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Thread: Post Abortion Support

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Post Abortion Support

    Firstly, please, no haters, I know this can be a sensitive topic for some ...

    Hey ladies, I know its been awhile since my last few posts but I really needed some support here and hoping some of you may be able to shed some light on what currently feels like a really dark situation.

    I had an abortion a week ago (8.2 weeks along). I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant 6 weeks in and didn't have much hesitation about my decision as my boyfriend and I had talked about 'what ifs' in conversations before. Still wasn't easy but after going through all my options I know it was the right thing for us to do and I'm at peace with that.

    I've been so emotional though, can't stop crying and I'm feeling like a real mess. Just not able to cope. I recently changed jobs/stopped danacing and am working twice as much and getting paid half as much which I know is putting a real mental and physical strain on me. I'm still waking up with the shakes (something I had prior to the abortion) ...

    I guess I'm wondering how much of the emotional/physical stress is from the hormones alone and how much work is contributing. I was only able to have 2 days off around the procedure and then it was back into my 10-14 hour days working at the gym as an instructor/trainer. I guess I thought I'd be a bit more stable after a week but I feel like I'm just going down hill!

    Physically I'm just really tired, a little bit of back pain and stomach cramps and only light spotting with no post op bleed (should I be worried about that !?) Just really confused as to what is 'normal' here and what feelings are being brought about by the hormones and when it will settle down ... I'm hoping in another week I'll feel a bit more settled? I just can't go on feeling like I'm going to break down at every little thing :-( xxx

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    Featured Member MsClaireVoyant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Oh hun *hugs* I've BEEN THERE trust me I understand. You are gonna have a rough time for a little while, for me it took about 6 months for the hormones to balance again. It might take less for you. I had complications after mine, bled heavily for about two months. It was so beyond terrifying. I remember sitting in the bathroom at the restaurant I worked at like a week later on the toilet with blood just pouring out of me...(sorry, graphic) and calling my mom sobbing on the phone and having to go back to the Dr over and over to try and figure out what was wrong. It was such a nightmare. Since you aren't having much bleeding I imagine you will get better faster than I did. It was really brutal on me. I'm not trying to scare you, just showing that it could have been worse.

    Like I said, the hormones will make you feel screwy for awhile. I recommend crying it out whenever you are able. I would go through weird times where Id feel like Id want to cry for my baby and other times where I felt so numb and even though I really wanted to cry I wouldn't. It was weird but SO much of it is chemical because of the hormone shift, so just let it out.

    I don't know if this helps but it's been almost 4 years since my abortion and I absolutely, 100% KNOW (not think, KNOW) that I made the right decision. I moved on from that dark place and ended up quitting alcohol (a drunken one night stand with someone I didn't even know led to my pregnancy), traveling the world, discovering my passion in life (writing) and a number of other things that I would never have been able to do had I become a mother. The way I look at it is, everything happens for a reason, so if you had an abortion, it wasn't meant to be and that's okay. Never let anyone try and judge you or tell you what you did was "wrong" because there are no set rights and wrongs in this life, everything is circumstantial. I believe you did the right thing for your circumstances and you will get through this just fine and if you wish, even have children one day when you are ready.

    Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more, I have aol messenger and am around pretty often. I know how much it helps to talk to someone else who has been there... anyone who hasn't just won't understand. *hugs* Take care...



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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    I never really had any emotional problems after my abortion...I was sick as a dog the whole time I was pregnant, so waking up the day after the abortion was like going from operating at 15% to operating at 100%, and I never regretted doing it. That was a little over two years ago, and I've still never regretted it. I don't think I ever will; I know I made the correct decision.

    The bleed's coming. Don't you worry about that. I had a really terribly bad post-op bleed (and I'm not talking about a period). It was actually kind of scary. But after that, don't be surprised if your period doesn't come for a couple of months. And it'll be a really big period, too.

    It sounds like stress is contributing to this pretty badly. I'd maybe take a few days and do something special for yourself. Go out to a restaurant just for dessert. Take a bubble bath (if you're allowed to do that yet; I think they gave me like a one-week limit for that). Read a fluffy romance novel. Try to detox, and that should help. You need to just take a breath for a couple of days. And I'm sure the hormonal stuff is contributing, so just don't get too concerned. This is really normal, and it'll be finished soon.

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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    It was also hard on me, but for different reasons. I became so hysterical upon seeing the ultrasound I have to be restrained ( crying hysterically and screaming "GET IT OUT OF ME!!!!" is never a good thing.). The hormonal thing was rough on me- I know I made the correct decision and was never sad or guilty about the abortion, but I felt so strung out on my own emotions (primarily anger, disappointment in myself, disgust, crying) that I had to take some time off. That scenario plus work would have made me a basket case.

    I didn't bleed heavily after my D&C either ( I was 6w2d ), just light spotting for around six weeks. As a side note- I sincerely hope you are NOT using tampons during this time as that can be dangerous.

    You need time to decompress. Do you live with your boyfriend? Can he afford it so you can take a week off? If so I would and take a "family leave" for a week or so. You need to let your body reset to normal and move on from there.

    WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING IS NORMAL. I promise you.

    Now onto the shaking issue- I'm confused, do you work as a trainer F/T and dance P/T? How long do these shakes take to resolve themselves? As someone who is EXTREMELY high strung, and CONSTANTLY strung out on their own adrenaline and speeding thoughts- I get this. I feel like my body vibrates from the inside out. It gets worse when I am stressed or excited and I lose tons of weight. I also get them sometimes from drinking too much the night before, which I do to resolve the first issue which is CALM THE FUCK DOWN!

    Have you seen a doctor about it? I actually strung myself out so badly once I got full body idiopathic hives. The doctor took one look at me and presribed me a week's worth of Ativan to take before bed- just 1mg. It was a godsend. Maybe you can see your doctor and s/he can do something similar for you during this time, like a tiny dose of Ativan or something for a week while you decompress as chill the fuck out.

    If you need anything or just want to talk, PM me. I have skype and AIM et al.

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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    i've never had an abortion. i have a six year old son. but i'm pro choice. its ur body and ur decision. i just wanted to tell you that i hope you feel better.

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Nothing is abnormal. You feel how you feel.

    I had mine close to 3 years ago and it's still a painful topic for me. I've never completely gotten over it, I don't think I ever will.

    Take it one day at a time. You did what you needed to do and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Be strong.
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    Veteran Member katerina29's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    I had a termination 4 years ago, and I felt fine after a few days of taking it easy. Its normal to feel how you feel and having a termination was one of the hardest choices that I had to make. I made the decision at the time because I had no money, didnt really like the father, and just wasnt ready. Accidents happen with birth control, and you made the best decision at the time. Im glad I made the decision I did but there is the odd time that I think ' i could have a 4 year old now'. Dont feel bad about your decision, you did what you felt was best. Hope you feel better soon.

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Thanks so much for the reassurance and sharing of experiences wonderful ladies - I'm still feeling off a week later, exhausted, angry (hormonal? stress? not at myself though ...), drained and a bit all over the show. I'm trying to take some time for myself but aside from the initial 2 days with my work schedule/responsibilities its just not possible right now (I'm a full time at the gym and have clients who expect their weekly sessions - no energy for dancing at the mo all though). I'm waking up with the shakes a bit too but they go away after a few hours ... I think that is a mix of hormones/stress/lack of sleep. I had horrible leg aches last night too which were really strange. Tried to go back to using tampons but my body didn't like that at all! Guess I'll just keep riding it out, continue to be gentle on myself till the end of this week (the second week) and hope by the end of the month I'm back at 100%!

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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Oh sweetie wish I could give u a hug. I had one earlier this year. It's absolutely an awful experience to go thru. Sometimes seeing babies still upsets me. I'm glad u definately knew u didn't want to keep it. I am pretty sure about my decision but not 100% which makes it hard.

    I felt better after I had it. The worst feelign was being pregnant and waiting for the abortion. I didn't even eat as I felt guilty for nourishing a pregnancy that I didn't want to continue with. After the abortion when the symptoms of pregnancy went away - sore nipples, cravings and little pains I found that a bit upsetting.

    I had a really unsupportive partner who was really unsympathetic which didn't help.
    I hope your partner is being really good to you.


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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Quote Originally Posted by krys View Post
    Thanks so much for the reassurance and sharing of experiences wonderful ladies - I'm still feeling off a week later, exhausted, angry (hormonal? stress? not at myself though ...), drained and a bit all over the show. I'm trying to take some time for myself but aside from the initial 2 days with my work schedule/responsibilities its just not possible right now (I'm a full time at the gym and have clients who expect their weekly sessions - no energy for dancing at the mo all though). I'm waking up with the shakes a bit too but they go away after a few hours ... I think that is a mix of hormones/stress/lack of sleep. I had horrible leg aches last night too which were really strange. Tried to go back to using tampons but my body didn't like that at all! Guess I'll just keep riding it out, continue to be gentle on myself till the end of this week (the second week) and hope by the end of the month I'm back at 100%!
    I'm willing to bet $500 if you started eating a banana every morning or some other potassium rich food this would resolve itself. Upon re-examination this sounds like classic low potassium, which makes a lot of sense to me.

