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Thread: dancer safety

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    Default dancer safety

    As many probably already know, there was a horrible tragedy in Boston last week as a dancer was stalked and stabbed to death in her apt parking lot after arriving home from work in the early morning hours.

    Strip clubs are big business, mainly because they provide desirable services for socially and sexually dysfunctional men. While 99% are harmless, there is the occasional desperate lunatic as we saw last week. What I'm interested to hear is what precautions dancers take for their safety and what more could be done.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    a guy once followed me from work to chipotle. i saw him from the storefront window, looking into my car window, and almost shit my pants. i started freaking out inside of chipotle (i was standing in line) and NO ONE looked up. the guy came inside and asked me where we were going after this. i burst into tears, i completely panicked and forgot how to talk, i just stood there crying and after sixty seconds of that, i managed to say "leave me alone." he left. no one in the restaurant said anything or looked in my direction. i got my chips and guacamole and went home.

    i do not have a concealed/carry weapon, and even if i did, you cannot take a gun into a strip club. so, though a gun is helpful if you're a good shot, i don't think it is helpful in most situations.

    i do think, considering how many dancers have been sexually assaulted at some time in their lives, that self-defense training should be provided by the state. since the state won't give a shit if someone does, in fact, assault you, sexually or otherwise. it's the least they could do.

    i think one of the biggest precautions a dancer could take is not to drink at work, especially if you are driving. that way, if something does happen, you won't have to deal with the condescending "well how much did you have to drink that night" sentiment from the police or anyone else.

    living in well-lit area, having a healthy dose of paranoia (if you think you are being followed, call a friend, drive to a police station, etc), taking a self-defense class, knowing how to disarm a weapon, limiting the errands you run after work (fill up your gas tank before work), whatever you have to do to feel safe. i don't know if there's a big difference between what precautions dancers should take and things that every women should do.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    I don't work anywhere near my house for one thing. I also know all the police stations between work and my house so if I think I am being followed I can go straight to one. I carry mace, and I always always have someone walk me out to my car after my shift.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    there's already a thread for this. See"safety tips for newbies" in the newbie section.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    ^ I dont kno if the guys can see that section? Or maybe Im thinking of the other site.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
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    Default Re: dancer safety

    I'm pretty sure they can see it, they just can't post in it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    a guy once followed me from work to chipotle. i saw him from the storefront window, looking into my car window, and almost shit my pants. i started freaking out inside of chipotle (i was standing in line) and NO ONE looked up. the guy came inside and asked me where we were going after this. i burst into tears, i completely panicked and forgot how to talk, i just stood there crying and after sixty seconds of that, i managed to say "leave me alone." he left. no one in the restaurant said anything or looked in my direction. i got my chips and guacamole and went home.

    i do not have a concealed/carry weapon, and even if i did, you cannot take a gun into a strip club. so, though a gun is helpful if you're a good shot, i don't think it is helpful in most situations.

    i do think, considering how many dancers have been sexually assaulted at some time in their lives, that self-defense training should be provided by the state. since the state won't give a shit if someone does, in fact, assault you, sexually or otherwise. it's the least they could do.

    i think one of the biggest precautions a dancer could take is not to drink at work, especially if you are driving. that way, if something does happen, you won't have to deal with the condescending "well how much did you have to drink that night" sentiment from the police or anyone else.

    living in well-lit area, having a healthy dose of paranoia (if you think you are being followed, call a friend, drive to a police station, etc), taking a self-defense class, knowing how to disarm a weapon, limiting the errands you run after work (fill up your gas tank before work), whatever you have to do to feel safe. i don't know if there's a big difference between what precautions dancers should take and things that every women should do.
    WTF????!!!!! He was peeking in your car, and then just casually walked in to ask "Where are we going next?" OMG!!!! I would have caused the biggest scene. I would've been on the phone with 911, and asking him, "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE FOLLOWING ME YOU PSYCHO!!!!" I probably would've been swinging punches and macing him too. Be careful with mace though, one time I whipped it out in a guy's face, and when I tried to press it down, it was clogged. Who the hell does this guy think he is though??? I have an extreme hate for predators and men in general who try to take advantage of women. I think stalkerish guys and predators are put off by me, or I have yet to meet one luckily (for him).
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    This is why I like to keep a regular (male) driver. I think it's a good deterrent for any potential creeps to see me leaving with a guy. Also, I don't have to worry about having had a couple drinks at work if something does still happen and we need to head to the nearest police station.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    a guy once followed me from work to chipotle. i saw him from the storefront window, looking into my car window, and almost shit my pants. i started freaking out inside of chipotle (i was standing in line) and NO ONE looked up. the guy came inside and asked me where we were going after this. i burst into tears, i completely panicked and forgot how to talk, i just stood there crying and after sixty seconds of that, i managed to say "leave me alone." he left. no one in the restaurant said anything or looked in my direction. i got my chips and guacamole and went home.

