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Thread: So, I just started last month...

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    Veteran Member oxSkylarxo's Avatar
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    Default So, I just started last month...

    I don't think I will ever be okay with the ignorant fools that come into the club. I mean they don't know that they have offended me, but I often go home irritated.

    Tonight, I was told that I need to stop with this school girl look and start looking like a woman. I don't wear the plaid skirts, or school uniforms, and I don't wear pigtails. I just look really young for my age. My mom is an Asian lady and is 45. She looks 27. I cannot help genetics. I am heavily made up too. People still remark how I look like a teenager and don't believe I am 24. Also, I wear glasses. So, I was told I look more like a straight A student than a dancer.

    Sigh... First of all I am sick of the stereotype bullshit! What DOES a dancer look like?
    I see a wide variety of women represented at my club and on this board. Second, does looking smart not equal sexy? I have had four nights already where I have made over a hundred. So, someone must think I am appealing despite all of this. As many men who claim to not like dancers who look "trashy", I would think my look would be appreciated. It's like they can't make up their minds.

    I am also tired of men being surprised at how the conversation turns out to be intelligent. Like all we are are dumb skanks. I know this has been gone over before, but I need to vent. I am sick of some stupid douche telling me I look like I don't belong there because I look a) too nice b) too cute c) too young or d) too smart.
    What is that saying about the rest of the dancers? I am not only offended for me, but offended for all of us.

    Before I ever posted, I lurked on here for a while. This is before I became a dancer. I have seen some perfect displays of intellect on this board on an array of topics. So, I am disgusted. Almost too disgusted to care that I did well tonight. I apologize in advance if this is a never ending issue, but I needed to vent so badly. I don't have anyone who would understand.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    I'm sorry you are having a hard time about how customers perceive your looks. Just remember that in a few more years it will be a blessing in disguise.

    Do you have contacts you can wear? Maybe try letting someone else in the club do your makeup to see if it makes any difference... or just tell people you are of legal age to dance and that's all that matters.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Senior Member amaliasnightout's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    1) You can't expect everyone to like how you look. If the customer was a gentleman he'd keep his damn opinions to himself but douches DO roam the earth and your bound to run into to someone who is going to tell you that they don't like how you look at some point. As a stripper, you should expect to run into that bullshit a ton more than the general population.

    2) Men don't look at strippers as if they are ACTUAL people. Man I wish I could remember the exact quote I read about that statement so I could further explain this point, but it shouldn't come as a surprise to you that a customer doesn't expect the highest intellectual abilities out of someone who is taking their clothes off to earn money. Every time I tell a customer that I'm a bio-chem major their jaw either hits the floor or they assume I'm lying because, psh, how could I POSSIBLY be a pre-med student AND a stripper?




    I think your expectations of how customers should conduct themselves is incredibly too high. You should lower the bar a little and not take too much to heart. They are, after all, throwing away their money at a strip club because their lives are so damn pathetic...





    [and yes I just got home from a VERY shitty shift]
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Stripper persona- Britney DeFaire @ The Jet Strip.

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    Veteran Member Lklucky's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    ^^^^^^^
    Good Advice!

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    Veteran Member oxSkylarxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    Thank you for your responses. I guess I forget I am dealing with PLs and not normal people. You are right.

    I figured that it would eventually happen. I need to learn to stop taking it too personal. I guess the reason I got so upset is because this is an issue I have dealt with my whole life OTC.

    Everytime I go to a bar or liquor store, the bartender/cashier sees fit to turn my ID every wish way like a counterfit bill. You know because it must be FAKE lol. Men and women have mistaken me for being as young as fourteen which I think is a gross exaggeration. Once, I was at work at a restaurant. The customer asked if there was no school that day and if that was why I was at work. At this point, I had graduated highschool two years before. I worked at Dillard's as a Beauty Advisor for Lancome. I was helping a woman pick a shade of foundation. She pointed out that she was hesitant to be assisted by me because I looked like I didn't really work there. Naw, I enjoy wearing the uniform and name tag to impersonate Dillard employees while skipping math class. *rolls eyes*

    Most of all, I live alone in an apartment I PAY for. A young man selling stuff for a school fundraiser asked if my mother was home. Sigh. You know, I guess I have been dealing with lame people all over the place. Why did I think the club would be any better? If anything it is worse.

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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    well you just started so you've gotta learn the ropes and such, but hopefully eventually you can work at a really nice club where the customers appreciate a smart girl. although most of the times the guys didn't come in for an intellectual discussion, but titties in their face. i've certainly had to dumb myself down at work, and made much more money.
    i wore glasses for a period of time too, i wouldn't suggest them for a newbie. i got that i looked like a sexy librarian or school teacher every single shift. because you look so young i guess they think school girl. but you have to just have this extreme air of sexiness and confidence around you to pull off glasses. i got sick of trying to pull it off every night and just went back to contacts. its funny that girls who started working with me when i was wearing my glasses are like "woa is that you?" like i'm so much hotter without them apparently.

    so i understand your frustrations, but just don't try to change the negative stripper stereotype one customer at a time. you'll get exhausted and lose money. let idiots think what they wanna think, and find a way to make money off of it! good luck sweetie.

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    Veteran Member oxSkylarxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    Thanks. Right now, I don't have the money to spend on disposible contacts. I also tried them a few years ago and they irritated my eyes. Is there a specific brand that stays pretty moist?

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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    well i use focus dailies, they're great for me. i've been wearing contacts for, let's see, 16yrs now. my eyes get more upset without contacts in then wearing them. i'm a -9.5 so wearing my glasses really makes me feel like i'm in my own world. because i can't see at all all around them, i'm very conscious that i am behind glass. are your eyes bad enough to just not wear glasses sometimes at work? i tried that before because i thought it would be sweet to not really see how ugly the custies were, but it turns out i couldn't even see if a person was sitting in the chair or not, so that didn't work.

    do you live in or by a major city at all? i've worked all over NJ and now i'm in manhattan, and the customers are so much better here. i mean, ideally, you need to work on yourself so that it doesn't matter what any dumb customer says, but it is easier just to not hear it in the first place.

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    Im sorry you're having a hard time. To continue in this business you're going to have to develop a much thicker skin. Realize that these idiots don't matter. Their money does. And if you can't get money out of one idiot there is always another sitting right next to him to work it from.

    Your look is your look. Some guys can not like it, some guys will drop thousands on you because of it. Don't change it just bc some loser told you he didn't like it. For all you know he couldn't handle the fact that he was attracted to you BECAUSE of how young you looked.

    Learn to read your customer. I instantly know whether to be the "dumb" stripper, or whether intelligent conversation will be appreciated. It's absolutely irrelevant to me which personality they want. Im not there to be friends with the guy. I don't care what he really thinks of me. My job is to take his money. That's ALL I care about.

    In order to do your job you're going to have to stop being offended. You're going to have to stop caring what these guys think and start looking at them as dollar signs. No one cares what the dollar sign says or thinks only thing that matters is that he's filling your g-string with money. If he's not find another dollar sign because honey, this business will eat you up and spit you out without a second thought if you can't. Trust me when I say the other girls don't give a shit either. Go in make your money, be happy when you have a good night and leave the BS at the door of the club when you leave.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Veteran Member oxSkylarxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    Thanks everyone. You're right. I need to just not let it bother me as much. I should've just walked off. Anyways, I am nearsighted. I don't wear my glasses on stage or during lapdances. I do wear them once I am finished and making my rounds on the floor. I also typically wear them when I sit with the customers. That way if they point out something on the tv or one of the girls and asks about it, I can see who/what they are talking about.

    I think yes some men are uncomfortable with being attracted to a young looking girl. I also think alot of people feel the need to categorize or put a label on something to be made to feel better. I didn't fit into what he labels a "stripper". So, it bothered him and probably had to make him think.

    As far as the other girls in the club, I have not had any problems. I usually work dayshift and there aren't only but 4-6 girls that shift. I am often in the dressing room by myself because I tend to get there early to avoid the house fee. When I do talk to them I keep it pretty simple. If there is any issues with anyone I stay out of it. Frankly, I can't choose any sides anyways. I don't know what of them well enough.

    I work in Dallas, Texas. I find that most of the customers are pretty good. I usually don't get this kind of bs until later in the evening. I find there isn't as much drunken rudeness going on around lunch time. I also have to equate the conversation to the type of customer. I find that most of the jerk like behavior comes from younger/college age guys and African American men. I don't mean this to sound like a bigot. I am just not their cup of tea. However, I don't discriminate and I will hustle/talk to any customer regardless. Especially, when times are tough and there jus aren't that many customers there in the first place.

    In the specific aforementioned situation, the two guys were looking at me. I guess I mistakened his weird stares for genuine interest. In actuality, he was looking for someone to pick on or really felt the need to tell me I don't belong there because I didn't fit his label of what a "stripper" is.

    In the future, I am going to learn to distiguish this sort of thing better from actual positive intrigue and get up from the table sooner.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: So, I just started last month...

    Honestly .... just hang it there if you like it ok ( I mean ... you have your complaints ... but are still there right ? ) . Your money will probably increase the more comfortable you get at your club ( there WILL be some men who LIKE your look and will come back to see you ).

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