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Thread: water retention

  1. #1
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Sad water retention

    so I have polycystic ovary syndrome and dont get my period much. Now, since I need to audition at some clubs, my body decided it would be hilarious to have my period that comes maybe twice a year happen this week. I think that because i dont get my period often, I have like super-water retention or something because usually i am pretty happy with my body, but now i feel like a beached whale and look a lot thicker than usual. And the difference is noticeable, my roommate even noticed! Oy! And since I want to audition at a nice club or two tomorrow, this is No good!

    Anyone know how to get rid of some of this stuff overnight? Otherwise i might have to just work at a dive bar this weekend because i seriously feel to fat to audtion at a nice place .

    thanks.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  2. #2
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: water retention

    The all natural route:

    two organic lemons
    one plastic jug of distilled water
    2-3 bags of dandelion root tea
    1/4-1/2 cup of 100% unsweetened REAL cranberry juice (not ocean spray crap, you can buy the real stuff at Whole Foods, 365 brand)

    Squeeze some lemon juice (I use a lot, but use to your preference) and combine all ingredients. Let steep for ten minutes, drink throughout the day for a few days.

    The Cheater Method:

    http://www.vitaglo.com/cytog60169.html

    This is what body builders use before a show, and I use it too when I feel bloated. It is a miracle, and will suck all the water out of your body.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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  4. #3
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: water retention

    For the taraxatone: Do you know if any stores like GNC or local drug stores would carry it or is it something that would have to be ordered off the net? Since I am pressed for time, it would be awesome if i could get ahold of something tomorrow morning.

    If i cant get it, ill try the natural route. i think i have the ingredients for that in my house.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  5. #4
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: water retention

    You should be able to get it at GNC, or any similar vitamin store. You take one after each meal throughout the day, with a lot of water. Your muscles will pop out in a good way, I've had multiple people comment on my abs only after taking these pills.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  6. #5
    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: water retention

    There are these really cool pills that my mom has for when she's on her period, and I've gotten into her stash a few times myself. They are little pills that reduce bloating from water retention during your period. You should be able to get them at any drug store, they're called Diurex Water Caplets MAX. There are other products they sell that help with breast tenderness and moodiness as well.

    http://www.alva-amco.com/diurex/diurex_caplets.html

    (They work pretty quickly, you'll notice a 1-2 lbs difference).
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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