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Thread: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

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    Default Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    Hey all -

    This past year I've really been struggling emotionally. All the stress with my personal life and already cliched world events have taken a heavy toll on my skin. I have always been acne prone but it is now at the point where I am covered in acne. The upside is I've done a lot of soul searching and definitely like who I am as a person much more deeply. and I've had to learn to push through with confidence even when my external appearance is, well, covered in blood. I'm now looking for sugar daddies and have a couple profiles up on various sites. In the pictures I am wearing foundation and blemishes are airbrushed. I look fine with make-up on, the complexion is smooth but the texture of my skin still is not. However, a lot of guys really appreciate women to look a certain way without make-up, so I don't know if I would be poorly received in person if I don't mention anything about having bad skin before hand and it comes as a big surprise. I am not trying to sound stuck up but I am a really beautiful girl, I just have acne I have not been able to control. The treatment is highly expensive and I'm still seeking a doctor who will prescribe Accutane (the end all be all of acne treatment). Once I am on the medication, I will look worse before I look better.

    Also, about a year ago I did attempt to take my own life. I now have permanent scars on my wrists. I often keep them covered with bandanas, and while it doesn't look fishy, at some point I do at least prefer to take them off at night, although I guess I could just say it helps me keep my face clean, which would fly too.

    Should I mention these two imperfections? I'm a really pretty girl, and I don't know if I've just personally had a rough experience with a lot of men overly preferring naturally beautiful women (who refuse to wear make-up, straighten hair, etc.) and those who do need a little extra concealment.

    I can't imagine someone telling me, "wow, you're really ugly" as soon as I wash all the make-up off but I mean, if someone wants to pay big bucks for a beautiful woman, I guess I should keep those standards in mind...I do have some great poetry I wrote about my struggles with my appearance, maybe that would be a good way to break the ice.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    I would DEFINITELY disclose that information. Granted, it will set you up for a situation where your SD's will be more likely to notice your bad skin. However, the increase in confidence you'll experience as a result of knowing that the SD's expect you to have acne (and still want to meet you) will be worth it.

    Just my opinion.

    If you had a minor case, I'd advise that you just claim you have really sensitive skin, and X broke you out. But I'd be upfront about your case (since by the way you're talking, it's a chronic problem).

    I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, OP, but good for you for being able to get past it to some degree. It's incredible how damaging acne can be for one's ego. It isn't even a vanity issue. Much deeper than that. Stay strong.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    uh, no, i wouldn't. "by the way, i have bad skin even though you can't tell in my photos" is not necessary. if they're interested in you, and you talk off the website, you can send them some candid photos that aren't retouched and leave it at that.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    ^ That's also a good idea.

    Don't get me wrong, I wasn't suggesting you post a disclaimer on the website. But if you start an e-mail/phone exchange, I would mention it at least.

    Then again, I don't know how bad your case is. If you think they won't notice, don't bring it up. But if it's really obvious, then I'd bring it up. I'm sorry, but SD's want serious arm candy. They want you to look pristine. I've been there.

    Hell, my SD even noticed a slight (very slight) spot of acne back when I used to do the whole SD thing. I was having a fucking incredible skin week, and he actually asked me about this tiny patch of irritated skin. A lot of SD's don't have social skills. They want you to be hot shit and ALSO put up with their shit. Harsh, but it's true. (Although there are diamonds in the rough, etc, who are looking for more than this...and I'm sure there are guys who are understanding about acne and wouldn't notice. But I'm obviously speaking generally.)

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    As a side note, a lot of SD's have had bad experiences with women on those sites who claim to be hot shit, and then they show up and aren't. I think the vast majority will appreciate a bit of honesty beforehand.

    Just mention it casually if you think you're going to meet him and think it might be a problem. Odds are he'll understand. As long as you're still sexy, he'll probably be fine with it. But if you try to spring it on him, that's risky.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    I'm really sorry you had to go through that.

    I want to share this with you... because I want you to know that you CAN successfully cover your wrist scars - the ones that have to potential to be a worse turn off than your troubled skin on your face.

    I am a self mutilator. I have only done it twice in my life (once when I was like 11 and another time when I was 25) but I have some forever scars from it. And it's a concern for me. The older ones are deep but they're white and I hide those with collagen lotion and then add body lotion that has shimmer in it (kinda like the way you can hide stretch marks). The other ones on my arm are from me actually burning myself with matches and I have to use makeup from the funeral home (a family friend is a mortician) and on top of that Dermablend and on top of that a couple light mists of spray adhesive with a light layer of hair spray on top of that.

    I DO NOT DISCLOSE this to any of my guys any of my sugar daddies or anyone. And no one has ever noticed. My makeup application lasts through sleeping, water, and usually lasts through 3 showers (obviously I'm not soaping up on my forearms). Really more like 5 showers but I have to reapply a little and spray again. The only thing I have to absolutely stay away from is mineral oil and eye makeup removers. Cuz with that it will come off or at least turn a weird consistency.

    The issues that caused you to go there are your personal business and a sugar daddy does not have your soul - he has your companionship. So don't share that honey.

    You've been through so much and I wouldn't want you to ever expose that to a guy who really doesn't care about you beyond your appearance.

    That's something that should be sacred - only for you and those who truly love you and care about you and also your professional care givers (doctor, therapist, etc).

