Picture it: Salisbury NC, two months ago.
I'm having a romantic evening with a fat redneck who thinks 'girls with tattoos look weird' all the while I'm being surrounded by tacky halloween decorations a month after the holiday. The toilet is stopped up, water everywhere, and theres been a floater in that thing for like, 3 days so I have to use the VIP bathroom where a taxidermy fox... yep a DEAD animal looks down at me whilst I'm washing my hands or airdancing on some smelly guy like 5 feet away from him.
The jukebox... yes, I said jukebox, warbles out the same crap music every thirty minutes or so. The bouncers are invisible. Like, invisible friends. Champagne? Bah! Who even needs a liquor license, coffee will do jest faaaaahn.
There was no DJ, hence the jukebox, so I would yell in between the songs in a DJ-ish voice, just to be an ass. This would always piss off the 'Golden Girls', aka the 70 year old women that run the place. Do you know how much it sucks trying to give a lapdance while some old lady stares at you, two feet away, just waiting for you to mess up so she can take your money?
Let's see... tabledances were 5 bucks and if you missed work you had to pay the house 50 bucks, and you were expected to come in five nights a week, open to close. You get fined for EVERYTHING. If I was ever stupid enough to go back, I'd have to pay 150$ up front to work in that shithole just because I quit. This place lasted all of three weeks for me.
Money-Bullshit ratio.
I know it doesn't really compete with the septic tank thing, but I'm in a sharing mood tonight. Gotta love moving to a new town and trying to find a club that's nearby... especially when it's in the boonies.
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