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Arrrggggghhhhh! I am seriously so angered by this. Here's the scenario:
You're with a customer, be it 3 minutes, 10 minutes, half an hour, whatever. You guys are cool, chit chatting away, doing a few dances, drinking, whatever. You may be snuggled up close to them for a few reasons. #1 the music is hella loud and you don't wanna shout or keep doing the "lean in"(when you lean in to say something or hear the custie), #2 it feels more intimate to be seated closely and have them stare into your eyes (read: hypnosis hustling), #3 you're trying to be funny and be all up in their grill. Or hey, maybe you're not that damn close to them, but you're less than an arm's length away instead of having-your-head-on-their-shoulder kind of close.
Then what happens? That bitch ass mutha fucka swoops in unannounced blitz style and catches you by surprise by stealing a kiss!!
What.the.fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?!
Or he'll do it where, he's holding your face like Aw you're so precious, then Boom, he jerks in for a quickie kissie. By the time you pull away its a done deal. They lips done already touched yours.
Other variations of how these mofos will do a lip robbery on yo ass:
-He first kisses you on the cheek, then does a switcharoo and snags all or part of your lips.
-When you're dancing for him and you put your face close to his, Boom, his neck shoots forward and his lips score a touchdown on your lips.
Ok so I know, I am not the only one this has happened to. This has even happened to me several different times. Until this started happening, I was ill prepared for such tactics.
Now, a bitch stay on the lookout. Because of these robberies, I hate hate hate when people hold my face. I don't give a fuck if you're saying Praise Jesus for this beautiful child, homie you are not holding my face.
I also have to be quicker than a professional boxer whenever I do lean ins. Might even have to juke em a few times. Gotta keep the pivot (face at an angle, lips out of range). When they talk to me, they talk to my ear hole, not directly to my face if I am within robbery distance.
You can kiss my hand but if you want to kiss me on the cheek? Red flag! Warning! Proceed and I may be getting robbed soon!
During close dances, I have to keep my chin tucked and eyes wide open.
Going to work now is like a fucking battle. I have to make sure I don't get got! I was slippin the other night and got got TWICE by the same customer! Fuck that shit. I aint gettin robbed anymore!!



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