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    Veteran Member jadelady's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    I have no personal experience or advice or insight to help you but I just wanted to say I support you and hope that you heal and everything gets better for you soon I can only imagine what you're going thru and I wish I could give you a hug.

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    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    This is a great, strictly moderated post abortion support board.

    http://afterabortion.com/

    I am on there. Pm me here if you want my screen name.

    ((((HUGS))))

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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    This sounds perfectly natural to me. I have had many friends go trhough the same thing. And nearly all of them felt like you do. Their bodies developed a bond, it is hard to make that go away.
    I hope you take some ME time for yourself.
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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Thanks Ladies, I saw the doc the other day and she said I seemed to have recovered fine physically and mentally ... but she did say my new work hours/schedule are really throwing my balance out. Putting a lot of extra strain on my body. It took me about 3 weeks to feel 'normal' again, and I think I'm ok now. Thankfully jaizaine I have the most amazing boyfriend so he really helped me through it. Feel blessed to have his support, couldn't imagine being left in the cold to do it alone :-(

    I still get sad sometimes when I see little kids ... but I know it just wasn't the right time. I think if anything its given me a bit of a shake up and am now a bit more focused on getting myself where I want to be so I can be ready next time around. I think it just made me see how far from that point I feel/am.

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    Senior Member Austinrox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    You know I really get fried about the fact that most insurance companies do not COVER prescriptions for birth control but yet, they cover Viagra??? WTF.
    Our threat to have access to birth control is just as must threatened as our right , and yes I do mean our "right" to have an abortion. I support any women who feels she is doing the right thing for herself.

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    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    ^What the good fuck? Even if this is the biggest necropost in the world - did you honest just bring your judgement into a support thread? It's perfectly legal in certain places, too. Guh.

    When a thread has "SUPPORT" in the title, you don't run the mouth off about how you feel.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Featured Member OJenni!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Quote Originally Posted by Austinrox View Post
    You know I really get fried about the fact that most insurance companies do not COVER prescriptions for birth control but yet, they cover Viagra??? WTF.
    Our threat to have access to birth control is just as must threatened as our right , and yes I do mean our "right" to have an abortion. I support any women who feels she is doing the right thing for herself.
    Off topic, but I get fried about the fact that tampons, pads and feminine hygiene products are taxed. They are not considered "essentials". I say women in government politics ought to sit in their male colleagues leather clad cars wearing no "feminine hygiene" products while on their periods, and see how fast these items are deemed "essential".



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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    I have never had an abortion and would probably only consider one in the event of rape. However, I really and truly hope that you are able to return to your normal self and that this event doesnt create any type of permanent scar in your life. Wishing you the best.
    The worst they can say is no.

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    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Quote Originally Posted by sloppyjoe View Post
    i've never had an abortion. i have a six year old son. but i'm pro choice. its ur body and ur decision. i just wanted to tell you that i hope you feel better.
    Same. I have a 5 year old but I'm extremely pro-choice. I was 17 and I made it work but right NOW I can honestly say I could not keep a baby. My heart goes out to you, I wish you didnt feel so badly.

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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    I am pro-choice & I used to work at an abortion clinic (remind me after this thread to contact them so I can go back).
    This choice can be very stressful and it is important that you are able to reach out and talk about what you are feeling.

    I hate kids & I hate stupid parents worse. I always said that if I got pregnant out of wedlock I would get an abortion. I got knocked up at 24 and for the life of me I couldn't bring myself to get an abortion. I don't regret my choice and will never judge someone for the choice they made.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    Good for you for doing what you saw was best for you. When I got pregnant I was too stubborn to even remotely think about adoption, much less abortion, and I wish I had weighed my options more looking back. I love my son dearly, but now was not the time for me to raise a child. I see that now, and you likely prevented yourself from embarking on something you were ill prepared for as I did.

    I'm not saying I know for 100% I would have changed my decision, it's just something that haunts me...not weighing those options.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Post Abortion Support

    If you'd like a nonjudgmental person to talk with to help you get through this, think about calling Exhale. It is staffed by trained volunteers.

    1-866-4 EXHALE
    (1-866-439–4253)
    Monday – Friday:
    5 p.m. – 10 p.m. Pacific
    Saturday – Sunday:
    12 p.m. – 10 p.m. Pacific


    http://www.4exhale.org/index.php
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