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Thread: Unintentional strip club hilarity

  1. #1
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Unintentional strip club hilarity

    What are some really funny things that have happened while you are at work?

    I was working at Star's Cabaret in Salem, Oregon when a female custy was just hating on all the strippers all night long. She was being straight up mean to the girls, shooting daggers from her eyes at the stage, talking shit, the whole bit.

    At the end of the night, when we went to lap dancing only (last 30 mins club was open), she decided to get up on stage. She stripped totally nude. Well, that is besides her white glowing TAMPON STRING!

    Schadenfreude never felt so good!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    hahaha
    tell the wannabe stripper to cut the string

    speaking of weird female custies we had one last night. she was convinced she slept with all the dancers and the female manager. we told her no but she actually argued for about half hour that we all slept with her at some point we just dont remember. she never came in before, never met her in my life...

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    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    other strange but quotable funny thing happened was when a really strange sub came in and said he would only get a private show if i slapped him, stuffed my gstring down his throat and choked him. then when i asked for money after a bit of compromise he proceeded to tell me he was scared of me hes not sure if he wants to go coz i might hurt him.
    he kept saying that so i told him i think hes bullshitting and he didnt have enough money. then he kept insisting i dont know who his friend is and not to offend him coz he has thousands in the bank so i was like good give me a bit for your entertainment and he went back on loop 'im scared of u. till i walked off and he finally gave me cash

    by that point i was so pissed off i was glad i could slap him hard

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    - girl fell flat on her face coming off the stage (literally did not put her hands out)
    - girls tampon pushed out in a double show. It fell onto the stage right in front of everyone
    - same guy bought my underwear 3 times...for $50 each time
    - girl fell off the stage
    - female customer paid me then stripped for me. Got complete naked and no one noticed. She later got kicked out for being too drunk.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    -

    - female customer paid me then stripped for me. Got complete naked and no one noticed. She later got kicked out for being too drunk.

    LOL!!! that is hilarious. I wish that would happen to me! I hope she was hot!
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    ^Ummm ya she was waaaay hot! She is the only customer I kinda later met up with and well... ops She was a crazy exhibitionist. We went to a nightclub first and she was fully pulling up my dress and trying to take her own pants off on the dance floor LOL. hmmm I really should ring her.

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    - girl fell flat on her face coming off the stage (literally did not put her hands out)
    - girls tampon pushed out in a double show. It fell onto the stage right in front of everyone
    That first one is hilarious.

    The second one...ew. Just ew.

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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    I still maintain that the girl crapping on the stage unintentionally was the funniest thing I have ever seen.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    ^ was this accidental? It reminds me of my friend who is a fitness instructor. He said a woman once shat and it fell on the floor in a Les Mills Body Attack class. LOL and ewwwww for anyone stuck in that class!

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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I still maintain that the girl crapping on the stage unintentionally was the funniest thing I have ever seen.
    I don't believe it
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Senior Member asianlady's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    I farted a big one while lap dancing the guy a bit drunk says I heard that I could of died from embaressment
    small and cute

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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    What are some really funny things that have happened while you are at work?

    I was working at Star's Cabaret in Salem, Oregon when a female custy was just hating on all the strippers all night long. She was being straight up mean to the girls, shooting daggers from her eyes at the stage, talking shit, the whole bit.

    At the end of the night, when we went to lap dancing only (last 30 mins club was open), she decided to get up on stage. She stripped totally nude. Well, that is besides her white glowing TAMPON STRING!

    Schadenfreude never felt so good!
    OMG...I'm pretty sure I worked there...the stage is smack in the middle, but theres another section to the left of the front door(if you are looking at the front door from inside the club) where there are chairs and you can do a bed dance.And in the main section there are also 2 corner stages in the back of the room..?

    If its that place...even funnier. Since its totally front and center and a well lit stage...I'm sure EVERYONE saw it!!

    I dont know if I would have been able to contain myself from pointing the glowing string out to her!!

    Also..how the hell was she not tossed before she even got totally naked? The bouncers at that place ROCK! One (my fav..I loved him but cant for the life of me remember his name. He gives awesome neck massages though...totally helped me when my neck/shoulder seized up on me one night) physically tossed a group of guys out because they were bugging me to "show them something" on theback stage by the bar, but they refused to tip. I loved that bouncer!

    That was one of my fav clubs I worked at while I was in OR.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I don't believe it
    Nude club. Thought she was going to fart. Piece of turd. She was already drunk and the weirdest fucking chick I have ever met.

    /Fin

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Nude club. Thought she was going to fart. Piece of turd. She was already drunk and the weirdest fucking chick I have ever met.

    /Fin
    oh no. that is a disaster!
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Veteran Member pinupgurl2k6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    I watched a husband and wife lose it in a club over the wife wanting a 1300,00 vip. In the end nobody was happy but I felt, like I was stepping into a Soap Opera.

    I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe and went on stage once.. I even had to laugh at that myself.

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    Veteran Member dtxgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    Thought I'd bump this since someone was asking for funny stories in another thread.

    I was making silly faces at someone across the room trying to get them to come up to the stage when I walked into the pole - HARD, AND LOUDLY. Like, bodyslammed it. the whole room cracked up.
    Pole = 1 .... Me = 0......

    Then the time when I was doing a fan dance and had only practiced in my burlesque heels, not my stripper ones. Did the clamshell thing where you lean back to open the fans, and totally fell off the stage.... onto a customer... I was crying I was laughing so hard.

    I was bored and it was pouring out so I stole an umbrella from the manager and tap danced on stage to singing in the rain..... Made a shit ton of money on stage from that!!!

    Hmmm... there's way more.. let me remember..

  19. #17
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    I broke a lap dance couch with a customer my first night at my new place. It just sort of went " pop " and we fell like a foot into it ( still on the cushion which just sunk in ) .

  20. #18
    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unintentional strip club hilarity

    Kinda funny, but also gross and at the time I was PISSED because management laughed at me. I slipped on a condom full of you-know-what and busted my ass in the VIP at my old club. There were always nasty extras going on there, and I had seen girls with condoms but never saw any used ones being discarded improperly.....I guess I was the unlucky one to have encountered such a mess....I didn't get anything on me or on my shoe, thank god....At the time it wasn't funny but looking back on it, I guess it is in a way....

    I spilled a glass of wine onto my customer's lobster and steak. He was way cool about it. Laughed and ordered another one which they gave him for free cause he was a pretty good, loyal patron.....His response was "Cheers!" I miss that guy

    My friend who I work with is pretty wild on stage, especially with the girl who come up. There was this chick one night in a arm sling sitting at the tip rail just absolutely wasted.....she was tipping the crap out of us all night and wanting us to rough her up, well, my friend goes to do the backwards, ass in the crotch simulated-sex move and the girl falls backward, slams into her chair and then the chair falls over with her in it. She was so wasted she just layed there until someone came to help her up. We were laughing and saying we wonder how she got the hurt arm!

    I was talking to a customer the other night and my gum fell out and into his lap. I thought it was funny, but he was kind of an a-hole about it.

    My shoe flew off my foot one night and skipped across the stage, flipped up over the side rail and landed on some guy's table with a pitcher of beer on it.....they were good sports about it, but the guys next to them were being a-holes saying "That's bullshit, someone could have got hurt, we should all get free drinks" I swear people were always trying to get something for free in that club.....

    I also changed into top and skirt one time, in a hurry to get on for reduced house fee and forgot to change out of my regular underwear. I had to do 3 stages, too.....

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