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Thread: Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

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    Mind Blowing Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

    I started stripping when i was 18, i will be 19 in December, but also 6 months pregnant. I will be a single mom by the time my child is born. The boyfriend doesn't support my stripping anymore because i used to party too hard. And i need to make my money without having to support someone that is double plus one my age, and has 3 unsupported children of his own already. I really want to go back. I feel safe and made a lot of friends at the last club, but being a single mom and doing it? I don't know how it will work, but at the same time....i really need the money. I need to be independent instead of codependent on a loser.
    how do single moms do it? especially with newborns and no man also in a town where your only friends are strippers with the same hours as you so no babysitters?

    i really just need some advice as to whether its a good idea and if they can both be juggled while being a good mom.

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    God/dess britneyireland's Avatar
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    Default Re: Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

    Running a profitable stripping business has absolutely nothing to do with having a wild party lifestyle. If you choose to drink at work, stay out late after work with co-workers, and/or take illegal drugs...then that is a personal choice.

    I know MANY single moms who work sober, sell lapdances and champagne rooms, go home to their family after work, save and invest their money wisely.
    Rebecca Avalon







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    Veteran Member Lola_sinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

    Stripping can be an excellent job for a single mom for many reasons...but I think the key (especially for you, based on your post) is to NOT PARTY. Think about it-if you were a single mom with a typical day job, would you still be looking to go out and party on the weekends? Probably not, except maybe every once in a while.

    You can absolutely juggle stripping and raising a child on your own and in fact it is a job with many benefits for a single mother-you work far fewer hours than at a typical 9-5 job, and you work at night when your kid is asleep anyway. Plus, you have the opportunity to earn great money and save it for you/your child's future. Just make very sure that you stay sober at work, do not drink/smoke at all especially if you are breastfeeding. Tell your co-workers that you need to stay sober for your child's sake so they will not try as hard to get you to party with them. Or if you really struggle with it, maybe work at another club where nobody knows you for a while until you get used to working sober. Maybe a club where the girls aren't friendly with each other or are cold towards new girls would actually be good for you right now! It can be very hard for some people, especially at your age(Seriously, if I had started dancing t 18-19 it would have been dangerous fer me to be exposed to the oppurtunity to live such a wild lifestyle), but just tell yourself that you have to be responsible for a child now too. It IS possible to do this job sober and go home at the end of the night! Aaand, you may find that you are a better hustler when you are sober and have your wits about you.

    As far as finding a babysitter, I would encourage you to do a little research, there are probably many women in your area who wouldn't mind having your baby dropped off at their house in the evenings to keep an eye on. My parents found their family babysitter through a classified ad-she was a housewife with a few kids of her own and was happy to have another one dropped off every morning and picked up in the afternoon. Don't be afraid to be picky and keep looking until you find someone you like and trust.

    And congrats on dumping the middle-aged loser!

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    Default Re: Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

    To find good baby sitters go to your local job and family services, they have a booklet of babysitters tht are state certified(ask them for their child care packet). Interview carefully. newborns are going to cost more.
    Personally, with a habit of partying(is it your habit truely? or just what you have been told), and the stress you will be under, I would try to find an upscale resteraunt to work in untill the baby is 1, on a good lunch shift(4 hours) you can pull at least 100-a bad lunch shift is generally 50. Just my personal opinion. It can(dancing with a new baby), however, be done. It's just not always worth it.
    Also, using friends as babysitters, accept in dire emergencys, is a great way to lose friends.
    Just stay sober, your baby depends on you, and just drinking one drink can change your sleep to be deep eanouph to not hear an infants cry.
    What ever you choose, good luck to you.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

    hooray for dumping this guy! i remember a post of yours a while back, and it sounds like this is much overdue. I am happy for you!

    there are lots of single moms who strip. one of the things i learned from stripping as that some women can have like 6 kids and still have the body of a goddess afterwards. ask around at your club, you will probably be surprised to find out that women who you never would have guessed are parents. just take your job seriously and get a good babysitter and you will be fine. and if you want to be around more at night for your kid, there is always the day shift to work.

    good luck!
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

    Since you are currently six months pregnant, I'm assuming you aren't planning on dancing for at least 5 or 6 months from now. I'm going to be five months pregnant here in a bit, and I won't be dancing for over 9 months from now! Being a single mom and working late nights sounds like a better combination than being a single mom and having to work all freaking day, don't you think? You can have time to actually be a mom during the day, especially as your child ages and starts sleeping through the night, and you will likely enjoy having the daytime hours to spend with your child. I do not think it is an impossible feat to consider dancing as a way to make money and support yourself and your child, single mom or not. I hope what I've posted below helps.

    You mentioned that you don't have a reliable babysitting plan just yet. Where is the child's father going to be when you are dancing? If he is going to be involved (even if you two are separated) then perhaps you can work it out to where he takes his child overnight on the evenings when you work. If this is not a possibility, then consider asking a trusted friend, adult sibling, or relative to step in with some cheap babysitting assistance. They'll have to be flexible enough to work odd hours and even weekends, though. Asking a sibling, relative, or friend to offer long-term, reliable care might not be practical, especially if they have a day job.

    In the event that you cannot ask someone you already know to take the role of sporadic babysitter, then consider placing an ad on Craigslist. www.sitters.com is a great resource, and can even help by performing background checks and verifying references when the sitter or nanny places their ad. (At no cost to you)! If you do place an ad on Craigslist be sure to include the age of your child, and the estimated hours they will be needed weekly. You can explain that your schedule changes weekly and they will need to be flexible enough to work days, nights, and weekends to work for you.

    Keep in mind that you can look for a nanny--someone who is willing to cook, clean, and run errands for you in addition to providing child care. If you do find someone online you should take these steps to make sure you have a safe and satisfying experience with your new sitter:

    - Respond to any phone calls or e-mails about the babysitting or nanny position in a professional manner. Always introduce yourself by name, and be sure to address them by name as well.
    - You should be sure to ask for a resume, with references that have valid phone and e-mail addresses included, if you receive a phone call about a job. Request that they e-mail it to you so it can be delivered quickly and you can print it if necessary. If you receive any e-mails be sure to call the applicant if you want them to come in for an interview, as e-mails are sometimes considered impersonal.
    - Before you set up interviews be sure to type up a packet with your contact information, emergency numbers, the children's medical information, and any other useful information. This could include information that will be covered during the job interview, but by typing it there is no excuse for 'forgetting'.
    - Always dress and behave in a professional manner when you are interviewing the applicants. Ideally you will have at least three applicants that have valid references who you interview before making a decision.
    - During the interview you should discuss payment methods, (Whether hourly or a nightly salary), and how much they should expect to make. Refresh them on how many hours they will be working per week if hired, and remind them about your need for flexibility. You can explain that you get your schedule on X day of the week, and that they will be notified that day when they are needed. Discuss your policy on 'sick days' and vacation time DURING the interview. (You should think long and hard about this one). Talk to them about anything that makes you uneasy, and don't be afraid to tell them exactly what you expect. If you are going to require additional nanny-type services, be sure to discuss the nitty-gritty details during the interview. Discuss whether or not they will be sleeping over, even though you will get off at 2 AM or so. Take notes if you have to, so that you can remember the applicant's responses. Keep in mind that a thorough interview should take 30-60 minutes, and is best done in a public place. (Such as a Starbucks).
    - When making your decision about who you are going to hire, review all of the applicant's resumes and notes that you took during their interviews. Try to make the decision based on the person's ability and whether or not they meet your specific needs... don't settle!
    - Once you have made a decision you should call the selected employee and set up a second interview in your home. Be sure to have another adult present in your home for the interview for you and your child's safety, and to help keep the child content. During the second interview you should review the packet you gave them, and touch base on important things you expect from them. Give them a tour of your home, and specifically tell them which areas (if any) are off limits.
    - Always ask to make a copy of their driver's license when they are in your home for the second interview. You should do it at your home on your scanner so that you make sure all of the information is correct, and hasn't been tampered with. Ask for a second form of identification to scan if possible. You should put this copy away somewhere safe in case you ever need it. The information on their driver's license should be enough for a background check, and you should perform one before you allow them to watch your children. (Unless they had their ad listed on www.sitters.com with their background check already performed).

    I wish you the best of luck, and I hope the information above helps you find a great babysitter or nanny if you don't have a reliable person in mind right now. Feeling overwhelmed is expected at times, but just remember that everything will turn out OK! If you do truly feel that you will be grossly overwhelmed, consider hiring a nanny instead of a babysitter. They can help with cooking food, cleaning, and running errands. (Grocery shopping--hello)! You will obviously be spending more, and they will be required to stay the night more than likely, but you could work it out to where they only stayed overnight to help as a nanny once a week so that you could get some much-needed beauty sleep.

    I hope this helps!
    -Laurisa
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

    I wasn't WILD while I stripped.....I was wilder when I WASN'T stripping. Stripping gave me Self-Confidence, Indepedence, a feeling of Accomplishment and Finacial Stability and Success. Just because you dance doesn't mean you have to take your work home with you, (literally), or drink or do drugs......but if you went into it with that mentality-and after the bar closed, went to other parties or hung out with co-workers or got high, etc, etc- Maybe this ISN'T a good career choice for you right now. Just take the business approach to it.You need to realize your playing a part on stage, to make great money for you and your child's future- And not a stereotypical party bimbo who gets high after work and parties with custies/coworkers. When I danced- I was either at work, or college ,or picking up my kid at the sitter. Thats another thing- YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO FIND A TRUSTED, GOOD SITTER FOR YOUR CHILD! Can you say nanny-cam? Plus- you will not get much sleep with a new baby. I still haven't gone back yet and Im still trying to figure out HOW Im going to do it- BUT DAMN I MISS IT!! AND MY Self-esteem-lol...........

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    Default Re: Soon to be single mom...should i go back to the wild stripper life?

    I agree with Britney. Partying and stripping are not hand in hand. Now if you CAN'T do it without going in that direction, then it is not the job for you. You will need to shop around for child care. You can ask some of your co-workers if they use babysitters. If they do not have anyone they can refer, then you could place an ad. I have 6 kids and I am a stripper who doesn't have a wild party life. I go to work, do my job, come home and watch Three's Company. Sometimes I may have a few cocktails on the weekend. You can absolutely be a single mom and raise children. Just keep work, work. Just stay away from drugs and excessisive drinking.
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