    i do not have a concealed/carry weapon, and even if i did, you cannot take a gun into a strip club. so, though a gun is helpful if you're a good shot, i don't think it is helpful in most situations.

    i do think, considering how many dancers have been sexually assaulted at some time in their lives, that self-defense training should be provided by the state. since the state won't give a shit if someone does, in fact, assault you, sexually or otherwise. it's the least they could do.

    i think one of the biggest precautions a dancer could take is not to drink at work, especially if you are driving. that way, if something does happen, you won't have to deal with the condescending "well how much did you have to drink that night" sentiment from the police or anyone else.

    living in well-lit area, having a healthy dose of paranoia (if you think you are being followed, call a friend, drive to a police station, etc), taking a self-defense class, knowing how to disarm a weapon, limiting the errands you run after work (fill up your gas tank before work), whatever you have to do to feel safe. i don't know if there's a big difference between what precautions dancers should take and things that every women should do.
    I think I would have murdered him. DO NOT EVER FEEL INTIMIDATED BY ANYONE IN A PUBLIC PLACE. They can't do shit to you. What you do is you say "If you don't leave me alone, I am going to scream as loud as I can." And back that shit up too! If he doesn't leave, scream your face off. Don't leave the public place until he leaves.

    Then call the police, give a description and have the policeman follow you home. Trust me. They don't mind doing it.

    Fuck dudes like that. Fuck them right up their perverted asses with no lube. They always pick on the shy girls too. Cocksuckers.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    This is why I like to keep a regular (male) driver. I think it's a good deterrent for any potential creeps to see me leaving with a guy. Also, I don't have to worry about having had a couple drinks at work if something does still happen and we need to head to the nearest police station.
    I vastly prefer it when my boyfriend picks me up/drops me off. Not that he is super huge and intimidating or scary. But I think it helps.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    A forceful "Back off!" can help too... even in just drills in karate I've made people freeze with one.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    i mean, yes, in retrospect, i kick myself for not making a huge scene, but at the time, i just froze up.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Always have more than one route home, and alternate them each time you drive. Try and pick the one with the most traffic since it's easier to lose someone.

    If you suspect you are being followed and don't think there is any way to lose them (it's late at night and there's not much traffic), DO NOT GO STRAIGHT HOME!!! Go to the nearest open gas station, Walmart, the police department if you know where it is, anywhere with lots of people. Park right at the entrance (even if it's a handicap) and go inside and have them call the cops. Gas stations are ALWAYS have several (often discrete) ways to call the cops, and they are everywhere so that's usually your best bet since you don't want to be driving too long while in panic mode.

    Something I learned during my years in Karate (something I highly recommend for ANY woman):

    If you are ever grabbed and pulled by someone, go TOWARD them- they will be compensating for being pulled away from, so naturally their body and knees will be facing to one side or the other. So, suddenly moving toward them will A) catch them by surprise, and B) throw them off-balance. So you lunge forward and throw all of your kicking weight on the side of their knee. They will then be in extreme pain/possibly crippled, allowing you to get away.


    Edit: This is important, actually ^^^ This is a totally normal response, and unless you've been there in that situation, you'd never understand. For some reason, our natural response to a threat is to lock up and become frazzled (scatter-brained, disoriented, unable to speak). It's totally backwards and makes no sense, but it's also totally natural and normal. This is one of MANY reasons why I highly recommend a form of self-defense for ANY woman- they will condition you to react more appropriately, should such an event take place.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by Happycat View Post
    This is one of MANY reasons why I highly recommend a form of self-defense for ANY woman- they will condition you to react more appropriately, should such an event take place.
    This +100.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    I spent many years working with mentally ill criminals in a pretty run down area of Los Angeles.

    IMHO the best safety starts with making choices that tries to avoid risks to begin with.

    Park smart (well lit and well trafficked). End spots can be good and avoid parking a small car between two large vehicles or in areas that can't be seen by others coming and going.

    Walk with your head up and fully alert; scan, watch and be aware of who is around. Predators tend to prefer easy prey.

    Come and go with others if you can.

    Don't be chatting on a cell phone when walking in questionable areas; you mark yourself as someone distracted and easy prey to predators.

    That said, self defense classes can't hurt. If nothing else they may give one some confidence and that helps too to deter predators looking for weak victims.
    I promise not to look down on you if you can laugh at lawyer jokes. - minnow

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    ^Any good self defense class will address the avoidance of situations (basically the list you provided...). There's a really good women's defense class in Boulder, CO, but I can't really give names as I may incriminate myself...

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Ok the chipotle thing....make people have to get involved affect their life. Run up and down the line and grab the arm of each custie and scream that guy, I just saw him following me, peaking in my car and now he's here! Why are u ignoring me ! Help!

    Scare the creepo, I would've cried too but louder. Make your problem all of chipotles prob. I have such an issue with harrassment in public. I dare a restauraunt to ignore me if I need help.

    I've also drove right into a police station when being followed. I heard burning rubber.

    I've never admitted to anyone this but once I wanted vengance when I was being followed after work and I called a basketballer player with 6 extremely tall scary roomates. He was like pull in to ths housing project I'm here with around 12 guys drinking 40's the guy followed me to the project and I slowed infront of the stoop. Didn't even get out they circled the car and motioned for me to keep driving and I did. The fucker followed me all the way to what he thought was my doorstee
    p... I was so young and soft spoken. I'm sure he wasn't expecting a party of nearly 7ft thugs in the woods of wv. Prob. Just wanted sum good old fashioned rape.

    The older I've gotten the less I've been followed. Its odd.it was such a problem when I firtst started!

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by vmurphy252 View Post
    ^Any good self defense class will address the avoidance of situations (basically the list you provided...). There's a really good women's defense class in Boulder, CO, but I can't really give names as I may incriminate myself...
    Like any sport one must continually practice it to remain competitive; a two day self defense course will not really do any good. Three times a week for one hour with actual contact is necessary. Not many are willing to put in the time and effort.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    Like any sport one must continually practice it to remain competitive; a two day self defense course will not really do any good. Three times a week for one hour with actual contact is necessary. Not many are willing to put in the time and effort.

    There are plenty of people who have managed to escape dangerous situations utilizing some basic practices, and I'm certain that not all of them devoted that much time to self defense training.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    There are plenty of people who have managed to escape dangerous situations utilizing some basic practices, and I'm certain that not all of them devoted that much time to self defense training.
    My opinion is that being exposed at all is a good thing and MAY help you in a real life situation if you can apply/remember anything from limited exposure.

    You are much more LIKELY to have a positive outcome from a real lie situation if you've consistently practiced/drilled on SD techniques.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Once again, another post I just find creepy.

    Why??? do you care????

    Most regular guys in the real world do not empathize so much with womens' safety issues. Those that do don't mention it.

    Predators ask you all about it.

    Is this giving you the tips you hoped for or is it just titillating thinking about women in danger?

    A regular guy woried about "dancer safety" would probably go right into talking about this chic he's worried about because he cares about her.

    This is creepy to me.

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    Angry Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i mean, yes, in retrospect, i kick myself for not making a huge scene, but at the time, i just froze up.
    Omg! I am so sincerely sorry you had to have this nightmare experience! I think that I would of froze up, too. It was the first time that it happened and he caught you off guard. I am glad you stopped to get food instead of going straight home. Don't kick yourself because you went to a public place that helped your safety without knowing it right away.

    When I read your first post I felt like I was there with you. It breaks my heart that you were in a fucking scary ass situation, alone, and off guard because some dumb ass stalked you.

    I hope you carry pepper spray, have a knife in your car (stab & twist the penis/ball package), and maybe even one of those stung guns (i think that's what they are called). I bet nobody will want to follow you without an invite after that. Oh a charged cell phone is something important to have.

    Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Once again, I am sorry you had to go through that but happy you are safe.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    I thought I would add this, my mom used to always tell us to carry our car key in a fist, with the key part sticking out between our middle and forefingers, while walking to our cars alone. If a guy sneaks up on you, you can turn around and stab him with your key.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by kittygirl View Post
    Once again, another post I just find creepy.

    Why??? do you care????

    Most regular guys in the real world do not empathize so much with womens' safety issues. Those that do don't mention it.

    Predators ask you all about it.

    Is this giving you the tips you hoped for or is it just titillating thinking about women in danger?

    A regular guy woried about "dancer safety" would probably go right into talking about this chic he's worried about because he cares about her.

    This is creepy to me.
    Is this directed at me, the OP, or both?

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    Default Re: dancer safety

    Quote Originally Posted by kittygirl View Post
    Once again, another post I just find creepy.

    Why??? do you care????

    Most regular guys in the real world do not empathize so much with womens' safety issues. Those that do don't mention it.

    Predators ask you all about it.

    Is this giving you the tips you hoped for or is it just titillating thinking about women in danger?

    A regular guy woried about "dancer safety" would probably go right into talking about this chic he's worried about because he cares about her.

    This is creepy to me.
    What now? Stop making drama where there doesn't need to be any. If it really creeps you out that much go read another thread.

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