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Thread: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

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    Veteran Member bluelight's Avatar
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    Default Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    My friends and I can't agree on this!
    I have been with a guy who wanted it, and he had bisexual confusion. (Seemingly straight nowadays). Knew another guy who liked his prostate massaged...I swear that guy straight as an arrow. I heard stories here from girls who play with their husbands and read experiences where they ended up being gay. One of my own gay friends told me how he used to pretend with his ex girl, now he's sooo gay. My other friend think it has to be a "little" gay.. wtf lol

    Is there anyway to tell? How do you know for sure??

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    I have never had any experience with this. But to me, saying that a guy who maybe likes having his prostate massaged or is curious to experiment with his girlfriend like that is gay, is like saying that a guy who is willing to act out a rape fantasy with his girlfriend is a rapist.

    On the other hand, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Call me vanilla, but I'm of the belief that not every fantasy needs to be acted out.

    I have had some perverse ones while masturbating that have left me emotionally messed up for a while. I would hate to include someone else in what I myself not even be ready to deal with.

    I've been raped, and have had rape fantasies. I think a lot of it comes from not being able to put it out of my mind, so why not go with the flow. I have come to terms with it, for myself, as a way of acting out some form of self-abuse that I can't really comprehend.

    Even if it comes up when I'm with myself. Sometimes I've laid there crying afterwards.

    Some would say, well, tell your boyfriend and have him play it out with you. I can't say that would be really healthy for me. So I wouldn't.

    But what if he thought it would please me and went ahead with it?

    I feel the same for guy butt sex fantasies. Do they know if they're really ready? Is it the simple physical sensation, or more a fantasy of being fucked up the butt?

    I think when someone asks thay have probably thought a lot about it. And I think it gets more into the emotional feeling than the physical.

    I think a lot of BDSM is about emotions and sex. Sometimes when you open that emotional door to actual action it changes you.

    I would never want to do it to a guy.

    Sometimes vanilla sex is the best there is (my opinion) because it is more about a connection for me than servicing every kinky fantasy I've ever had which a lot of times have left me feeling empty and lost.

    Total tangent, but it reminds me of a Cheaters episode where the guy and camera crew walk in on his girlfriend tied up while other women in hard hats and face paint are playing with her while dilldoes hang from the canopy. Dude freaks the fuck out. I think that image scarred him, and me, for life.

    I only had one boyfriend who wanted a finger up his butt during the deed and I think he did have bisexual/gay tendencies

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Gay = wanting to have sex with men, thats it. Anything you do with a female is not gay.

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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Gay = wanting to have sex with men, thats it. Anything you do with a female is not gay.
    Completely agree! I'm sure they're a few guys in the closet and maybe some ask for this to somewhat appease their desires. From everything I've heard most secretly gay men, tend to stay as far away from anything smacking of homosexuality as possible.

    I think a lot of completely straight men like pushing the envelope with their partners in a variety of ways. It keeps things interesting and fun to explore new ideas and helps keep the spark in longer lasting relationships (lets face it, a lot of us get bored with the sex long before we are tired of the person). Jeez, I'd just be celibate if vanilla missonary was the only kind of sex I could have. Talk about boring after a while, I'd rather take a nap.

    The thing kittygirl said about vanilla sex bringing you closer just isn't true for me either. Most kinky stuff, requires a level of trust and intimacy that nothing in the vanilla world compares to. Having sex with a stranger might be okay, but how many peeps are going to let a stranger tie them up, whip them and maybe choke them, or of course use a dildo on their ass? That needs to be done with someone you trust.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Veteran Member jadelady's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    bluelight, what are you asking? If a man likes anal stimulation, that means he is gay? What? No.

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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by kittygirl View Post
    Call me vanilla, but I'm of the belief that not every fantasy needs to be acted out.

    I have had some perverse ones while masturbating that have left me emotionally messed up for a while. I would hate to include someone else in what I myself not even be ready to deal with.

    I've been raped, and have had rape fantasies. I think a lot of it comes from not being able to put it out of my mind, so why not go with the flow. I have come to terms with it, for myself, as a way of acting out some form of self-abuse that I can't really comprehend.

    Even if it comes up when I'm with myself. Sometimes I've laid there crying afterwards.

    Some would say, well, tell your boyfriend and have him play it out with you. I can't say that would be really healthy for me. So I wouldn't.

    But what if he thought it would please me and went ahead with it?

    I feel the same for guy butt sex fantasies. Do they know if they're really ready? Is it the simple physical sensation, or more a fantasy of being fucked up the butt?

    I think when someone asks thay have probably thought a lot about it. And I think it gets more into the emotional feeling than the physical.

    I think a lot of BDSM is about emotions and sex. Sometimes when you open that emotional door to actual action it changes you.

    I would never want to do it to a guy.

    Sometimes vanilla sex is the best there is (my opinion) because it is more about a connection for me than servicing every kinky fantasy I've ever had which a lot of times have left me feeling empty and lost.

    Total tangent, but it reminds me of a Cheaters episode where the guy and camera crew walk in on his girlfriend tied up while other women in hard hats and face paint are playing with her while dilldoes hang from the canopy. Dude freaks the fuck out. I think that image scarred him, and me, for life.

    I only had one boyfriend who wanted a finger up his butt during the deed and I think he did have bisexual/gay tendencies
    Wow, I totally agree with you and understand exactly what you are saying. I had an ex BF whose fantasy was to watch me get gang banged by him and all his friends and cousins. It really left me emotionally lost, because I loved him and couldn't understand how, if he loved me, he could possibly want to see me with another man. It definitely left me emotionally scarred and lost.

    Anyways, I would be suspicious if a guy fantasized about anything up his ass. I don't know, I guess I'm kind of plain jane.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    What does it matter? Even if he's bisexual that still means he can be fully attracted to you.

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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    I've used a strap on on a guy and both of us loved it. Doesn't mean he is gay, or even bi sexual.

    People derive pleasure from their bodies in lots of ways, and one way, for a whole lot of men, is anal/prostrate stimulation. People forget just how sensitive the nerves in your anus are. If a woman likes anal sex, why can't a man?

    I agree that not all fantasies need to be acted on, but I certainly think they should be open to be talked about. From there you can decide if it is something you want to do or not. If everyone is comfortable with whatever it is, go for it. If not, don't.

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by bluelight View Post
    My friends and I can't agree on this!
    I have been with a guy who wanted it, and he had bisexual confusion. (Seemingly straight nowadays). Knew another guy who liked his prostate massaged...I swear that guy straight as an arrow. I heard stories here from girls who play with their husbands and read experiences where they ended up being gay. One of my own gay friends told me how he used to pretend with his ex girl, now he's sooo gay. My other friend think it has to be a "little" gay.. wtf lol

    Is there anyway to tell? How do you know for sure??
    There's a diff b/t liking your prostate massaged and wanting a girl to fuck you up the ass with a strap-on. I'm not into a prostate massage but don't know that I'd consider that gay. However, if a guy is into a girl buttfucking him, I'd say that there is a better than normal chance that he has some gayness lurking somewhere.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    I'm going to go with The Onion's sex columnist's advice on this one. If you're having sex with a girl, it's always straight sex. You can be fucking him up the ass, dressing up as a guy and slamming his prostate, etc. etc. If you're a chick and he's a dude, it's still straight.

    Then again, I'm not much one for strict gender/sexuality lines. So try not to put anyone in a box. Let them bend their indentities.

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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    However, if a guy is into a girl buttfucking him, I'd say that there is a better than normal chance that he has some gayness lurking somewhere.
    Can we get a little more close-minded?

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Gay = wanting to have sex with men, thats it. Anything you do with a female is not gay.
    Of course it's not gay...I think the OP is asking if borderling homo/hetero sex acts can be an indicator of latent homosexuality.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Bahaha. Latent homosexuality.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Zee gayz. Zey are amung uz!! I knowz it! Ze latent homosexualzzz

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by nicole84 View Post
    Can we get a little more close-minded?
    I didn't say you're necessarily gay if you're a guy and you like taking a dildo up the ass.

    But he's definitely doing something that has homosexual overtones to it. He is putting himself into the "feminine" role in sex. Does that mean he's gay? No, but I'd be willing to bet that if you took a random sample of 1000 guys that have done this, and then a random sample of 1000 guys that haven't, there would be more gay guys in the buttfucking sample.

    And there is nothing close-minded about saying that. I didn't say I condemn anyone for liking to be cornholed.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    I didn't say you're necessarily gay if you're a guy and you like taking a dildo up the ass.

    But he's definitely doing something that has homosexual overtones to it. He is putting himself into the "feminine" role in sex. Does that mean he's gay? No, but I'd be willing to bet that if you took a random sample of 1000 guys that have done this, and then a random sample of 1000 guys that haven't, there would be more gay guys in the buttfucking sample.

    And there is nothing close-minded about saying that. I didn't say I condemn anyone for liking to be cornholed.
    No sexual activity is inherently "gay"...therefore doing one does not make you any more likely to be gay.

