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Thread: Dear customers

  1. #1
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Dear customers

    I'm going to try to make this as non-ranty as I possibly can, but I really want to know the answer to this question. Why, in a non-grinding club, when the rules have been clearly stated, would a customer CONTINUOUSLY try to direct/push/pull/whatever a dancer towards his dick? Obviously we KNOW where it is and we arent touching it for a reason. After repeatedly pulling away when a guy does this, redirecting myself away from his cock, flat out telling him I don't do that..etc.. I'm left wondering "how the hell does he not consider this to be wrong?" It's very obviously a forceful thing to be doing. They're trying to make the girl do something against her will. Do they not see it this way or do they and they just don't give a shit? How do they rationalize it? I'm not playing dumb, I'm serious. Because when I finally get fed up completely and end a dance or tell a customer I won't do another one, he whines about it and says "why?" or "I didn't mean to offend you, I'm sorry" etc etc.

    What???

    How could you possibly feel like what you're doing is acceptable when the dancer is saying "no" and you're pulling on her hips hard enough to white your knuckles?

    I'm not saying all of you customers here on this forum do this, but you're guys and customers after all. Do you think that their opinion of us is so low it allows them to enter some sort of guilt-free zone? Or do they feel entitled to it because they paid? Or do they really not "understand" like so many of them claim?

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Of your last three questions, I would say they all apply to various different personality types of customers. With that said, when sex(hot mostly naked girls) is thrown in front of a guy's face, sometimes he has tunnel vision on what he really wants =X With that said, I would obviously never think of disobeying any club rules no matter what because I have a great sense of self control. I think it's pretty wrong and dumb for any guys to deliberately disobey rules though. I can't really relate to it either but I figured I would try to come up with an answer and see it from their point of view but it's pretty difficult to come up with such idiotic rationale, heh.

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    As a customer, I can't fathom it either. The SC is supposed to represent a fun, sexy, fantasy land...so how is that possible if you're trying to get the dancer to do things that she obviously doesn't want to do? Unless you're a sadist & the dancer is a masochist, it won't end well for either party.

    IMHO, the offenders will most likely fall into one of two catagories: the ones who just don't give a shit what the girl wants since it is all about their pleasure (major misogyny here), or they are really clueless enough to believe that "no" means "yes", which is just pitiful.

    And I don't buy any bullshit about someone "not being able to control themselves". Double bullshit. We're all human beings with self-control. Triple bullshit.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear customers

    ^yeah that whole "I just can't control myself" line is a bunch of total bullshit. Just like "but you're just so hot".........oh ok. I guess it's my fault that. I guess I jedi-mind-tricked you into acting like a forceful pervert.

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    I'm going to try to make this as non-ranty as I possibly can, but I really want to know the answer to this question. Why, in a non-grinding club, when the rules have been clearly stated, would a customer CONTINUOUSLY try to direct/push/pull/whatever a dancer towards his dick? Obviously we KNOW where it is and we arent touching it for a reason.
    I personally am glad that they keep directing me there. I, for one, often forget where the male penis is located. Sometimes I forget and think it is on their shoulder, but fortunately these guys are nice enough to remind me that it is between their legs. And when I forget again, they are nice enough to show me again where it is. /sarcasm

    Yea i dont get this either. I dont understand the guys who as soon as you introduce yourself and shake their hand they hold on to it and drag it to their dick. Then you pull it away and they do it again! And again! because maybe the 5th time I will totally be down for massaging their dick? beats me.

    I think one of these days if a guy grabs my hips to try to pull me towards his dick i am going to somehow find away to slam myself down onto his nads. oops silly me, you just made me slip, didnt mean to squish your balls there! The persistent motherfuckers would deserve it. I just need to develop my stripper ninja skills well enough so i can do this effectively....
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Dear customers

    I think some men are just idiots, with no respect fr other people.

    I get this a bit (but I do work in a s&*thole) and whenever they try to pull me around, I pretend to fall over, and then move out of arms reach.
    Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
    you just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    ^speaking of falling over, what sent me over the edge with this crap was that today I had a customer yank me so hard towards his penis (I had my back to him) that I literally had to grab onto the booth and brace myself in order to not fall over.

    the shitty thing is, I TRY to be nice/subtle about it at first. I understand that repeating the rules constantly ruins the mood. So, I make it clear by redirecting their hands, or moving myself out of the way, etc. Half of the time this works, the other half... they try it again. At that point I try to say something (still without sounding mean). Still, some of them will keeeeep trying, at which point I end the dance or whatever and get the "what did I do?????" BS.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Dizzy Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    Yea i dont get this either. I dont understand the guys who as soon as you introduce yourself and shake their hand they hold on to it and drag it to their dick. Then you pull it away and they do it again! And again! because maybe the 5th time I will totally be down for massaging their dick? beats me.

    lol I totally understand.

    One time, after a guy asked me twice if I'd consider blowing him... he came back up to me later, more drunk (and more whiney) and said "just a liitttlleee bittt??"

    So I said (completely sarcastic) "oh, you just want a -little- blow job???? WELL THAT'S DIFFERENT!" and he... to my amazement... said totally seriously "yeah I promise I won't finish"

    ..................

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    lol I totally understand.

    One time, after a guy asked me twice if I'd consider blowing him... he came back up to me later, more drunk (and more whiney) and said "just a liitttlleee bittt??"

    So I said (completely sarcastic) "oh, you just want a -little- blow job???? WELL THAT'S DIFFERENT!" and he... to my amazement... said totally seriously "yeah I promise I won't finish"

    ..................
    LOL. that is.... completely ridiculous . Human intelligence in all of its glory right there.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Dear customers

    You guys are nicer than me.. I warn them the first time, move their hands the next, and if they pull me a third time I do my twist looking like I'm falling move to the cameras and knee the jerk where he wants it. No matter how good my mood i will not break the rules and if that means someone has to get a slap on the wrist i guess thats what going to happen.

    For the question, I have been explained this before. The men and women that do this fit into three sections.

    One - doesn't care cause to them their paying you for time with your body, and so it means they can do what they want with it.

    Two - They think their looks/charm/skills can convince you that its the right thing to do or with more payment.

    Three - Some don't just care, I can go thru the whole history of dance to show you this havn't changed once in years.. The only thing that did change is people actually caring what happens to the girl dancing. They can't come to terms that they are not allowed so they will with much force try til it works.

    Believe me I seen all of these and somehow simple logic questions sometimes solve this.

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    This is when you need to use the line "You are paying me for this dance experience... and it much better if you leave me in control and you just sit back and enjoy".
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Senior Member TeaganDarling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear customers

    I hate to dismiss it as basic male behavior.. so I wont. What a crock of shit.

    Personally I think it is the idea that if they are persistent enough that they will exhaust me into submission. Proof; I have regulars I have had for years who consistently push the envelope despite having never caved. Personally I can think of a bajillion other ways to feel victorious over something.

    Coincidentally, just earlier tonight I was explaining to someone my theory that most, if not all dysfunctions and destructive behaviors eventually trace back to a need for control.

    That's the best I can think of. If you figure it out, let me know

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    They do it for the same reason that some people treat waitresses, doormen, or others in the service industry badly. They're a-holes who think they are better than you and therefore are entitled to do whatever they want. Some people are just bad, and unfortunately, you're in a profession where you come into contact with a greater percentage of them.

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    I understand that repeating the rules constantly ruins the mood.
    I think that is the problem. If you state the rules firmly before he hands over his money you will not get those type of guys buying dances.

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    I think that is the problem. If you state the rules firmly before he hands over his money you will not get those type of guys buying dances.
    thats why we dont state the rules. we want their money. I will sell dances ot these guys and if they are grabby I will just dance further away. Their loss for being disrespectful.... they would get a much hotter and closer dance if they were polite, but if htey try to force me to do stuff physically then i am going to do minimal contact or even an airdance if it is warranted.

    However, I dont generally try to push rooms with these people. If i get the feeling that a room with them is going to be a half hour of them trying to push me on their dick, then tehm getting angry at me when I start to move away then I focus more on trying to quickly sell a single dance, then move onto the next customer.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    I think that is the problem. If you state the rules firmly before he hands over his money you will not get those type of guys buying dances.
    Oh, if that were only true. I was putting whipped cream on my boobs once for a 2 girl bachelor dance, and myself and the bouncer had told the bachelor guy I was dancing for "do not touch the girls". The bachelor grabbed my whipped cream covered boob and was promptly asked to leave the lap dance room by the bouncer.

    Bachelor says right to the bouncer's face, "But I didn't touch her!" While holding up a whipped cream covered hand .


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: Dear customers

    The simple answer to your questions is that they do it because they can.

    Perhaps other dancer put up with their crap.

    Perhaps the bouncers will not regulate.

    Perhaps the club will not kick out a paying customer.

    ... Along the way, they are enabled.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    I think that is the problem. If you state the rules firmly before he hands over his money you will not get those type of guys buying dances.
    90% of the time I tell them the rules before the dance. I try to be brief about it and not sound too serious, but still.

    I'm talking about not wanting to -repeat- them. Which is why I said I first try to be subtle and move their hands (depending on what they're trying to do anyway).

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Plenty of clubs treat the "rules" or even actual laws as mere "suggestions" which are clearly almost never actually enforced, they have just been trained that way and expect to get some contact. Obviously that does not make it right or acceptable and i'm sure it makes your job a lot less pleasant but really the only thing you can do is try to retrain them the right way. Sadly rather than learn how to behave they are more likely to go back to the places were people just ignore the rules.

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    This may sound a slightly bizarre explanation, but the customers referred to by Pretty Penny may be trying to boost their self esteem.

    We all tend to try and rationalize things in our own minds so that our actions (to ourselves at least) appear in the best possible light.

    To a lot of guys who go into SC's, the thought that the main reason you are paying attention to them is a financial one is a blow to their ego. Most guys will rationalize that away by finding something in your behavior that lets them internally think "she only dances for the other guys because she wants their money, but one of the reasons she dances for me is that she likes me".

    A harmless conceit, and one that lets a lot of guys walk away from SC's with the thought that the dancer has liked their company as well as their money.

    However, a small minority of guys take an alternative way of boosting their self esteem. They get into the mindset that the dancers are sufficiently attracted to them (or sufficiently turned on by dancing) that they are willing to break the rules of the establishment.

    In these guy's minds, you are very close to grabbing their d*cks, and it will only take one last little 'nudge' before you do. The way these guys are rationalizing things is that they are spending money on girls who want to do them sexual favors - and are willing to break the rules to do so.

    They can't understand the fact that you don't want to in a million years and hence think every time you push them away, it's just a misunderstanding or momentary hesitation and the next time they try, you'll be happy to fulfill their fantasies.

    To not keep trying means they will have to confront the realization that it is all about the money, and the only reason you are spending time with them is because you are paying them to. And to a certain male mentality, that's a thought too horrible to contemplate.

    Phil.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I've totally stared at guys' wallets with lust in my heart
    J.D. explaining how she reacts to guys staring at her body with lust in their hearts....

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    Oh, if that were only true. I was putting whipped cream on my boobs once for a 2 girl bachelor dance, and myself and the bouncer had told the bachelor guy I was dancing for "do not touch the girls". The bachelor grabbed my whipped cream covered boob and was promptly asked to leave the lap dance room by the bouncer.
    Again did you tell him before you had his money and were in the room; also was he over the legal limit to be considered intoxicated? Not taking his side just offering mitigating conditions.

    I don't do private dances because no means no but no only comes after I hand over my money.

    I understand the game just understand when I decline a private dance; that only applies when I club outside of Newark. Private dances are not an issue in Newark.

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post

    To not keep trying means they will have to confront the realization that it is all about the money, and the only reason you are spending time with them is because you are paying them to. And to a certain male mentality, that's a thought too horrible to contemplate.
    Many of us know it is about the money and gladly will pay for play. It is when they pay and can't pay. Now if a PL wants to pay $500 an hour for 10 minutes of air dance and 50 minutes of small talk while watching her drink $300 of champagne that he paid for so be it.

    I doubt many would do that if they had a clear definition of the situation; I do so I don't.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    Again did you tell him before you had his money and were in the room; also was he over the legal limit to be considered intoxicated? Not taking his side just offering mitigating conditions.

    I don't do private dances because no means no but no only comes after I hand over my money.

    I understand the game just understand when I decline a private dance; that only applies when I club outside of Newark. Private dances are not an issue in Newark.
    Since you've never met me, I'll let it slide. But I am always extremely clear on everything, prices, rules of conduct, and what exactly is being purchased. There's no gray area.

    Anyone who thinks there may be (some gray area) is simply deluding themselves. I think a large part of the problem is delusions of sexual prowess on the part of the customer.

    Yeah, sure Buddy. She just couldn't control herself in the VIP, right?


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: Dear customers

    i'm pretty sure some of these guys actually like hearing "no", whether they want to admit it or not.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: Dear customers

    I dunno... I have a really hard time believing that these guys have so little self control within a strip club. Throughout the course of a year, they probably spend about 1% of their time in the club yet these same guys are able to refrain from this behavior the other 99% of the year.

    They may be able to fool their families, friends and peers for most of the year but within the club, their true colors show revealing the assholes they really are.

    Unfortunately, there is little to no accountability when it comes to customers breaking rules. Club staff/management are inconsistent when it comes to enforcing the rules and so problem customers continue the bad behaviors.

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