post: 04-03-2008, 08:43 PM
  4. "Public" Dances
    By doc-catfish in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-02-2005, 05:52 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •