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Thread: The female double standard: heightism...

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    God/dess Will's Avatar
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    Default The female double standard: heightism...

    I major complaint of women - and rightly so - are men who are shallow and will only date blonds, or asians, or what ever narrow superficial thing they prefer. I get that complaint, but I see a major double standard in women.

    Women who will only date a man who is X tall are shallow, no less so then the guy that will only date skinny blonds... The women who will not date a guy if he's shorter then she is, no matter how great a guy he is, are equally shallow to men no?

    The ones that rally blow me away, the girls who are 5' but will only date guys 6'2" or over (yes, I have met such gals...) and such.

    My GF in college back in the day was 5'11". I'm 5'7". In heals, she was 6'3". When we first started dating, she admitted she never thought she would date a guy shorter then her, and she wore flats for me. I told her to wear heals where ever and when ever she wanted because only a weak man lacks the character to deal with such minor a minor issue (yes, many men will not date a women taller then he is due to some threat to his masculinity or what have you so that can work both way....) as her being taller.

    So what say you ladies to that? Where do you fall in the above? Don't flame me, nothing above is intended to insult anyone, it's just an observation I have noted.
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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    I'm tall ( 5'8'' ) and I prefer to date men my height or above, but I'd go a couple inches shorter too! My ex-bf didn't have good posture and I do ( plus I wear small heels sometimes ) , so people always thought I was much taller even though bare-foot and standing straight up , we were both the same size.

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    It's not shallow - it's nature. Women want to feel protected - tall, strong, and muscular men fit that bill. It's what were wired to find sexually attractive.

    I'm 5'7". I've tried dating men who were shorter than myself, but it just wasn't happening in bed. I like sex, and it's a crucial part in my relationships. If a man can't turn me on, he's out. Just the way it is. Height is a requirement for me, personally.

    Also, 5'7" isn't that short for a guy, at all. Most women are what? 5'4", maybe 5'5" - so 5'7" is still taller than that.



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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    It's not shallow - it's nature. Women want to feel protected - tall, strong, and muscular men fit that bill. It's what were wired to find sexually attractive..
    I don't think what you are saying is wrong, but it's also the same line used by why men prefer X type of women. That is, the socio-biological theory of behavior, which states men prefer women with a specific shape as it confers benefits to having babies, etc. That's all good with me, just making the observation and getting the feedback on how it works for you on that. We don't really control what we are attracted to, so it's all good.
    A cunning linguist...

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    What? Are the men of Stripperweb synced up or something? Must be the time of the month for male sexual insecurities to arise.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    What? Are the men of Stripperweb synced up or something? Must be the time of the month for male sexual insecurities to arise.
    Well that was just mean!
    A cunning linguist...

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    I'm 5'4, and I've never dated a man shorter than myself. Then again, I can't really recall being hit on by a man that short. My long term relationships heights of men have been: 5'10", 6'5", 6'2", and currently 6'1".

    But I'm open to dating a shorter man, if he is awesome in other ways. I dated a guy who was 5'7, last year, briefly, and he was great. He would have made a wonderful long term mate, but my heart wasn't in it, for other reasons.

    How is this a double standard though? Just as many men discriminate their women based on height? Some men will only date women built like models, whereas other men wouldn't even consider a tall woman because they want to feel dominant.

    Will, just because you and I are cool with height, doesn't mean that its equally discriminated against by men and women equally. Hardly a "double-standard."

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    I'm 5'4, and I've never dated a man shorter than myself. Then again, I can't really recall being hit on by a man that short. My long term relationships heights of men have been: 5'10", 6'5", 6'2", and currently 6'1".

    But I'm open to dating a shorter man, if he is awesome in other ways. I dated a guy who was 5'7, last year, briefly, and he was great. He would have made a wonderful long term mate, but my heart wasn't in it, for other reasons.

    How is this a double standard though? Just as many men discriminate their women based on height? Some men will only date women built like models, whereas other men wouldn't even consider a tall woman because they want to feel dominant.

    Will, just because you and I are cool with height, doesn't mean that its equally discriminated against by men and women equally. Hardly a "double-standard."
    I don't know if it's discriminated against by men and women equally, but it's my impression at least there are far more short men willing to date taller women, then the reverse. But I totally agree, plenty of men are intimidated by dating a women taller then he is no doubt.
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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    One hugs all the right places when hugging a taller woman. heh heh heh

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    What? Are the men of Stripperweb synced up or something? Must be the time of the month for male sexual insecurities to arise.
    Ya gotta have some thick skin and strong bones to be a guy on stripper web LOL

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by Will View Post
    I don't know if it's discriminated against by men and women equally, but it's my impression at least there are far more short men willing to date taller women, then the reverse. But I totally agree, plenty of men are intimidated by dating a women taller then he is no doubt.

    No kidding. There are plenty of men willing to date just about anything that let's him poke her vagina. This double standard is meaningless given the predominant values of male and female roles in this culture and society. Plus, as humans, we are naturally sexually dimorphic. Even before we had today's social norms, it has been plainly obvious that most men are larger than most women, and that is generally typical and standard.

    Are people really still trying to rationalize that men and women should think exactly the same, given their stakes in life are quite different?

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    No kidding. There are plenty of men willing to date just about anything that let's him poke her vagina.
    Most men will bang a snake if someone will hold it still for them.

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    This double standard is meaningless given the predominant values of male and female roles in this culture and society.
    Does that make them meaningless or just something that is explained via the predominant values of male and female roles in this culture and society? I'm not sure it's meaningless personally. You're not buying the socio-biological model to explain the behavior?

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    Plus, as humans, we are naturally sexually dimorphic. Even before we had today's social norms, it has been plainly obvious that most men are larger than most women, and that is generally typical and standard.
    Me Tarzan, you Jane. Like dat?

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiStrawberry Splenda View Post
    Are people really still trying to rationalize that men and women should think exactly the same, given their stakes in life are quite different?
    I do not know the answer to that deep mojo question, but as you know, opinions vary depending on current social norms and or the state of the research.

    For a long time, it was said men and women are different. Then, there was a movement that said they are only different due to cultural social norms, and finally, with the current science, we now know men and women are different, and those differences in behavior are both due to physical differences and the way the two sexes are socialized.

    So, it's not nature vs nurture, it's both! I'll be interested to hear your thoughts on that as it seems an area of focus for you.
    A cunning linguist...

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    I tend to assume shorter men won't like me, so I guess they would have to make it really clear that they find my height appealing. Actually .... it's a boost to me period if I guy compliment my height. I was thrilled when my most recent crush said " I like tall girls " .

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    I tend to assume shorter men won't like me, so I guess they would have to make it really clear that they find my height appealing. Actually .... it's a boost to me period if I guy compliment my height. I was thrilled when my most recent crush said " I like tall girls " .
    5'8" is not exactly towering, but in heals, I'm sure you are a "tall drink O water" as they say.
    A cunning linguist...

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    I'm also 5'8" and my ex husband is 5'4".

    He used to love it when I'd go to his office to bring him lunch. I'd dress up, heels the whole bit and was in my blonde phase. He loved having people say "Dude.. THAT'S your wife?!"

    It didn't bother me because I loved him. I prefer someone my height or taller, but it's not an absolute.

    But why why why WHY do so many guys tell me they only like "tiny" girls? Bums me out.

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    But why why why WHY do so many guys tell me they only like "tiny" girls? Bums me out.
    It's their loss. Fu&% em.
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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    It goes both ways in the height issue. I've never understand why these tiny girls want to date tall guys, but it was explained to me for protection. On the other hand I was once set up on a blind date with this 5'8 guy. He rejected me because he only dated women 5'4 and under, which I am not. Most of my boyfriends have been 5'8 and shorter for some reason and I once had a crush on a guy who was 5'1 (and barely reached my chest if that). Height is less of an issue for me than weight (I'll date a short guy, but will not date an obese guy).

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    People don't choose what they are attracted you, calling it a double standard or whatever you want isn't going to change anything because nobody can change the kind of man or woman they want.

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Well, I'm the exact opposite. I'll quickly reject a guy for being too tall. I'm 5'3." I like a man who's around 5'6", and 5'9" is about my limit. It just feels uncomfortable being with someone when there's such a huge height difference. I don't like having to crane my neck back to look him in the eyes, to stretch till my calves ached just to give a quick kiss, Or to feel like I'd have to climb a telephone pole before I could hug him around the shoulders.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    People don't choose what they are attracted you,
    You will note I said exactly that above.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    calling it a double standard or whatever you want isn't going to change anything because nobody can change the kind of man or woman they want.
    That however does not preclude it being a double standard. So far, my double standard theory/comments are being destroyed anyway as (so far) few seem to care about height anyway!
    A cunning linguist...

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    I loved this guy dearly, with all my heart. And he said he could never truly love a girl who wasn't tall, with long model-like legs. It crushed me. He was about 6'. He had no problems fucking me for two years though.

    A lot of people bitched about me being with my boyfriend who was just a hair under 6'6, saying I was taking away the opportunity for taller girls. But we fell in love despite our height differences, and he has always been open to dating women of all heights.

    I used to be really sensitive about the height thing. Now I don't care. I don't ever want to date anyone that superficial about looks again. My current SO doesn't care about these things.

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol View Post
    Ya gotta have some thick skin and strong bones to be a guy on stripper web LOL
    Wear a pair of nomex undies too!

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    In my own experience I find way more guys who say they don't like "big" girls (meaning tall) than I've met girls shorter than 5'7" who want super tall guys.

    Not saying it's fact, just my experience.

    Big girls intimidate almost all guys whereas they all seem to love the little ones.

    Thanks for saying you don't mind though

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    Quote Originally Posted by kittygirl View Post
    In my own experience I find way more guys who say they don't like "big" girls (meaning tall) than I've met girls shorter than 5'7" who want super tall guys.

    Not saying it's fact, just my experience.

    Big girls intimidate almost all guys whereas they all seem to love the little ones.

    Thanks for saying you don't mind though
    I may be wrong, but I get the impression the population who posts here might be a bit more open minded on the issue of height compared to the general population. I think that's a good thing. This is from the NY Times, and. On women dating:

    "They prefer taller men, but they’re willing to relax their standards for the Ron Perelmans of the world, as revealed in a study of more than 20,000 online daters by Gunter Hitsch and Ali Hortacsu of the University of Chicago and Dan Ariely of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. They found that a 5-foot-8 man was just as successful in getting dates as a 6-footer if he made more money — precisely $146,000 a year more. For a 5-foot-2 man, the number was $277,000."


    Cont:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/10/sc...yt&emc=rss
    A cunning linguist...

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    Default Re: The female double standard: heightism...

    I hope they didn't mean Ron Perlman cause that guy is butt ugly.

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