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Thread: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

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    Dizzy He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    I met a guy on holiday and we had hot sex every night for a week.

    He kept saying we should hang out when we both get back home... He sent me really nice text messages over Christmas.

    BUT I have been home for a week and he hasn't called me.

    I sent him a text 7 days ago saying "Happy New Year, you are welcome to pass by when you have time, even just for a coffee."

    NOTHING Not even a polite rejection.

    Can someone please tell me the brutal truth, preferably from a man's prospective... I know sites like ASKMEN. com say don't call the girl for a week and all kinds of shit, am I experiencing a strategy or is it that he just wanted some ass and now we're done???

    What the hell?

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    I'm not a dude, but I'd say he was in it for the sex. I wouldn't count on him calling.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    So you are both from the same town and you met on holiday? Are you sure he is not married or has a girlfriend?

    I dont think a week is that long. You two were together non stop for a week. Most of us guys like our space.

    Serious though if you had sex with him every night for a week....He isnt worried about calling you back right away. He knows he has you and can get back to you when he feels like it. Its not meant to be mean, its just how we are.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Sorry to say, but he was probably a "player." If he was looking for a long-term relationship you would have heard from him by now. I'm sure he's a good looking guy and has no trouble meeting lots of girls if he wanted. I have an acquaintance who is exactly like that, and he bangs a ton of girls with his pretty boy face, muscular body, and by being a really good talker. Takes very little effort for guys like that to meet girls. He could be walking down the street or drinking coffee at starbucks and easily pick up ladies.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    This is coming from a girl who believe in the "90 day" and "Friends first" rule when it comes to long term relationships.

    I wouldn't count on him calling back either. Sounds like he just wanted to "TAP that ass". Men will say/do anything to get in your panties.. you should know that by now girl!


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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    I feel like such an idiot.

    He was like 'on our first date when we get back I'm going to take you for crepes. blah blah blah yadayada.' And he was extremely nice on the way back, he sat next to me on the plane... said he was going to miss me, said we should go to NYC together.

    And I got a brazilian bikini wax and bought new sheets and I am so sure I am never going to hear form him now :-(

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Quote Originally Posted by hello-kitty View Post
    he's just not that into you.
    Sadly, this is it. Sorry.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvlyDancer View Post
    I feel like such an idiot.

    He was like 'on our first date when we get back I'm going to take you for crepes. blah blah blah yadayada.' And he was extremely nice on the way back, he sat next to me on the plane... said he was going to miss me, said we should go to NYC together.

    And I got a brazilian bikini wax and bought new sheets and I am so sure I am never going to hear form him now :-(
    We've all been there! Every time I've gone out of my way to get all nice and cleaned up for a man I inevitably get stood up.
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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    We've all been there! Every time I've gone out of my way to get all nice and cleaned up for a man I inevitably get stood up.
    ditto! so don't feel bad. I one time got new perfume, lingerie, etc. only to find out he wasn't coming back.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    You had a week of hot sex with a guy you didnt know. Enjoyed the hell outta it and now it's time to move on. Go find better sex honey.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Quote Originally Posted by 1st_samurai View Post
    Sorry to say, but he was probably a "player." If he was looking for a long-term relationship you would have heard from him by now. I'm sure he's a good looking guy and has no trouble meeting lots of girls if he wanted. I have an acquaintance who is exactly like that, and he bangs a ton of girls with his pretty boy face, muscular body, and by being a really good talker. Takes very little effort for guys like that to meet girls. He could be walking down the street or drinking coffee at starbucks and easily pick up ladies.
    You sound awfully bitter.

    Quote Originally Posted by 1st_samurai View Post
    At the very least you can be glad you didn't pregnant and have to get an abortion.
    ...And that's some rude shit right there.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    I have to agree with the others. I had something like that happen to me years ago (ie having sex too early in the relationship), then he said we'd go out on a date. He even made a date, but I never heard back. It stinks, but some people (men and women) are like that. This is why I never rush into sex with guys I am interested in having serious relationships with. However, it's only been a week and maybe he has other things he's involved in. I hope if he's someone you are interested in he calls, but if not, you will find someone better.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Sorry, I had no intention to be rude. Just speaking from the experience of that guy I know who is a real player. He's got at least several girls pregnant before and paid for the abortions. He feels bad about the abortions, but can't seem to stop himself from having condomless sex when he thinks the girl is safe.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    The first Dominatrix who mentored me told me something I'll never forget- "Men don't value what they don't have to work for." Sadly, I think there's a lot of truth in it. But it's an insight you can use to your advantage, both in the sex industry and in the dating world.

    I agree with Jay. I know you're bummed but you don't have to look at it this way. You had a fun fling and some hot sex. Not a bad way to spend the holidays. If you want more than that now, you're freed up to go find it.
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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    I still dont think a week is too long.

    From a ladies point of view i guess it is.....

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    When will I ever learn...

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Don't feel bad. I've been there one too many times in the past.. never again

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    What should I do if he calls now? Or next week or something??

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Just play it cool but don't get your hopes up if he dosen't. He would have called by now ya know?

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Any possibility he's lost your contact details?

    Like lost/had his phone stolen, etc.

    From a guy POV, if I'd been sleeping with you on holiday, but didn't want to pursue it when I got back, I'd find some tactful reason why I couldn't see you. I'd see no reason in hurting your feelings if I could let you down gently.

    I mean, having slept with someone, you can't have no feelings for them whatever. (At least I can't).

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvlyDancer View Post
    What should I do if he calls now? Or next week or something??
    What do you want to do?
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    I don't want to blow whatever chance (ok ,its one in a million, I know) I might have.

    I know if he calls I can't be like "WHY didn't you CALL?'.... like I know I have to act like it is no big deal at all.

    What I just cannot understand is why he continued all the friendly text messages, only to ignore me when I invite him over.

    Maybe the passion was just the tropical island and the all inclusive liquor? But when I think of him fucking me I can nearly come without even touching myself, I was THAT attracted to him.

    Also since he's a police officer I might have gotten a little carried away with the 'happily ever after' fantasies... I just wish I could forget this now.

    I need to delete his number from my phone in case I get drunk one day and call this guy.

    And since he's a cop I'm sure he can find me really easily if he lost my phone number. He made sure he knew my last name, maybe he already looked me up in their system.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvlyDancer View Post
    What should I do if he calls now? Or next week or something??
    Well, it sounds like you do not want to just be a booty call. So as I see it, you have to options. you could either write him off and move on. Meaning ignore him if he tries to initiate contact again. Or, you could try dating him without sex. If he doesn't go for that, well, you know the other option wasn't too good for you anyway. On the other hand, if he does want to keep seeing you even when it's not all about sex, then maybe it stands a chance.
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    As Katherine Hepburn put it so eloquently " Nature is what we were put here to rise above"

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Aside from the possibilies already mentioned he may have been sincere but at a certain point after being apart he decided that he didn't want to pursue things with you. I think playing games with stupid rules like waiting a set amount of time before calling is really childish and manipulative. If he does contact you in the future just know that the delay isn't because he lost your number or was too busy but he is into playing mind and control games.

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    Default Re: He hasn't called me back for a week: your brutal honesty please

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvlyDancer View Post
    I don't want to blow whatever chance (ok ,its one in a million, I know) I might have.
    Why are you so concerned with blowing your chance? You've only known this guy a week, and ya, the sex was good, but that isn't all THAT unusual, unless you're into major kink (which I totally support ). Why not instead feel sorry for HIM, if he blows his chance with you?

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvlyDancer View Post
    I know if he calls I can't be like "WHY didn't you CALL?'.... like I know I have to act like it is no big deal at all.
    This is a tough one. No, you shouldn't ever be all up in their ass about not calling, being there, etc. BUT I also don't think you should act like it's no biggie when it obviously was to you. I mean, he hurt your feelings and you should be with someone that you can tell that sorta thing to. Laid back or not, a girl needs a guy that can handle all her flaws and foibles.

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvlyDancer View Post
    What I just cannot understand is why he continued all the friendly text messages, only to ignore me when I invite him over.

    Maybe the passion was just the tropical island and the all inclusive liquor? But when I think of him fucking me I can nearly come without even touching myself, I was THAT attracted to him.
    He could just be busy, or the invite could have driven home the reality of taking a fling to a more relationshipy place...or there could literally be a dozen other reasons, ranging from he's a complete, immature asshole to he's just a normal person with some issues. The primary thing I'd be concerned with is why this particular guy is so important to you? Finding that sorta chemistry is great, but you don't wanna assign undue importance to someone that you just met cause yanno, they may not deserve it. Being physically attracted to someone is very important, but it pales in comparison to being truely compatible.

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvlyDancer View Post
    Also since he's a police officer I might have gotten a little carried away with the 'happily ever after' fantasies... I just wish I could forget this now.

    I need to delete his number from my phone in case I get drunk one day and call this guy.

    And since he's a cop I'm sure he can find me really easily if he lost my phone number. He made sure he knew my last name, maybe he already looked me up in their system.
    Ya, he should be able to find you easily. That doesn't mean he'll be in a rush to do it tho. Hell, I'm an OCD girl and I've waited a week or two to contact peeps in the past. I'd just relax and continue your normally scheduled dating life.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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