    As for your facial skin. Honey a lot of people have bad skin. You'd be surprised. I'd say save up a few hundred bucks and go to a plastic surgeon who also has a skin spa. Or if you can find a FACS certified dermatologist who specializes in retexturizing the skin, etc. Also call your local hospital and find out who does the reconstructions for people who have had burns or keyloid scarring. Those types of doctors can help you out A LOT and you might only need one or two visits to smooth your texture out. Then you can get a sugar daddy and then get the income to do the long term stuff like TCA peels and Obagi and GlyDerm. Obagi helped me in ways that changed my life.

    I advise you to get a good twice daily facial regimen and stick to it as if your life depended on it. Wash your face, use peroxide, exfoliate, then hydrate/moisturize. Slather yourself in cream. Even if you get a few pimples, plump your skin up because it will help you look smoother and then in a month the pimples should go away. Don't pick them. You already know that though.

    Find a good cream to matte or cream to powder foundation and put it on as light as possible for a close to flawless look. Then add concealer and set it with powder. I'd say stay away from blush but use bronzer instead. Don't wanna put a rosy color over your imperfections. Instead just give yourself a general glow with the bronzer. Also, play up your eyes! Only play up your lips if you don't have any pimples in the mouth/chin area. Also use lipstick. Lipgloss sometimes actually calls attention to imperfections on/around your mouth. Use a nice cream lipstick instead.

    I really hope everything works out for you, sweetie!

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    ^ My advise was for the acne, not the self-mutilation scars. (just to clarify)

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    ^ That's also a good idea.

    Don't get me wrong, I wasn't suggesting you post a disclaimer on the website. But if you start an e-mail/phone exchange, I would mention it at least.

    Then again, I don't know how bad your case is. If you think they won't notice, don't bring it up. But if it's really obvious, then I'd bring it up. I'm sorry, but SD's want serious arm candy. They want you to look pristine. I've been there.

    Hell, my SD even noticed a slight (very slight) spot of acne back when I used to do the whole SD thing. I was having a fucking incredible skin week, and he actually asked me about this tiny patch of irritated skin. A lot of SD's don't have social skills. They want you to be hot shit and ALSO put up with their shit. Harsh, but it's true. (Although there are diamonds in the rough, etc, who are looking for more than this...and I'm sure there are guys who are understanding about acne and wouldn't notice. But I'm obviously speaking generally.)

    Yes I agree with you - they can be the most nitpicky crazy people.

    I had one who wanted to actually examine me fresh out of the shower and while I was wet still.

    Never thought I would have a conversation while a guy had a flashlight pointed at my anus and the inside of my thighs to check for (very very very slight) discoloration.

    The guy was a billionaire though so I sucked it up and got the anal bleaching and microdermabrasion on my inner thighs.

    Facial skin is imporant so I'd suggest you spend some time and money on that BEFORE hand but also you don't have to let him know right there on the profile. Maybe tell him once you guys speak on the phone a little bit.

    But the suicide attempt, I still think that is extremely personal and it can be hidden.

    Bandanas...seem kinda excessive. What about a nice watch and some bangles in addition to well...special effects makeup, essentially.

    You'd be surprised at what a lilttle liquid latex with makeup over it can hide.

    Make sure you get the real stuff though - not the cheap stuff you cover your nipples with at the non-topless places. That latex is so thin because it's SUPPOSED to show detail and get around those deceny laws.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    ^ My advise was for the acne, not the self-mutilation scars. (just to clarify)
    Thank you for clarifying. I had kinda figured that's what you meant but I wasn't sure.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    ^ Damn girl!

    I hate to give a harsh response to the OP (like I did in this thread), but I'm glad I wasn't the only one with picky SD's! Also glad I was a no-sex SB so I didn't have to deal with the kind of stuff you went through.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    Literally, the first thing my richest SD said while picking me up at the airport in Vegas was, "OH thank GOD you actually look like your picture. I've had SO MANY bad experiences with that."

    It's easy to understand why a lot of SD's get 'screwed' in that way. How easy would it be to post a hot pic (whether of someone else or of yourself severely airbrushed) on an SD website, get tons of guys to fly you places, and they aren't even aware of your lie until you show up (on their bill). It's wrong, but it made me realize why some of them are so jaded. It's a business of appearances; can't fault them for being picky.

    I was never worried because I just posted a very realistic snapshot of my face on my site. No airbrushing, no special makeup. I wanted any SD's to know EXACTLY who would show up if they wanted to hang out with me. It made me so much more confident.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Literally, the first thing my richest SD said while picking me up at the airport in Vegas was, "OH thank GOD you actually look like your picture. I've had SO MANY bad experiences with that."

    It's easy to understand why a lot of SD's get 'screwed' in that way. How easy would it be to post a hot pic (whether of someone else or of yourself severely airbrushed) on an SD website, get tons of guys to fly you places, and they aren't even aware of your lie until you show up (on their bill). It's wrong, but it made me realize why some of them are so jaded. It's a business of appearances; can't fault them for being picky.

    I was never worried because I just posted a very realistic snapshot of my face on my site. No airbrushing, no special makeup. I wanted any SD's to know EXACTLY who would show up if they wanted to hang out with me. It made me so much more confident.
    Some of them are the worst. But the ones who are new to the game don't really care as much. The long time guys who are either socially awkward or unattractive to the point of not being able to get a woman under the age of 75 and under 500lbs - they know the game and know what's up.

    A banging ass picture for a profile pic and then maybe some dressed down pictures with that made up to look like there's no makeup look kinda gives them a good balance. To see what the best is - and also see what the average will be. Cuz we all have our bad days.

    Gotta show them the club wear but also the boyshorts/tanktop fresh face and a poytail thing.

    That way when they see you for the first time...they're pleasantly surprised.

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    Default Re: Disclose bad skin to potential SDs?

    ^ Exactly!

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