Results 1 to 22 of 22

Thread: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Camillian's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    NW
    Posts
    266
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    How do you ladies handle getting older, fatter, wrinklier etc?

    I don't mean surgery/skin care and exercise, I mean emotionally?

    Aging is natural, I know, but lately I have been feeling VERY depressed about my age/height/looks. Somehow I think dancers might suffer from this more then regular gals, mainly becausse it's hard to watch your looks fade when you have relied on them for your living.

    I have recently discovered that my true desire is to act and model, but I feel I have discovered this too late in life. Realistically it's highly unlikely. I'm no dog, in real life I am tall and attractive, there are women that would kill to have my looks, but in the world of modeling and acting, I am old and fat and live in the wrong part of the US. The cards are stacked against me.

    Any tips to maintain a self esteem about one's self and looks when they are destine to fade away eventually? No amount of exercise and surgury can stave off the forward march of time.

  2. #2
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,264
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked 426 Times in 247 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    When I feel bummed out about time passing, I think about Tempest Storm. In her 80's and still performing, still classy - those boobs look real enough and she's not had a hundred facelifts over the years - she does dye her hair, though.

    http://stupidcelebrities.net/wp-content/wenn1224124.jpg

    I admire her a lot, and it cheers me up no end to think that if she can still fill seats at her age, there's hope for us all.

  3. #3
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    It's scary, but at the same time it's a weird experience. When I was in my 20's I was beautiful and knew it. I could be cruel to others I considered "ugly" including sweet men and friends. I only dated "hot" guys. I was a narcisstic person. In that respect getting into dancing and modeling made it worse because it was an affirmation that I was hot. I was smart but I was most proud of being beautiful. Sad now that I look back. I remember my mother warning me about putting an emphasis on looks, but I didn't heed her advice.

    However, once I hit my 30's, I realized that I wasn't as cute as I was. Oh sure I still turn heads, but not like I did. I'm starting to see grey hairs (yuck) and I can't lose weight like I could, though I still workout. I also had an accident several years ago that resulted in arthritis developing (bad fall in bathtub). Those hot guys who drooled over me in my 20's went on to other girls and most of the nice guys are now married with families. All of this has put my life in perspective the last few years. Next year I'll turn 40 and that scares me tremendously. I've come to terms with not being the young sexy girl I was. I am thankful though that I have a great personality because that is far more important in the long run than looks. You know what though? People like me more now for my terrific personality than my looks and it's a great feeling. In my 20's many guys only dated me because of my looks. Now, I am finding guys (including reconnecting with an old guy friend who's about to officially become my boyfriend) are more interested in more than sex (this was a big problem with me in my 20's). These guys are the ones I dismissed in my 20's because they weren't hot but they are nice guys. I am a better person now in the long run. I don't judge like I did.

    My advice is simple: develop other interests/goals, etc. Don't be judgemental about looks (I admit I still do to some extent on obese people but am working on this). Also, don't stress because it makes aging worse. See people as who they are and not what they look like.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member MissMynxx's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2008
    Location
    West Coast <3
    Posts
    505
    Thanks
    473
    Thanked 382 Times in 155 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    This is crazy - my fiance and I just had a conversation about this like ... yesterday!

    I just turned 21 (FINALLY!!!!), and it just sort of hit me that while I still have a LOT of "young" left in me, I realized that I AM getting older, and eventually I won't be the sexy 21-year-old anymore. I hear a lot of people in my circle of friends (all of whom are substantially older than me, they're in their 30's and 40's) say a lot when they see a pretty older woman that "Wow, she's beautiful for her age. You can tell she was a knockout when she was in her 20's." and it SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

    I don't want to be 40 and look "good for my age" and have it be a situation where people look at me and say they can see that I WAS beautiful and hot and sexy in my 20's.

    I'm still trying to come to terms with it. I guess I take comfort in the fact that I have a fiance and with how our relationship is, it's GOING to last so I don't have to worry about being on the market in several years; and I also take some comfort in that at least if I take care of myself I WILL look good - whether it's good for my age or not.

    Aging is natural. It's still scary.
    "The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
    ...sweet things alone are not enough. Seduce me with more fire."

  5. #5
    Veteran Member Camillian's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    NW
    Posts
    266
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    Thanks everyone
    Last edited by Camillian; 01-22-2010 at 10:26 AM.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Camillian's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    NW
    Posts
    266
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    I guess I am just ranting really.

  7. #7
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    49
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    be eternally grateful for the time you have & treat yourself well. some people don't even look good at their "peak". I only hope that when I'm 40 I'm healthy and I'm not worrying about my wrinkles...and just focusing on what really matters.... SO, kids, a career and my general happiness...damn I'm lame!

  8. #8
    Veteran Member Camillian's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    NW
    Posts
    266
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeannine View Post
    be eternally grateful for the time you have & treat yourself well. some people don't even look good at their "peak". I only hope that when I'm 40 I'm healthy and I'm not worrying about my wrinkles...and just focusing on what really matters.... SO, kids, a career and my general happiness...damn I'm lame!
    That's not lame at all!

    I try to be very focused on my happiness. This is one of the only things that really get me down nowa days, I think because I made a 12 year career based upon my looks.

    I just have to come to terms with the fact that I will never be a fashion model or star actress or even a dancer pulling down $500+ a night. I can always do bit parts though, and I still get the occasional paid modeling gig, it could be far worse.

    I try to focus on what works (I'm a hokey newager and belive in the law of attraction) but sometimes reality just gets the better of me. I am trying to live up to an impossable standard. I'll never fly or shoot flames from my ass either, but that doesn't seem to bug me like this does at times, ha ha.

    I think many women feel this way when they hit 30 (any many times even younger). People stop carding you, start calling you "older" And your like "hey! I'm not older! I still feel young", but the truth is, you start to notice the sagging and people calling you ma'am and that can be tough especially when you don't feel any different.

    Sometimes I wonder why wrinkles and stretch marks aren't considered beautiful on women in our society. Men seem to get better/more desirable and more attractive with age. A woman's stretchmarks, scars and wrinkles are her badges of knowledge and child birth, yet we only value virtue(/virginity) and youth when it comes to women.

  9. #9
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    18
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    be a wise woman bad ass

  10. #10
    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    South UK
    Posts
    1,682
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked 583 Times in 397 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeannine View Post
    be eternally grateful for the time you have & treat yourself well. some people don't even look good at their "peak". I only hope that when I'm 40 I'm healthy and I'm not worrying about my wrinkles...and just focusing on what really matters.... SO, kids, a career and my general happiness...damn I'm lame!
    I couldn't agree more!

    I'm in my 40's now and model high heels for a living - and I came into it late in my life.

    However - I'm blessed with nice legs (full and curvy...'thick' I guess), small feet and nice toes...and I'm very grateful that I have the chance to do something that I had wanted to do for years. I've been doing it online now for 2 years - and my Website Galleries have been viewed over 1.75 million times.....so I'm doing something right!

    Going back to the original question - live in the 'now'...don't regret the past or project about the future. One of the things that helped me, was finding a balance within myself that allows me to look at the world in perspective - and laugh at the stupidness of a lot of it.

    The trick is to have faith in yourself and your abilities. If you want to act or model - there's nothing to stop you - depsite your fears of what others may say or think.

    There are PLENTY of opportunities for older women to model...hair, hands, feet...you can model clothes, shoes....plenty of things, if you really want to.

    If you choose acting - enrol with an acting school - it is there where you will find your true talents and be given the guidance to fulfill your hopes and desires.

    In today's superficial, consumer driven, greed filled society - looks and fashion are given far too much importance. Believe me - I've had my times when the wrinkles and sags have got me down - but in truth - it's your spirit and personality that will be your greatest friends and win through for you.

    Believe in your self - and others will believe in you too (eventually). Be grateful for the fact that you have these opportunities - as so many people in this world do not have the choices that you can take for granted.

    Freedom gives you a lot of power in this world - and gratitude helps you keep things real.

    If you get this....then you can just go for it!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

  11. #11
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,149
    Thanks
    1,307
    Thanked 2,530 Times in 1,295 Posts
    My Mood
    Sick

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    I sometimes worry about this. I am only 27 now and still look pretty young. But then I'll see this drop dead gorgeous woman in her 40s and I realize I don't have to let myself go. I will fight it...gracefully. I am bi and find my older female playmates 40+ a hell of a lot sexier than some of the young ones. They just have a certain confidence that is so appealing. Just keeping yourself well groomed and dressed, even without surgery and such you can still look beautiful. As far as the modeling goes. What about commercial modeling? They need women who look like ordinary women.

  12. #12
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    I turned 30 recently and this is the way I look at it - aging - there is SWEET FUCK ALL you can do about it so just be the best that you can be at whatever age you are.

    I feel more beautiful at 30 than I have at any other age I have been. I attract men from 18 upwards still because I keep myself looking young. I am confident and I feel sexier than I ever had.

    I'm better looking now than I was in my 20s (because I've had a nose job, coloured my hair blonde which suits me more and had breast implants) so I guess that's why it's not bothering me.

    I work with women in their 40s who are absolutely stunning. They are far more attractive than the majority of 18-25 year olds and have far better bodies.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  13. #13
    Senior Member coco34's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    109
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked 23 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    I agree. There are many women I've met before who actually got prettier with age. I've known my best friend's mom for almost 20 years now, and she was always attractive, but as she got older her looks got better. A lot of people have told her this, actually.

    Having said that...I completely understand how you feel. I'm only 21 and I'm terrified of aging. Deep down, I know that it's ridiculous because I'm still very young, but I can't help it.

  14. #14
    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    370
    Thanks
    158
    Thanked 100 Times in 66 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    I had a mini mental breakdown on my 25th birthday because of how 'over the hill' I felt.

    With all the 'barely legal' popularity and most celebrities being so young and picked apart as they age and stuff, it's no wonder women have a messed up perception on aging.

  15. #15
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    Quote Originally Posted by Camillian View Post
    ... I have even devoted a good portion of my life to making other women feel good about themselves (stared doing makeup at Glamor Shots at 15 and am now a licensed makeup artist and, while I have worked with models and been published, the majority of my work is done for older women wanting sexy images for their husbands.)

    ...
    Then I started modeling (I free lance model and am plus sized model, tho I'm not plus sized as + models aren't actually plus sized).
    ...I have always loved to entertain and I LOVE modeling and makeup, but I'm not making enough money doing makeup and modeling and since the economy crashed, I am needing to make money again. But I am embarrassed about my body (always have been really) and realize that the dancers and models that make real money are the thinnest, youngest ones.
    ...
    In the end, I really just want to feel good about being me and be able to make a decent living to help my family, but I am too chicken to even go back to dancing, so I get depressed about getting older and I feel my value is decreasing with time.
    I don't know abou tthe dancing as ieven if you get back in it with your back problems and continued aging like us all, it will be a pretty short time remaining.

    Nor do I know a thing about clothes marketing. But if you think about it, by far the most clothing is bought by people who do not anymore look like teenagers. So iyt seems that manufacturers or clothing stores would want models that most of their customers can relate to. And that is an atttractive woman who is not a teenager anymore. To me that would be your target market.

    Devlop a spiel and start looking for companies selling clothing to the adult clientele.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member Camillian's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    NW
    Posts
    266
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    Thanks everyone
    Last edited by Camillian; 01-22-2010 at 10:25 AM.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    370
    Thanks
    158
    Thanked 100 Times in 66 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    You have an ideal hip to waist ratio! Nothing cartoony about that! That's smexy!

  18. #18
    Veteran Member Camillian's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    NW
    Posts
    266
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi_Girl View Post
    You have an ideal hip to waist ratio! Nothing cartoony about that! That's smexy!
    Thanks everyone
    Last edited by Camillian; 01-22-2010 at 10:25 AM.

  19. #19
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    Quote Originally Posted by Camillian View Post
    ...I think what's brought this all on is that I have hit some major financial blocks. I went from having a savings and being well set up (through very hard work for many years) And now, among other things, savings is gone, I have a rental property that is worth less then I paid for it and I just lost my current renter and have been unable to find another, so I am super stressing about money! Not to mention falling behind on property tax for the house I live in (which I also can't sell as I owe more then it's worth)...
    Try to hold onto those properties, as real estate will come back in a couple of years. Also not all club customers want to look at the "skinny" girls. some like the voluptuous ones. Makeup and hair styling will help a lot. After all, to us guys, that's all a bit of magic.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to threlayer For This Useful Post:


  21. #20
    Veteran Member Camillian's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    NW
    Posts
    266
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer View Post
    Try to hold onto those properties, as real estate will come back in a couple of years. Also not all club customers want to look at the "skinny" girls. some like the voluptuous ones. Makeup and hair styling will help a lot. After all, to us guys, that's all a bit of magic.
    Thanks everyone
    Last edited by Camillian; 01-22-2010 at 10:24 AM.

  22. #21
    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Va
    Posts
    522
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 20 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    I think when you rely on your physical appearance for your financial security it is reasonable to be concerned about aging. That is why I'm looking forward to getting out of stripping. I've had a great run and still look pretty good, but I'm tired of focusing my energy and attention on a depreciating resource.

    I think it's important to develop a wide range of interests and abilities and have the capacity to support yourself and your family using other skills. However, I sympathize with those of you who get tremendous satisfaction out of physical and aesthetic pursuits. But maybe there are other professions that would be equally satisfying? Photography, interior decorating, choreography, fine art, fitness instructor, landscape architect, etc. are all fields that make use of artistic sensibilities. Just a suggestion. Personally I get a lot of enjoyment out of creating and admiring beautiful things. As my personal physical beauty fades I hope that I can add beauty to the world in other ways.

  23. #22
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: Coming to terms with with truth and desire

    I am 40. I stopped celebrating my b-day at 37. This actually helps me a lot, the no birthday party thing. My family has no issue with it because it falls so close or on Thanksgiving, that it is fairly easy to forget. I told them we can start celebrating again when I turn 70. And I want male strippers to come to the party, lol!

    There is a decent ladies mag for gals like us called "More". There are great hints and tricks on how to dress fashionably and look fabulous at any age.

    Good things about getting older:

    *The likelihood of sexual harassment goes way, way down. As a matter of fact, us older ladies are more likely to sexually harass a young guy.
    *I feel less stressed about little things like cellulite and puffy eyes. Those minor things just don't rattle me like a pimple did back in the day.
    *I can use phrases like "Back in the day" with authority.
    *I can feel proud that I know how to use technology better than my 15 year old step son.

    And then there is situations like this one:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b9Z3MYo2M0


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


Similar Threads

  1. Supplement Company Marketing Terms, The Truth!
    By Will in forum Body Business
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-08-2010, 12:50 PM
  2. Coming to terms with my boobies
    By lolagetz in forum Body Business
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 02-08-2007, 12:01 AM
  3. Club Desire in Providence, RI
    By Kaiyla in forum Club Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-24-2006, 01:03 PM
  4. Stripping and Desire
    By Icarus69 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 06-05-2004, 08:22 AM
  5. Ladies, who do you desire?
    By lethalsoul in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 07-15-2003, 09:05 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •