Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: How do you retire?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    275
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default How do you retire?

    I've been dancing for three years (I know that may not seem like alot to some) and I've had enough...the way customers treat me, the biased management, and the ill effects its had on my relationship...I walked out of my club last night yet I don't really know how to fully quit.

    Stripping has really affected my mentality, whether it be my view on men, how I made money so easily, or the traumatic flashbacks that's happened over the years...

    How does one stop, accept and move on?
    "I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privledged
    to live their lives with an actual demon, so as long it was a beautiful demon."
    -Memoirs Of A Geisha


    "Stripping is like a bad boyfriend, you know you should walk away, but always go back for more."

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Delilah27 For This Useful Post:


  3. #2
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    I had a strange retirement because I never completely retired from bachelor parties. However I have been retired many years from clubs. One day I had enough and decided never to dance at clubs again. In particular I had been working at a club for months and felt degraded. The club was attracting low lifes and none would tip. So we'd go on stage, and be lucky if one of the guys gave a dollar, but most never did. So I would refuse to take off my top and the manager would constantly yell at me. Not just that, but there were a few there who were picking up guys, and would give the guys dances that were far worse than they were supposed to be (this was a topless air dance and some girls would let guys suck nipples, finger them or worse. Several of us would complain and the manager would say they were dealing with it. The breaking point was one night they decided to raffle off a bachelor party dance. All of us were required to dance for the winner topless, though we received none of the money. I refused to take off my top and so did other dancers, but we still went on stage. While onstage the winner was making crude comments to several of us because we refused to take our tops off. Afterwards the manager called those of us into his office who refused to take off our tops and proceeded to call us bitches, sluts, and every other name. Saying we were interferring with the guy's enjoyment. When one dancer said we didn't get money from it, he claimed it helped business, which helped us. Nope, all it helped was getting more cheap guys. Several walked out then but I stayed the night. Then later on, an employee stole a CD. I reported this person, and the other manager started saying how dare I accuse, etc.

    Right then and there I vowed to never come back. I packed right then (I never left anything there overnight anyways). and left. I learned that clubs think all dancers are scum. I never was, but many of my male coworkers were. I'm sure I knew clubs don't respect dancers, but seems more acceptable when one is making hundreds or thousands of dollars.

    When I finally quit club dancing I felt happy again, and whole. I had been disgusted with the industry the last few months. I used to put up because of the money, but when the money dwindled (through no fault of mine) I knew I didn't want to put up with it again. Sometimes I miss it, but don't miss the chauvinist managers, or the cheap guys. I won't lie, it was hard for a few months, but I was starting to see more than I wanted to.

  4. #3
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,066
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked 1,844 Times in 779 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    i like the idea of retiring from working in clubs but still doing private parties. maybe i'll try that. i haven't worked in a club in quite some time and i'm not sure if i'm going back.

  5. #4
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    I slowly transitioned from dancing to a day job. The club atmosphere was slowly getting more brutal, but I kept traveling to areas where dancers could still make money with out having to allow customers to touch or provide heavy grinding.

    Then the clubs started taking so much of my income, I decided that it was time to call it quits.

    I know it is hard to find a job these days. If you have any marketable skills you could try freelancing. There are a lot of sites out there that allow people to place a kind of online resume, but each person is an independent contractor. A friend is doing insurance transcribing from home, and I know others that are doing things like ad copy writing, social network marketing, and customer service support on the phone.

    Since you'll be an IC, there is no need to submit a resume with your full work history, just present your experience and maybe some samples of your work in the case of design or coding.

    This may help bridge the gap until the economy gets better, and dancers can once again make decent money without the clubs being so greedy.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Paris For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Your imagination
    Posts
    2,875
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 174 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    the biggest thing was just moving to a locale where stripping is pitiful money compared to even entry-level jobs (at the time, this has changed a bit with the recession, although it hasn't improved the crap stripper-money either).

    the next biggest thing was getting a job that had the pros of stripping (high hourly, flexible hours, casual environment) without the cons (rude customers, rude dancers, rude managers, bad money nights, etc.) that helped me transition mentally away from the idea that stripping is the only way to get a fat stack of benjamins quickly and legally.

    the third biggest thing was having at least six months of living expenses (so i was not under a lot of pressure to bring in money right away).

    those were the three things that really allowed me to conclusively retire from dancing for money.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to miabella For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    Veteran Member Lola_sinn's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Philly
    Posts
    467
    Thanks
    152
    Thanked 176 Times in 73 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    Miabella, what field did you transition to?

  10. #7
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    In my own case, I gradually transitioned from club dancing to feature dancing / magazines / videos and webmastering a pay website. I also made it a point to live very frugally, to save as much money as possible, and to learn how to manage that saved / invested money smartly. As a result, after ~15 years of busting my ass, I managed to transition into a TRUE retirement scenario i.e. earning enough income from my investments that all I now have to do is sit on the beach and collect interest / dividend checks !

    Unfortunately, another part of making this economic formula work was to move myself ( and my investments ) to a FOREIGN beach in order to minimize my US tax liabilities !

  11. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Your imagination
    Posts
    2,875
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 174 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola_sinn View Post
    Miabella, what field did you transition to?
    IT then, but now i farm.

  12. #9
    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    275
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    I admit money is a big reason why I put up with all the BS of te club (i.e. behavior of customers, management greed etc.) but like everyone said now that the economy is so bad it's not worth putting myself through all this for the little we make now a days...

    I'm attempting baby steps like looking into go go dancing which is the fun part of being a stripper the costumes,dance, attention, without the constant fighting off guys and competition...and maybe waitressing...

    But seriously I feel like I've been traumatized from the industry I know quitting cold turkey isnt possible...
    "I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privledged
    to live their lives with an actual demon, so as long it was a beautiful demon."
    -Memoirs Of A Geisha


    "Stripping is like a bad boyfriend, you know you should walk away, but always go back for more."

  13. #10
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    58
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    Gogo dancing is great! You should go for it. I used to gogo dance for a year and a half before I started stripping. I miss those times greatly! If it wasn't for my money situation right now, i would be gogo dancing every weekends. i still do it once in a while just for the heck of it. hahha.

    (btw, the way you feel, is exactly how I felt too!... my mentality...relationship.. and i have been dancing for 3 years too.

    but sadly, i cant quit right now. i have to drag myself every night to work.)

  14. #11
    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Richmond, Virginia
    Posts
    3,019
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked 193 Times in 107 Posts

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    I stopped dancing for many reasons, money was going down, guys were expecting much more and with girls giving it, physically, I have arthritis in my knees and it was getting to be painful and for some reason I didn't want to be 40 and still dancing. (I know plenty of women in their 40's that still dance and do great but I just didn't want to)
    I decided six months before I actually stopped, set a date and that was that. I started waitressing and working the LD room at the club. I ended up getting an admin job but when my husband had a motorcycle wreck and was out of work for about 5 months I had to go back part time. Because I had to go back and I didn't want to I hated it. So walking away when he went back to work was really easy.

    There is part of me that still misses it, but having to deal with club management (which is different from when I started) and cheap customers. I would set a quit date and stick to. Personelly I'm much happier now, dancing had started to take a tool on my relationship with my husband (my jaded view of msot men) and now we are much better.

  15. #12
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: How do you retire?

    I stopped dancing for many reasons, money was going down, guys were expecting much more and with girls giving it
    money is a big reason why I put up with all the BS of te club (i.e. behavior of customers, management greed etc.) but like everyone said now that the economy is so bad it's not worth putting myself through all this for the little we make now a days.

    Well, this raises an important question where potential retirement from dancing is concerned. Just like the rest of the economy, dancing has also become subject to competition from 'foreign' labor ( in the case of dancing = 'foreign' or desparate 'domestic' girls willing to offer major mileage for minor dollars ), to management pursuing maximum profit enhancement at the expense of workers ( in this case increasing stage / house fees, increasing club 'cut' of VIP and/or private dance sales ), to management minimizing capital expenditures at the expense of working conditions ( in this case decreased club upkeep / decreased advertising / decreased feature bookings) etc., as well as management taking every advantage of the huge number of potential new workers ( in this case newbie dancers ) who are ready and willing to replace any existing workers that are 'unhappy' with working conditions. And just like other industries, these factors raise a real and serious question as to whether working conditions and earnings potential for dancers will EVER return to pre-recession levels. My conclusion was that the answer was NO ... because the basic nature of the industry was irreversably changing for the worse.

    Even though I made my decision to retire about a year before the current recession got under way, my decision was based on the fact that fundamental changes in the industry were already underway ... i.e. increasing competition from 'foreign' dancers, higher mileage expectations by customers, less 'respect' from customers, less 'respect' and increased financial 'exploitation' on the part of club management, increased bust risk with increased potential for post-dancing 'straight' life negative fallout, increased audit risk with potential negative economic consequences that could potentially mean having to 'give back' a portion of previous years' income, etc. In short, I came to the conclusion that the original business model of exotic dancing as high earnings potential 'show business' which existed when I first started dancing in the '90's was permanently mutating into ever lower earnings potential 'sex business' ... or at least such would be the case for the majority of dancers who weren't physically 'qualified' to get hired at the very best upscale clubs and who were also unwilling to provide the HJ's, BJ's, FS etc. that customers in 'lesser' clubs were increasingly expecting to receive.

    I simply decided that my age now 'disqualified' me from the very best upscale clubs option, and that my personal values 'disqualified' me from the super high mileage option, such that continuation of live dancing without either of these options would only wind up being a frustrating, self degrading downward spiral in both financial and personal terms. And fortunately, thanks to the money that I was able to earn and save during the 'boom times' of the 90's and early 00's, my personal financial situation was such that I really didn't NEED to continue subjecting myself to the ongoing and increasing frustration.

    Unfortunately for younger dancers, it is doubtful that many will be able to avail themselves of a similar financial opportunity, unless of course they are physically 'qualified' to work in the very best upscale strip clubs or they are personally comfortable providing the super high mileage that customers with money to spend are increasingly expecting to receive. And more unfortunately, dancers that attempt to continue in the exotic dancing business without either of these options are going to find increasing financial disappointment and personal frustration as the business model continues its irreversible turn for the worse. At some point, the earnings differential and personal frustration factor difference between exotic dancing without being able to take advantage of those two options, versus a 'straight' job, will 'force' a significant number of dancers to 'retire' ... whether they had previously financially prepared themselves to do so or not.

    ~
    Last edited by Melonie; 12-13-2009 at 10:03 AM.

Similar Threads

  1. About to retire
    By TinaLayne in forum Other Work
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 05-14-2011, 12:00 PM
  2. When to retire?
    By Clara_M in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-03-2011, 09:09 PM
  3. Should I retire ?
    By Britney_B in forum Dancer's Discussion
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 06-17-2009, 08:37 AM
  4. Where Do You Want to Retire?
    By Mily in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 06-08-2007, 03:28 PM
  5. What's Enough To Retire With
    By Ariel Alaska in forum Dollar Den
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-06-2007, 11:10 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •