Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: maybe its just not in me...

  1. #1
    Veteran Member omfgbarbie's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    NYC-MIAMI
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default maybe its just not in me...

    I finally did it - went in yesterday and auditioned. I got hired right away and they told me I could start right away. So I worked last night and tonight.

    All of my close girlfriends work there - theyre all the top earners and are in rooms all night long, they never even make it to the floor. They promised they would help me and stick me in a room with them (500$/hr per girl.. usually goes on for 3-5 hrs)... of course.. dont see them the whole night.. was by myself most of the time.. but thats ok cuz i dont expect anything from anyone... asked a few guys if they wanted company.. they all said no thanks but youre super hot... like idono is that supposed to make me feel better? all the girls were really nice but i think its only cause they know who im friends with... around 2 am got fed up... had to pay almost 240$ in house fees... i had to go to the fucking atm to take out my rent money to pay for it... couldnt stop crying.

    Yesterday was a little better.. gave out 3 dances an didnt have to pay house fee... they told me to come back and it would get better. So went home with 60$ yesterday, and my cab fare was $45.

    What I dont get is that I see tonsss of girls that I know i look better than (I really dont want to sound conceited), making lotss of money and giving dance after dance.. in rooms for HOURS... wHAT am i dong wrong? After 10 guys tell me no I crack and get upset. I have no confidence whatsoever and being rejected really really hurts me, even though I know it shouldn't. So after awhile I dont want to go up to anyone.

    I guess it just isnt for me. Sucks though cause the management really likes me and i reall need to make money but what can I do.

  2. #2
    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,636
    Thanks
    495
    Thanked 744 Times in 433 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    Wow, that's a pretty steep house fee to pay for a newbie. Is there anywhere you can go where the pressures not so great until you learn the ropes?
    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

  3. #3
    Veteran Member omfgbarbie's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    NYC-MIAMI
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    it is a lot.. 120 house fee... 60$ to dj, 11 to mom, 10 to makeup, 10 to hair(even if you dont use them), 20$ late fee(they didnt tell me that if you come after 8 youre considered late)20$ for a new gstring cause mine wasnt aloud...

  4. #4
    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,016
    Thanks
    2,110
    Thanked 4,475 Times in 2,023 Posts
    My Mood
    Brooding

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    Yikes.
    You have to learn to not take it personally... In this job you're going to get rejected. A lot.
    Maybe there's a specific dancer they came there to see. Maybe they don't have the money for a dance. There are a million different reasons you might get rejected... plenty of them having nothing to do with you.

    One of my VERY good friends and long-time coworker is probably a 2-3 in the looks dept (being honest, not exaggerating) and she makes as much, if not more money than me.
    It's all about knowing how to sell yourself. This is often why you'll see girls you think you're MUCH prettier than selling more dances than you.
    Even if guys think you're hot... that doesn't make them automatically want to buy a dance. You have to learn to make them want one.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to DesuvsDeath For This Useful Post:


  6. #5
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    958
    Thanks
    170
    Thanked 457 Times in 225 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    I know it's different in NYC, but those house fees are really high for a newbie. Maybe find somewhere not so steep while you learn the ropes. You are very beautiful, so men should not be turning you down. But maybe too beautiful and they feel intimidated. Try acting goofy and silly to get their guard down. And try looking more approachable. I think the prettier you are, the harder it can actually be sometimes.

    Also don't ever ask them if they want company. 9 times out of ten, they will say no. Never ask, just do it. Just go over and start chatting. I usually will find something to strike up a convo about like,"Oh I see you are drinking wine! I am a white wine girl personally. What do you like? Red or White? Have you been to such and such Vineyards?" or "I love that tie! Where did you get it? I love that store!" All the while I am chatting, I start moving myself into a chair, and TA-DA! I have now become company without asking! You may just need to work on your hustle a bit. I see lots of trashy looking girls make money all the time. They just know how to hustle really well.

    And the more men you talk to, the more chances for money. The more you work, the more rejection will begin to mean nothing to you. It hurts at first, but then after a while, you could care less, especially when you get a fistful of cash.

    Hope this helps! Don't give up. You are too pretty and there should be lots of money to be made for you!

