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Thread: Whats the best way to get through to someone?

  1. #26
    Veteran Member jadelady's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats the best way to get through to someone?

    I say this with respect..
    sounds like you are trying to control a situation that is out of your control. I think he has to make the personal decision to seek help. Maybe you could bring up therapy as an option, but forcing the idea of mental illness and psychiatric evaluation/treatment could cause a lot of harm. I say this from personal experience and research of my own. What you can provide to him is love and support.

  2. #27
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats the best way to get through to someone?

    Quote Originally Posted by peachplumpear View Post
    I don't understand. Do you mean dual-dependence? As in, he's addicted to more than one thing?

    Or are you implying that I am somehow co-dependent to him? We haven't even talked in forever. I don't need for him to stay screwy in order to feel like I'm "helping". I honestly do want him to get better.

    I think his social group is co-dependent on each other's failures. They're homeless for chissakes, if anybody gets a job or apartment the coolest thing to do is to get fired or kicked out probably. They're like : "Who cares, you still got your buddies and your drugs right?"

    Numerous times I had to escape bad social situations. It isn't easy to turn your back on friends, but I just had to remind myself that our freindship was based on addiction, and it wasn't a healthy, REAL friendship.
    Co-dependence is where one or more people perpetuate the addiction and behavior by aiding and shielding the addict from the fall out of their actions. The co-dependent could be the mother who helps her child with drug and bail out money or a group of people sharing resources simply so they can continue doing drugs.

    Your father refuses to be a co-dependent to your brother and this is the right thing to do.

    Your leaving behind people who are bad for you are examples of leaving co-dependence.

  3. #28
    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Whats the best way to get through to someone?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol View Post
    Co-dependence is where one or more people perpetuate the addiction and behavior by aiding and shielding the addict from the fall out of their actions. The co-dependent could be the mother who helps her child with drug and bail out money or a group of people sharing resources simply so they can continue doing drugs.

    Your father refuses to be a co-dependent to your brother and this is the right thing to do.

    Your leaving behind people who are bad for you are examples of leaving co-dependence.
    Oh, OK...I looked it up after I read your post and I guess *some* of my my ideas for my brother WERE a little "codependent" Like, I never told him this, (or anyone else) but I had been thinking of giving him my car or just a bunch of money for school, but it felt wrong deep down, so I didn't do it, it felt sort of desperate and like it wouldn't have helped him anyway.

    You are right about my dad and mom both, she has a million excuses for him and my dad does not. I fall somewhere in between right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by jadelady View Post
    I say this with respect..
    sounds like you are trying to control a situation that is out of your control. I think he has to make the personal decision to seek help. Maybe you could bring up therapy as an option, but forcing the idea of mental illness and psychiatric evaluation/treatment could cause a lot of harm. I say this from personal experience and research of my own. What you can provide to him is love and support.
    Well, I will be visiting up there soon maybe but for now, I can't do much else but write myspace messages at him and maybe he'll check it every few weeks. All in all, I'm sad he's not around, but I'm happy he has a place to spend the winter. I give him about 6 months if he really is doing acid, before he "see's the light". That's about the going length of a spiritual awakening these days. I'm just worried that like boys will be boys, he'll take too much acid and never come back. It seems like all the girls I know who did acid were fine and ended up leading creative, productive lives... but a LOT of the guys I know did acid at the same time, took MORE, of everything really, and now they live lives FAR FAR below their supposed "potential" at one point....

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