    It is the gender of the person doing it that makes you bi or gay. A guy can want a chick to blow him and not a guy just as much as he can want a chick to fuck his ass and not a guy. Just like a woman can want a guy to eat her out and not another woman.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by nicole84 View Post
    No sexual activity is inherently "gay"...therefore doing one does not make you any more likely to be gay.

    It is the gender of the person doing it that makes you bi or gay. A guy can want a chick to blow him and not a guy just as much as he can want a chick to fuck his ass and not a guy. Just like a woman can want a guy to eat her out and not another woman.
    I'm sorry, sometimes I don't express myself really well....just trying to answer the OP's question...the OP wants to know if a guy that is into taking a strap-on is gay. I said not necessarily, but a guy that likes to take a strap-on is probably more likely to be gay than one who doesn't. Gay men are into other men, and the sex they engage in consists largely of other men fucking them in the ass. There are men out there who deny their true sexuality, or don't know their true sexuality. Those men may be more in to sex acts that involve them doing things that men would normally do to them. So...not all men that like taking it up the ass are gay, but the chances are greater that such a guy might be.

    That does not mean your guy is gay because he likes this.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    homophobia sucks.

    *edit* that is not directed at anyone in particular in this thread, though there are undertones of it in at least 1/2 of these posts.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by nicole84 View Post
    Can we get a little more close-minded?
    They should be more closed-ass.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    They should be more closed-ass.
    wtf?

    Really people seriously need to stop worrying about what two consenting adults do with each other in the bedroom.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by nicole84 View Post
    wtf?

    Really people seriously need to stop worrying about what two consenting adults do with each other in the bedroom.
    I don't care what they do; SW really has no tolerance for humor none.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Wow, I totally agree with you and understand exactly what you are saying. I had an ex BF whose fantasy was to watch me get gang banged by him and all his friends and cousins. It really left me emotionally lost, because I loved him and couldn't understand how, if he loved me, he could possibly want to see me with another man. It definitely left me emotionally scarred and lost.

    Anyways, I would be suspicious if a guy fantasized about anything up his ass. I don't know, I guess I'm kind of plain jane.

    his cousins or your cousins? either way, once family starts entering the fantasies, that is no good. Oy, im sorry you had to put up with that! Thats horrible.



    i would say if he wants a guy to put something up his butt, he is gay. if he wants a girl to do it, he is straight and just wants something up his butt. Some guys like the sensation, and i hear having the prostate massaged can feel really pleasurable and produces mindblowing orgasms... so i can see why it might appeal to some guys. A man might also like this if he is a sub, which is not synonymous with gay. Some guys find it really hot to be dominated by a woman. They are straight, they just have an offbeat fetish.


    Yea i understand that sometimes vanilla sex is the way to go. I dated a guy who wanted anal lots (as in in my butt) and it was not something i wanted to do. And i dated a girl who was into cutting. also not something i wanted to be involved in. Man, sometimes plain old fashioned vanilla sex really is the best .
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    I'm not a homophobe. But I would not want to fuck a gay man, just my preference. And in a homophobic culture, a lot of gay men stay in the closet. Some carry on "show" relationships with women. I don't think it's homophobic to want to avoid this. By the way I've seen this way more in PA than SF, go figure.

    So much of sex is in the brain. Not just physical, so I'm inclined to want to avoid any guy that asks me to assfuck him with a strap on. Using a dilldo on him, maybe more palatable. But pretending to have a dick with harness makes it a little too weird for me.

    Pretending to fuck with a fake dick and massaging a prostate are totally different to me. The fact that some guy would want me to pretend I have a dick and and ram it in his ass frankly screams latently gay to me. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't think we need to pretend he's totally straight.

    Isn't that a little more "homophobic"?

    Lastly, it even hurts for me to think about anal. Unless a guy has had it before, I can't see him graduating to wild strap on sex first thing. Maybe he's had it before. Cause most straight guys are squemish about it because they know it hurts at first. Even poop can.

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    Default Re: Strap on for guys...Gay or nay??

    Quote Originally Posted by kittygirl View Post
    I'm not a homophobe. But I would not want to fuck a gay man, just my preference. And in a homophobic culture, a lot of gay men stay in the closet. Some carry on "show" relationships with women. I don't think it's homophobic to want to avoid this. By the way I've seen this way more in PA than SF, go figure.
    That's because in SF it is waaaaay more socially acceptable to be gay, whereas in many parts of PA you are risking ostracism and even violence by being out of the closet. (Except in Philly)

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