The sexual double standard has bugged me for many years. I got branded the school slut because of it. I was a virgin until age 22 because of it. I got my heart stepped on with my first boyfriend because of it. A stranger who raped me in a parking lot got away and I was accused by the police of making it up because of it (my friend was the witness so it was believed that I was making it up to avoid my friend thinking I was being a "slut"). I have battled hatred of people and a crippling feeling of inferiority and alienation in relation to other people, especially other black people, because of it.
I'm 26 and have slept with 13 people. That's already a LOT of people. Most women by the time they are married have had sex with about 5 or 6 people.
I fear that no one will want to marry me if I keep on like this. I will eventually have to hunt on the internet for Mr. Right and it may be a very demoralizing process to keep getting dumped once this issue comes up. (Or keep sleeping with people and THEN getting dumped).
I don't want to conform, especially to that which I hate, but I'm also tired of feeling like I'm fighting the entire world. It seems like there's no society or subculture where this isn't supported to some extent. Can I be all alone in this?
I've thought about relocating to Latin America in the hopes that it's not as prevalent there, but that seems like a pipe dream. It could actually be way worse there.
Should I quit while I'm ahead? Should I start looking for Mr. Right? Or should I continue being true to myself and continue fighting?



Reply With Quote

Stop caring what other people think and live the way that makes you happy, it's all you gotta do.





Bookmarks