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Thread: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

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    Default Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    All men should read this...
    http://www.lilithgallery.com/feminis...al-Orgasm.html

    snip....
    "Whenever female orgasm and frigidity are discussed, a false distinction is made between the vaginal and the clitoral orgasm. Frigidity has generally been defined by men as the failure of women to have vaginal orgasms. Actually the vagina is not a highly sensitive area and is not constructed to achieve orgasm. It is the clitoris which is the center of sexual sensitivity and which is the female equivalent of the penis."

    Discuss?

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    All men should read this...


    snip....
    "Whenever female orgasm and frigidity are discussed, a false distinction is made between the vaginal and the clitoral orgasm. Frigidity has generally been defined by men as the failure of women to have vaginal orgasms. Actually the vagina is not a highly sensitive area and is not constructed to achieve orgasm. It is the clitoris which is the center of sexual sensitivity and which is the female equivalent of the penis."

    Discuss?
    (Note: This the classic article on women's sexuality by the New York feminist Anne Koedt. It is one of the most popular pages on the site. This is the complete version.)
    The key word is feminist; vaginal orgasms are common and can not be faked as the cirvix and entire uterus, not just the sides contract.

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    Senior Member etru's Avatar
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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    I’m with Earl on this one. I am not going into my sexual history, but unless the girls involved were great actresses (always a possibility), I think it does exist. Were you to take a poll of the females on this website regarding their favorite sexual position I am sure “doggy style” would make a pretty good showing, which speaks volumes.

    You will also note that this essay was written in 1970 when radical feminism was still developing as an extreme reaction to the “Mad Men” era. Its height was in the mid 80’s through the mid 90’s. This movement formed an unholy alliance with the far Christian Right to further its ends; a truce of convenience, if you will. Their hatred of the “patriarchy” was outstanding. Playboy was banned from convenience stores, strip clubs were shut down, and pornographic movies were banned in many states. To them all the strippers on this board would be considered as being “exploited” – they loved that word. I studied under one of the most famous of these women and she was certain that the only difference between men and women were the social conventions of our culture. Those of you who have very young kids will note that that is not the case (they had none, of course). I remember reading Andrea Dworkin insist that “All sex is rape.” We are talking female Taliban.

    Sometime in the 90’s females rebelled against this. Why, I am not sure. As an example, the thong is now a normal piece of underwear and the piercings have gone over the top – it used to be that only “exploited wymyn” used these. Exploited was their code word for “slut.” If I called my prof she would pretend to be horrified by this pattern, but I always got the sense she was a freak behind closed doors.

    All that said, I am no misogynist. All women should have the same opportunities as men. I know I have veered wildly off topic, but that article brought back all sorts of bad memories that I bought into when I was a 19 year old student.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    The key word is feminist; vaginal orgasms are common and can not be faked as the cirvix and entire uterus, not just the sides contract.

    FTR, the cervix, uterus, etc. will contract during clitoral orgasm. It is extremely likely that a woman having an orgasm during penetration was also receiving some sort of clitoral stimulation. I'm not saying you can't orgasm from penetration only. I have. I'm just stating that it doesn't matter "where" the orgasm originates from... those contractions happen regardless. I do think, however, that MOST women will tell you clitoral stimulation is very important. Not to mention there are definitely plenty of women who absolutely can not orgasm without it.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    I read recently that the distance between the clitoris and that vaginal opening is a key determining factor in how easy it is for her to have an orgasm from penetration.... which seems to indicate that many 'vaginal' orgasms are actually 'clitoral' orgasms.... otoh the g-spot orgasm seems even more intense (at least from my side of the gender divide, lol)... I don't know how common that is during coitus, however... in my experience it takes direct stimulation with fingers or toys.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    I wasn't actually interested in the politics of the authors. Rather, I was interested in the biological aspect.

    Sure, orgasm DURING sex is common. Internally originated orgasm is not that common, but can be induced with patience and experience. It still originates from the g-spot, or urethral sponge, is the flipside of the clitoris. Even the very sensitive labia of a women is due to the extension of the sensitive erectile tissue of the clitoris "branching" to either side.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Cl...labeled-en.svg

    What I'm saying is, women do not orgasm from your cock moving in and out, in and out, alone. Your cock has ZERO power on its own.

    And, this article was written at a time when a woman was supposed to be having primary, regular vaginal orgasms. The clitoris was discounted, and many women believed they were defective or "frigid."

    Even if the pendulum struck back the other way for a while, things are much better now, there's a vast wealth of information available online. Yet, men still have the same attitude as Earl. I'm not sure if your post is trolling me, or if you're really that ignorant. I think that women have been lying to you, like we've been lying to men for a long time, just to feed your egos and get the sex over with.

    Well, I'm about to fuck you with some truth!

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    All men should read this...
    http://www.lilithgallery.com/feminis...al-Orgasm.html

    snip....
    "Whenever female orgasm and frigidity are discussed, a false distinction is made between the vaginal and the clitoral orgasm. Frigidity has generally been defined by men as the failure of women to have vaginal orgasms. Actually the vagina is not a highly sensitive area and is not constructed to achieve orgasm. It is the clitoris which is the center of sexual sensitivity and which is the female equivalent of the penis."

    Discuss?
    All I can say is this is definitely not true for me. I cannot stand my clitoris being touched. I find it painful and uncomfortable and not pleasing at ALL. I am a G-spot girl and it takes deep penetration for me to achieve orgasm. I can also orgasm on my own by deeply squeezing my vaginal muscles and tensing them in a certain way, but once again it's squeezing and stimulating the area around my gspot. My clitoris is dead to me! Even the word "clitoris" kinda makes me shiver, I hate being touched there that much.



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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    I'm pregnant right now so I my man can definitely tell when I'm *really* orgasming if he pays attention. Most men are concerned about their girlfriend's faking it as it is, but I never do. I think it's misleading and makes for bad sex. The increased blood flow to my genitals as a result of my pregnancy doesn't take away from my ability to have multiple orgasms either .

    Since my uterus is enlarged now, I can feel it tighten and contract during an orgasm. It's kind of weird, but I like it!
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    *"What I'm saying is, women do not orgasm from your cock moving in and out, in and out, alone. Your cock has ZERO power on its own. " *


    Correct ! LISTEN to your woman. MOST will need direct clitoral stimulation. Don't make her feel bad if she is in the majority that needs this. If you try to make her feel bad ... you are sexually uneducated and insensitive. Trying to convince your girl that should should come only through penetration is sort of like a girl saying to you " lets just play with your balls and ignore your penis and see if you'll get off " . Think of her clit as the head of your dick. She will like sexual activity best if it's involved. It needs to be involved. It's located a couple inches up on the outside so that she won't die in childbirth. Just because it's outside doesn't mean it's supposed to be ignored.

    Every man over 18 should know this stuff by now. I can not beleive there are men out there who don't.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    What I'm saying is, women do not orgasm from your cock moving in and out, in and out, alone. Your cock has ZERO power on its own.
    That statement is untrue for me, but I've been told by past sex partners that my ability to orgasm is not typical. Vaginal stimulation by a thrusting penis (if there is the right angling and pressure involved) is always enough to make me show my 'O' face.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by MsClaireVoyant View Post
    All I can say is this is definitely not true for me. I cannot stand my clitoris being touched. I find it painful and uncomfortable and not pleasing at ALL. I am a G-spot girl and it takes deep penetration for me to achieve orgasm. I can also orgasm on my own by deeply squeezing my vaginal muscles and tensing them in a certain way, but once again it's squeezing and stimulating the area around my gspot. My clitoris is dead to me! Even the word "clitoris" kinda makes me shiver, I hate being touched there that much.
    See ! That's why LISTENING TO HER is key. We are wired completely different.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    I didn't say the " cock has zero power " thing. Kiwi said that. I just couldn't get it into my quote quite right.

    I just hope that men understand not many women can do that. For the ones that can ... that's fabulous. But for the ones who can't ( me ) ...... don't make me feel bad.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    What I'm saying is, women do not orgasm from your cock moving in and out, in and out, alone. Your cock has ZERO power on its own.

    I think that women have been lying to you, like we've been lying to men for a long time, just to feed your egos and get the sex over with.

    Well, I'm about to fuck you with some truth!
    You don't know the women I know and have known and you will NEVER know the power of my penis. As for what you think is the truth is not the truth for women who like men.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by MsClaireVoyant View Post
    All I can say is this is definitely not true for me. I cannot stand my clitoris being touched. I find it painful and uncomfortable and not pleasing at ALL. I am a G-spot girl and it takes deep penetration for me to achieve orgasm. I can also orgasm on my own by deeply squeezing my vaginal muscles and tensing them in a certain way, but once again it's squeezing and stimulating the area around my gspot. My clitoris is dead to me! Even the word "clitoris" kinda makes me shiver, I hate being touched there that much.
    I know another woman who has said exactly this same thing to me. Pretty much word for word. She hates oral because of it. She's also, for lack of a better term a "size queen".

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    I wasn't trying to make you feel bad! I'm sorry if I came across that way.


    I support all women in their sexual adventures and I believe all women should orgasm daily--maybe evenly hourly.

    I honestly believe that men and women place too much emphasis on orgasm during sex. When you are in a relationship I believe the first goal of sex should be to promote intimacy and closeness. The exception to my belief is one night stands and fuck buddies.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    You don't know the women I know and have known and you will NEVER know the power of my penis. As for what you think is the truth is not the truth for women who like men.
    I disagree. A women who can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation doesn't have to "hate men". Plenty of women enjoy sex even if they can't orgasm through it alone. I, for one, am mostly clitoral and somewhat vaginal (mostly the very outer part) so those two things combined "do it" for me. (why am I telling you all this?) So, I don't "need" deep penetration in order to orgasm. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy it though.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    See ! That's why LISTENING TO HER is key. We are wired completely different.
    Really? I did not know different strokes for different folks. Tell me how you like it; I aim to please.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    I disagree. A women who can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation doesn't have to "hate men".
    That is not what I meant I was commenting on the tone of the article and the OP calming they and only they know what is true of all women. They don’t have a penis and don’t like those who do, probably penis envy.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    IMO, women who "hate men" were likely given good and ample reason to. To say it's "penis envy" is a bit flippant. That doesn't mean I agree with them. I'm just saying there's usually a deeper reason, and unfortunately not all women have had positive male relationships or influences. So sometimes they have nothing to counter that negative opinion. The same is true for many men who "hate women".

    The truth is, people can be horrible. Period. and IMO more are than are not. So, I don't hate men and I don't hate women... I just hate a vast % of the population, regardless.

    I try to give everyone a chance though.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    I felt like a sex god when I discovered the clitoris... I could make a girl orgasm in 10 minutes or less... But, even with women that can only climax through clitoral stimulation, they like playing with the penis and feeling it inside them... With my current GF, she'll get very aroused from vaginal penetration, but I'll rub my penis head on her clit to lead her to orgasm.

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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    i've been having orgasms on my own since probably 11. ya sounds creepy now i know. anyway, i slept with lots of guys in college but could never have an orgasm with a guy, even from him rubbing myself like i do. they obviously weren't as good at it as me. but when i was 22 and with my third real boyfriend, 6 months into the relationship i started having orgasms with him from sex. it was awesome. they were much different than by myself. now if the guy is really amazing i can cum like every 5 minutes. yay.
    so i don't think vaginal orgasms are a myth, its just different for everyone. i don't know if the stat is still valid of 25% of women never having an orgasm at all but i've def read that throughout my life.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by MsClaireVoyant View Post
    All I can say is this is definitely not true for me. I cannot stand my clitoris being touched. I find it painful and uncomfortable and not pleasing at ALL. I am a G-spot girl and it takes deep penetration for me to achieve orgasm. I can also orgasm on my own by deeply squeezing my vaginal muscles and tensing them in a certain way, but once again it's squeezing and stimulating the area around my gspot. My clitoris is dead to me! Even the word "clitoris" kinda makes me shiver, I hate being touched there that much.
    Certainly. I had a lady friend just like that. I hope that I didn't sound too black and white in my discussion, but you are the exception rather than the rule.

    Guess the "penis has zero power" thing came off as caustic.

    I still believe, from a biological perspective, that it takes some connection to the highly sensitive and blood vessel dense erectile tissue in order to trigger a standard orgasm for most women. Not all. There are, after all, some men who greatly enjoy their balls played with, and might get off to that even. But, from a biology perspective, the vaginal cavity itself does not have that many nerve endings...but is in very close proximity with erectile tissue. And since that tissue goes all around the vulva and along the inside of the vagina, I don't think we need to focus on just the head of the clit as the originator of orgasm.

    Orgasm can happen in many places, during many acts. But it takes erectile tissue stimulation to make it happen, or some proximity to it. FYI, I have orgasms during sex all the time. But there is always clit stim going on too, as my clit is fairly high up.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by laurcon View Post
    i don't know if the stat is still valid of 25% of women never having an orgasm at all but i've def read that throughout my life.
    I know quite a few women who haven't. I feel INCREDIBLY bad for them. I've been known to encourage toy use and whatnot when a girl says this to me though. I think sometimes you have to figure it out on your own before you can "tell" a guy what to do. I started having sex at 16 and I didn't orgasm until was 19. I mean, it felt "good" I just never climaxed. Once I did I became pretty determined to figure out why and how. For the next few years I had them every few times I had sex. I didn't have those "full body" shaking/speaking tongues type orgasms till I was 24. Now I've pretty much got it down pat. lol. I really believe that whole "women peak sexually later in life" thing though. I feel more sexual now than ever before, even though I've always been sexual. I swear something happened this last year. I turned 30 and my sex drive -sky rocketed-. I thought I wanted sex a lot before.. I was really wrong.

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    I also know women who have never had one. I've offered to help them try.

    And Earl, while I do not know your women, I do know that women often lie about orgasm in order to stroke the male ego, so he finishes the sex faster. Hookers and trophy wives do it, I presume that's the majority of your experience?

    Or, does $100 get a you fake orgasm these days?

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    Default Re: Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    IMO, women who "hate men" were likely given good and ample reason to.
    They were born that way but it's OK to be gay. Is it preferable to use butch lesbian?



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