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Thread: Question from a new patron

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    Default Question from a new patron

    First let me say I know I am going to get flamed for this question. I have been to a strip club twice in the last two weekends. The first time ever being in a strip club and the first time getting a lap dance. What I wanna know is how do you know if a dancer that talks to you at length before and after lapdances if she realy enjoys talking to you or not? The reason I ask is I do not want to be a cusomer that bothers her. Any insite is appreciated thank you.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Quote Originally Posted by zippoman View Post
    First let me say I know I am going to get flamed for this question. I have been to a strip club twice in the last two weekends. The first time ever being in a strip club and the first time getting a lap dance. What I wanna know is how do you know if a dancer that talks to you at length before and after lapdances if she realy enjoys talking to you or not? The reason I ask is I do not want to be a cusomer that bothers her. Any insite is appreciated thank you.
    Just pay her $$$ for her time sitting there talking to you, then you definitely won't be bothering her. I would bet $100000000000 that she really doesn't enjoy talking to you though. Sorry bud.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
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    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Most of the time the answer is a pretty definate no.
    But there are a few customers I talk to because I genuinely enjoy talking to them... so you never know.

    I agree with J.D., though... if you want to be sure you're not a bother, you're more than welcome to tip her for her time.
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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    To most dancers the conversation is purely business and the nature/duration of the conversation will be dependent on the sales pitch/hustle the dancer is using.

    If the club is quiet or if the dancer thinks you are a polite/respectful customer, you will probably get a slightly longer conversation than if the club is busy - in which case you will get the immortal "wanna dance?" question.

    As to how much conversation is too long: if you're not interested in a dance, it's considered good manners to make that clear early in the conversation. It's then the dancers choice as to whether to keep on chatting or move onto the next customer.

    If you're buying dances, it's generally the girls choice as to how long she chats. Most dancer's aren't shrinking violets and are quite capable of asking you for another dance or moving onto the next client.

    As long as you're buying a reasonable number of dances or tipping for conversation, the dancer is probably happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Just pay her $$$ for her time sitting there talking to you, then you definitely won't be bothering her. I would bet $100000000000 that she really doesn't enjoy talking to you though. Sorry bud.
    To a dancer you're one of 50 guys she might approach and talk to that night. Never forget that to her its her living and for you its entertainment. If you try and read more into it than that, you're heading for disappointment....

    Phil.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I've totally stared at guys' wallets with lust in my heart
    J.D. explaining how she reacts to guys staring at her body with lust in their hearts....

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    LOL, well, you do not know and you should not care. Every dancer has a different approach. Some will sit with you and chat for a bit before trying to sell you a dance, some will simply come right over to you and ask outright. Don't lie to her about your intentions and don't waster her time and try to haggle.

    It's her job. If you are being a pain in the ass she will walk away...
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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Chances are no she does not enjoy talking to you and just wants your money. Consider yourself lucky though that you found out about this forum when you first started your strip club visits. I don't want you to end up like I did and visit the club multiple times thinking you can maybe go out to dinner with her or help pay her bills, etc. She just wants cash.
    Sitting and chatting with you before the lap dance is nothing..but if she sits with you after you bought lap dance then maybe she is into you.
    say something like "I would love to continue having this conversation with you but I know you have to work tonight" and ask for her number. if she is still willing to chat with you outside the club then yes she might be into you. But if the conversation is based on "when are you going to come see me in the club again I have this sexy outfit I want to wear for you" then just move on and forget her.

    Also one time in my early SC days I had a dancers number and she told me on the phone one night she was feeling lonely and wanted some company. We could watch a movie or something. Being the idiot I was I speed off to blockbuster (this was before netflix and redbox) and rented a new popular dvd release and bought flowers. When I get to her apartment she looked dressed up and sexy, but the first question was "so how much money did you bring?" LOL She was not really interested in a movie or company she just wanted to sell sex. I did not bring a fat wad of cash with me so she just sent me home with blue balls several minutes later.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Awwww, ya'll are being harsh. I'm a talker and love chit-chatting with people. If I've done some dances, and I like the guy's company, I'll stick around for a bit, unless the club is packed or I have someone waiting.

    I've had some awesome chats with some really swell peeps over the years. However, to the OP, it really isn't that important if she is enjoying talking to you or not. Just don't waste her time. If you guys get into a long conversation, think...who is doing most of the talking, you, or her? If you've sort of used her as a "therapist" of sorts, its polite to throw a little tip her way.

    A lot of bitter, jaded people on this site. Sure she wants cash, just like you want your paycheck when you work, and she is giving something in return, ya know?

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Pay her for her time. Then you're not bothering her. Simple.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    Awwww, ya'll are being harsh. I'm a talker and love chit-chatting with people.

    ...

    Sure she wants cash, just like you want your paycheck when you work, and she is giving something in return, ya know?
    There, cleared that up for ya.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Thank You for the input.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    If you've only visited her twice and bought a dance once, she's still probably sizing you up/cultivating you as a customer. A lot depends on how busy it was at the time and how much money you eventually spent as well.

    Do you care if she spends the hour or so talking to you? Is that part of why you're there? If so, you should take that into consideration when you pay her. If your overwhelming interest in her is getting dances from her, let her know that. Tell her you want a dance from her but that you don't want to monopolize her time, so she should feel free to look for other money-making opportunities while she is sitting with you. As long as you are straighforward with her, I don't see anything to worry about.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    see PL thread

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    Pay her for her time. Then you're not bothering her. Simple.
    Yes. I've had some awesome conversations in strip clubs, BUT .... they don't last long if I'm not being compensated . It's her work place , so she will be distracted and thinking about the next sale instead of relaxed/focused on talking if she isn't being tipped.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    There are many customers that I have enjoyed talking to. A lot of the time interesting and intelligent men come into the club that I work at.

    If it's busy I can't get involved in lengthy conversations because time is money. But if it's quiet I don't mind. Obviously tipping me for my time will make me a lot happier.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Agree with Yoda - you can't tell and you shouldn't care. Just enjoy it. As long as you don't lead them on about getting an LD you can't be held responsible for wasting their time. The strippers shoulld be able to decide for themselves what they do.

    Strippers have chatted with me for lengthy periiods of time and I've seen them sit with other customers too. Strippers get lazy, tired or discouraged at times. However there is no reason why a stripper might not also like talking to you and it could be a factor.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    I usually just, "cut to the chase." Ask the dancer if she is interested in spending some time in VIP. Chit-chat a little bit and buy a bunch of dances.
    Come back next week or however often and do it all over again either with the same dancer or find another one I like.
    They all really enjoy talking with you if your respectful and spend $$$.
    At least that's been this PL's experience.
    Last edited by bigmarv; 01-02-2010 at 04:03 PM.

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    Default Re: another question from a new patron

    There is a dancer that I buy dances from that asked me a few questions about how I was feeling and what I was thinking about. Being brand new to this sort of thing I find myself being extreamly cautious (sp?). So I told her that I had conflicting thoughts. Her responce was tell me about them. I said I'd tell her if she really wanted to know. She said she did. My question is how real do you think she wants the answer? I ended up telling her. I apologised for getting too serious about real life but she told me she didn't mind and asked for a hug and told me that she enjoyed my company. I am a very honest person and I can be nieve and to be honest it scares the hell out me that I have fantacy's about this woman. I am a married man with children and have not had the kind of attention and physical contact that she (the dancer) has given me from my wife in a long time. The more I told her the more she times she asked how I was doing. I went to the club for the first time a few weeks ago to try to get a little satisfaction and let my fantacies take shape. This dancer has satisfied those needs more than I have had those needs had been met in a year or more and on top of it I enjoy her company a great deal and like an idiot told her this. Did I do wrong? And yes I tipped her. May be this makes me a PL but I really don't care. Waiting to get flammed. any thoughts?
    Last edited by zippoman; 01-04-2010 at 09:02 AM.

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    A lot of men, including me when I was married, go to the club for the same reasons that you do. Keep perspective and keep your feet on the ground. This dancer understands exactly why you are there, they all do. Some will treat you right, as it appears she has, and others will try to take advantage of you. It will always be up to you to control your emotions and your wallet.

    You can have a great time in a strip club. You can relax and enjoy the company of a beautiful women but never forget that your relationship with the dancer starts when you walk in the door of the club and ends when you walk out. A dancer would rather spend time with a nice guy than a jerk but her primary motivation for showing up at work is money. Don't lose sight of that and you will be fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    A strip club is an environment where a different set of rules apply than in the real world. That doesn't mean that we abandon all rules - for example, we should still remain courteous and respect the dancers limits.

    But some things do change. Dancers definitely would not behave the same in the real world as they do in the club. They certainly won't be as flirtatious and exhibitionistic. They may also misrepresent things like married status etc.

    Similarly, customer feel free to stare openly at a dancers' body, maybe voice comments that they wouldn't in the real world, etc.

    As long as you remember and respect that slightly different set of rules and behave in a way that you won't be embarrassed about when you get back into the real world, there's no reason why you can't enjoy yourself in an SC.

    As to the question of wife, etc, as long as you're not transgressing any limits you you should not, and as long as your fantasies remain just fantasies, I don't seem any problems. (And also assuming that your spending is not going to cause any financial embarrassment....)

    As to the liking/being liked by the dancer, the genuineness of the emotion will vary from dancer to dancer. With some it will be 'stripper shit' - a fake attitude put on to keep you spending. With other dancers the affection will be genuine: as Yoda says, dancers would rather spend time with nice guys than with jerks. Just remember the affection is for you as a customer - and is unlikely to to translate to a genuine desire to see you outside of work.

    Just regard strip clubs as a bit like Alice in Wonderland - you walk through a door into a world where the Red Queen reigns (and her handmaidens take their clothes off). So while inside the door, you obey the Red Queen's rules - and when you go back through the door you go back to normal rules.

    Phil.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I've totally stared at guys' wallets with lust in my heart
    J.D. explaining how she reacts to guys staring at her body with lust in their hearts....

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    hmmm I'll have to call my boss the red queen one of these days, maybe after playing white rabbit

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    Default Re: Question from a new patron

    Quote Originally Posted by teleron View Post
    hmmm I'll have to call my boss the red queen one of these days, maybe after playing white rabbit
    Ok Alice in Wonderland! Lay off the LSD....
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

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    Default Is this typical?

    So last weekend I go to the club to have a few dances with my favorite dancer. I had only enough for four dances then I was going to go home. so I ask her how many dances we have done and she tells me that we are just starting our fourth, I say ok this will have to be the last one I can't buy any more tonight. As normal she gets me all hot and bothered and when the song ends she says to me she'll give me one for free. So I gave her an extra couple of bucks (I only had so much cash on me) and I thanked her. She sat with me for a while and just cuddled up to me and chated for a while. Is this typical for any dancers here when a semi regular tells you this is how much I've got to spend tonight?

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    Default Re: Is this typical?

    Quote Originally Posted by zippoman View Post
    So last weekend I go to the club to have a few dances with my favorite dancer. I had only enough for four dances then I was going to go home. so I ask her how many dances we have done and she tells me that we are just starting our fourth, I say ok this will have to be the last one I can't buy any more tonight. As normal she gets me all hot and bothered and when the song ends she says to me she'll give me one for free. So I gave her an extra couple of bucks (I only had so much cash on me) and I thanked her. She sat with me for a while and just cuddled up to me and chated for a while. Is this typical for any dancers here when a semi regular tells you this is how much I've got to spend tonight?
    I've had it happen to me. We got to the end of our allotted time, and asked if we were doing another. I told her I only had X number of dollars left, and it was her option to take it as a tip or do another 1/2 hr, and have no tip. It was not a trick question, I would have been perfectly fine with her taking it as a tip. Yet, she opted for the 1/2 hour. Did't quite understand that logic, but was happy with her choice. Now, I know full well there were other customers waiting for her on the floor, so it wasn't like I was her only option...

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    Default Re: Is this typical?

    Quote Originally Posted by zippoman View Post
    Is this typical for any dancers here when a semi regular tells you this is how much I've got to spend tonight?
    It can be. It really depends on the dancer and how busy the club is. If a lady sees regulars around she is going to go get their money but if it's a slow night, you just spent money on her and you are not acting like a moron then yes, she may hang out for a while. The next time you may do ten dances and she may not hang out at all. Don't make too much out of it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Is this typical?

    Quote Originally Posted by zippoman View Post
    So last weekend I go to the club to have a few dances with my favorite dancer. I had only enough for four dances then I was going to go home. so I ask her how many dances we have done and she tells me that we are just starting our fourth, I say ok this will have to be the last one I can't buy any more tonight. As normal she gets me all hot and bothered and when the song ends she says to me she'll give me one for free. So I gave her an extra couple of bucks (I only had so much cash on me) and I thanked her. She sat with me for a while and just cuddled up to me and chated for a while. Is this typical for any dancers here when a semi regular tells you this is how much I've got to spend tonight?
    I have had this happen many times. BUT, I have observed the "I'll throw one in for free" hustle never happens the first time you see a dancer, and never again after the fourth or fifth time.

    In other words, it's just another marketing tool, one that combines how sexy she is with how wonderful and great and "I just like dancing for you" that she is.

    It is only offered to those seen as potential regulars.

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