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Thread: Rant rant bitch bitch...

  1. #1
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Ok, sooo I really wanted to get some insight and maybe let off some steam here, so here goes.

    A dancer friend of mine came to visit last week, so naturally we're working, right? I pulled like 70 hours last week and several double shifts and was at an out of town club until 6am HUSTLING!!! So you can imagine, after this stint I was pretty beat. I took TWO days off, one to rest up and the other to clean house and do laundry, then it was back to work.

    Ok, a little back story: I'm staying with my boyfriend's parents until we get our house all fixed up and liveable.

    So I get a text from the bf saying, 'Hey you need to wake up earlier, I'm tired of hearing them bitch.' Which I promptly responded: 'Everyone in the house is aware I work third shift.'

    Anyway, long story short, I was told that I needed to get a 'job' because all I do is sleep all day. I work, on average 40-60 hours in the club full time, in 8 inch heels, basically doing cardio the whole time, not to mention climbing a 20 foot pole, doing headstands and somersaults, and trying to talk circles around these assholes just to make 20 freakin' dollars. I drive an hour to work and an hour back. Between the hair extensions, fake tanner, and makeup, it takes me 2-3 hours to get ready. I pay my house fees, I hustle, I try to look my best... but this doesn't qualify as a 'JOB' to these people??

    I suppose I would get more respect if I worked at the greasy BBQ hut down the road selling pulled pork and sweet tea and making 2.13 an hour. I love the South.

    Oh, I guess I should also mention that I help pay the bf's bills... because I don't have any. And that I make more than him.

    This drama, coupled with all the little local girly girls that are blowing up said bf's phone/facebook/myspace with 'like OMFGZ do u still has a GF, i like totally missez u!!' is really starting to get under my skin. I think I'm just going to join the circus.

    So, basically, here's the recap: I do all the work and then come home to a messy room with no clean clothes, bf's family doesn't speak to me... like won't even say hi, I can't sleep in after a stint of double shifts without someone being pissed off, I don't really trust the boyfriend when I'm away 'strip tripping'... which sucks because I'll either be in Miami or New Orleans soon.

    So I think I may take a strip trip and just not come back. We'll see.

  2. #2
    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    If this man disrespects your job, even though you pay his bills, please reconsider your plan to have a future with him.

    If his family doesn't talk to you anyhow, ignore that they are pissed off at you about sleeping in after work. No need to wake up to be ignored, and its not like you need to stay in their good graces.

    If other women were texting my man that they wish he would dump me, and he still wanted to be their friend, I would give him his freedom.

    So in light of all this... why are you with him? If you answer that - for yourself, not for me - it might help you make a decision about what to do next.

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    Veteran Member spyder's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    dude sounds like dead weight to me, no way would i help pay someone's bills. If you're the main money earner, helping him out, he ought to support your hours to his parents. Though in my experience nobody ever understands 3rd shift hours unless they've worked them. I had a live in boyfriend one time who worked 1st shift, he'd leave for work around the time i was going to bed. He'd come home around 3 pm and be all aghast that i was in bed asleep and hadn't done anything around the house in his absence. That shit got old fast, i eventually kicked him out since i was making more and it was MY house. Have you tried having a word with him about his expectations, to see if you all are on the same page?

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    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Yes, please get rid of this guy. It will only get worse. The nerve of someone to have you pay their bills and get mad that you need your rest. At the very least tell him how you feel about what he says and have a discussion on it. If things don't change in the near future, either get rid of him or continue to deal with it.

    I will say that I feel you on the day sleeping thing. I deal with the same issue when I am staying with others. Even when they know you work third shift, see you leaving at night, they get all butthurt when you sleep during the day. It's ridiculous.

    I know guys that wouldn't want me to pay their bills even if I made more than them. I would offer simply because I was living with them and don't want to be viewed as a mooch. Your situation sounds a bit different. You are working your ass off and can't even come home to relax without someone having something to say.

    Do you get a chance to save most of this hard-earned cash or is it going to his bills?
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Some comments from the male side of the fence......

    If I didn't have bills from my house (presumably electricity, food, etc), and I was living in someone else's house, I'd expect to pay a share of the bills. If it's your bf, bf's parents and you living in the house, a quarter of the bills sounds right to me.

    As for the rest, its difficult to find any positives to say about it.

    If he's your bf, he's meant to be supportive and understanding of you. That means understanding dancing is a tiring, stressful job. It means doing his share of the housework, and it means indicating to his ex's that texting him, etc, asking if he's still got a gf is not acceptable.

    Paying your share of mutual bills is OK, but if he's asking you to pay bills incurred purely by him, I'd say that's not on.

    I'd think it's time to have a long, hard think about your relationship.

    Phil.
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    Newbie lilred's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    You can definitely do better. I promise.

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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Quote Originally Posted by Harleigh HellKat View Post
    So I think I may take a strip trip and just not come back. We'll see.
    I think you've found the perfect solution. You don't need to be putting up with that or supporting him!
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  11. #8
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Hey guys thanks for the feedback!!

    Yeah at first it was all roses and chocolates... now it's like I have to throw a tantrum to get a backrub. (that's another big issue I have, I believe that giving and receiving backrubs is essential to a relationship. Don't know why, it just is.) And I still can't get a damn backrub.

    And no I can't save money... it all goes to bills. Car, motorcycle, phone, insurance, etc etc etc. This really sucks. I do see the point of helping out but I'd at least like to feel appreciated.

    I'll be strip tripping with my buddy next month so I'll keep you guys updated on what happens. Again, thanks to all of you for the support!

  12. #9
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Quote Originally Posted by Harleigh HellKat View Post
    Hey guys thanks for the feedback!!

    Yeah at first it was all roses and chocolates... now it's like I have to throw a tantrum to get a backrub. (that's another big issue I have, I believe that giving and receiving backrubs is essential to a relationship. Don't know why, it just is.) And I still can't get a damn backrub.

    And no I can't save money... it all goes to bills. Car, motorcycle, phone, insurance, etc etc etc. This really sucks. I do see the point of helping out but I'd at least like to feel appreciated.

    I'll be strip tripping with my buddy next month so I'll keep you guys updated on what happens. Again, thanks to all of you for the support!
    Wow! You sound like me! A man's massage skills are up there in importance with his dick size.
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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Yep, exactly.

    Even the biggest assholes I've dated didn't mind giving me a massage, but for some reason this guy won't do it.

    I don't understand.

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    Veteran Member jadelady's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Have fun on the trip! You can do bigger and better things without this unappreciative dude holding you down You'll have more freedom. Best wishes!

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Can I just say I loved reading your post. You are hilarious and can definitely get a much better BF.

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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    you can and will do better. good luck!

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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Cough cough

    Colorado Springs has atleast four strip clubs

    Cough cough

  18. #15
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Here is the dilemma as I have found it:

    If you work night hours and sleep during the day NORMAL 9-5ERS cannot get their head around this concept no matter what. If you are still asleep then u r lazy in their eyes. After I work a 12 hour shift, getting home at 8am and I am still asleep at 1pm (which is only 5 hours sleep) I am a lazy, lay-about.

    It's best not to associate too much with 9-5ers I have found!!
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  19. #16
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Maybe I should wake the bf up and tell him he needs to get a 3rd shift job...?

  20. #17
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    if you cant trust him while you are away, then you shouldnt be dating him.

    if you hit up NOLA, PM me. i live here now!
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Now as they say...the other side of the story. It is ok to sleep when you actually worked, but you sleep all day even when off for several days. In fact you went several weeks with no work and it was the same. Never clean up after yourself, never offer to help around the house, eat anything in the house and leave your dirty dishes for others to clean. No offers to help with food, utilities or anything else. Leave the bathroom a mess with hair dye, glitter and weave droppings, which your bf routinly had to clean up for you. Discuss your chosen career in front of a 5 year old. Not once saying thanks for giving you a roof over your head, heat and food. Going on a trip and not coming back is the best idea I have heard yet. Thanks - the asshole parents that helped you out.

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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    I came to this website for support because I moved up here with NO friends, NO on to talk to, and NO privacy. I did not take off work for weeks, I took off maybe one week around Christmas... Because it was CHRISTMAS. I work 8-16 hours doing hard cardio in platform stilettos with an hour drive to work and back. This site is for dancers, so that we can have support, not for people posing as dancers to invade their son's girlfriend's privacy. I see that you are trying to embarrass me or cause problems between D and I by posting this and bringing it to his attention, when all I needed was advice on something. It's not going to work. As far as rent and utilities go, D NEVER mentioned anything about paying. Every time I would ask if anyone needed help with groceries or dishes they would say no. And most of the time I was 'sleeping' all day, I was just hiding out because of all the door-slamming drama going on in the other rooms and the fact that no one would even speak two words to me. And as for helping out... there comes a point when you just give up. ESPECIALLY after the get a job comment. Sincerely, The person cleaning up dog shit
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    Veteran Member Camillian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    I have to agree, you (the parents) don't belong here. You're not curious guests. Whether you are "right" or "justified"or not.

    Did she go to your friend's places or church or forums you belong to and try to argue her side to them? As I am sure you have talked smack about her as well at some point. Maybe. But probably not. Even if she did, two wrongs and all...

    If you don't like the circumstances, you can give her 30 days notice. I find it weird that you, I don't know, checked your computer's history and tracked down this site and joined just to try to prove your point and embarrass her. Why do you feel the need to defend yourselves here, to us?

  25. #21
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    I'd also like to add that we no longer live there... we moved out last week. So I fail to see the point of this posting AFTER we move out.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    God I hate psycho BF parents. I used to have some. Some people are just plan assholes.

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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    AND on top of that... it's really hard to help out with utilities when D has SO many bills that the both of us can't even stay on top of them. I moved here in November with NO winter clothing and nowhere to live because he left the army... I remedy that by working more hours... he remedies it by... keeping his motorcycle payment..? His freaking MOTORCYCLE or a place to live? I was supposed to join the military and leave last summer for a steady paycheck and benefits. D talked me out of that, saying he'd help take care of me. I was SO close to shipping out, but he talked me out of it. I usually stay out of the drama but I'm tired of getting screwed over by everyone. D and I were taken for a lot of money back home by terrible roommates, and I chose not to stand up for myself and just let it go. I try to stay out of the drama by not standing up for myself but it's not worth it. I'm worth more and can do better. Oh, and on the backrub note... I got PAID 150$ to get a footrub the other day. So yeah, my boyfriend can't even do it but someone else can pay ME to give ME a footrub.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    LOL. They tagged themselves Parents1.

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    Senior Member Marilynxoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant rant bitch bitch...

    Wow all I can say is wow! There are two sides to every story but by tracking your son's GF down on the web and attempting to embarrass her kinda proves who's the saner of the bunch. Harleigh it sounds like you are in a pretty sucky environment. So what if you left hair dye in the sink talking to you in person would have been the mature way to handle it not confronting you in a public forum (where they have no business). I agree with everyone else stripping can be exhausting- we are up all night, on our feet, not to mention it can be emotionally draining as well. Even when you are off your body still has to adjust to the time change.
    Some people seem to think stripping is an easy job and that we are a bunch of party girls taking the easy way out. Don't get me wrong I love my job but I find it insulting when people suggest that being a cashier at walmart or where ever is somehow more challenging. We deal with crap that anywhere else would be considered sexual harassment. Stripping is a sales job at heart it might take place in a bar but we still need brains and intuition to succeed. While the BF's parents are on this site maybe they'll take the time to read posts and understand your job better.

    On a side note NOLA is a great city! I love working here feel free to message if you're thinking about coming down.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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