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    Default escorting an your SO

    Im interested to hear about experiences with women that have decided to escort and having a boyfriend or husband

    did you start your relationship before or after you decided to escort?

    How is your relationship now?

    are there problems that come up?

    How did you "break it" to him ?

    is it hard to find an SO that would just deal with this?


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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by yogibear179 View Post
    Im interested to hear about experiences with women that have decided to escort and having a boyfriend or husband

    did you start your relationship before or after you decided to escort?

    How is your relationship now?

    are there problems that come up?

    How did you "break it" to him ?

    is it hard to find an SO that would just deal with this?
    In my opinion..don't tell him what you're doing. If you're doing something like bb sex ..Please tell him because you're bound to contract sometype of disease. It still angers me how some women risk their health just for an extra $100. Problems WILL come up ...IF NOT now ..then later..then the next thing you know ..he tells one person then that one person tells your whole family. It could easily turn out to be a nightmare. I have a man and he dosen't know and will never know until I choose to tell him or he finds out however. As long as you take good care of yourself (get regular checkups) and don't explore the sexual acronyms ...you should be fine....if you choose to tell him ..that's your perogative...Just my 2 cents.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    I have been in the sex trade industry for a very long time. so its the first thing they know about going into the relationship. as I do not have time to hide things and I do not have time to live a double life.

    The relationship as normal as any relationships will be, I do not know why people have to make a deal out of someone working in the sex industry and concerned about the SO. which is something that both people in the relationship have to work out together.
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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    I considered becoming an escort (its legal in Victoria Australia, but you get registered and health checks) but my husband was not ok with it.
    He didnt mind me doing massage (with 'happy endings') in a parlour, but the thought of another man putting ANYTHING inside my body really bothered him.
    So I stayed dancing (And TBH I make the same if not more than my escort friends, with heaps less work!)
    I researched the industry, joined a bunch of forums and met people who were escorting/visiting escorts, to get an idea of what to expect.
    Ironically hubbie commented that most of my Full Service friends are more 'together' than my stripper friends! And that they are up front and honest about sex for money, rather than giving a random HJ/BJ in VIP/in the carpark because they have a HUGE bill due/car payment/whatever.
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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by minniesoporno View Post
    I have been in the sex trade industry for a very long time. so its the first thing they know about going into the relationship. as I do not have time to hide things and I do not have time to live a double life.

    The relationship as normal as any relationships will be, I do not know why people have to make a deal out of someone working in the sex industry and concerned about the SO. which is something that both people in the relationship have to work out together.
    This is why i love you minnie. Well said.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by sexy_celeste View Post
    I considered becoming an escort (its legal in Victoria Australia, but you get registered and health checks) but my husband was not ok with it.
    He didnt mind me doing massage (with 'happy endings') in a parlour, but the thought of another man putting ANYTHING inside my body really bothered him.
    So I stayed dancing (And TBH I make the same if not more than my escort friends, with heaps less work!)
    I researched the industry, joined a bunch of forums and met people who were escorting/visiting escorts, to get an idea of what to expect.
    Ironically hubbie commented that most of my Full Service friends are more 'together' than my stripper friends! And that they are up front and honest about sex for money, rather than giving a random HJ/BJ in VIP/in the carpark because they have a HUGE bill due/car payment/whatever.
    Hello and thanks for posting,

    Here's my opinion, i've also been a dancer and the girls i encountered while dancing were the most greediest and cattiest and did not have their shit together...so i understand CLEARLY where you are coming from. The women i've gotten to know in the escort industry have their shit together .....and have things in control...and have a GOAL. I really honestly dont know what it is. I know SOME dancers that have it together but the ones i encountered while working at the "most upscale" urban club in charlotte were not one of them.

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    Lightbulb Re: escorting an your SO

    I'm not going to lie, I was interested in working as an escort. I am in a relationship at this time, but I also have worked as an entertainer for several years now. It's hard because there are times when I'd like to mix business with pleasure, but I don't just because you never know who's watching, and dancing is how I make my living. I'm not sure I could justify ten minutes in the parking lot vs. my job.

    I have had many friends who worked as escorts and they are quite successful. I don't know why it is with dancers so many of us are driven by this crazy money hunger. Then again, I can recall times where I was at my worst and hustling for singles just to get anything I could because people weren't spending money like they used to. Times change. Things change. People change.

    I'd eventually like to give escorting a shot, I think I'd be really good at it, but I have a lot on my plate at the moment. The appeal to me is having a clientele which appreciates me for the company and service I provide, rather than having to negate silly whimsical expectations and requests made by people who wish to treat my body like a pay toilet. I think escorting requires a different level of hustle because you're getting paid for your time in one lump sum, rather than spending the vast majority of your time scheming about how to KEEP someone in the mood to spend money.

    I'm sure this is a difficult subject and can be the final test for many relationships. I think it's important for everyone involved to understand that it's business. You're providing a service and being compensated for that. I'm sure it's not that simple in some cases, but for the sake of explaining it to one's SO, that's probably the most important rule to drive home.

    With that said, has anyone who has worked as an escort ever developed feelings for one of their clients? How did you handle that? How do you draw that line? That's the only variable in the situation that is sure to create problems in the business arrangement. Not to mention the jealousy on behalf of the SO if they felt they were getting "less" than your clients.
    Last edited by Kimbre; 11-25-2009 at 03:48 AM. Reason: Stupid keyboard.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimbre View Post
    I'm not going to lie, I was interested in working as an escort. I am in a relationship at this time, but I also have worked as an entertainer for several years now. It's hard because there are times when I'd like to mix business with pleasure, but I don't just because you never know who's watching, and dancing is how I make my living. I'm not sure I could justify ten minutes in the parking lot vs. my job.

    I have had many friends who worked as escorts and they are quite successful. I don't know why it is with dancers so many of us are driven by this crazy money hunger. Then again, I can recall times where I was at my worst and hustling for singles just to get anything I could because people weren't spending money like they used to. Times change. Things change. People change.

    I'd eventually like to give escorting a shot, I think I'd be really good at it, but I have a lot on my plate at the moment. The appeal to me is having a clientele which appreciates me for the company and service I provide, rather than having to negate silly whimsical expectations and requests made by people who wish to treat my body like a pay toilet. I think escorting requires a different level of hustle because you're getting paid for your time in one lump sum, rather than spending the vast majority of your time scheming about how to KEEP someone in the mood to spend money.

    I'm sure this is a difficult subject and can be the final test for many relationships. I think it's important for everyone involved to understand that it's business. You're providing a service and being compensated for that. I'm sure it's not that simple in some cases, but for the sake of explaining it to one's SO, that's probably the most important rule to drive home.

    With that said, has anyone who has worked as an escort ever developed feelings for one of their clients? How did you handle that? How do you draw that line? That's the only variable in the situation that is sure to create problems in the business arrangement. Not to mention the jealousy on behalf of the SO if they felt they were getting "less" than your clients.
    Hello Kimbre,

    I first started out as a camgirl then trasitioned to exotic dancer and I'm now an independent VIP companion (escort) and I'll tell you I have NEVER met a guy for escorting services OTC or done anything sexual in the SC. Some dancers are quick to do this then turn around and say "I'll never sell my body" bla bla bla..I've seen it many times as a dancer and at that time i didn't think twice about it because i thought i'd "NEVER" become an escort so it didn't concern me what the girls were doing.

    **** This is not directed to you but to girls who think it's a good idea to start out escorting in the strip club: It's a very stupid idea. Why? Because you do NOT know the guy, You obviously did not screen him(You know anything about him just what he tells you) and you could easily get busted.

    Now to answer your question: Have I ever developed feeling for a client? No. It's unprofessional. The client is paying me to leave. Escorting is a no-strings attached agreement. After the appointment is over, He does not want me to call him Nor does me want you to show up at his house. If he wants to see me again he can call or email me..Escorts who find themselves falling in love with clients are not very successfull.

    You asked "HOw do you draw that line"... IT'S A BUSINESS!! OR
    ......

    You can provide your services for free because you're not an escort. You've fallen in love with him and he's told his friends and those friends have told other friends and the whole community knows you're falling in love with your customers and offering free services LOL (That's funny PLease don't do this). As an escort you're providing a service, it's simply a business agreement.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    These are great questions.
    I don't tell guys that I strip but I'm not in a relationship either. The escorting conversation seems like it would be more complex.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by malayataylor View Post
    In my opinion..don't tell him what you're doing. If you're doing something like bb sex ..Please tell him because you're bound to contract sometype of disease. It still angers me how some women risk their health just for an extra $100. Problems WILL come up ...IF NOT now ..then later..then the next thing you know ..he tells one person then that one person tells your whole family. It could easily turn out to be a nightmare. I have a man and he dosen't know and will never know until I choose to tell him or he finds out however. As long as you take good care of yourself (get regular checkups) and don't explore the sexual acronyms ...you should be fine....if you choose to tell him ..that's your perogative...Just my 2 cents.
    What exactly do you mean by "exploring the acronyms"? TF ("translated french", or blow job with a condom on) is an acronym. FS (full service, or sex) is an acronym. DATY (dining at the Y, or having a man go down on a woman) is an acronym. DFK/LFK (deep french kissing/light french kissing) are acronyms. Every escort has to "explore an acronym" If they don't, what exactly do they do?

    And please, remember, even condoms do not protect against all diseases all the time. I already did my soapbox speech on STDs (hey! an acronym!) in another thread on here so won't repeat.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by yogibear179 View Post
    Im interested to hear about experiences with women that have decided to escort and having a boyfriend or husband

    did you start your relationship before or after you decided to escort?

    How is your relationship now?

    are there problems that come up?

    How did you "break it" to him ?

    is it hard to find an SO that would just deal with this?
    I have been married for 16 years. I became an escort 4 years ago, after we were done having kids and after seriously discussing the risks/rewards.

    It's worked out for us. Sex is sex. We do use condoms all the time and will until I'm done working for 6 months and have gotten all my "final exams", as you can never be sure if you've caught something even with a condom. He doesn't get jealous because it's a job, nothing more. I have even climaxed with clients and it's a biological function then, not an emotional event, so we're ok with that too.

    I've worked my schedule so I only see one client a day and only DURING the day, unless it's a special client. I make amazing money which has allowed us to pay off our mortgage, go on great vacations, save for colleges, and do lots of stuff we otherwise may not have been able to do. My husband has a great job (85k a year, benefits) but when you add up mortgage, day to day bills, kids, car payments ... there's not alot left over. The extra 150k a year I've averaged has been extremely nice and we don't get crazy with it, ie, we drive Fords, not Hummers, we invest much more than we spend on clothes and electronics, etc.

    Escorting with an SO is doable but you both have to be on same page. Honesty is crucial.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Clare View Post
    What exactly do you mean by "exploring the acronyms"? TF ("translated french", or blow job with a condom on) is an acronym. FS (full service, or sex) is an acronym. DATY (dining at the Y, or having a man go down on a woman) is an acronym. DFK/LFK (deep french kissing/light french kissing) are acronyms. Every escort has to "explore an acronym" If they don't, what exactly do they do?

    And please, remember, even condoms do not protect against all diseases all the time. I already did my soapbox speech on STDs (hey! an acronym!) in another thread on here so won't repeat.
    I refuse to elaborate on this. I'm done posting on sw about escorting after the last thread. Thanks.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Clare View Post
    He doesn't get jealous because it's a job, nothing more. I have even climaxed with clients and it's a biological function then, not an emotional event, so we're ok with that too.

    I've worked my schedule so I only see one client a day and only DURING the day, unless it's a special client. I make amazing money which has allowed us to pay off our mortgage, go on great vacations, save for colleges, and do lots of stuff we otherwise may not have been able to do. My husband has a great job (85k a year, benefits) but when you add up mortgage, day to day bills, kids, car payments ... there's not alot left over. The extra 150k a year I've averaged has been extremely nice and we don't get crazy with it, ie, we drive Fords, not Hummers, we invest much more than we spend on clothes and electronics, etc.

    Escorting with an SO is doable but you both have to be on same page. Honesty is crucial.
    Wow, you found yourself a rare man there! The vast majority of men would never be able to handle this. I can handle being in a relationship with a dancer, but not this, no fucking way. More power to you both.

    As far as the idea of not telling the SO, that is as disrespectful as you can possibly get--without maybe stabbing or shooting him. You want respect, you gotta give it first. A guy who is being lied to on that level should immediately dump the liar and all her belongings out on the curb, if it's his house. If not, he should get as far away as fast as he can.
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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    As far as the idea of not telling the SO, that is as disrespectful as you can possibly get--without maybe stabbing or shooting him. You want respect, you gotta give it first. A guy who is being lied to on that level should immediately dump the liar and all her belongings out on the curb, if it's his house. If not, he should get as far away as fast as he can.
    Agreed. I can't imagine how terrible it would be to be lied to about something like that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    I, too, concur. I wouldn't be able to handle the stress of trying to maintain a secret that size and living a lie.

    By the way, thank you MT. I realize it's a business. I asked that question, because it's one of those things I think my SO might be concerned about. When he and I discussed this facet of the Industry, I simply explained that as with anything, this is all business. I'm still coming home to him. Some days, that answer seems like enough, and other days it doesn't.

    Regardless, I've not started as an escort, I think he's not comfortable with it, but I know the work is there if I want it, should anything in my life change. Thanks again.

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    ^^^Kudos to you for having the courage to be honest with him.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    ^^^Kudos to you for having the courage to be honest with him.
    I agree

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    did you start your relationship before or after you decided to escort? I have been with a guy but we are not in a relationship. So no??

    How is your relationship now? same situation, its kinda.. its really more for the sex and he is the only guy that has helped me relax and solve my problems (he is older than me, maybe wiser) but he is a fucking ass hole, he text other girls while he is with me .. ya rude

    are there problems that come up? he thinks Im a dancer, but Im looking for a better cover story.. anyone??

    How did you "break it" to him ? i didnt

    is it hard to find an SO that would just deal with this? I dont know if anyone would understand, its just for the money

    I want a regular boyfriend, so bad.. I just miss having someone help me with my problems and support me.. I dont have a lot of supportive friends. only two people know about me escorting and that is one of my bfs and my mom... my bff doesnt know I know she would freak.. kinda suck I wish I could tell her..


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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    I can handle being in a relationship with a dancer, but not this, no fucking way.
    One never really knows if she is and not telling though.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimbre View Post
    I, too, concur. I wouldn't be able to handle the stress of trying to maintain a secret that size and living a lie.

    By the way, thank you MT. I realize it's a business. I asked that question, because it's one of those things I think my SO might be concerned about. When he and I discussed this facet of the Industry, I simply explained that as with anything, this is all business. I'm still coming home to him. Some days, that answer seems like enough, and other days it doesn't.

    Regardless, I've not started as an escort, I think he's not comfortable with it, but I know the work is there if I want it, should anything in my life change. Thanks again.
    .

    I think the hardest part is living a lie... I have someone at home.. We don't call each other bf/ gf but we pretty much are.. I tell him I dance but he is a little curious if that's what I do... I think he believes me, I just thinks I make more money than dancers should.. Which is true I make a dancers income for a week in one day.. About a grand a day... I've been in the escort business fir three months now and I haven't had a day I did not make a grand a day.. I work with a great agency, not only they give me a large cut and pay my expensise they really care about the girls. If I'm having other problems like tryn to balance my life away from home, school, kids, friends, boyfriend they are always there to try and help..