  7. #6
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,207
    Thanks
    110
    Thanked 247 Times in 168 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    I would find a lower end club. Especially because you're new. $240 in house fees when you don't even have any game yet is ridiculous. Find a place that has much lower house fees, an start reading hustle hut. Read it, and read it, and read it. I was already a top earner when I found this site in 04(different account that I lost the password to) and reading huslte hut made me even better. There were, are some incredibly wise women around these here parts. Keep your chin up, and don't give up.

  8. #7
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    It sounds like you are working in an upscale club, with the fees being so high. Sometimes it is easier money to work in a blue collar club. Personally I always banked at the little dive bars, and the customer expectation of contact/extras was always less at the little dive bars than at the upscale clubs.

    Do some club shopping to find a good match for your personality style. It isn't always a good personality match to work in an upscale club. There is money in the divey bars too. As a matter of fact, I found the money to be better and more consistent in the dive bars than in the upscale places due to the low house fees/tip outs.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  9. #8
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    958
    Thanks
    170
    Thanked 457 Times in 225 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    Agreed, I have always done better in dives.

  10. #9
    Veteran Member DancingDaisy's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2009
    Posts
    387
    Thanks
    199
    Thanked 93 Times in 67 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    Im with everone else on trying the dives or middle ground club first. High end club hustle is harder to get used to in my opinion. Go through everthing on hustle hut hear on the site. If you have extra money, I would recommend www.stripandgrowrich.com and get the dancerwealth course. It made a huge difference on my hustle and iv been making more money since I have used it.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to DancingDaisy For This Useful Post:


  12. #10
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    Yes, you really need to look at www.stripandgrowrich.com

    NEVER ask if they want company. Just pull up a chair, introduce yourself and start talking. Don't be rude about it though, if there's another drink on the table make sure another dancer isn't sitting with the customer.

    Second, what you talk about and how you talk to the customer will totally depend on the type of customer. Strip and Grow Rich will teach you all about that. Be flirtatious though and avoid asking "wanna dance?". Don't forget body language - leaning in, smiling, etc.

    As far as the other girls, they've been doing this longer and their confidence has already been built up. You are young an new... and your looks will only get you so far. You are going to have to build up your conversation and sales skills. I'm sure your friends want to show you how to do things, but what they probably don't realize is that they don't have much time. You are going to have to stick your neck out a bit more and be willing to learn on your own... and chances are in the end you'll probably be better than they are!
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Kylea2 For This Useful Post:


  14. #11
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2009
    Location
    The D in Big D stands for Drugs
    Posts
    756
    Thanks
    184
    Thanked 230 Times in 136 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    10 to hair and makeup even if you don't use them? wtf?!

  15. #12
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    ^^^ That's my thought too. Sometimes though the housemom/makeup artist also has other duties like keeping the dressing room clean.

    It still seems odd though, I'd double check with the manager on that.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  16. #13
    Featured Member london's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    http://playtimewithsandra.com
    Posts
    1,068
    Thanks
    708
    Thanked 300 Times in 136 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    As a pretty girl, you're probably used to how things work outside of the club. I'm sure you're well aware that these same guys that tell you you're hot yet don't give you their money would be buying you drinks all night and trying to get with you constantly if you were in a normal social environment.

    You have to remember that in the club, none of these same rules apply. You may be gorgeous, but in an upscale club, even the girls who aren't as hot as you are still probably at a certain level of hotness to mesh with the clientele. They are also more conditioned to how things work in strip club land and their ease and confidence makes the buyer more likely to buy from them because of this.

    You can fake confidence by going beyond relying on your looks. Your beauty already speaks for itself, now you need to give the customer the initiative to do more than just look at you. You hae to engage the customer, and, as aforementioned, try being a little silly, more personable, and make the GUY feel like HE'S the pretty one (you know what I mean).

    Every guy wants to feel validated, welcomed, and appreciated. He can see that you deserve to work there, but what are you going to do for him?

    And that's meant in the purest, cleanest sense. You want to be their beautiful hostess, not just eye candy. Work on engaging each person, giving a genuine smile, showing real (or be really good at feigning!) interest.

    People want to be around people that seem to really like their company. And they will pay for that privilege. Good luck!
    The Official Sandra London Website and Blog

    My Live and Grind Emporium:


    Listen to Playtime with Sandra Radio.


  17. The Following User Says Thank You to london For This Useful Post:


  18. #14
    God/dess britneyireland's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    2,568
    Thanks
    283
    Thanked 602 Times in 340 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Inspired

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    What I dont get is that I see tonsss of girls that I know i look better than (I really dont want to sound conceited), making lotss of money and giving dance after dance.. in rooms for HOURS... wHAT am i dong wrong? After 10 guys tell me no I crack and get upset. I have no confidence whatsoever and being rejected really really hurts me, even though I know it shouldn't. So after awhile I dont want to go up to anyone.

    Succeeding in this industry has VERY LITTLE to do with what you look like. It has EVERYTHING to do with your skills to gain rapport with the customer, close a sale, and then upsell.

    My students above have already recommended my online stripper school. I spent FOUR YEARS feeling the same way you did. It's even more pronounced at high end clubs where your success is determined not by how many $20 dances you sell, but by your ability to close BIG thousand dollar VIP deals.

    First, check out The SuperSTripper Secret Weapon on YouTube. This will help you not get so upset after rejection. In our member section we have even more tools to help you stay in the Zone.

    Also, the club you describe and your location sounds like Sapphire NY. Ask the housemom and see the flyer in the dressing room for the Sapphire Discount Code. We have a partnership with them.
    Rebecca Avalon







  19. The Following User Says Thank You to britneyireland For This Useful Post:


  20. #15
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,149
    Thanks
    1,307
    Thanked 2,530 Times in 1,295 Posts
    My Mood
    Sick

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    Man that sucks babe! You are really hot! I remember seeing a photo in some thread somewhere. Anyways when I started dancing I was really struggling too and couldn't figure out why. Then my friend pointed out I was acting like myself! LOL. I'm the girl that's always friends with the boys. The one they trust and tell all their secrets to. I'm not ugmo or something, I just always had a boyfriend so whenever I interacted with guys I never sent out "fuck me" signals. LOL.

    Now I smile a lot. Touch them a lot. Touch their arm, stroke their hand, give them a cuddle. I flirt hopelessly with my eyes. Think of it as you are trying to persuade them home with you...not trying to persuade $$$ out of their wallet. Flirt, flirt, flirt. Not in a desprite way. Give, then pull back. When they want more, push for the dance. Don't talk about yourself too much. Feed their ego, but also give the impression that you don't really need them. It's all a big game and takes time to get a hang of. I saw the movie "The Ugly Truth" with Katherine Heigel the other day and actually thought it had a few good techniques that work in the strip club rather than the dating world LOL. How to get a guy to like you. I laughed watching it because I use a lot of the things suggested in the movie.

    Personally I would try to stay at the high end club because obviously girls are doing well there. From the sounds of things if you make it there you will come out with a strong hustle. Remember a lot of girls have regulars too and it takes time to built those up. Don't give up! You'll get there.

  21. #16
    Veteran Member Flaka's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Dirty Jerz
    Posts
    284
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    Aww barbie you'll be ok! You just started out, it's rough. I'm the same way tho, I get rejected and want to cry/quit. Try to stick it out for a little while longer to see if you get better at hustling and more comfortable with the whole scenario.

    All the other ladies, that was great advice, thanx!

    Good luck!

  22. #17
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    202
    Thanks
    284
    Thanked 257 Times in 101 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    Give yourself some time. Sounds like some of the dancers you work with have been in the business long enough to establish their own returning customers. Also when they are not busy with regulars and are out on the floor, they are probably able to determine which new guys have potential and which do not. (Just as valuable). You are entering a new profession and you can't know everything over night.

    The most inspiring girl I've ever worked with was very plain and did not have a stripper body. But she was the hardest working, the most perseverant, and maintained a positive attitude no matter how many "no's" she received. I used to watch her approach a customer, sit on his lap, whisper something slightly suggestive in his ear and start a conversation. If he wasn't interested, she gave him a little pat and moved on. She never stopped-she was a trooper all night long, every day she worked. She was very nice and sweet and made customers feel like a million bucks. She made her style work for her (and work, and work, and work...). She would have been the underdog based on looks alone, but she made alot of money. I attempted to learn as much as I could from her before I moved from NYC.

  23. #18
    Veteran Member Lklucky's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    294
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked 44 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: maybe its just not in me...

    I saw your pic on another thread and you really are very pretty; you will have to work extra hard to seem DOWN TO EARTH for these guys. I think your looks will elicit some prejudice from guys who have been rejected by women in your "league"

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •