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Thread: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

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    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
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    Mind Blowing Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    My boyfriends birthday is coming up and I'd like to take him for dance at a strip club (not mine). I'm a tiny bit worried he won't go along with it tho. He went to clubs in michigan/canada before we met. He got BJ once, went home with a girl yadda yadda yadda. Yet since dating a stripper for the last two years (me), he now says it isn't Sexy!! I've repeatedly mentioned we should go as customers and he always tells me it wouldn't turn him on and that he doesn't find it sexy to watch strippers disrobe.

    Do you think he's bluffing? Like he just says that to reinforce the notion in my head that I shouldn't be dancing?

    I have 2 theories: One is that going to a club as customers would "normalize" the event so much that all of my convictions to someday quit would fade away, we become lifestyle perverts...hahaha

    and TWO- it will open Pandora's box for him because now he KNOWS there are hot sexy ladies willing to grind on him and I basically gave my stamp of approval for him to get some. Like maybe he's afraid of his own male sexual drive and after getting dances, pornography/fantasy will be a pale substitute to the warm boobies a strange female.

    What do you think?

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    Featured Member london's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    Speaking from my own and fellow dancer-friends' experience, the allure of going to a club really does get diminished quite dramatically when a guy dates a stripper. Why? Because, throughout your time together, he sees/hears the behind-the-scenes.

    Therefore, he KNOWS (assumes(?) rightly or wrongly)that a lot of the dancers have a similar mentality as you do when you rave about doing really well or really shitty. The dancer's boyfriend comes to know what we are all about when they are in our 'personal' world. Due to this exposure, it dampens the fantasy that a dancer is really into HIM and not just how much money they can get from him/what bill they need to pay.

    If you're already a really good hustler, then he knows that no matter how hot and convincing any other girl is, the bottom line is that she is putting on a 'persona' because your guy knows that you know how to 'put on the charm' just as well as them!

    Going with you compounds the issue even more. He will know that, yes, since you're a dancer he doesn't have to worry about the typical jealous reactions of a different girlfriend, but he also knows that you and the ladies always have the upper hand and know the game. So the mystique is lost.

    Now, if he were out with his guys having a strip night on the town, he could

    a)'suspend disbelief' to a certain extent because he is in a group of guys who all 'want' to drink the 'fantasy' koolaid for a little while.

    and/or

    b) enjoy listening to his friends crow about how much "Mandy" and " Candy" really, really like them and are totally going to call them, go to dinner with them, hook up with them afterwards (for free!), etc...while he chuckles to himself and shakes his head knowing that he knows better.

    I don't think your going with him as a customer in a new club will make him think you are easing into being a 'lifer' nor that he is unaware of all the sexy possibilities with erotic women (seeing as he has shared his past experiences with, uh, liberal strippers). I wouldn't necessarily recommend not going at all, but perhaps not on his birthday if he didn't seem too into it.

    You could always take him out to a nice, trendy restaurant/bar and be his sexy arm candy and go look at hot civilian chicks together....maybe bring a few guy and girlfriends with you and tease him a bit by dancing seductively with a girlfriend. That would remove any weirdness surrounding 'pay for play' issues (in reference to strip-clubbing) and remind him that you are his personal hot stripper who wants to show him her sexy side outside of the SC world.

    (I have done the 'sexy arm candy' thing with my guy and that makes him MUCH happier than accompanying me to strip clubs. I have to admit,though, it was secretly always more for my own research into new clubs than his amusement!)

    Good luck! Hope this helps!
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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    Quote Originally Posted by london View Post
    Speaking from my own and fellow dancer-friends' experience, the allure of going to a club really does get diminished quite dramatically when a guy dates a stripper. Why? Because, throughout your time together, he sees/hears the behind-the-scenes.
    Yep. I've ruined strip clubs for my husband because of this!

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    ^same for my bf

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    Member lizzybaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    I would think that you two going to a strip club would normalize it for him. If he isn't totally comfortable with you dancing, maybe he's like been ignoring that aspect and pretending it doesn't exist. You two going to a club would throw it out in the open. And also maybe he is afraid of what he will see - some nasty girl doing something, and he doesnt want to think that you do that sort of thing too.

    My quasi ex (broken up but still talk everyday) hated that I danced, and we basically just wouldnt talk about it. But occasionally something about strippers would come up - in a movie or on the radio (like har har, strippers are sluts) and he would get this look on his face like he was in pain. It sucked.

    Anyways, I think he is trying to go with the out of sight, out of mind approach. Thats just my opinion, not knowing anything about him haha.

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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    All 3 LTR I've had in the course of my stripping...none of the guys were interested in going to the club. Actually, I can even add in about 5 other guys I dated for less than that....they just aren't into it. My current SO likes to go when there is a fight night...he can watch fighting, and I can watch the girls...but some guys aren't super into it. I think those guys are awesome, because they aren't all hung up on the SC scene, and dating strippers.

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    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    Yeah, looks like I will be getting him (us) some porn instead. I'm thinking "pirates" and "pirates 2". I asked him point blank about the strip club thing- like if he wouldn't enjoy it because he knows the girls have boyfriends at home, etc. He said he just doesn't think they deserve any of his money! I was like, "Yeah but it's my money we'd be spending" and then he said he doesn't think they have enough skill to be paid for anything (!!!) I'm like OK...not gonna argue with stupid logic like that. You aren't paying them for their higher education begot "skill", you're paying them because they let you get close to their hot bodies! It's a service and it costs money. BAHH! Anywho, I guess I'll satisfy my own urges to get lapdances/be a SC customer sometime in the near-distant future like valentines day??

    I just think it would be so fun to get all nerdy and shy TOGETHER. Like we search for our favorite, try and approach her or call her over, and then afterwards we gush about it to eachother like "OMG I thought she was gonna kiss me! Did she touch your crotch? That was crazy! Let's get out of here!!"

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    Featured Member london's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    What if you tried a peep show, couples massage, or dungeon together? Then it'd be totally new to the both of you and still in the 'sexy' realm.
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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    Quote Originally Posted by peachplumpear View Post
    I asked him point blank about the strip club thing- like if he wouldn't enjoy it because he knows the girls have boyfriends at home, etc. He said he just doesn't think they deserve any of his money! I was like, "Yeah but it's my money we'd be spending" and then he said he doesn't think they have enough skill to be paid for anything (!!!) "
    Wow..thats a whole other issue because it shows that he doesnt respect what you do and how hard you work. And that hes stupid enough to actually say it to your face.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

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    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers not sexy? Is he bluffing?

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    Wow..thats a whole other issue because it shows that he doesnt respect what you do and how hard you work. And that hes stupid enough to actually say it to your face.
    Well, I didn't take offense to it... He knows me really well, he knows how many other things I do well and that my stripping IS really taking the easy way out. I might work hard and have bruised knees and emotional stress but it's not the same as working hard on chemistry homework or going on an interview in business casual wear or something. From a a male perspective: it's "easy" for a hot girl to take her clothes off, because when he does the same thing- there's nobody waving money in front of him.

    Stripping isn't really "what I do" it's just something I've been doing for a while...Despite being on this site a tone (ha ha) I still try not to make it the only thing I define myself by.

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