    I stay in bad ass hotels too!! I'm at the Sherton right now, 5stars! I love this hotel! But the hardest is living a lie for sure.. I told my mom and one friend that I know would support me.. My other friends don't like that I dance but they all have advantages that I don't, they are without kids and thier parents help them.. I have kids and my mom can't help me. In fact I help my mom out with money. I was very poor growing up my mom did her best but I made a promise to myself that my kids would never worry about money..I know I can't do this forever and I don't plan on it.. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do yet, I wanna finish school just to have a degree but when my mom gets her inheritant (6 million,plus property) we are going to open some kind of business.. I wanna own property for sure, and we shouldn't be waiting more than a few years for our inherritants.. It's my great grandparents and they are in bad health and very old.. I'm not waiting for them to pass but sometimes I think my grandma would be better in heaven , god bless her she has a rough time right now.. But anyways escorting is very hard on the part you will have to lie to everyone you meet, and it's lonely.. But the money and freedom is great, I never work when I have my kids and I know they love that..


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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimbre View Post
    I, too, concur. I wouldn't be able to handle the stress of trying to maintain a secret that size and living a lie.

    By the way, thank you MT. I realize it's a business. I asked that question, because it's one of those things I think my SO might be concerned about. When he and I discussed this facet of the Industry, I simply explained that as with anything, this is all business. I'm still coming home to him. Some days, that answer seems like enough, and other days it doesn't.

    Regardless, I've not started as an escort, I think he's not comfortable with it, but I know the work is there if I want it, should anything in my life change. Thanks again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    One never really knows if she is and not telling though.






    Rolling my eyes. If you knew anything about anything you would know relationships are built on trust.. And sometimes you just have to trust that other person.. The girl might not tell her bf she is an escort because she knows he won't understand and she kniws it's best for them both if she tells a lie..
    I would be ok if my husband did it as long as he didn't have feelings for the other women and he came home and took care of me and his family. No one understand that it all comes down to it's a job, just like any other job except we make more money than most and a few other things


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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    One never really knows if she is and not telling though.
    Well i would assume that he would only date someone he trusted. Sometimes you just hafta trust people. If i date someone, i have no way of knowing if they cheat on me unless i decide to start reading their emails and texts and all that crazy bitch stuff. But i take the leap of faith and assume that they are not cheating on me unless i have reason to believe that they are.

    Dancers and extras are no different. Hopefully you date one who is a good honest partner. There are regular women who are honest and faithful, and their are regular women who lie and cheat. Same with dancers-- there are dancers who are honest and faithful and clean dancers, and there are dancers who are dishonest and suck dick in the VIP rooms. There is no reason to assume that your dancer girlfriend is sucking dick for money any more than there is reason to assume that your civillian girlfriend is fucking the gardener.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimbre View Post
    I, too, concur. I wouldn't be able to handle the stress of trying to maintain a secret that size and living a lie.

    By the way, thank you MT. I realize it's a business. I asked that question, because it's one of those things I think my SO might be concerned about. When he and I discussed this facet of the Industry, I simply explained that as with anything, this is all business. I'm still coming home to him. Some days, that answer seems like enough, and other days it doesn't.

    Regardless, I've not started as an escort, I think he's not comfortable with it, but I know the work is there if I want it, should anything in my life change. Thanks again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    One never really knows if she is and not telling though.






    Rolling my eyes. If you knew anything about anything you would know relationships are built on trust.. And sometimes you just have to trust that other person.. The girl might not tell her bf she is an escort because she knows he won't understand and she kniws it's best for them both if she tells a lie..
    I would be ok if my husband did it as long as he didn't have feelings for the other women and he came home and took care of me and his family. No one understand that it all comes down to it's a job, just like any other job except we make more money than most and a few other things


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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    There is no reason to assume that your dancer girlfriend is sucking dick for money any more than there is reason to assume that your civillian girlfriend is fucking the gardener.
    There is no reason to assume she is not; you know what happens when we ass/u/me.

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    Default Re: escorting an your SO

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    There is no reason to assume she is not; you know what happens when we ass/u/me.
    no I think you should assume she is not!! Husseling a dance can be fucking hard, now I'll ask you again WHY do u keep posting here???!???!?!??!??! Don't you have anything better to do than talk shit on sex workers?? Seriously get a life! He'll I'd be happy you just stop posting, drool over your keybord all you want but stop posting!!!!!


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