Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 27

Thread: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Joined
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Hi y'all, I'm a new dancer and I gotta say I LOVE this website. This is my first post by the way. Woo! Go me!

    So I guess I'm feeling a little grossed out after working today. I hate dirty talk. I really really REALLY hate dirty talk. And the thing is I actually liked this custie until he started saying things like "yeah, grind against my dick." This is SUPPOSED to be the classiest club in the city. Ugggghhhhhh. I guess like all dancers I need to learn my boundaries and get a tougher skin, but it's kind of hard. I mean, I'm not really doing anything now that I wasn't already doing in clubs (but with more clothes on and for free) and I'm just a naturally sexually frigid person, so these things don't bother me too much when they're happening but then I'll feel bad several hours later. I guess I just need to get custies to keep their hands to themselves and learn how to airdance a little better.

    SORRY, I just needed a vent. I love you guys!

  2. #2
    Member
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    You poor thing. When they get really dirty like that it's awful. There are always going to be those guys. Try to learn some conversation starters to drag the number of dances they get out. I used to always wonder why some girls did the shoulder massage and all the ear whispering etc. Guys can usually tell when you are new and will push their limits. You are in control. You are creating the fantasy. I don't love dirty talk either, I'm awful at it, but if you think of some witty responses you can banter back and forth with the guy and it won't be so bad. Ask them questions, people love to talk about themselves. IE- Do you have a girlfriend?, do you workout a lot? your arms are so strong. And my all time personal favorite..."your butt looks really cute in those jeans" Think of some one liners and use them. If a guy gets really gross with me....sometimes I'll even playfully so "oh, you are so charming, you must get ALL the girls" make sure you do it playful and cute so you don't get in trouble with the club. Tell him he's a bad, bad boy, whatever. Practice makes perfect. When I started....it took me two days to be able to call a guy "Big Daddy" without laughing my face off. Flirt...flirt...flirt sister. It works

  3. #3
    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,636
    Thanks
    495
    Thanked 744 Times in 433 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Hmmm...luckily, I haven't gotten a dirty talker in awhile. I'm not really into it either, so I just tune it out. If they try to get me to talk dirty back to them, I tell them that costs extra
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

  4. #4
    Member
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Eliva....you are brilliant...I like your style

  5. #5
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,149
    Thanks
    1,307
    Thanked 2,530 Times in 1,295 Posts
    My Mood
    Sick

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Don't feel bad that would make any of us feel gross. Remember it wasn't you saying it, it was him so you shouldn't feel bad. He should, for being a sick freak. If he want's his dick ground he can go stick it in a blender. I'm lucky I've never worked at a heavy contact club, but that would definitely piss me off. I'd probably not be able to control my temper and say something rude like, "well its a bit hard to find it's so small".... not that I'm recommending that...just saying LOL

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Jessie_tinydancer For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    Veteran Member goldi's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    218
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 20 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    ^^^^ LMAO! i HELLA love so many sentences in that paragraph im still laughin

  8. #7
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Get your money up front first of all. Second of all, give him one warning, saying that is not appropriate and you don't care for it. If he does it again, take your money and walk.

  9. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,066
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked 1,844 Times in 779 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    what mediocrity said! get paid up front, and decide what your boundary is, and then do your dance BELOW what your boundary is. i am pro-half-assed dances.* i will give you 70% and then if you tip me well, we increase the eroticness of the dance. please. i do not need $30 badly enough to have your tongue in my ear and your hand on my ass. some of these men have lost their damn minds.



    *i have given this advice to new dancers in real life before and it hasn't worked out so well for them because it takes awhile to gain confidence dancing. but as you get more familiar, i have no doubt you will be able to make good money giving 2/3rds of your all.

  10. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,207
    Thanks
    110
    Thanked 247 Times in 168 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    I would have started laughing in his face if some guy said that to me. Seriously.

  11. #10
    God/dess britneyireland's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    2,568
    Thanks
    283
    Thanked 602 Times in 340 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Inspired

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    I agree that you should set your boundaries and stick to them.

    I also suggest that when you are at work, think of yourself as an actress and create a character that you play. When I am at work I am "Avalon" I'm not Rebecca. I don't lie or make things up about myself that aren't true, but rather "Avalon" is an extension of Rebecca. Avalon is more outgoing (Rebecca wouldn't strike up a conversation with a guy at a regular bar) Avalon is more sexually adventurous (Rebecca wears turtlenecks and glasses).

    Forget that you are "sexually frigid" in your personal life. The strip club is not your personal life, it is your "office" and sexual fantasy is the product that you sell.

    Now ask yourself, what strategies can you use to sell that product?
    Rebecca Avalon







  12. #11
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Quote Originally Posted by britneyireland View Post
    I agree that you should set your boundaries and stick to them.

    I also suggest that when you are at work, think of yourself as an actress and create a character that you play. When I am at work I am "Avalon" I'm not Rebecca. I don't lie or make things up about myself that aren't true, but rather "Avalon" is an extension of Rebecca. Avalon is more outgoing (Rebecca wouldn't strike up a conversation with a guy at a regular bar) Avalon is more sexually adventurous (Rebecca wears turtlenecks and glasses).

    Forget that you are "sexually frigid" in your personal life. The strip club is not your personal life, it is your "office" and sexual fantasy is the product that you sell.

    Now ask yourself, what strategies can you use to sell that product?
    I agree with the actress part for sure. But, if she is anything like me, I can't act my way through things that absolutely turn my stomach. And dirty talk like that from a customer really makes me want to puke in my mouth. I'd rather just end the dance and take the money than put up with something that makes me feel gross.

  13. #12
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    You should've dirty talked back to the customer, tell him you want to stick a carrot up his ass. he'll shut up after that for sure.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to J.D. For This Useful Post:


  15. #13
    Member BrookeBunni's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    In the tropics
    Posts
    24
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    If he want's his dick ground he can go stick it in a blender. I'm lucky I've never worked at a heavy contact club, but that would definitely piss me off. I'd probably not be able to control my temper and say something rude like, "well its a bit hard to find it's so small"


  16. #14
    Senior Member callah44's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    164
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    You should've dirty talked back to the customer, tell him you want to stick a carrot up his ass. he'll shut up after that for sure.

  17. #15
    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2009
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,542
    Thanks
    1,043
    Thanked 3,893 Times in 1,568 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    I don't really give a shit about dirty talk... I actually love it. If I can get a custome really into it, I don't have to do shit, just talk to them about what they would want to do and sit there and pretend like I'm into it while I'm actually going over my shopping list.

    It's up to you but if you can't handle dirty talk I don't know how well you're going to do in this business...

  18. #16
    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2009
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,256
    Thanks
    687
    Thanked 484 Times in 277 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    No that is gross. LOL So vent away!

    There are lot of ways to handle this either ignore them, give them a polite raised eyebrow, play along "yeah you like that baby" or "oh that sounds like fun" without being too involved. Don't reciprocate too much they'll keep doing it.

    I've never been into dirty talk either. Some girls can do it, and I think if you're going to you should charge for it. That is above and beyond a dance. In some cities it's actually illegal to talk dirty.




  19. #17
    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,016
    Thanks
    2,110
    Thanked 4,475 Times in 2,023 Posts
    My Mood
    Brooding

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    I love it. It makes me lol inside.
    I just giggle along and periodically say things like "Oh yeah?" or "Ooo... really?" in tones that suggest I wanna hear more. Then I put on my big amused grin that they mistake for a smile of 'oh god. I wanna hear MORE!' Lulz.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

  20. #18
    Senior Member
    Joined
    May 2009
    Posts
    83
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked 41 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    A customer asked me if he could 'spit in my cunt' once. *shudder*

  21. #19
    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    The dirty south
    Posts
    1,381
    Thanks
    1,942
    Thanked 1,992 Times in 605 Posts
    Blog Entries
    17
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    sometimes you only learn where your boundaries are by breaking them. don't feel bad or gross, just remember for next time. It isn't easy, but at least know that you're not alone--everyone who strips experiences something like this eventually.

  22. #20
    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    1,291
    Thanks
    718
    Thanked 402 Times in 203 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    I don't really give a shit about dirty talk... I actually love it. If I can get a custome really into it, I don't have to do shit, just talk to them about what they would want to do and sit there and pretend like I'm into it while I'm actually going over my shopping list.

    It's up to you but if you can't handle dirty talk I don't know how well you're going to do in this business...
    i don't know about that. being able to talk dirty is a fabulous skill to have but it doesn't make or break you in this business. i've gotten by just fine for almost 10yrs without any dirty talk. i use a hustle that that wouldn't work with anyway.

  23. #21
    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2009
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,542
    Thanks
    1,043
    Thanked 3,893 Times in 1,568 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    ^you don't have to engage in it, but customers are going to talk dirty to you. whether you smile and don't respond or talk dirty back, you have to be able to deal with it.

  24. #22
    Member kjgrrrl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    canada, eh?
    Posts
    29
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    i like dirty talk, but knowing my luck i'll get the mute custie whose silence just makes me feel self-conscious...
    fuck le osap

  25. #23
    Veteran Member bluexxxtasy's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Las Vegas nv
    Posts
    704
    Thanks
    585
    Thanked 423 Times in 186 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    I love dirty talkers... most of the time im like faux moaning and repeating what they said- mind you im not grindin their dick n their throats still sticking to the rules and as long as they obey the touching rules and keep their damn tongue in their mouth im great. also as long as they are into it the more songs that go past, and the "hotter they are for my body" i upsell them to get more comfy in the vip and usually then its checkmate...lol
    still here.... just in another chapter..

  26. #24
    Member lizzybaby's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2009
    Location
    tha Bay
    Posts
    54
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    yea i hate dirty talk. i just feel like a fake when it happens. i had this one quasi-regular and it was the same routine with him every time. light casual convo at first and then after several drinks he breaks out the dirty talk. a lot of "this is what i would do to you," and "your (fill in the naughty body part) is so cute!" which is fine, because i don't really have to come up with anything. i can just be like, "ooh tell me more!" when really i am throwing up in my mouth thinking about it.

    i would suggest just playing along if it happens again. "mmm you like that huh?" or "tell me what you would do to me" That way you don't really have to get all creative. If you totally can't stand the guy or he is being way way creepy and you can't handle it. just pout and be like "now what type of girl do you think i am!!" (that goes for if he is being all handsy etc - swat the hand away and be like, "now now, that's gonna cost a lot more!" and just take the money and run.

    hope this helped!!

  27. #25
    Veteran Member goldi's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    218
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 20 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Re: i feel gross. need to learn my boundaries. :(

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    You should've dirty talked back to the customer, tell him you want to stick a carrot up his ass. he'll shut up after that for sure.


    LMFAO. i fucking love JD

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Why I always feel gross when I have to stay in a hotel
    By Kyleigh1984 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-17-2009, 05:22 PM
  2. How do I know what my boundaries are?
    By at321 in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 09-27-2007, 12:52 PM
  3. Boundaries
    By dragonpearl in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 05-09-2007, 10:10 PM
  4. boundaries?
    By greeneyedgurl99 in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 03-17-2007, 09:35 PM
  5. learn something new every day, feel like a dork
    By JettaNyx in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-09-2006, 08:56 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •